My first Gunsmoke fanfic. Drop me a line and let me know how you like it. :)
A red-haired woman is dusting her living room, while the children are in school and her husband is checking over the ranch. She hums softly to herself until she reaches the framed portrait on the mantel. Her hands slow, and even after all this time, her fingers trace his face with something akin to longing.
"Kitty…" Will's voice takes her by surprise. His hands slip around her waist, and he pulls her against his chest. "Why didn't you marry him?" he wonders. There is no bitterness or regret in his tone; he loves her, and she loves him. That's enough. He knows there's a piece of her heart he'll never own, but he's all right with that.
She doesn't deserve him.
With a sigh, she whispers, "We were just kids then. I guess we grew out of love."
It's a lie, but she's told her share over the years.
"Mama, why didn't you marry him?"
She looks up from her sewing, and her gaze lands on her oldest daughter Katelyn. The fifteen-year-old is staring at the old portrait – even after all these years, it remains the centerpiece of the mantel. Kate turns to her now with inquiring eyes, face framing a question Kitty has always known she would have to answer someday.
She abandons her sewing and moves to stand beside her daughter, knowing she will have to be careful with the answer. "Because he loved his work more than me," she says easily, as if it doesn't hurt her at all.
Funny how the lies come easier, with time.
"Oh my, he's very handsome."
Kitty hands her new friend a cup of tea, blushing in spite of herself. Now that the kids are all grown and on their own, she's glad for women like Hannah Abbott, who keep her occupied while Will puts in long hours on the range. "Yes, he was," Kitty muses, almost to herself.
Hannah is watching her with knowing eyes. "Who was he?"
"Oh, just an old crush," Kitty says.
She's told so many lies she almost believes them herself now.
Almost.
"Grandma, who's this?"
The elderly lady crosses the room slowly, stopping when she reaches her great-granddaughter. The portrait has faded through the years, along with her flamboyant red hair. But he's still as young in it, and her memory, as he ever was. Somehow she never could picture him as an old man.
Kitty smiles past the flashes of pain that tug at her heart, even after all this time. "He's an…old friend. Someone I used to know a long time ago."
"Did you love him?" Ah, the candidness of youth.
"A long, long time ago," she says. "Before I met your grandfather." And every day after.
Matilda cocks her head, eyeing her great-grandmother. "Why didn't you marry him?"
Kitty opens her mouth to give her the lies she's told everyone else, but then she hesitates. What does it matter now? Will is dead, and so is everyone she used to know. Doc, Festus, Chester, Quint... She is suddenly struck with an overwhelming desire to tell the truth – so she does.
"Because he never asked."