For the first time, I found myself in an actual hurry. To run somewhere. To find someone. Xephos had showed up; breathing heavily and trying to tell me as urgently as possible that Sjin had ran away. He didn't know where. All he knew was that the bearded man had been very upset recently, and he had been a bit worried for him. Worried that he wasn't going to be okay. Terrified, to be completely honest, and hearing his flustered words, I became terrified as well.
It was so unlike him... To break down. To hide. But it was so like him to need me, and the spaceman knew that. He needed my help more than anyone else's to find him. Pushing past, I knew exactly where he would be. It was so very obvious. The only place in the whole of Minecraftia that was more of a home than the farm to him.
The old Sipsco compound.
Watered down, buried, and just a complete wreck, It seemed so long ago that he and I tried to start something there. We were happy, but things needed to change. Our outlook shifted only for our lives to shift dramatically as well. Things just happened one after another and in the end, we separated. It wasn't a happy separation either. I was rough on him. Shot him down before he could even begin to recover his happiness, and as my eyes spotted his figure standing at the top of the skyscraper, I realized the whole break down had certainly been caused by me.
Running faster, I managed to climb my way all the way to the top. Though it had reached the sky line before, it was bent and ruined. You could just walk on the side and look down into the dark abyss as he did. As he was.
I kept my distance, but I called out to him as softly as I could manage. Catching him off guard would not be ideal and as far as I could tell, he was not doing so well. "Sjin... "
His feet stood precariously at the edge. One foot forward and he would fall all the way down. The urge to grab him was overwhelming, but I stayed in place as he slowly turned to face me. His place not changing either. "Sips... Is that really you?"
"Of course it's me. I came to get you, Sjin." Holding out my hand, I offered it to him. "Come on. Everyone is worried."
His eyes looked down at my hand and then back at me; arms at his side and fingers firmly clasped, it was immediately obvious that he had no interest in taking it, "What if I don't want to go with you? Maybe I want to stay here."
"Then that's fine... I'm not going to make you go anywhere, but you should move away from the edge... It's dangerous."
His heels still matched the side. No space left between. Any inch given would be safer than none, but he wouldn't listen. "I'm not going to jump, Sips."
"Then step away from the edge, Sjin." There was clear desperation in my voice. My outstretched hand trembled in such a fragile situation. If I could have just felt secure enough to move closer without making him move back, I would have done so quickly and swiftly, but the empty look in his eyes suggested that treading carefully would be the best option.
He sighed, turning back round to look out at the abandoned compound. "This place reminds me of us, you know? Both so broken...What happened to us? What happened to this place? We built all of this...Only to let it fall apart. Fuck... Everything is so fucked up."
"Sjin." I stepped even closer, but still kept my movements as subtle as I could manage, "It just happens. Things change. People change. The whole world changed. We couldn't stay here anymore. And us... we... We just... No, I said goodbye. I thought it was time we try our separate ways."
"But why? Why did you tell me goodbye after everything I did for you? After I saved you?" His voice began trembling. It had been so calm before, but he was coming back into himself. "I thought you'd thank me... Hug me... Love me..."
My heart ached hearing his words of once quiet pain, but only because I knew that was how he felt. I knew perfectly well that while I stayed away, he kept me in his heart, drowning in misery. It was unavoidable and that has always killed me. "I... I am thankful to you, Sjin. I always have been, but you suffer because of me. Just look at you. Standing on the edge of some god forsaken ghost compound, crying your eyes out."
Tears fell and hit the ground as he looked at me with a waterfall streaming down his face. His eyes red and full of life, he sobbed to me, "But I was used to it. That's just who you are. You're rough and you push me around, but I still love you, because I know that deep down you could never truly hurt me. I was happy to be with you, no matter what. I thought I'd rescue you and we could start again, but then my heart... my heart was broken."
He gripped at his chest, and again I felt an ache in my heart. I knew that too. I've known it all for so long. "But I couldn't keep it up. When you finally rescued me, I saw the look on your face, the utter exhaustion you were under, and knew I needed to let you go. I never wanted to wear you down like that again. I never wanted you to have to almost kill yourself for me ever again. Never. I could never, ever forgive myself. You're too remarkable to be wasting your time on filth like me. So please, Sjin. Please. I know you're hurting. I know it all too well, but please... Please step down. I'm sorry. Please forgive me..."
I had said everything I could say. Told him the truth and broken down just like him and the ground beneath our feet. I didn't expect much. Only for him leave me, but he didn't. Of course he didn't. He finally stepped away from the edge. He finally smiled. Arms wrapped around my neck as he held me gently, he spoke to me softly, "I'm sorry too. I swear I would never dream of jumping. I was just sad and lonely. I just... I just..."
Breathing out, I wrapped my arms around him as tightly as I could, "That's enough. You've done enough. I just want to go. I just want to take you home."