Lucas owns all these chracters, not me. He does great films. He doesn't own
HH and AK, I think someone else does. Not me though, I respect their
writing, but they never worked together, did they?
Yoda concentrated very hard, willing the Force to move time, space and the star of a certain popular TV series.
"Horatio Hornblower call must I."
Yoda got a shock. Apparently, Hornblower was not one man, but was in actual fact one man with another clinging to his ankle. The diminutive Jedi master moved forward to greet him/them, wondering if Kennedy ever did leave Hornblower alone for five minutes.
Horatio squinted down at Yoda (Have you ever wondered why he spends all that time with the telescope covering his eye, only to see absolutely nothing new? Short-sighted, methinks)
Kennedy sat up in surprise, having found himself at eye level with a very scrawny, hairy green knee. Yoda had discovered the joy of the Mini-robe, but had unfortunately not discovered Immac or razors at the same time.
Yoda: Welcome you are. HH: Kennedy, who is this? AK: My dear Horatio, this Yoda is. I his grammar have picked up.
(Kennedy, being the super observant, more gorgeous, more useful and better read of the pair, always had a good idea what was going on.)
Yoda: (smiles indulgently)(erm, how? Did he ever smile? Can you
imagine that at all?) Yes, Yoda I am. It's nice to see you, to see you
nice. (where the h**l did that come from?)
HH and AK look at each other as if "did you get that" I start to
explain, but Yoda's ears started to droop.
Darth Vader stood up, removing his hand from Yoda's arse. The puppet
falls limp to the floor.
DV: Good morning gentlemen. You.
Frodo and Sam wander in, then, finding it occupied, leave quickly,
trying to pretend they were actually just going for a walk.
DV: Ahem. One of you is to be trained as my Padawan because I need a
challenge. And I need an extra to massage my feet.
HH and AK look at each other. Archie, knowing Horatio is the only one
who ever seems to get the girl in any episode, volunteers to train as
the Padawan. After all, a lightsaber has to be a great pulling tool,
hasn't it? And Horatio spent so much time kissing hid captain's feet
anyway, he really wasn't going to mind.
Just time for an Archie moment. I promise it will be short.
Maybe not.
Archie suddenly wondered of this was a good idea. After all, the Force
hadn't appeared to be very strong with him so far.
DV: (as if reading his mind) My dear Kennedy (and as if momentarily
turning into a much cleverer Horatio), I feel the Force is strong with
you. I'm glad you volunteered, because Hornblower has the Force about
as much as my pet goldfish has the ability to build and wield its own
lightsaber.
The goldfish, for his part, got insulted and choked Darth Sideous to
death with a Force grip. (which no-one even thought about as a
security risk. I mean, when did your goldfish last try to strangle
your boss?) Needless to say, its affinity with the force was fine, it
was just its aim that was s**t.
And so, Archie left to change into his black, and frankly very
flattering, Jedi robes and cut off his lovely long hair into a number
3 with a long braid. I cried. Not least because the Jedi Order forbids
any relationships with anyone as man and wife.
Horatio felt left out, so Vader relented and let him have his own Jedi
robes to wear whilst massaging his feet and posing around. He didn't
feel that he would be safe with a lightsaber.
Archie used the Force, Horatio hummed a lot. In a vacuum cleaner/F1
car type way whilst waving a plastic lightsaber around.
Honest.
This is my first ever ever ever fanfiction, so please review, even if
it's not good!
Yoda concentrated very hard, willing the Force to move time, space and the star of a certain popular TV series.
"Horatio Hornblower call must I."
Yoda got a shock. Apparently, Hornblower was not one man, but was in actual fact one man with another clinging to his ankle. The diminutive Jedi master moved forward to greet him/them, wondering if Kennedy ever did leave Hornblower alone for five minutes.
Horatio squinted down at Yoda (Have you ever wondered why he spends all that time with the telescope covering his eye, only to see absolutely nothing new? Short-sighted, methinks)
Kennedy sat up in surprise, having found himself at eye level with a very scrawny, hairy green knee. Yoda had discovered the joy of the Mini-robe, but had unfortunately not discovered Immac or razors at the same time.
Yoda: Welcome you are. HH: Kennedy, who is this? AK: My dear Horatio, this Yoda is. I his grammar have picked up.
(Kennedy, being the super observant, more gorgeous, more useful and better read of the pair, always had a good idea what was going on.)
Yoda: (smiles indulgently)(erm, how? Did he ever smile? Can you
imagine that at all?) Yes, Yoda I am. It's nice to see you, to see you
nice. (where the h**l did that come from?)
HH and AK look at each other as if "did you get that" I start to
explain, but Yoda's ears started to droop.
Darth Vader stood up, removing his hand from Yoda's arse. The puppet
falls limp to the floor.
DV: Good morning gentlemen. You.
Frodo and Sam wander in, then, finding it occupied, leave quickly,
trying to pretend they were actually just going for a walk.
DV: Ahem. One of you is to be trained as my Padawan because I need a
challenge. And I need an extra to massage my feet.
HH and AK look at each other. Archie, knowing Horatio is the only one
who ever seems to get the girl in any episode, volunteers to train as
the Padawan. After all, a lightsaber has to be a great pulling tool,
hasn't it? And Horatio spent so much time kissing hid captain's feet
anyway, he really wasn't going to mind.
Just time for an Archie moment. I promise it will be short.
Maybe not.
Archie suddenly wondered of this was a good idea. After all, the Force
hadn't appeared to be very strong with him so far.
DV: (as if reading his mind) My dear Kennedy (and as if momentarily
turning into a much cleverer Horatio), I feel the Force is strong with
you. I'm glad you volunteered, because Hornblower has the Force about
as much as my pet goldfish has the ability to build and wield its own
lightsaber.
The goldfish, for his part, got insulted and choked Darth Sideous to
death with a Force grip. (which no-one even thought about as a
security risk. I mean, when did your goldfish last try to strangle
your boss?) Needless to say, its affinity with the force was fine, it
was just its aim that was s**t.
And so, Archie left to change into his black, and frankly very
flattering, Jedi robes and cut off his lovely long hair into a number
3 with a long braid. I cried. Not least because the Jedi Order forbids
any relationships with anyone as man and wife.
Horatio felt left out, so Vader relented and let him have his own Jedi
robes to wear whilst massaging his feet and posing around. He didn't
feel that he would be safe with a lightsaber.
Archie used the Force, Horatio hummed a lot. In a vacuum cleaner/F1
car type way whilst waving a plastic lightsaber around.
Honest.
This is my first ever ever ever fanfiction, so please review, even if
it's not good!