Min, the Horrible New Cliché
Dib was feeling so forlorn. "I am so forlorn," he said, for he had nobody to love and everyone hated him. "It's funny," he said aloud, "but today I actually care about whether or not people like me. How odd." he walked depressedly to skool, knowing nobody would ever bring him out of his spontaneous plight. He took his seat as Ms. Bitters began her long and rambly doom speech.
Then out of the blue a marvelously beautiful, beautifully marvelous girl bounded into the classroom! She had black hair and was really smart and hated all the skoolchildren except Dib and was wearing a purple shirt and black shorts. She was absolutely beauteous! Ms. Bitters sighed and quoted word for word a combination of the speech she gave when Tak and Zim arrived, and upon finishing the girl began to say in a voice as perfect as a majestic unicorn eating ice cream and sunbathing on a sprawling tropical beach as lollipops sang and the sun smiled at the beautiful rainbows in the sky. Or at least it would've if right after that scene the unicorn was stabbed by a billion swords, the sun exploded, and the ice cream fell out of its cone.
"I'M MIN!" the girl screamed raucously. "I'M NEW HEEr, AND OMG THAT BOY IS AN ALIuN AND I LUV DIB3."
She flounced over to the very scared looking boy she had professed her love to and nearly blew his ears off as she yelled, "I'M RELLY AN IRKEN AND THE DAGHTER OF THE TALEST! I LOVE TO SING!" she broke out into a terrible version of Pocket Full of Sunshine and afterwards, after several students committed suicide to stop the pain, she explained how it symbolized her sadness. She then went back to Dib and started making out with him.
"Jesus Christ, get the hell away from me!" Dib commanded her.
"Dont u 3 meeee!" the girl began to cry.
"I don't even know who the fuck you are!" Dib told her as she bawled.
"I'll prove my love bi unasking ZIM in front of you all!" she screamed, taking off Zim's disguise in front of all the dead students (no one was left alive in the room except Zim and Dib and Min). Zim promptly changed the amount of living people to two as he shot the girl in the stomach.
"ALL I EVAR WANTID WUZ LOOVE!" she said as her blood poured out.
As she died, Dib asked "What the hell just happened? That had to be the worst Mary-Sue ever..."
Somewhere in a dark basement several girls with unholy Dib fetishes screamed "ALERT! ALERT! The Dib has become self-aware!"
"What the hell do we do!" one screamed.
"Take MS0123341 out and wipe everyone's memories, and replace her with another one! Then maybe people will think Sues are an original concept!"
As MS0123341 was taken out of the Zim-world and time was rewound and memories were wiped, the girls sat and watched to see whether or not the replacement would have any success with Dib.
Each of the girls, all named Mary Sue, cackled with delight as MS01234224665 entered the classroom and instantly won over everyone. "So it begins," MS1 smiled from atop her throne of evil.