Title: Forgiveness
Summary: After the events of the mattress episode, there's a lot of forgiveness that needs to go around. Specifically from Finn and Will. Will whump w/in.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I own nothing of Glee. But if I did, there would be more Will in there and there would definitely be more whump, lol.
Author's Note: Okay, so I love the first season but it always irks me how we never see how Will handles Quinn helping to lie to him. I'm sure that he never blamed her, but I kind of wanted a scene between them anyways, talking it through. So I decided to write one. And since I'm a Will whumper, I decided to add some of that in there as well.
I apologize if any of the characters are OOC. I'm not exactly great and keeping them IC.
Let me know what you think!
M
oOo
Quinn Fabray walked down the hall to the girls' bathroom, hurrying as quickly as she could. With the baby growing bigger, it seemed that her bladder held less and less in it. This was the third time in forty-five minutes that she had to go pee. She was not looking forward to the ninth month at all.
As she passed Mr. Schue's office on the way back to class, she heard a slight sniffle and she froze. She knew that he and Mrs. Schue were having troubles. What she didn't know was what specifically had happened. Honestly, she had too much on her mind to worry about what was going on in anyone else's life, let alone her teacher's. However, since she was planning on giving Mrs. Schue her baby, she found that her interest in Mr. Schue was growing. Whether it was out of curiosity or ridiculous fondness, she didn't know but it was getting annoying.
Blame it on her hormones, or whatever, but she ducked into Mr. Schue's office. She was amazingly quiet for being almost six months along and so Mr. Schue never heard her as she entered. She stood in the doorway, watching her teacher as he sat behind his desk. His hands were on top of the desk as he leaned forward and he seemed to be staring unseeingly in front of him. A stack of papers sat beneath his arms, but there was no pen in his hand and so she doubted that he planned on actually doing anything with them. Tears streamed freely down his cheeks, landing in small puddles on his desk.
"Mr. Schue?" she said, drawing his attention to her. His eyes slightly widened in horror before he averted his gaze and quickly wiped the tears from his face.
And was that a bruise surrounding his knuckles?! When, how did he get that?
"Quinn, what can I do for you?" Mr. Schue said, his voice cracking a little with each word he spoke.
Hesitantly, Quinn ventured further into the office. She remained standing, however, in case she had to suddenly run out.
"Are you okay?" she asked, surprised to find that she was truly concerned.
Mr. Schue laughed. It came out sounding a bit bitter to her ears and she tried not to wince hearing it. Normally whenever he laughed it was with such joy that it made her smile as well. This one, however.. It hurt.
"Yeah, Quinn, I'm fine," he answered, lying through his teeth. Then he looked up at her, finally fully seeing her. And the look in his eyes made her heart race. The anger in the normally friendly hazel eyes scared her a little. She straightened up and took a slight step back.
God, please don't let him know, she silently prayed. She didn't know how she'd handle it if he knew that she was going behind his back and, essentially, helping his wife lie to him about their child.
"I imagine I'm doing just as well as Finn is," he said and Quinn felt her heart – and some tears – drop. Now, she also saw the betrayal and pain and she knew they were directed at her.
"Mr. Schue," she began, thinking of saying something, anything that would absolve her of guilt but her mind came up blank. She opened her mouth to say something along the lines of 'I'm sorry' but he beat her to it.
"Don't worry Quinn," he absolved, the anger instantly fading to be replaced by weariness. Pain still lingered there but given what he'd been, apparently, going through, she wasn't sure that was going to go away soon. She hoped it did; she missed her warm, almost hyper teacher. "I don't blame you."
"You don't?" Quinn asked, surprised. Why not? She blamed herself. She'd spent the past few months bouncing between hating herself for lying to him and just being relieved that the baby would be gone once it was born.
At that, Mr. Schue sat back in his chair. His eyes wrinkled in a wince as his right hand fell carelessly into his lap but since he didn't seem to care about relieving his pain, Quinn didn't try to do anything about it either.
"No, I don't," he answered, sounding tired. He sighed. "I know how.. persuasive Terri can be."
"You mean manipulative," Quinn corrected, knowing that that was precisely what he had wanted to say. That was the thing about Mr. Schue. No matter who kept screwing him over – his wife, Coach Sylvester – he was always careful about saying something against that person. He tried to see the good in people and forgive the bad. Apparently, that was what had kept him married for the past five years because Quinn couldn't see another reason that he had stayed with his wife for so long otherwise.
Mr. Schue laughed, looking down at his lap. "Yeah, I guess I do," he admitted, looking back up at her. The laugh melted away, leaving just the pain and hurt in its wake. "But I wish that you would have had the strength to come and tell me."
"I wanted to, Mr. Schue," Quinn said. She hoped that he could tell how badly she felt about all of this but she wasn't sure. More tears steadily fell down her face as she faced one of the few teachers she felt she could call friend. "Mrs. Schue wanted to keep it a secret. She didn't think you'd ever find out and so I didn't see the harm in it." She paused as she came forward and put her hands on one of the chairs that sat in front of his desk. "But then you started getting more and more suspicious and it began getting harder and harder not to tell you." She looked down, ashamed. "But by then I had my own secrets to worry about keeping and I was no longer thinking about the one I was keeping from you. Compared to what I should have told Finn, the fact that I was helping your wife lie to you seemed.. insignificant."
It was the truth. But it was put brutally so and she heard a breath shudder out of him as tears began to fall down his face anew. He bent his head, probably in an attempt to hide the tears from her and Quinn felt guilt settle into her stomach.
Yeah, that could probably have been said differently but Quinn had never been the type to coddle a person and she wasn't going to start now.
"Well," he said, once again wiping his tears away before looking back up at her. More kept falling and this time he let them go. "I would tell you that some secrets are never insignificant, no matter how distant they seem but somehow I think you've learned that already."
Quinn bowed her head. She had learned that, and the hard way at that. But she couldn't bring herself to admit that she had been wrong and so she said nothing.
"You should get back to class," Mr. Schue said, clearing his throat so that his voice sounded stronger. "I'll see you at practice after school."
Realizing that she was being dismissed, Quinn nodded and turned around. Just as she'd reached the door she turned back and said, "I really am sorry, Mr. Schue."
He nodded. "I know you are Quinn," he said, though it didn't sound like forgiveness. His tone seemed to soften and cool at the same time as he added, "But what I can't figure out is if you're sorry for lying or that you got caught."
Quinn left before she could say something that she would regret, the barb from his comment stinging all the way back to class.
oOo
Will sat back and sighed as he watched Quinn leave. She probably hadn't deserved that last comment but he hadn't been able to stop himself from saying it. Though that had obviously been the end result, he hadn't meant to hurt her with it. He was just truly curious that if she was sorry for keeping the secrets or that people had found out the truth and exposed her.
At first he had been angry at her for what she'd helped Terri to do. But then he recalled most of his marriage and he knew that it hadn't been Quinn's fault. Terri had come in and taken advantage of a frightened kid who hadn't wanted what was coming and if there was one thing that Terri was good at, it was exploiting other's weaknesses and taking advantage of them.
Still, Will couldn't help but feel a bit hurt by the whole thing. He knew that Quinn, as well as Santana and Kurt, was one of the students who liked him the least but he'd thought that he'd been gaining her trust and that she'd softened a little bit towards him. After finding out that she'd been lying to him, he had begun to wonder if the reason for her slowly growing affection was merely a result of her guilt slowly eating away at her. He was pretty sure it was and so he was careful to put stock in her seeming concern for his wellbeing now.
He slammed his hand down on his desk, his anger at what Terri had done surging through him a small but flammable burst of energy. Instantly pain throbbed through the hand and he hissed and cradled the limb against his chest. He'd had another burst of angered energy earlier after a run-in with Sue, who had proceeded to insult his inability to be married and have a child. Will was ashamed to admit that he had punched a locker. Sure he'd waited until Sue had been out of earshot and had made sure that no student was around but even so, Will wasn't a violent person by nature and the outburst made him feel juvenile at best.
"Will?" Emma's voice called from the doorway and Will's head shot up to see her standing in the doorway, looking like the angel that Will had begun to believe her to be. "Are you alright?"
A harsh laugh bubbled in his chest but Will stamped down on it. Emma was just being concerned and while he wasn't sure if Quinn's had been real, he knew Emma's to be.
Finding that he couldn't lie to her, Will sighed and answered, "No, I'm not."
Emma's eyes saddened but she nodded and said nothing. She looked from his face down to his hand and her eyebrows wrinkled. "What happened to your hand?"
Now, Will felt like lying to her. He really didn't want her to know that he'd been foolish and had been acting like the teenagers he teaches. But again, he knew that couldn't lie to her and so he answered honestly.
"I, um, hit a locker earlier," he said, ducking his head in shame.
"Oh, Will," she said, her heels clicking as she came further into the office.
"It's fine," he assured with a self-conscious smile. "It's nothing, really. I'm fine."
"No, you're not," Emma answered, coming closer still. She grabbed a chair and pulled it so that she sat behind his desk with him, on his right-hand side. "You're stressed with what's going on with the kids and Finn, and you're still trying to reconcile what's happened with Terri." She smiled, gently taking his injured hand within her own and pulling so that she could examine it. "You're hurting and trying to be strong for everyone else."
He groaned as she straightened his fingers and then tried to stifle a cry as she attempted to force his hand to flatten. God, that had hurt. And yet, it didn't seem to compare to the pain he felt in his heart whenever he thought about the child he would never have.
"Sorry," Emma apologized, wincing at the pain she'd caused. "You should get that checked out," she said, her eyes pointing down towards his hand. She watched him as his gaze idly followed her and he stared down at the bruising and swelling with nonchalance. "But since you won't, wait here while I go visit Marie. I'm sure she'll have some supplies I can use to bandage it for you."
"That's okay, Emma," Will said, not wanting her to have to go to the nurse's office just for him. "I can go later."
Emma smiled in that way that said that she hurt for him and loved him in one. She reached out and took his other hand and gave it a slight squeeze.
"For months you've been trying to take care of everyone. From Terri, to the Glee club, to the kids themselves, and maybe even a little bit, me too. Now, it's our turn to take care of you. Let us."
And with that, she got up and left.
Will watched her go with a stunned expression on his face. He felt weary. Actually, he felt bone-tired and as though he could fall asleep where he sat. He decided to close his eyes for a second while Emma was gone, hoping that she would wake him when she came back. He was asleep before he knew what had happened and soon he entered a dreamland filled with his failures coming back to haunt him.
oOo
"Mr. Scue?"
Someone called his name, but for Will it sounded like it was through a long, long tunnel and the voice faded into the air before it truly registered with his mind.
"Mr. Schue?" the voice called again, and this time it sounded as though it were getting closer. "I think he's asleep but he's not waking up." The voice sounded worried and Will just wanted to assure it that he was fine, just tired.
"Here, let me," a different voice, female this time, volunteered and for some reason Will felt a little bit afraid of that voice. It was cold and uncaring and his mind was telling him that it was time to get up before he regretted not waking up when the male, gentler voice had been calling him.
Deep, bone-jarring pain seared through his hand and Will found himself waking with a painful start. "Ah!" he cried out, his voice responding the messages his brain was getting from his nerves and he pulled the injured hand closer to him, instinctively trying to protect it from further pain.
"Santana, was that really necessary?" Finn asked, looking shocked and a little angry in one.
"What, it worked, didn't it?" Santana returned, not even looking a little bit sorry. It wasn't like Will expected her to, really. That just wasn't how Santana operated.
"You didn't have to hurt him just to wake him up," Rachel defended, sounding annoyed. "There are other ways to do it."
Will opened his eyes to find the Glee kids standing around his desk, essentially surrounding him. Tears had sprung to his eyes from the pain in his hand and he blinked them away as best as he could, sitting up and wincing at the jolt of pain from his back and neck.
"I guessing falling asleep in my desk chair wasn't such a great idea after all," he joked with a half-laugh when he noticed that the kids had noticed his discomfort.
"Are you alright, Mr. Schue?" Rachel asked, her expression one of concerned impatience.
"Yeah, Rachel, I'm fine, thanks," he answered, doubting that these kids wanted to hear the truth.
"Great, now that we have that cleared up, can we practice now? Britt and I have other, more important things to do than stand around here and coddle you," Santana snapped, sounding bored and annoyed. She looked over at Brittany who returned her look with, what could only be referred to as a seductive smile and Will felt himself become distinctly uncomfortable.
"Yeah," Will answered, ignoring the Latina and stiffly getting out of the chair. The back and neck ache were going to stick with him for a while, he guessed, but he tried to move as though nothing was wrong. He waited for the kids as they filed out of his office and into the choir room, him following at the end.
Honestly, he had no idea what the lesson plan was for today, or this week, and so he began trying to think of one on the fly. They had to begin preparing for Regionals and they had to begin training hard if they wanted to have a chance at winning. The problem was that his mind was dull, his body ached and his heart sent jolts of pain throughout his veins with every beat. Will was having trouble focusing and he felt bad because he knew the kids were going to suffer for it.
"Mr. Schue, if I may?" Rachel said, raising her hand as she asked to be allowed to speak. "I think I have an idea for the lesson plan."
"Um, of course, Rachel," Will said, stepping to the side to give her room to speak. "Tell us what you've got."
With the same arrogance that was explained as self-confidence that she always had, Rachel got out of her chair and marched to the front of the room, standing just to the right of the piano.
"As you all know, we've been having some troubles within the group," she began, not even waiting for the nods of agreement or the eye rolls of boredom before she continued. "I propose that we focus this week on friendship."
"And what would you know about friends, Berry," Santana quipped. "It's not like you have any."
Rachel was obviously taken aback by the comment but it was Finn who came to her rescue. "Leave her alone, Santana. She's got a point."
The Latina rolled her eyes and pulled out an emery board to being working on her nails. Finn stood up and joined Rachel at the front of the room.
"Rachel's right," he said, looking at most of the kids in front of him. Will didn't miss the way he avoided Puck or Quinn and he knew that he'd have to address that sooner or later but he left it be for now. "We need to rediscover our friendships."
"We need to do more than that," Will interjected, taking over. "We need to rediscover our unity. There was a time when you guys worked as a team. Now it seems you're all out for what you can get out of it instead of what does the group get out of it." He pulled up a stool, careful to avoid using his hand – which he was only now realizing was wrapped in a compression bandage – and sat down. "We need a win at Regionals, guys. Otherwise Figgins is going to cut the program and I don't know about you, but I don't want that to happen."
He waited long enough to see the general agreement with him coming from the group and then he got up and went to the dry erase board. He grimaced as he gripped the marker and began writing. The handwriting was, if possible, worse than his normal as he couldn't get a tight hold on the marker thanks to the swelling and pain, but it was still legible.
"Hello?" Mercedes asked as she read what he'd written.
Will turned around, feeling some energy return to him.
"Yes, Hello. I want you guys to find a way to reintroduce yourselves. To yourselves, your classmates, your friends, and the world."
The group gave a collective groan but Will just smiled at them and ignored it. "Anybody have anything that springs to mind?"
The kids slowly began to shake their heads and Will sighed. He wasn't surprised or disappointed in the slightest and so he made sure to keep the smile on his face to reflect that.
"Right, well, take the day and begin to think of some songs," he said, essentially dismissing them. He knew he should be pushing Regionals and some possible new dance moves but he didn't have the energy to and he knew that the kids needed to like each other again before they began working together.
"Quinn," he called, stopping the blond from leaving. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"
She gave each of her friends a look, telling them to go on ahead, and then gave Finn a teary-eyed look that broke Will's heart a little but she did as she was asked.
"I wanted to apologize for what I said earlier," he said, still feeling bad. "It wasn't fair and it hurt you."
"It's okay, Mr. Schue," she forgave, a tear spilling down her cheek. She heaved a big breath, doing her best to steady herself as she let it out. "You were right. I'm not sorry for keeping the secrets. I'm sorry that you, and Finn, found out."
Will ducked his head to hide the tears that had come to his own eyes. He figured as much but it hurt a little to hear.
"But I'm also just sorry that I hurt you. And Finn," she said, surprising him. His head snapped up to look at her, tears falling down both their faces. "It wasn't my intention to do either," she said, looking him straight in the eye to let him know that she meant it.
"But you did," Finn called her on, surprising both Will and Quinn.
"Finn," Will said, "how long have you been standing there?"
The teen looked uncomfortable at having been caught eavesdropping, but he stepped further into the room. "Long enough to hear Quinn apologize and admit that she was sorrier that she'd gotten caught."
Both Quinn and Will stayed silent, watching as Finn grabbed the backpack that he'd apparently forgotten to grab when he'd left.
"I'd better go," Quinn said, ducking her head and her voice quiet. "See you later, Mr. Schue."
"Quinn," Will called, reaching out and gently grabbing her arm, stopping her from leaving. He grimaced as his hand sent pain up his arm and withdrew his hand, using his left to hold onto his right wrist. "I really do forgive you," he assured, unsure as to whether or not that came across.
She smiled at him, looking just as said as she had before. "I know," she said, her eyes flicking in between Finn and himself. "Now I just have to forgive myself."
She left before Will could say anything else and suddenly Will felt boneless. He leaned against the piano, praying that it would hold him up long enough for him to get some energy back.
"Mr. Schue?" Finn said, getting his attention, though the teen had apparently come up right next to him while he'd had his eyes closed. Concern shone in Finn's eyes and was reflected in his expression. "You okay?"
"Yeah," Will lied. "Just tired."
Finn nodded, accepting the lie at face value. "Why was Quinn apologizing to you?"
The question was asked out of curiosity and Will sighed, debating whether or not to give an honest answer. Figuring he at least owed Finn that, for the way that he'd delved into the teen's life, Will sighed again, this time bending his head so that he could feel the stretch of the taut muscles in his back and neck.
"Terri was going to use Quinn's baby when the time came," he said, glad that Finn couldn't see the tears that had begun to fall at the mention of Terri's name or the unborn child.
"So, she, like, was going to ask Quinn after she'd had the baby?" Finn asked, apparently not fully grasping Will's meaning.
Will smiled at the naiveté. "No," he answered, looking up at the kid that reminded him so much of himself. "She'd gone to Quinn the moment that she'd found out that she was pregnant. She arranged to take the baby off Quinn's hands, hoping that I wouldn't notice that she wasn't pregnant."
"So," Finn said, his mind obviously working to comprehend everything. "She and Quinn both lied to you for months?"
And there was the now-familiar pang that radiated from his heart and spiraled all throughout his body. Will winced at the feeling and his hand went to his chest to rub that pain away, all the while knowing that it wouldn't do any good.
"Yeah," he answered with another sigh. His voice cracked at the very end and he ducked his head again to hide the tears.
"How could she do that?" Finn asked, obviously angry at what his ex-girlfriend had done.
"It's not her fault, Finn," Will soothed. He didn't want to be another reason for Finn to be angry with the girl. She had enough stress in her life without him adding to it. "Terri can be very persuasive when she wants to be."
"That's no excuse," Finn said, walking out before Will could stop him or respond back.
With yet another sigh, Will sunk to the floor, his muscles no longer willing to hold him upright.
TBC