Disclaimer: Card captor Sakura was owned by Clamp, Kodensha and many people with privileges
and rights so all credits and apologies to them. I'm only a beginner so please be kind.

Tsuki no Uta - Moon song By Valkyrie

Part 1: The Sadness

I've tried so hard and got so far

In the end it doesn't even matter

I had to fall to lose it all

In the end it doesn't even matter

~ Linkin Park~

"Tomoyo-chan, can I have a word with you?"

Kinomoto Sakura, in her winter uniform approached to her friend desk looking rather serious. Yes..serious.. or maybe even painful..Tomoyo thought to herself,so the time has come. and she sighed, followed her inhaled was a smile, the usual smile she could mastered.

"Ofcorse, Sakura-chan. The rooftop perhaps? It's a private matter,isn't it?"

Sakura blinked then nod, hanging her head down still when she answered

"Ye...Yes."

And Tomoyo just smile.....

"Well, shall we go."

Slowly as they walked toward the stairs.Not even one word escaped the two girl. Thourgh the busy crowd of their fellow students they went,classes they passed, Sakura couldn't utter a sound. And for Tomoyo,each step they took to the school's rooftop,her heart would crumble.

They both know what this is all about.

Reaching their destination, Sakura went in and Tomoyo quietly shut the door behind .While winter breeze sweeped around them from side-to-side, silence continued to take over.

Until....

"It's rather chilling isn't it, snow will properly arrive in a month or so......"Tomoyo decided that she should be the one to break this uneasiness.For Sakura's sake, for her sake.

" Tomoyo-chan....." Sakura began slowly, trying her best to hide her shaking voice."S..Syaoran-kun is back from Hong-kong."

Tomoyo's eyes widen a little but soon soften with understand."So.. the rumor was true."

"Rumors?" Curiosity she senses in Sakura. So she doesn't know.Li-kun surely did a great job at making this a surprise for her.How sweet.She smiled..bitteredly.

"About a Chinese transferred student.It was quite a topic around here especially this school, all the girls was swooning over this 'Foreign -Prince'. "

"Fo..Foriegn Prince!!Hoee??"Sakura blushed, never thought that her Syaoran would become popular so quickly.Tomoyo chuckled She's so cute when she's confused.

"Well, since he's 'charming', 'rich', 'quiet' and ofcorse 'came back from Hong kong to search for his childhood sweetheart in Japan', it could be none other than Li-kun,ne?"

Now Sakura turned crimson childhood sweetheart and she suddenly remembered this recent morning when she met him...."Please tomoyo-chan,don't tease me .."

EventoughTomoyo would prefer to tease her some more and watch the cute expression she adores most, she know that this is not what Sakura asked her to talk about.

So she asked her...she had to....

"Why are you telling me this ..Sakura-chan..I mean why does it have to be private?What exactly do you want to talk to me about?"

Sakura startled at her best friend's question.

"Why?" Tomoyo repeated, quite firmly.She had to,even it'll tare her apart...she had to..

"Why? Sakura-chan."

To confirmed that what she thought is correct, to be sure that...........

" Because I know that you love me..."

She knows. Tomoyo was aware for quite some time that Sakura had finally figured out her deepest secret, her hidden feeling for the Cardcaptor.She doesn't know when and how or neither how long.It doesn't matter, as long as she knows.But still, having Sakura-chan knew and returned her feeling wouldn't hurt much. It's just...

"But I love Syoran-kun"

Ended that tears welled up in Sakura 's swollen face.Tomoyo was shock..She should be the one shedding tears but now it turns out that her Sakura is the one wasting them.She just can't bare this...the last thing she ever wish is Sakura-chan crying. She wanted to cry at that thought but she know... crying won't help NOW.

So again she smile...

She contained her own broken heart and gathered sakura in her arms gently.In her warm embrace,she could hear Sakura murmured "I'm sorry...Tomoyo-chan" repeatedly from time to time.

"Sakura-chan..Shhh. please don't cry and please.. don't apologize either..it's not your fault."

Then she paused,all she needed is one more last strength in her."You can't control peoples' hearts nor your own.These things are natural.It's not fair to blame anyone if someone gets hurt..and ..and I know that you never meant to hurt me so please..."

Somehow that didn't seem to work.Sakura burst into crying harder and Tomoyo shook her head..Then let's put it this way......

"Besides..." She said steadying her tone to calm.."I kind of given it up since we started junior high school"

Sakura gasped a little.She lifted her face up and despite her fresh tears,Tomoyo saw disbelief written all over it.

"I mean really!!Sakura-chan. I admit feeling something strong for you when I was ten but it faded slowly when we grew up..maybe I inherited this from my mother.You know, she was very fond of Nedeshiko- san when she's little but eventually she end up with someone else..I guess that goes for me too!"She forced to giggled.Trying her best to ignore the tiny piece in her mind scolding 'Yeah right!And even a divorce after that your mom still can't forget about her mother!!!'.

Sakura sniffed and stared at her...she didn't say a thing so Tomoyo just pulled her to hug again for the last time"Believe me Sakura-chan, If you ask me now, I think 'friendship' is way beyond that and I'm truly happy for you and Li-kun"

After a while Sakura pushed Tomoyo off slightly. Rubbing her clouded eyes.She returned her friend's soothing with a smile, almost a grin and the world was so much more alive.

"I believe you Tomoyo-chan and I'm not blaming myself anymore. I guess I'm alright now.."

"That's nice to hear, and please remember one thing,okay? If you and Li-kun ever had a wedding please let me have the honor of designing you outfit and taping the moment, promise?"

"Hoeeeeeee!!!"

"Well, I wouldn't miss it for the world you know...after all you're the world most powerful card misstress,you're wedding must be memorable for eternity!Oh my god your dress..It have to be the most elegant dress on earth that add your beauty and cuteness!! Ah I can't wait..It's like the sketch is already on my head ahhhh!!"

"Tomoyo-chan...."

Suddenly the bell rang.....

"It's passed the break.The next class will begin soon"Sakura ran to the door and turned to smiled at Tomoyo "Hurry !Tomoyo-chan.We'll be late!"

Tomoyo smiled, this time her heart lighten with relief

It's worthed..for her smile...everything is worth the cost

"Then let's head back.We wouldn't want to keep the teacher waiting,ne?"

Hand in hand they walk back to class.



Later that afternoon, Sakura and Tomoyo walked out together to find a familiar face waiting patiently at the front gate.

"Syaoran!!" Sakura exclaimed cheerfully,surprised to see him here..was he waiting for her?

He's pleased to the eyes.Tomoyo can easily pointed out, wearing his casual outfit which seem to be pretty appealing to all the young girls passing by. Tomoyo could only giggled and whispered in Sakura's ears.

" You see what I mean? You better keep an eye on him, Sakura- chan."

Sakura blushed wildly after until they faced with the chesnut-haired boy. Tomoyo bowed to him slowly, keeping her usual accomtomized attitude up gracefully.

" Okaerinasai, Li-kun.." To see that he seem not to regonize her yet.

" Um...Hai...Uh..Huh..That long hair...Daidoji?!Daidoji Tomoyo..Is that really you?Wow, you've grown big.."

" You too, Li-kun.Good to see you again..it's been quite a long time.."

" Yeah..long indeed. It's nice to be back."

Tomoyo smiled at him tenderly...With closer look, he suites all those rumors she'd heard about him.....even more.He's so right for my perfect Sakura-chan. She's happy to see her best friend luckiness and yet it hurts...It hurts all the same.

"So what are you doing here, Syaoran? I thought school starts next week for you."

"I was just passing by....so I figured that.."

"Passing by,eh? Was it such a coincident or you're deliberately here to pick up some cherry blossom"

"Tomoyo-chan![Daidoji]!!" The couple winced in embarrassment. Tomoyo would only laughed merrily These two is so fun to push around she comment to herself ,it felt like old time but she know that it's not the same now, can never be again since....Oh well

She watched the two lovebird in silence then. How they talk to each other. The way they exchange looks Yes,indeed.Definately in love.Only the picture made her pain run deeper and deeper. They're so...match.Meant to be that it's killing her.She has to get out of here,be gone off this atmosphere before......

Besides, They're parted for so long and they need quality time together.

They needed to be alone, I need to be alone,to be lonesom,not just that loneliness she always felt, but to be truly alone so.......

"Tomoyo-chan, Syaoran and I are thinking to head for some ice scream in town,would you like to join us ?"

"I'd love to Sakura-chan but unfortunately I have to head home, my mother was expecting me early today." She pray to god Sakura wouldn't caught her lying...she was a terrible liar and she hates to lie especially with Sakura but this day and this moment..she throw her merit away.

"Oh...in that case then maybe some other time..okay?promise?!!"

"'Promise. And thank you so much for the offering.I'll see you later, Sakura-chan, you too Li-kun."

"Um...O.k"

"Ja ne! Tomoyo- chan" And they strolled down the road together.Sakura bid her finalwave and Syaoran bowed politely .Then they disappeared and Tomoyo was alone.

At last. She thought, coaxing her head from left to right .Identify where she was and where she will be next. The Penguin - King Park?Perfect. I guess I'll stay here for a while ..she decided.Then walked directly to the swinging and swinged it slowly.

Home could make nothing better, with too much space for her alone and noone was there to comfort her.The park may be unoccupied right now but still..despite the quietness,it has a great sight to look at, much plesurable than her giant empty room.Since the place held many good memories with Sakura.

Sakura. Tip-toe to push herself higher a bit, she thought of Sakura and the event that took place so recently.She closed her eyes and open them to stared at the sunset sky. I 've tried to do this all day.So it isn't a dream...or else I'll be in my bed..it's real ..afterall...

Sakura-chan knew how I felt, she knew it all along and still..

"I love Syaoran-kun.."

Ofcorse. Tomoyo sighed,She loved Syaoran-kun. She keep saying this to herself over and over.She thought she was ready and sort of prepare for it.

I supported the pair,didn't I?....Talk about bringing something upon yourself...

Syaoran loves Sakura. And Sakura will love Syaoran in return. She knew it. Sometime she cursed the habit of her.Those knowledgeable gifts she processed. If she doesn't knew all of this from the beginning,maybe she'll hurt less.

No..no.. I should not feel pain..She's happy,isn't she ? That should be enough..

Her happiness is my happiness.Yeah, I should be happy..I should just smile.

Smlie.Like always.

Smile.

And finally..Tomoyo cry...She cry like there's no tomorrow..like she never cry in her entire life....she cry.

Her most fearful nightmare came true and she never thought it'll hurt more than a dream .......... like this.........

To be continued......

Japanese translation: Okaerinasai -welcome back
Ja ne- see you later

Note: Wow I'm finished! Never thought it'll be so hard!Sorry to keep you bored, this chapter
was kind of Tomoyo self- reflex,ne? Well it is a 'dramatic' fiction and I intend to keep it
dark but not TOO dark ofcorse so thing will lighten up as th story roll by. It's just
the beginning and this first chapter was only to show how much pain our heroin is going
through.Talking about expressing pain of loosing love, Utada Hikaru's 'First love' sure
affected this piece a whole lot.I almost cry writing it!!!

Tomoyo's soulmate will be reveal in the next chapter and I bet cha nobody can guess
who the lucky he[or she] is. Here's a hint... Nobody ever paired him/her with our
Tomoyo-chan [As far as I know].So Eriol is out of the picture.Well too bad after reading
" A cappella'" I almost change my mind,Kit-san you're so cool!!

I would love having totally everything about my work.. Comments ,critics,flames
..ANYTHING,cause that so me proof that there is someone out there who care about
my poor writting..so please!!

Thank you for reading this fic and this note!!

Valkyrie....[ valkyrie@newyorkcity.com ]