They looked like two black holes, you know? His eyes, I mean.
And not just because they were extremely flashy, seductive and gorgeous, but also because they didn't seem alive. I don't know, there was something was missing to complete them. The funniest thing is that even like that his eyes were my favorite view.
I watched them every day. It was a routine, I already knew well when I'd see them, to where they would turn to and even the exactly moment I should turn my face away and pretend I didn't care anymore.
My heart speeds up every time I see him, what is kind of ridiculous! I felt ridiculous just by the fact that I had to control my breath, my distraction… It was ridiculous when I forgot what I was saying to someone or what I was writing in a test just because he was close to me.
The novels I read constantly only served to feed this miserable life of regrets and hurt. Every character – no mattered how different they were – reminded me of him somehow. Mr. Darcy from Pride & Prejudice, Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights or even a simple Mr. Rochester from Jane Eyre.
My God, I am ridiculous! Just because all of those men were rude, selfish, idiots and insolent – just like him – it didn't mean that he was exactly like them. In the end of the day, both Heathcliff and Mr. Rochester (the worst ones in my humble opinion) were nothing but human beings hopelessly and deeply in love with beautiful women. I won't even start talking about Mr. Darcy…
But in his case, in my case, it wouldn't be like that.
What happens is the same old history: The naive girl deluded by her childish fairy tales!
I turned my eyes away when I notice I've been watched for too long.
In front of me I see Temari who doesn't stop gossiping about something that involves her project. And in this project, poor Shikamaru is serving as a guinea pig.
I try my best to pay attention, I swear I do, but… Those eyes… Damn! They were too attractive.
"Tenten!" Temari's scream wakes me up from the trance, though I didn't really want to go back to reality.
And this want was making my life tough.
The hours felt like torture! We studied at the same college, we were at the same classes and still every morning I hoped that I wouldn't see him the hole day or at least for a while.
Ten P.M.
The worst time. The worst moment. If it wasn't enough for me to suffer from the moment I got into the University, I had to humiliate myself on the bus stop sitting beside him at the end of the class.
I sat by myself. At first I was feeling scared thinking about what I was going to face, but then I felt happy believing that he was five minutes late and he would probably never showed up.
The happiness suddenly was replaced by a feeling of anger.
He appeared in the corner… Talking to his friends and saying goodbye to all of them. Like nothing had happened. No, I'm not the ridiculous one here. Neji Hyuuga is the ridiculous one!
He sees me, opens his sexy smile – that makes me shiver – and I keep still.
"Good evening, Tenten" he says squeezing next to me.
"Good evening, Neji"
Although it wasn't what I wanted, I got away from him, showing that I wasn't into his games.
"How was your day?"
"Normal."
"What about the test?"
"Fine."
"…"
Who would say that I would become the queen of the monosyllable answers! I guess it bothers him the way it used to bother me. Maybe I'm the most responsible for the changes.
"I'm driving my car tonight, do you…?"
"No, thanks." I answered fast, cutting him off before he could finish it.
He sighs.
"We can't be like this forever."
"We're not like this."
"Friends?" he reached his hand that he once used to grab my face and kiss me… Damn it! I hate him for simply remind me of all that months together.
I shook his hand, not certain that this is our destiny.
"I really like you…" he says again, the way he always does every night.
I'm starting not to be able to handle this anymore. We're getting closer and intimate, and I just can't repel it.
"So do I."
Another sigh, coming from me this time.
"See you tomorrow."
"See ya."
And then I notice that right now Neji is my Heathcliff, he's my Darcy, my Rochester! Even though my ending is not so happy as the English stories, I know that what we had wasn't in vain.
I watch him while he stands up and leave me alone in the middle of the bus stop, tears rolling down my face. I know what I did was right, I know I can't suffer anymore and be deceived. No matter how much I love him…
So, if the right thing to do is have self respect, get away and find someone else…
Why do I feel so… Torn?
Hey guys. So, I bet you thought that this fic is not as good as the others, but I'm not American or English or anything like that! I'm from Brazil and this is the first time I write in English (besides my Writting tests in my English class!). Probably there are lots of grammar mistakes, but please just ignore them. If it is too bad, so sorry! It's my first time, like I said, and I'll try to get better.
Please, leave me reviews with your opinion about the story! Did you like it? Did you hate it? Just do it.
Hope 2012 is being great to everybody xoxo.