She'd only meant to step out of the room for just a moment. They'd been at it for over an hour now, Castle's fingers tapping away at the keys, knitting together a story with his words as she looked on, his ever-faithful partner. She'd been his beta reader on things before now with little Nikki Heat snippets, but she'd never realized until they started this venture together just how much work the writing process could be. It was more difficult now, of course, but they went into it as they did with everything else—partners, an inseparable team.
And she'd meant to keep it that way. She had. She'd only intended to step out and grab them a refill of coffee, with every intent on returning to his side with the steaming mugs promptly. Only, as she sat there waiting for the pot to reheat, the wave of exhaustion finally hit her body in full force. She was drained, physically, mentally, emotionally. Her body had been exceeding its limitations for so long now, and she realized that it wouldn't be long before it started catching up with her. She couldn't keep going like this. But then, he couldn't do this without her, either.
That thought made her feel worse. Sitting there, watching the steam on the pot of coffee lift into the air, she felt guilty. Here she was, hiding out in the kitchen because she couldn't handle it. Handle him. How could she possibly feel that way? How could her problems even compare to what he'd been through? What he was still going through all these months later?
She twisted the wedding ring round and round on her finger, then glanced back toward the office. A steady clack-clack of keys resounded from beyond the bookshelf walls.
What right did she have to complain? How could she run from her husband when he needed her now more than ever?
He'd been adamant about telling her that her feelings mattered just as much as his did. He always asked how she was, or if she was doing okay. If she needed a break, or wanted to take a lazy day, go do something that took them away from the day-to-day. He'd say, "I know how hard this is for you," and then apologize for being so needy.
She hated it. Hated that he would feel bad for her, for feeling guilty about wanting her to be there with him, for needing her the way he did. When she said her vows, when she let him put that ring on her finger, it was because she'd made a promise to be in it. In this. For better or worse, in sickness and in health. Whatever happened next, whatever the obstacle stood in their way, she'd be with him every step of the way.
She knew he didn't want her overdoing it, but she was his wife. This was their life now, and she didn't know any other way than to put all of herself into it.
Besides, things were better now. It took a lot of blood, sweat, and tears, and a lot of adjusting over the last few months to get to where they were today, but they'd accomplished so much since then, and although every day was still a battle, it had gotten easier. She'd be lying if she said she didn't long every day for the way things were before though. They'd gone to the justice of the peace when they'd gotten married, not wanting to wait a minute longer to be husband and wife, but he promised her that they'd have their dream wedding. One where he'd be able to see her in her dress, walking down the aisle to him on her father's arm, flashing him a joyful smile while they renewed their vows in front of their friends and family. They'd both cry, and wipe each other's tears, they'd hear the jubilant laughter as they threw cake at one another during the reception, and then they'd sway to the music as the DJ played their song.
She didn't need it anymore, their perfect day. But she wanted it for him. Because if it happened, if they finally got their big, fairytale wedding, it meant that—
"Kate, are you there?" Castle's voice called out to her from the office, then much louder, "Kate?"
Snapping from her reverie, she quickly poured them two mugs of coffee, hastily stirring in the vanilla cream, then hurried back into the room. Setting the coffees down on the desk beside his laptop, she swept a soothing hand across his shoulder blade.
"I didn't know you'd left the room," he said quietly, his posture relaxing.
"Sorry," she said inanely, drumming her fingers along his shoulder before drawing them up to his neck, massaging gently.
"Can you check my work real quick? I think I messed up on a line."
Resting her cheek against his, she scanned over the document on the screen, scrolling back to where he'd been when she'd left him, and reading what he'd written since then. His words always managed to tug at her heartstrings as of late, given the content, and this time was no exception.
"Nope, you're good," she said, after finishing, tapping her fingers along his shoulder again as she brushed her lips across his cheek. He sighed in response.
"We can stop for today, if it's too much," he murmured, regret lacing his words. "I know you're-"
"No," she replied, then wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers caressing gently along his throat. "This is good for you. I want you to keep at it."
"Okay." He drew his hand up to her face, his fingers brushing along her soft skin and pushing the hair back behind her ears. He tipped her chin up slightly with his fingers, angling her mouth for a kiss. She returned it eagerly.
"But if it becomes too much," he said as their lips parted, "you'll let me know?"
She didn't reply, just nodded her head once, her nose brushing up and down along his cheek.
Turning in his chair, Castle ran his hands up along her body, then back down to her hips, pulling her down gently into his lap. She dropped down easily, a knee on either side of his thighs, and set her forehead to his as his fingers drew indiscernible shapes along her spine. He kissed her cheekbone lightly, then rested against her with a sigh.
"I miss you," he said then, his unfocused blue eyes looking past her. "Seeing your smile, hearing your voice. God, Kate. I miss it so much."
She was past the point now of trying to promise him that it will all come back someday. His sight, his hearing. That they'll get their fairytale ending. The doctors were still optimistic, and he had gotten some minimal amounts of the senses back, but it still wasn't where he wanted to be. Where they want to be. But she'll be here. She'll stand by her husband.
Lacing their fingers together, Kate pulled their hands up to her mouth, her lips pressing soft kisses around the band on his finger.
For better or worse, in sickness and in health. That's how the vows go, isn't it?
Plot bunny I couldn't get out of my head recently. This might be the start of something more eventually since it reads more as a prologue, but I'm marking as complete for now. I wrote this with the end of season six in mind, though not necessarily as a post-ep or speculation fic. Could probably be inserted any number of places late S6 to early S7.