Title: Proxy
Author: Cold Silence
E-Mail:
Pairings: Joshua + Neku
Warnings: Shounen Ai, some masturbation
Disclaimer: The World Ends With You and all of its characters belong to Square-Enix and Jupiter.
Comments: I wrote this fic after playing The World Ends With You. It's meant to be an introspection piece.
Proxy
One month.
That was all the time that Joshua had to pick an appropriate proxy to represent him in the Reaper's Game. He would have to select someone quickly, so he enlisted the help of the Producer. The Udagawa district was now decorated with art that held the command codes for "gather" and "enjoy the moment more." All he had to do now was wait and see who responded to it.
The first couple of people that noticed the message were less than desirable. A pack of hoodlums high on alcohol and drugs came by. They commented on the art, but their imagination didn't extend beyond the reaches of sex and money. The entire group was pathetic, and unworthy of playing his game.
Others arrived after the initial rabble cleared out. Teenagers who were fans of CAT congregated before the mural, and they showed some promise. However, their potential wasn't at the level that was needed to defeat the Conductor. Joshua continued to wait.
A few businessmen responded to the command codes, but they were too old and ingrained in their lifestyles to effect change in their way of thinking. The shopkeeper of the nearby Wild Boar was inspired to break up with his girlfriend. A passing child decided that he wanted to own a black cat. All in all, the selection pool of individuals with excellent imagination was very shallow.
This didn't come as a surprise to Joshua. The state of humanity was in a crisis. Crime and poverty were on the rise, and people were complacent in their attitudes towards what was wrong in the world. Humans in Shibuya only cared about material things, and nobody had any appreciation for how privileged they were to have the breath of life inside of them. Joshua was tired of watching these people squander away the gift that was given to them.
He had given up on changing Shibuya. His Reapers Game saved a few, but they were few and far between. The inspiration needed to change the masses just wasn't there. His Conductor didn't understand that, and it was insulting that Megumi thought that he could do a better job. So to teach him a lesson, not only would Joshua beat him at the Reaper's Game, but he would choose a human who was completely walled up and resistant to change. That human would represent all that was wrong in Shibuya - the fact that no one wanted to hear the message that the angels have been trying to send since the beginning of time:
Wake up. Show appreciation.
Waiting in the Udagawa District was disgusting him. Joshua skulked away to continue his search.
Of course, he should have realized it earlier. The kind of human he was looking for would be surrounded by Noise. They would be attracted to that person's negativity like a moth to a flame. All he had to do was locate a dense pocket of Noise, and there would be his proxy. This strategy seemed promising, but it also had its pitfalls. Negative energy in Shibuya tended to pool in the most derelict areas. Joshua found himself touring crack houses in the red light district and homeless shelters. The humans that he found there were not worthy of the game, and obviously would rather throw away their lives if given the chance.
Joshua had to revise his search pattern. He looked for groups of Noise in residential areas, and that was where he found some potentials. A few were husbands cheating on their wives, and vice versa. Others were children who didn't understand their parent's harshness as love, and acted out as a result. Some were career builders who dominated their office politics and committed white collar crimes to get ahead. The Noise congregated around those people, and Joshua considered each and every single one with a discerning eye. They had the qualities that he was looking for, but none of them had the right level of imagination. Was Shibuya so bleak now, that humans had lost their ability to dream?
He strolled down the hillside that the neighborhood had been built on. The terrain was so slanted from the mountain, that it was a wonder that the houses didn't just roll down the hill instead of staying rooted to their foundations. There was one last pool of Noise that he was going to check out before figuring out a different strategy. It centered on a home at the bottom of the hill. As he got closer, he could hear the sounds of shouting coming from inside of it.
A woman was yelling at her child. She was upset that he had failed yet another test. At the top of her lungs, she screamed that her son was wasting his potential. Joshua's interest was piqued, so he staked out a spot across the street to watch the house.
The wait wasn't long. A young boy stepped out on the porch and closed the door behind him. Joshua immediately realized why the woman had been yelling - the boy had a pair of headphones on his head, and the music was going at full blast. The boy didn't respond to any of the yelling, instead he was tuning her out completely. He refused to listen to his mother's message, which essentially was: You can do better, because I believe in you.
As the boy walked towards the shopping district, Joshua followed at a leisurely pace. He scanned the other's mind to see what he would find hiding beneath that silent exterior.
Shut up! Stop talking. Just go the hell away.
A slow smile crept on Joshua's face.
I've got my values. So you can keep yours, alright.
Joshua was impressed. This boy had walls so thick; it was practically a fortress around him. Still, he had to be wary. Hiding behind those walls could be a soul that was corrupted by the world. Delinquents who deliberately hurt one another for pleasure were no different than the Noise that surrounded them. He wanted a human that was truly worthy of the game.
The Composer decided to do some research.
The subject's name was Neku Sakuraba, and he had the gift of life for 15 years, 87 days, 4 hours, 3 minutes and counting. His father died tragically before he was born. Since the moment that he was brought into the world, Neku's soul yearned for something to fill the void of the missing parent. His mother tried to move on, and she brought a man into their home that was full of negativity. She was blind to his true nature, and she implored Neku to give this man a chance and open up to him. Because it was his mother's request, Neku decided to give it a try.
At first, things had gone swimmingly. He got along well with his mother's new fiancée, and they created many beautiful memories together. However, things eventually fell apart. The man's negativity came from the loss of his job, and his inability to gain employment despite his best efforts. One night, after drinking away his sorrows, he struck out against his stepson. Neku didn't sustain serious physical injuries from the incident, but the emotional ones ran deep. His mother broke off the engagement soon afterwards, but it was too little, too late. By the age of 8, Neku responded to the incident by becoming severely introverted.
From then on, the world was seen in a negative light by Neku. He believed that all people would eventually betray him, including his own family. This new way of thinking affected everyone around him. His peers became uncomfortable at his distant behavior. He never talked, and sometimes he would get picked on at school due to his silence. The bullies wanted to tear down his walls and get a rise out of him, just to fight their own feelings of loneliness. However, their efforts were in vain. Neku learned how to reinforce himself with a secret sarcasm so dark and humorous that Joshua often chuckled when he got a gist of what the boy was thinking.
It was evident that life was simply passing Neku by. He had no friends. There was no one that he trusted. He wore clothes that exposed his walls for what they were: high collared shirts that hid his face, and ever-present headphones that blocked the sounds of humanity out.
Despite his negativity, it was confirmed that he did not have a corrupted soul. Neku was only blocking himself off; he was not purposely hurting others or harboring thoughts of self-destruction. He only wanted to exist in his own world, where no one would ever hurt him again. Joshua decided that he was worthy of the Reaper's Game, but Neku's self-actualization loop was so profound that it was hard to get a good read on his imagination.
In Joshua's current down-tuned state, his powers were very limited. If he wanted to see past Neku's walls to observe his imagination, he would have to momentarily increase his vibe, but he had to wait for the right moment. It wouldn't do to reveal his location so early in the game. The Conductor wouldn't hesitate to use that to his advantage.
A very long time ago, Joshua was named Yoshiya Kiryu. He was a human that lived in the city of Shibuya. His life was charmed in all the ways that one could ever hope for: he came from a rich family, and he was gifted with genius intellect and handsome appearance. Yoshiya instantly became popular no matter where he went because of his gifts. He had a hobby of playing chess, but he was so good at it that people came from all over the country to try to best him in the game. If he ever lost a match, it was because he was trying to save the other's dignity.
His incredible genius served as an inspiration to others. Yoshiya had many rivals, and they all wanted to study harder, practice more and work in order to come even remotely close to his level. They were all welcome to try, but no one could truly beat him in anything. Yoshiya was number one in his class, practically undefeated in his hobby of chess, and much too handsome and engaging for the opposite sex to resist.
Unfortunately, with his gifts came a heavy burden. He had many rivals, but no friends to truly love him. His acquaintances were just that – people who crowded around him so that they could gain the awe and respect of knowing someone like Yoshiya. If he had been an ordinary boy, Yoshiya might have let some of them get close, but the reality was that he could see right through those people as if they were made of glass. The powers that be had given him one last, secret gift: clairvoyance.
Yoshiya could see and sense things that humans were never meant to experience. As he walked the streets, he felt the emotions and thoughts of passersby cloud around him like a storm. He saw souls trapped in limbo lingering among the living, as well as monsters that tried to devour them. At first, Yoshiya had been afraid. Was that the fate of his soul when he passed away? To become a rat in the maze of the Reaper's Game?
No, he wasn't going to accept that. He must have been given his power for a reason. Yoshiya decided that he had a higher purpose to fulfill. Unfortunately, this new modus operandi made him feel superior to his peers. It became impossible to connect with other people because none of them had the ability to comprehend what he knew about the afterlife. Their world was so limited and superficial compared to what was waiting beyond the veil of life. How could anyone waste their time on fashion, money or who was doing what. Why care, when annihilation was waiting only a breath away?
This knowledge magnified the loneliness in Yoshiya's life. He was surrounded by people, but none of them mattered. They could never understand him, yet he prayed every night that there would be just one other person that he could talk to. Someone that he could share his knowledge with and help him to understand what his purpose ultimately was.
Then, like an answer from the mysterious gods above, Sanae Hanekoma appeared in his life. They met at the Wildcat Café. The other customers saw a laid back man who refused to wear anything but sandals, but Yoshiya beheld a laid back man in sandals – with a pair of majestic white wings on his back. It was the first time that he was actually able to interact with the strange visions that he saw in his everyday life.
Sanae acknowledged Yoshiya, and he was kind enough to explain several things to him. He informed the young man that he was clairvoyant because of his strong vibe, and that the Reaper's Game that he witnessed was not the sole thing that waited in the afterlife. There were higher planes of existence, rewards for those with a pure soul, and second chances abound. Sanae had a message of hope, and Yoshiya felt his burden lift as he listened to it.
Yoshiya now understood his purpose. He was to be a part of that message. Sanae was convinced that when Yoshiya passed, he would be ascended to a higher plane due to his powerful vibe. What he didn't know was that Yoshiya had a different ambition for himself. Finally, he had found the one thing that challenged his intellect and confirmed his superiority over others. It was his destiny to become the next Composer.
So that was what he did. He took his own life, knowing that showing such flagrant disregard for his gift and his young age would earn him a seat in the Reaper's Game. His entry fee was Sanae Hanekoma, which immediately drew the attention of the higher ups in the Upper Plane. Yoshiya made a pact with Megumi Kitanaji, a man who was also mired in his own egotism, and together they skillfully won the game within the first week.
Yoshiya was chosen as the winner. His soul was judged worthy after learning an important lesson: That he should not fear being alone. It didn't matter if nobody understood him, and he shouldn't condemn them for it. True friendship was a gift, and he had already been given so many other gifts in life. It was greedy to want more.
Yoshiya turned down the chance to be reborn. Even though he had learned his lesson, he didn't want to live a life that he deemed empty. Instead, he clung to his original plan. He would never have friends, but he was going to have a purpose. There was a biblical figure in history that had to walk the same path. He was severely misunderstood, and his group of friends often betrayed him as they fell into their own temptations. Yoshiya changed his name to remind him of what that man had to go through.
After his soul was re-written into the existence of a reaper, he took the name Joshua.
He was a force to be reckoned with in the world of Reapers. Joshua retained many of his human traits. He was aloof, back-handed and devious. His erasure rate was through the roof. Soon, he was made Game Master, then Conductor, and finally, he challenged the Composer himself – and won.
His old partner also rose through the ranks. Megumi was judged worthy to ascend after playing the Reaper's Game a second time, and he also bypassed reincarnation in favor of gaining the powers of a reaper. The rivalry between Megumi and Joshua was fierce. Megumi was always one step behind him, and he ascended up the ranks at the same alarming speed as Joshua. When the role of Composer was usurped, Joshua didn't hesitate to make Megumi his Conductor. He knew that it was risky, but he respected Megumi's power and intellect. Despite the fact that they never saw eye to eye on certain details, he knew that Megumi was worthy. Besides, the afterlife would have been boring without another sharp mind to contend with.
It broke Joshua's heart to see Shibuya falling apart. That city had given him purpose, but he could not risk the rest of humanity with its existence. The evil that was spreading inside of it would taint the other grounds if it was not stopped. Humanity was just too difficult to change. He had seen it with his own eyes when he was alive, and his newfound powers as a Composer didn't make that sight any different. In the end, he decided to end it all just as he had ended his own life. Once Shibuya was erased, he wouldn't be too far behind it. A Composer without a city was just a waste of empty space, after all.
Megumi wouldn't let things end that way. He loved Shibuya too much to let it go. So he challenged Joshua for the position of Composer, and Joshua accepted. If there was any small shaft of hope for the humans in Shibuya, then he was willing to give it a chance. None of those humans were his friends, but he didn't hate them. He was the one that failed to make them change. Megumi was welcome to try to do a better job, but Joshua knew that it was a futile effort. In the end, he was going to win the game, because he was right. He wanted all the Composers out there to heed the shockwave of his message: That they all needed to step up their game, because their failing was hastening the self-destruction of humanity.
Now, if only his proxy would let him see his imagination. He had been following Neku for days, and not once did the boy let his walls down. Worse than that, he hadn't seen a single opportunity to increase his vibe so that he could get this job over with. The entire ordeal would have been very boring, if not for the fact that Neku never ceased to entertain him. His sarcastic thoughts always managed to get a chuckle out of Joshua. If Neku had a different perspective, then he would have had a lot of friends. People would flock to be around him. Joshua might have even tolerated him if he still had his old life.
The opportunity that Joshua was waiting for finally arrived on the 6th day. That night, Neku's mother was home. She had seen her son go through another day in silence, so she knelt in front of the family shrine and asked her ancestors for guidance on what to do about Neku. While she was occupied with her prayers, Neku happened to walk by the living room and see what she was doing. In that moment, his walls faltered just the slightest bit, and the Noise that perpetually filled the house dispersed.
Now. From his stake out across the street, Joshua could see the Noise vanishing. He elevated his vibe and transformed from a young man into a glowing being of light. His existence in this form was incomprehensible to humans, so he was able to freely drift through the front door without detection. He floated through the walls of the home, searching for Neku.
He found him in his bedroom. Neku had changed into his pajamas and tucked himself into bed. Joshua couldn't believe his luck; what better way to see Neku's imagination than to take a peek into his dreams. He hovered beside the bed where the human laid, and waited anxiously for the curtain of sleep to come. Joshua tuned himself in to Neku's thoughts, so that he would know the exact moment that the boy was vulnerable.
I don't get people. Never have, never will.
Joshua knew those words. He had said them himself, once upon a time.
All the world needs is me.
My, what egotism, thought Joshua to himself. Neku was being particularly self-actualizing tonight, probably in response to seeing his mother appear so hurt. It was further evidence of a pure soul possessed by negativity. Just like everyone else, Neku. All you care about is yourself. You could be so much more. But you won't hear the message. You'll always be food for the Noise.
Time was passing. Neku was taking too long to fall asleep. Joshua was getting impatient. Noisy, incoherent thoughts were clouding Neku's mind. What was going on here? Upon taking a closer look, Joshua noted that Neku was biting his lip, and that the sheets were rustling.
Well well Neku, thought Joshua smugly. Looks like even you can't stand the burden of being alone.
Nothing cried out loneliness louder than masturbation in Joshua's book. His curiosity compelled him to know who it was that Neku was imagining. Could it be one of those scantily dressed girls that he passed by on the street? The latest hot celebrity dominating the advertisements at 10-4? Or better yet, one of the girls from his class, the very same that he avoided and rejected at every chance that he got.
Joshua placed his ghostly hand over Neku's hot forehead. Now was as good a time as any to see what Neku's imagination was like. He was ready for disappointment, because at the end of the day, Neku wasn't any different from the other horny teenagers that roamed the streets of Shibuya.
What Joshua discovered blew his expectations away. Neku wasn't thinking of sex in the traditional sense. He was imagining that he was flying through clouds cast in purple hues, and as he passed each one, a musical note manifested in sound and a haze of brilliant, multicolored light that swirled around his body. One after another, those notes blended together into a melody that flowered into a beautiful song and gorgeous motes of energy. Voiceless, pure music that could not be traced to any man-made instrument filled Neku's world and brought him a pleasure that was beyond the corporal, although he was definitely taking care of that part too in reality.
It was beautiful, stunning, surprising, and very, very powerful. At last, Joshua had found his proxy. A human with the imagination of an angel, and a pure soul bound down by its own negativity. Neku had the potential to win the game and defeat the Conductor.
That was all the information that Joshua needed, but he was reluctant to leave Neku's beautiful world. The music was inspiring. It made him want to dance and fight against fate. Joshua lowered himself until he was kneeling beside the bed, and he turned his head to rest it on Neku's chest. He could hear the pounding bass of Neku's heart as his human form struggled to come to terms with the shuddering vibration of an elevated vibe.
I see, Joshua thought to himself. Music is your lover.
What an interesting human. Joshua bore witness to how Neku built his imagination layer by layer, until his imagined world was as frenzied as his pleasuring strokes. The music rose to the stratosphere in a crescendo that eventually fell to a thunderous, crashing end that was marvelous in its completion. Neku murmured a quiet whimper, the only indication that the song of nymphs in his mind and body was over.
What else could Joshua do but stand up and clap?
On the seventh day, Neku happened to enter the Udagawa District. The crowds were extra thick and he was tired of being jostled around and trampled. Udagawa would at least give him a little peace and quiet, as long as there weren't any hoodlums roaming about.
He was surprised and very happy to see a brand new mural by CAT on the wall. Neku was a huge fan of his art. His heart filled with rare happiness as he gathered close to the wall and touched it. He heard the message loud and clear: Enjoy the moment more. That was it! Why didn't he think of that before? He could do what he wants, when he wanted. No more listening to his mom bitch at him, no more having to say "I'm sorry" and "Excuse me" every time someone bumped into him, no more feeling pressured to do his homework and pass all of his tests. He didn't need to feel shackled by the rules of what was proper and right in society. He could do what he pleased because those things didn't matter!
Suddenly, he heard footsteps rushing towards him. Neku looked to his left, and he spied a boy with wavy, pale hair running towards him. iWhat's his deal?/i he thought to himself. Then he realized that this interloper was holding a gun, and his world froze. He looked directly into the eyes of the approaching boy, and knew in that moment that his life was in danger.
BANG.
The sound shocked Neku to his core. He automatically dropped onto the ground, his eyes wide with shock. Did he get hit? The lack of pain told him no. But that guy...
BANG BANG BANG.
Several more shots were fired, this time from behind him. He saw bullets whizzing over his shoulder, and a quick glance back confirmed that there was another person with a gun. Just his luck, he landed himself right in the middle of a gang dispute. His mom was going to KILL him. Neku cowered until the horrible banging went silent. Then he slowly looked up, and couldn't believe his eyes.
The bullets were hovering in the air in front of the boy that had approached first. Apparently, the second shooter was very freaked out by this, because he turned tail and ran, clutching at his wounded shoulder.
What's going on?
The wavy haired boy cocked the gun up and aimed it at Neku.
Why are you doing this?
A twisted smile painted the boy's lips.
Neku never said a thing. He didn't speak to people in his normal life, and it was even harder to make words in the face of his murderer. How could there ever be an understanding between himself and the person that was about to shoot him?
BANG.
Neku's world suddenly became dark.
It was a bloodless coup. The gun merely created a natural cause for sudden death. Ruptured appendixes, strokes, heart attacks; all of that and more was created by the pull of the trigger. The process was quick and painless, and that was the only mercy that Joshua was going to show Neku.
He dropped a black and white player pin onto Neku's chest. Now, the stage was set.
I am going to test you like you've never been tested before, Neku, thought Joshua. The game will rip down your walls until you scream for mercy, or you will vanish into oblivion, as alone as you were in life.
If Neku won the game, then perhaps he could be ascended to the Higher Plane before Shibuya was destroyed. In failure, he would simply be erased. However, Joshua knew that Neku would emerge victorious. He represented everything that was beautiful and very tragic about the human race. No matter what message he heard from the Angels, Neku would twist the meaning, just as he did when he interpreted the command codes from the mural.
Even so, he was the very last soul that Joshua would personally save. Neku would be the embodiment of all of his personal failings as Composer.
What a pair we'll make, Neku. Hee hee.
Joshua smirked at the sheer irony of it all. He put his gun away and strolled out of the Udagawa District. Shibuya and the Reaper's Game were waiting.
THE END