Disclaimer: This is sort-of a conversation I had with God. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. ;) Oh, and for those who know, Dave is NOT that Dave, I just didn't feel like using Fluffy.
Disclaimer 2: Okay, two people have brought this to my attention and I think it's time I set the record straight. 'Christian' does NOT, I repeat NOT exclude Jews. By Christian, I mean someone who believes Jesus is the Christ and died for our sins and rose again on the third day. He can be Jewish, he just has to believe in Jesus as his Savior. So please stop yelling at me, I meant no offense to anyone.
Me: sigh. Yet another Friday night alone.
God: You're not alone, I'm right here.
Me: I wish I had a boyfriend!
God: I know you do, but you're not ready for one yet.
Me: Why do all the other girls get the guys they want? It's not fair!
God: That's not true.
Me: Dave is so perfect! Why does he have to like Sarah?
God: Nobody is perfect except for me.
Me: I wish he was my boyfriend.
God: No you don't, and if you would just listen to me I would tell you why.
Me: God? Is that you?
God: Of course.
Me: Did you just say what I think you said?
God: Yes I did.
Me: But you weren't serious, right? I mean, why wouldn't I want Dave as my boyfriend? He's wonderful!
God: Well, that's has nothing to do with anything. If you're willing to listen, I'll explain.
Me: sigh. Alright, I'm listening.
God: Good. Now I know you like Dave a lot, and that you want you a boyfriend really bad, but you're just not ready for them yet.
Me: Them? Yet? You mean eventually...
God: No, I didn't say that. Dave may be the one I have for you, and he may not, but that's not what we're talking about.
Me: Oh. It's not?
God: No. We're talking about why you can't have a boyfriend just yet.
Me: Oh.
God: May I continue?
Me: Yea.
God: Alright. Now, for one thing, you are way to young. You are only fifteen. You have a long road ahead of you.
Me: I know, but it's just that-
God: You didn't let me finish.
Me: Okay, I'm sorry.
God: That's okay, I forgive. Now, it's not just looking at the age factor, there are other things to consider as well. Are you spiritually ready for a relationship with a guy? How about emotionally? And what about your future? How do you know that having a boyfriend is part of what I have planned for you?
Me: Wow, I never thought of it that way.
God: I know you didn't, that's why I told you.
Me: Boy, now I'm really confused.
God: That's why I'm here.
Me: Right. Okay, un-confuse me.
God: Right. Step One: Is your relationship with me where you would like it to be?
Me: Well, uh...
God: I'm waiting.
Me: No, it isn't.
God: Okay, so wouldn't rather work on our relationship before starting one with a boy?
Me: Well yea.
God: Alright, that was Step One. Now Step Two: Like I already said before, you are only fifteen. Are you really ready for such a relationship? Remember, marriage is a precious thing to me and should not be taken lightly. Dating is just a prelude to marriage, and should not be taken lightly either.
Me: Good point. I do want to be older when I start dating, but I just want a boyfriend so bad!
God: I know, we'll get to that, don't worry. Now for Step Three: How do you know that is what I have planned for you? What if I want you to remain single?
Me: WHAT?! ME?! SINGLE?! You've got to be kidding.
God: Nope, I'm serious. You never know.
Me: Well, yea, but I just never thought of that.
God: It is a possibility.
Me: I don't know what to say.
God: Yes you do, just think.
Me: Well, you know what is best for me, so I guess I would just have to trust your judgement.
God: Wise answer.
Me: But you're not really gonna make me single, are you?
God: Don't you trust me?
Me: Of course.
God: Then why do you ask?
Me: Because- oh nevermind.
God: Don't worry child. Remember, I know what you need, and I will supply all your needs.
Me: Gotcha.
God: Now, as for your desire for a boyfriend, there is nothing wrong with that. I made you that way. It is human nature to be attracted to the opposite sex.
Me: Amen to that.
God: But it is all about timing. You have to trust that I know when it is best to introduce the one I have for you into your life.
Me: Patience is a virtue, right?
God: More like a fruit of the Spirit, but virtue works too.
Me: Right. So, I guess I need to ease off the hormones, huh?
God: Not necessarily. It's good that you're attracted to guys, just don't obsess over them and don't be attracted to them for the wrong reasons.
Me: Wrong reasons?
God: Yes. Are the things you like for in a guy good or bad?
Me: Well, let's see. He HAS to be a Christian.
God: Nice way to start.
Me: Thank you. He also needs a sense of humor and is fun to be around. But he also has to know when to behave. He has to respect people for who they are and not make fun of people because they are different. He'll respect me for me and will never do anything I don't want to. He'll respect my goals and help me achieve them. Also, he has to be sweet and caring. He'll always be there when I need him, and will love me no matter what. He won't mind when I'm in a strange mood, and he won't be afraid to defend me or sympathize with me. He has to respect himself and be confident in who he is in Christ. He'll know what I like and what I dislike, and he'll be my number one fan.
God: Sounds good, except for one thing.
Me: What's that?
God: I'm your number one fan.
Me: No competition there. He'll be my number two fan then.
God: There you go.
Me: So, am I okay?
God: I think you have chosen your standards well. As long as you and he love each other as much as you love me, you will be fine. Keep your focus on me, and you will not lose perspective. And never, ever, lower your expectations. If you don't respect yourself, no one else will respect you.
Me: Okay, I'll remember that.
God: Do you feel better now?
Me: Yes, thank you Father.
God: Anytime my child.
Disclaimer 2: Okay, two people have brought this to my attention and I think it's time I set the record straight. 'Christian' does NOT, I repeat NOT exclude Jews. By Christian, I mean someone who believes Jesus is the Christ and died for our sins and rose again on the third day. He can be Jewish, he just has to believe in Jesus as his Savior. So please stop yelling at me, I meant no offense to anyone.
Me: sigh. Yet another Friday night alone.
God: You're not alone, I'm right here.
Me: I wish I had a boyfriend!
God: I know you do, but you're not ready for one yet.
Me: Why do all the other girls get the guys they want? It's not fair!
God: That's not true.
Me: Dave is so perfect! Why does he have to like Sarah?
God: Nobody is perfect except for me.
Me: I wish he was my boyfriend.
God: No you don't, and if you would just listen to me I would tell you why.
Me: God? Is that you?
God: Of course.
Me: Did you just say what I think you said?
God: Yes I did.
Me: But you weren't serious, right? I mean, why wouldn't I want Dave as my boyfriend? He's wonderful!
God: Well, that's has nothing to do with anything. If you're willing to listen, I'll explain.
Me: sigh. Alright, I'm listening.
God: Good. Now I know you like Dave a lot, and that you want you a boyfriend really bad, but you're just not ready for them yet.
Me: Them? Yet? You mean eventually...
God: No, I didn't say that. Dave may be the one I have for you, and he may not, but that's not what we're talking about.
Me: Oh. It's not?
God: No. We're talking about why you can't have a boyfriend just yet.
Me: Oh.
God: May I continue?
Me: Yea.
God: Alright. Now, for one thing, you are way to young. You are only fifteen. You have a long road ahead of you.
Me: I know, but it's just that-
God: You didn't let me finish.
Me: Okay, I'm sorry.
God: That's okay, I forgive. Now, it's not just looking at the age factor, there are other things to consider as well. Are you spiritually ready for a relationship with a guy? How about emotionally? And what about your future? How do you know that having a boyfriend is part of what I have planned for you?
Me: Wow, I never thought of it that way.
God: I know you didn't, that's why I told you.
Me: Boy, now I'm really confused.
God: That's why I'm here.
Me: Right. Okay, un-confuse me.
God: Right. Step One: Is your relationship with me where you would like it to be?
Me: Well, uh...
God: I'm waiting.
Me: No, it isn't.
God: Okay, so wouldn't rather work on our relationship before starting one with a boy?
Me: Well yea.
God: Alright, that was Step One. Now Step Two: Like I already said before, you are only fifteen. Are you really ready for such a relationship? Remember, marriage is a precious thing to me and should not be taken lightly. Dating is just a prelude to marriage, and should not be taken lightly either.
Me: Good point. I do want to be older when I start dating, but I just want a boyfriend so bad!
God: I know, we'll get to that, don't worry. Now for Step Three: How do you know that is what I have planned for you? What if I want you to remain single?
Me: WHAT?! ME?! SINGLE?! You've got to be kidding.
God: Nope, I'm serious. You never know.
Me: Well, yea, but I just never thought of that.
God: It is a possibility.
Me: I don't know what to say.
God: Yes you do, just think.
Me: Well, you know what is best for me, so I guess I would just have to trust your judgement.
God: Wise answer.
Me: But you're not really gonna make me single, are you?
God: Don't you trust me?
Me: Of course.
God: Then why do you ask?
Me: Because- oh nevermind.
God: Don't worry child. Remember, I know what you need, and I will supply all your needs.
Me: Gotcha.
God: Now, as for your desire for a boyfriend, there is nothing wrong with that. I made you that way. It is human nature to be attracted to the opposite sex.
Me: Amen to that.
God: But it is all about timing. You have to trust that I know when it is best to introduce the one I have for you into your life.
Me: Patience is a virtue, right?
God: More like a fruit of the Spirit, but virtue works too.
Me: Right. So, I guess I need to ease off the hormones, huh?
God: Not necessarily. It's good that you're attracted to guys, just don't obsess over them and don't be attracted to them for the wrong reasons.
Me: Wrong reasons?
God: Yes. Are the things you like for in a guy good or bad?
Me: Well, let's see. He HAS to be a Christian.
God: Nice way to start.
Me: Thank you. He also needs a sense of humor and is fun to be around. But he also has to know when to behave. He has to respect people for who they are and not make fun of people because they are different. He'll respect me for me and will never do anything I don't want to. He'll respect my goals and help me achieve them. Also, he has to be sweet and caring. He'll always be there when I need him, and will love me no matter what. He won't mind when I'm in a strange mood, and he won't be afraid to defend me or sympathize with me. He has to respect himself and be confident in who he is in Christ. He'll know what I like and what I dislike, and he'll be my number one fan.
God: Sounds good, except for one thing.
Me: What's that?
God: I'm your number one fan.
Me: No competition there. He'll be my number two fan then.
God: There you go.
Me: So, am I okay?
God: I think you have chosen your standards well. As long as you and he love each other as much as you love me, you will be fine. Keep your focus on me, and you will not lose perspective. And never, ever, lower your expectations. If you don't respect yourself, no one else will respect you.
Me: Okay, I'll remember that.
God: Do you feel better now?
Me: Yes, thank you Father.
God: Anytime my child.