I hated you, and you knew it. I'm absolutely certain that you hated me, too. You tried to kill me when we were in school, remember? You tried to feed me to a bloody werewolf. So why is it that I miss you? I miss the way you used to smile and laugh and be so happy just to be alive. I miss the way you never gave up, never ever surrendered or let them break you - even in Azkaban. Anyone else would have lost their mind - their heart - their soul. Not you. Not Sirius Black. All those years of darkness and despair - you never even considered giving up, did you? The strongest will I've ever seen - so utterly unlike me. Me? I'm a deserter. Side-switcher. A deceitful, treacherous spy. But you would never have done that. Never would have dreamed it.
I hated you, but now I think I love you. Love - who would've thought that I could feel those emotions? Certainly not me. Why is it that I only realize this feeling now? Is it because of what happened? Do I love you because you're gone? Or have I just realized it because of your... I don't want to call it death. You didn't die. You're just gone.
"Severus," a voice calls to me from the doorway of the school. It's Dumbledore. "Have you yet realized that it's raining?"
I look away from the star to find my tears mixed with cold rain. It must've been pouring for a while; my hair is wet and sticking to my face.
"Severus?" he repeats, that familiar concerned tone lilting his voice.
"Yes," I just barely manage, my voice gruff. I clear my throat, turning to face him.
"Come inside," he suggests in that fatherly tone. It's the perfect way to describe him. Fatherly. I nod, take one glance back up to the heavens, and then step inside, out of the rain.
I hated you, but now I think I love you. Love - who would've thought that I could feel those emotions? Certainly not me. Why is it that I only realize this feeling now? Is it because of what happened? Do I love you because you're gone? Or have I just realized it because of your... I don't want to call it death. You didn't die. You're just gone.
"Severus," a voice calls to me from the doorway of the school. It's Dumbledore. "Have you yet realized that it's raining?"
I look away from the star to find my tears mixed with cold rain. It must've been pouring for a while; my hair is wet and sticking to my face.
"Severus?" he repeats, that familiar concerned tone lilting his voice.
"Yes," I just barely manage, my voice gruff. I clear my throat, turning to face him.
"Come inside," he suggests in that fatherly tone. It's the perfect way to describe him. Fatherly. I nod, take one glance back up to the heavens, and then step inside, out of the rain.