A lesson in lemon.
Jack was busy reapplying his kohl for the umteenth time that day when a scream ripped through the air. Startled as he was, he almost dropped his little bronze mirror.
"Oh gods. Tell me those two aren't at it *again!" he finished applying his makeup carefully, then put away the mirror
"Three. Two.One." He counted down, the last syllable finishing at the same time as another scream rent the relatively still air. Suddenly, William Turner ran into his room.
"What?" Jack asked, before belatedly remembering that it was his turn to watch him. "Oh. shit." Was the best he could come up with.
"Jack, Jack, you've got to help me! Elizabeth's being killed!!" Young naïve Will yelled before grabbing Jack by the wrist and attempting to drag him out the door. Since Jack was a man twice his age and taller than Will, this should have been difficult, except that - as we all know - Captain Jack Sparrow moves with all the balance of an inebriated dog standing on one leg. He grabbed the doorframe with one hand and tugged, spilling Will onto the floor on top of him as well as he lost his balance.
"Jack, what are you doing?! Elizabeth - we've got to help Elizabeth!"
"Listen, lad, Elizabeth's not in any danger." Jack answered tiredly.
"What do you mean, 'not in any danger, I can hear her -" He paused as another scream echoed down the halls towards them. "Screaming." He finished.
"Well. Uh-Umm." Jack hedged, blushing slightly. He was lucky that Will simply mistook it for an alcohol flush.
"What? What's going on?"
"Uh. you know about the 'act of reproduction', Don't you?" Jack asked, somewhat pleadingly.
William Turner the second gave him a blank, if not downright confused look.
Kacl groaned. "Okay. well, you see. basically it happens like this. You've got. well - you aren't actually a eunuch, are you?" he asked hoping that the kid would get the drift.
"Ah, no Jack. What's that got to do with anything, though?" now he was just plain confused. "Ah.. Oh, hang on a moment." He covered Williams's ears. "Three. Two. One." Another scream was to be heard through the thin walls. Jack sighed and let go.
".Will, Get off my leg." He finally seemed to realise that they were still sprawled in the doorway. Will shifted off the esteemed, and probably insane, Captain's leg, but didn't get up.
"You were saying?" he asked.
Jack sighed. "I should have known that you weren't gunna let me off without an explanation. I wonder if you'd just get me off without an explanation." he mumbled.
"What?"
"Oh, ah, nothing, lad. Anyway, you put that" he gestured vaguely in the direction of the other's groin with one hand, accidentally slapping his thigh on the way. "Inside a woman. Um, below her stomach. and after a while, you end up with kids." He finished, very proud of himself for getting through the entire process with some small amount of grace.
"So what does the have to do with Elizabeth and why is she screaming?" He winced as one more scream drifted into their ears.
"Well, lad, that's what she's doing." Jack gesticulated with one hand while supporting himself on the other. Seemingly out of nowhere he produced a bottle of rum and took a swig.
"As to the screaming. this act produces a certain amount of. pleasure."
"Oh." was all William said. Jack sighed and offered him the bottle. He accepted and drank a (very) small amount of rum. "Then who's the man?."
Jack tensed again and sighed theatrically, letting his breath out in a frustrated wuff of air. "It's not a man, it's Anamaria. you know, my first mate?"
"But you said that-"
"I know what I said. Your," he snorted derisively. "Girlfriend has rather. peculiar tastes in lovers."
"Well, how does that work? And how can two girls make babies?" William asked still confused as hell.
"You see, lad, sometimes people don't want to make babies - a you put it - and just do it for the pleasure. and girls. well you'd probably have to ask them as I am obviously not a girl, but I suspect the just use their hands.or mouths." He shrugged as if it all made perfect sense. Which, in a way, it did.
"So what about men?" William asked curiously.
Jack put down the rum bottle and paused for a second, watching the thouroughly enthralled William with narrowed eyes. "Well now than is a different story completely. "he smiled. "Buy you'll have to come closer. I'm starting to strain my voice here."
William moved awkwardly, until he was so close he was almost in the esteemed, once more probably insane, Capitan's lap.
Jack kicked the door closed with one booted foot. "Do you really want to know the answer?" he purred, deep voice rumbling in his throat.
"Of course." William answered. The poor boy, he was so very, very naïve.
"Oh good." Jack pounced on the other man, teeth and hands helping to divest him of his upper cloths in short order.
William was too surprised to struggle. Finally, it sunk in at that he was in a very compromising position with captain jack sparrow on the floor of a dirty room somewhere in Tortuga. "Hey! What the hell do you think you're -OH. that feels nice. mmm." What was left of both his voice and his mind rambled off in a series of incoherent mumblings.
And he learned many things
Story by Yasmyn-chan-Yaoiamgod@yahoo.com Beta read by Tomiko-sama (^_^)-Watcha_ma_call_it@hotmail.com
Jack was busy reapplying his kohl for the umteenth time that day when a scream ripped through the air. Startled as he was, he almost dropped his little bronze mirror.
"Oh gods. Tell me those two aren't at it *again!" he finished applying his makeup carefully, then put away the mirror
"Three. Two.One." He counted down, the last syllable finishing at the same time as another scream rent the relatively still air. Suddenly, William Turner ran into his room.
"What?" Jack asked, before belatedly remembering that it was his turn to watch him. "Oh. shit." Was the best he could come up with.
"Jack, Jack, you've got to help me! Elizabeth's being killed!!" Young naïve Will yelled before grabbing Jack by the wrist and attempting to drag him out the door. Since Jack was a man twice his age and taller than Will, this should have been difficult, except that - as we all know - Captain Jack Sparrow moves with all the balance of an inebriated dog standing on one leg. He grabbed the doorframe with one hand and tugged, spilling Will onto the floor on top of him as well as he lost his balance.
"Jack, what are you doing?! Elizabeth - we've got to help Elizabeth!"
"Listen, lad, Elizabeth's not in any danger." Jack answered tiredly.
"What do you mean, 'not in any danger, I can hear her -" He paused as another scream echoed down the halls towards them. "Screaming." He finished.
"Well. Uh-Umm." Jack hedged, blushing slightly. He was lucky that Will simply mistook it for an alcohol flush.
"What? What's going on?"
"Uh. you know about the 'act of reproduction', Don't you?" Jack asked, somewhat pleadingly.
William Turner the second gave him a blank, if not downright confused look.
Kacl groaned. "Okay. well, you see. basically it happens like this. You've got. well - you aren't actually a eunuch, are you?" he asked hoping that the kid would get the drift.
"Ah, no Jack. What's that got to do with anything, though?" now he was just plain confused. "Ah.. Oh, hang on a moment." He covered Williams's ears. "Three. Two. One." Another scream was to be heard through the thin walls. Jack sighed and let go.
".Will, Get off my leg." He finally seemed to realise that they were still sprawled in the doorway. Will shifted off the esteemed, and probably insane, Captain's leg, but didn't get up.
"You were saying?" he asked.
Jack sighed. "I should have known that you weren't gunna let me off without an explanation. I wonder if you'd just get me off without an explanation." he mumbled.
"What?"
"Oh, ah, nothing, lad. Anyway, you put that" he gestured vaguely in the direction of the other's groin with one hand, accidentally slapping his thigh on the way. "Inside a woman. Um, below her stomach. and after a while, you end up with kids." He finished, very proud of himself for getting through the entire process with some small amount of grace.
"So what does the have to do with Elizabeth and why is she screaming?" He winced as one more scream drifted into their ears.
"Well, lad, that's what she's doing." Jack gesticulated with one hand while supporting himself on the other. Seemingly out of nowhere he produced a bottle of rum and took a swig.
"As to the screaming. this act produces a certain amount of. pleasure."
"Oh." was all William said. Jack sighed and offered him the bottle. He accepted and drank a (very) small amount of rum. "Then who's the man?."
Jack tensed again and sighed theatrically, letting his breath out in a frustrated wuff of air. "It's not a man, it's Anamaria. you know, my first mate?"
"But you said that-"
"I know what I said. Your," he snorted derisively. "Girlfriend has rather. peculiar tastes in lovers."
"Well, how does that work? And how can two girls make babies?" William asked still confused as hell.
"You see, lad, sometimes people don't want to make babies - a you put it - and just do it for the pleasure. and girls. well you'd probably have to ask them as I am obviously not a girl, but I suspect the just use their hands.or mouths." He shrugged as if it all made perfect sense. Which, in a way, it did.
"So what about men?" William asked curiously.
Jack put down the rum bottle and paused for a second, watching the thouroughly enthralled William with narrowed eyes. "Well now than is a different story completely. "he smiled. "Buy you'll have to come closer. I'm starting to strain my voice here."
William moved awkwardly, until he was so close he was almost in the esteemed, once more probably insane, Capitan's lap.
Jack kicked the door closed with one booted foot. "Do you really want to know the answer?" he purred, deep voice rumbling in his throat.
"Of course." William answered. The poor boy, he was so very, very naïve.
"Oh good." Jack pounced on the other man, teeth and hands helping to divest him of his upper cloths in short order.
William was too surprised to struggle. Finally, it sunk in at that he was in a very compromising position with captain jack sparrow on the floor of a dirty room somewhere in Tortuga. "Hey! What the hell do you think you're -OH. that feels nice. mmm." What was left of both his voice and his mind rambled off in a series of incoherent mumblings.
And he learned many things
Story by Yasmyn-chan-Yaoiamgod@yahoo.com Beta read by Tomiko-sama (^_^)-Watcha_ma_call_it@hotmail.com