Disclaimer: Seishirou and Setsuka Sakurazuka belongs to CLAMP and their partners in (crime) =P. Other characters and story sets belongs to me, or otherwise stated.
Warnings: Depressive, angst, dark, a death fic
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White X-Mas
C & P by G. Arnet Stone -aka- The Lady of the Night, 2000
God Rest Je Merry Gentlemen
Let's Nothing You Dismay
Remember Christ Our Savior
Was Born On X ' Mas Day
To Save Us All From Satan's Power
When We Were Gone Astray
O Tidings Of Comfort And Joy
(Comfort And Joy)
O Tidings Of Comfort And Joy
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Chapter I: (Intro) First Melody of the Dark Night
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Life is a very strange cycle and the soul is a fragile thing. Today you live with it, tomorrow... who knows?
...
23 December 1984,
The sky was getting dark, as I looked through the window, just like I thought earlier in the morning. Nobody knew I could predict when it would rain, what time and how long. It was a useless talent anyway. What good does it do if there's a weather station? The ability to understand, and maybe not.
I laughed to myself mentally, geez, thinking about the weather in a math class? I must be very bored.
Then I looked sideways, to a figure sleeping behind the open
laptop.
I sighed, *Sei-chan *
Then I noticed that the math teacher was walking towards our desks. *K'so, Sei-chan will be in a deep shit if I don't wake him up.
But suddenly he stood up and cried out hysterically. After he snapped out, he sat down again as if nothing happen.
The other students were laughing at him, they thought that was funny.
I didn't.
"Mr. Sakurazuka! I will see you in the office after class! Hear me?"
"Hai sensei," said Seishirou solemnly. I don't know why, but something in his voice made me shiver. So cold and empty.
It reminded me of...I shook my head, I _don't _ want to remember. Remembering things sometimes make me scared.
...
I watched his figure as he walked past me. Didn't greet me, didn't stop, didn't even look at me as if I'm not there or I'm just a thing. Am I just a thing to you Sei-chan?
I leaned against the cold wall and watched him until he was out of sight. One year, one damned hell of a year, he was lost to me as I was lost to him. What made him like that? He was a heartless bastard, I know, but he never treated me like this. I hate being ignored. I hate it!
The night I lost him, was the night his mother died.
I closed my eyes, the picture sharp and clear in my mind as if it happened only yesterday.
Setsuka was lying on cold snow, under the camellia and sakura tree. There was blood on the snow, and there was a trace of cherry blossoms. A very strange thing happened in December, one year ago. And I saw Sei-chan standing and staring at blankly his mother's corpse. I caught a glimpse of his eyes...so cold as if the death of her mother somehow robbed his soul.
I opened my eyes. What happened after that? What happened? I can't remember. I _don't _ want to remember. Remembering makes me scared.
Someone nudged me from behind, breaking my reverie. I turned, "Oh, it is you, Alexia-san."
"Yue-chan, how many time did I tell you, just CALL me A-chan, A...with -chan, not -san!" she said.
I laughed, I knew about that, but I just like to tease her.
She pouted, "You know I don't like my best friends calling me that, it makes us look like strangers, with the capital S."
"Okay...okay," I winked at her, "A-chan."
"Why are you still here? You don't have club activities like the rest of us right?" asked Alexia as we walked down the hall to the main gate.
I looked at her and smiled, a sad-secretive-smile, "No...I Just want to hang around for a while."
"Just...?" Alexia was about to ask more when a thundering sound flared. "Damn! Rain! Did you bring an umbrella Yue-chan?"
I nodded tentatively.
Alexia muttered, "How could it rain when the weather station said today was clear."
I didn't say anything, just looked at the gray mist, *Veil of the sky. Dark and lonely, like me?* I turned around, realizing that Alexia was looking at me.
"Daijobu ka?" asked Alexia. "I want to borrow an umbrella from the school staff. Can I leave you alone?"
I smiled, "Daijobu, A-chan. You just go and I'll wait for you here."
She left after she was that sure I was okay.
In the next second, the reverie was back in me again. Every time I was alone I felt the cold and the hurt clutching me deeper and deeper in the center core of my soul, gripping my heart.
Partly because my best friend was lost in his own world. I couldn't go in, I couldn't back on it either.
I knew perfectly too that Seishirou was always having a nightmare of whatever was haunting him. Every night, I heard his terrified voice. He was, after all, living beside my apartment. I looked at his window from my bedroom sometimes, and couldn't help but to shiver, his howls were like the howl of death.
I wanted to chase away his nightmares, to ease the pain, if he could feel the pain, which I doubted. I know he was haunted by the dreams, but don't feel anything, ne, Sei-chan? Maybe for all these years of 'friendship' (in a weird way), I didn't know much about him. But I know one thing he has in common with me, we never let anyone, who ever he or she is, to know about us. The difference between us was that I could still feel the pain.
I looked at the sky again. I didn't realize that my tears were trailing down my cheeks as I mumbled a song I once knew, long time ago.
[ Floating In My Dreams
In The Mist of Time
Drifting On the River Flow
Unknown Journey
Once I Knew
Yet, I Never Ever Reach the End
Go Gently Now
With The Wind on the Cherry Blossoms
Go Gently Now
With The Flame of the Roses
No Need To Worry, My Dear, My Love
No Need To worry...My Angel
Closed the Eyes of the Wanderer
Sleep and Remember On the Sparkling Stars
Rocked By the Elusive Streams
Sleep and Remember On A Silvery Moon
This Lullaby
Sleep and Remember On the Golden Sun
This Song
Never Be Sad Anymore ](1)
I wiped out my tears. When did I learn to sing that song? I knew it, yet I didn't. Someone sang that song before, someone... When was that? NO! I _don't _ want to remember!
I shuddered, three times... three times already I said that. In a short length of time too. Suddenly I shivered, I felt like I knew something bad would happen. I...
"Yue-chan!"
Alexia was waving at me, seemed worried. I smiled at her, "Hai, A-chan?"
She stood in front of me, her eyes glimmered with worry, "Are you _sure _ you are okay?"
"Hai, I'm sure, A-chan." I gave her my best happy-imitation smile, despite what I felt.
Alexia seemed to doubt me, but said nothing; she knew me well enough not to ask just by looking at my face.
She nodded, "Okay." She opened her umbrella. "We should go home."
I took mine and opened it. "Hai."
The two of us walked in the rain and went home.
...
"Oh God...Not again."
He dropped his bag and threw himself onto the bed. His head was throbbing with pain. * Stop it, please!!* He whimpered. "No..NOo!!!! * And everything went black.
A few minutes later he rose and went to the window. Staring at the night sky, he sneered, " There's no moon tonight."
The sky was dark with clouds, and it began to snow. In the dim light of his room, his shadow on the wall moved sideways.
He lifted one hand. A shadow-shaped bird, an Eagle form, perched on his hand's shadow. "Even the Sakura is white in this time of year," he whispered to it. "But not tonight, heck, not tonight." He smiled wickedly. A windy Sakura whirled in the wind, and he vanished into thin air. The petals flew out from the window and went to the sky.
...
[A scream in the night.]
His hands were folding her arm in the back. Hurting every part of her soul. A small evil smile and a gentle devil laugh on his lips to his prey. She struggled hard and yanked herself from his mockery. She ran away in the cold-lonely alley, panting and searching for help. But, who wanted to wander in a dark alley in a time like this?
[A lyrical spell chanted.]
A shadow-form shaped eagle landed on his shoulder. Another cast spell and it flew to its prey.
[Another scream.]
The shadowy eagle was attacking the poor woman and ripping her chest.
[Another silence.]
The Sakura petals and snowdrifts danced around with the wind.
[A quiet, cold laugh upon his lips.]
The snow was falling down from the night sky. *The tears of Heaven * was falling down to a pool of blood. A body was lying there, bathed with red, white, and Sakura petals.
...
I woke up, gasping for air, and I felt my chest hurt. *It 's only a dream, It's a dream, it's only a dream, right?* I gathered myself and held tightly. *Sei would never...*
...
"Yue-chan, did you hear? Someone was murdered last night."
"Who?"
"The math teacher."
"What??"
- [ Tsuzuku ] -
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What? Sei-chan can't kill properly this time *rolls eyes*
Seishirou: Heeeyyy, it's your fault, /YOU/ wrote it!
So? It's my power as the author! *maniacal-evilish laughters* Besides, you're a newbie!
Seishirou: .....*sighs*
This one is my second fic, so excuse any mistakes. Finally finished *whew* it's been hangin in my head since 1998 Christmas for God's sake. I re-wrote all over again after I read the translation of Seishirou's character file, my he got a weird song. Oh wouldn't it be soooooo cute to see Seishirou in this fic when he was 15/16? Kawaaiiiii *pinch 15/16 years old Seishisrou*
Seishirou: Yawwww, hey watch it girl!
*Stick out tongue*
Anyway,
Chapter I
(1) the song/poem is titled "Angel's Lullaby" C &
P by G. Arnet, 300399
2. Finished White X Mas, chapter 1: 040899
Credits: to Silver Pen ML. My thanks specially goes to Cleo Tan & to Alec R (-aka- P-chan ^^) for editing all 3 chapters and for Isman for giving various comments. I would like to thank Kristin Huntsman because her story "TB:Sounds" inspired this fic *bows*
Thank you for reading this fic so far.
R & R + C & C please, domo-arigato
L,
The Lady of the Night
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A single eternal rose is such a deadly beautiful flower.
Red like blood, frail like a thousand shattered glass of dreams.
Such rare exotic beauty exists only to be cursed and damned forever.
Frozen in eternal beauty.
http://LuneNautique.net