Pain of Loss

New Authors Notes: I don't own Doctor Who I'm just playing with the characters for a while, I'll put them back when I'm done.

I found this story on an old HD and thought I'd share it, it was written way before Matt Smith had been named as the next Doctor and I think I got the description of him not far off.

Original Authors Note:

I had this in my head since I found out David Tennant was leaving so I thought I would share it with everyone. I feel the Doctor needs to see a friendly face when he regenerates.

This is not slash but we all know Jack has it bad for the Doctor.

I have no story that precedes this but if anyone thinks of one let me know and you can add on with pleasure. I have only seen half of season one of Torchwood so I have no idea of any new characters so I'm using the old ones.

Summary: The Doctor has saved the world again but at what cost to himself.

Jack stood around the crater that used to be a warehouse, the air was thick with dust and smoke from a few small fires, he coughed and turned to his team, "Tosh, found anything?" She blinked down at the scanner, "I can't see any life readings"

Jack shook his head and muttered to himself: "C'mon Doc you gotta still be with us"

He looked over to his team again they all looked a little singed and out of breath from escaping before the warehouse had imploded.

Gwen had seen the worried expression on Jacks face and put her hand on his arm, "I don't think anyone could've survived that Jack, he saved us"

Jack gave her a hard look, "he's not dead! He's not, he can't be…"

Gwen squeezed his arm in what she hoped was a comforting manor before looking back at Tosh, "Anything?" Tosh looked sadly back and shook her head, the moment she had the device in her hand gave a soft beep. Everyone turned to look at her as she pressed a few buttons: "This can't be, the radiation alone…"

Jack smiled broadly: "That's my Doc"

There was a crunching sound of footsteps on gravel and they all looked trying to see through the haze, a figure appeared in the midst of the destruction he stumbled slightly but slowly made his way to the group. Jack started to run towards the figure and could now make him out properly, he looked a mess. His brown suit was covered in brick dust, the left sleeve was torn at the forearm and Jack was sure he could see a trickle of blood on his hand. He was limping slightly as he made his way forward.

Jack stepped into his path and the Doctor braced his hands on Jack's chest, Jack quickly grabbed hold of his arms to stop him from falling over. "Jack!" the Doctor exclaimed happily, "Is everyone ok?" he looked over Jacks shoulder to see everyone staring at him. Jack could see that the Doctors eyes looked a little glassy like he couldn't focus properly, it probably had to do with the large cut just under his hairline by his right temple. It looked like it had been bleeding a while as there was a red trail leading down to his shirt collar. Jack noted his collar was unbuttoned and his tie was missing leaving a tantalizingly small amount of skin on show. There was also a small graze on his left cheekbone.

"Everyone's fine Doc, thanks to you, are you ok you look a little…"

"I'm fine" The Doctor cut across him loudly then his face fell "I killed them all, I did it again"

"You saved us, we're all still here cause of you"

The Doctor raised his eyes to Jack's and in a quiet hopeful tone asked "everyone lives?"

Jack thought about the soldiers who had given their lives helping them infiltrate the building but couldn't bring himself to tell the Doctor, he'd lost too much already "Yeah Doc, everyone lives"

"Fantastic" The Doctor exclaimed before he slumped forward onto Jack.

The sudden weight took Jack by surprise and they both slumped to the floor "Owen, get over here now!" Jack shouted though he needn't have as the minute Owen has seen them fall he had started running towards them, medical kit in hand.

Jack turned the Doctor so his head was resting against his shoulder and his back was against his chest.

Owen skidded to his knees beside them and put his hand to the Doctors throat searching for a pulse, Jack looked at him "Two hearts, no aspirin"

Owen nodded and kept counting, "ok his pulse is weak and too rapid, but I don't know if that's normal" He moved the Doctors hair to look at the head wound "Probably a concussion unless his head's as hard as yours" Jack smiled about to respond when the Doctors voice broke in "Stop it"

Owen carried on examining the Doctor but his face fell when his eyes got to his stomach, "Jeeze" Owen moved the Doctors jacket open and a large red stain could be seen spreading across the white shirt "That's not good" said Owen as he opened his med kit, took out a large dressing and pressed it to the wound, he ran some saline over it to get a batter look, it was a deep gash about 5 inches across on the left hand side it started around the back so Jack had to move him so Owen could see the whole thing.

"We need to get this Jacket off so I can look at it properly"

"Jeeze Doc, why didn't you say anything?" Jack stroked the hair from the Doctor's face being mindful of the head wound.

The Doctors words were a little slurred "This? It's a scratch, I'm fine"

"No you're not" Owen and Jack responded together.

The Doctor looked a little affronted and tried to get up, "I'm the Doctor and I'm fine, I just need to get to the TARDIS and I'll be fine"

Jack held him in place and Owen responded "I'm a real Doctor and say you're not fine you need a hospital"

"NO, no hospitals. I've died twice whilst being in the care of you're hospitals, I don't see why you put so much faith in them"

Jack smiled and shook his head, "he's right if we take him to a hospital they're going to know he's not human and they might try to give him any number of drugs that could kill him"

The Doctor shuddered in Jacks arms and Jack held onto him a little tighter. "I'm fine Jack, honest, just leave me here"

Jack looked at him about to ask what he was playing at when he noticed the Doctor has a faint golden glow. "Oh no, Doc you are not leaving me, I'm not getting used to another you, I like this one"

"What are you talking about?" snapped Owen.

Jack looked at Owen and the rest of the team who were hovering nearby "I want you guys to head back to the SUV and no matter what you see don't come near" They all started to protest but he cut across them, "Just do it, please, go on get clear"

The Doctor coughed "Yes, you all need to get clear" he seemed to aim his words at Jack but spoke to the team, "Please just take him with you"

"I'm not leaving you" Jack vehemently spoke.

"Jack this could kill you." The glow was getting brighter now.

"I'll take that risk" Jack placed his hand on the now soaked dressing and nodded his head to Owen. Owen looked like he was about to argue but closed his med kit and took a few steps back. "Right you lot you heard the man lets back up" Owen made sure the other members were clear before catching up "Good Luck Jack"

Jack watched his team go before turning back to his friend.

"Jack, I'm tired and I'm not putting you at risk, will you please go?" the Doctors voice sounded strained and very tired, not full of his usual enthusiasm.

Jack ran his hand through the Doctors hair again and kissed him on the temple "It's ok, I trust you, just let it go"

The Doctors hand found his and he squeezed it, "I'm sorry" came the small reply before the gold light took over.

If Jack thought about it he was sure he had been killed in every single way known to man and a few alien methods too, but this hurt more than any.

The golden light was pouring out of the Doctor,light so bright that he had to close his eyes against the burning pain. He held tighter as he felt the energy flowing from the Doctor and into himself, he could still see it though his closed lids. He felt the body in his arms trembling he was almost vibrating. He could feel the regeneration energy as it burnt the skin on his face and hands and then it healing and burning again.

And then it was over, the body in his arms slumped.

Jack opened his eyes and blinked he had green spots in front of his eyes where he'd looked at the golden light. The man in his arms felt a little larger than he had been and was probably a little taller judging by the fact the suit trousers he had on looked about 3 inches to short.

The man moaned and Jack could see he had black hair now, maybe a little longer than it had been and still so scruffy that Jack could've run his hands through it all day.

The man looked up and Jack saw a wonderful set of blue eyes, so like the first Doctor he'd known.

"Hello" said the Doctor before he pulled a face running his tongue over the new teeth

"Hi" Jack couldn't help the flirtatious tone in his voice.

The Doctor rolled his eyes "Stop it", he pushed himself up so he was in a sitting position and took the dressing from his side, he stared at it for a while before looking at Jack, "Thanks"

Jack smiled "Anytime, though try not to make too often as I'm on my 3rd Doctor now" They both shared a sad smile before Jack took the Doctors hand, "I'm serious, you haven't got many lives left, you need to be more careful."

"You and I both know I can't just sit by and watch people suffer, if I can help I will." The Doctors face changed to a manic grin and he stood up "Right where to next?" Jack had just gotten to his own feet in time to catch the Time Lord as he fell back. "Ok, new legs I've got to get used to them" he inspected his feet and saw how short the hem of his trousers were "and change as soon as possible"

Jack shook his head "Oh no, the only place you are going is to bed to sleep I heard about your last regeneration"

"That was completely different" he nearly shouted but still let Jack guide him through the rubble. "Hang on," he turned to face Jack pointing an accusing finger at him "Is this just a way to get me into bed"

"Doc I am hurt you would think that low of me" The Doctor raised his eyebrow "besides I was going to let you be the big spoon and everything"

The Doctor shook his head "You get worse"

They had made it back to the confused members of Torchwood now.

"Jack who's this?" Gwen called.

"This is The Doctor" Gwen looked between Jack and the new man as if waiting for the punch line.

"Hello" the Doctor waved happily at her, "That's looks nasty let me" He looked at the cut she had on her arm and ran his hand over it, a golden glow came out of his hand and then the cut was gone all that was left was the blood and the tear in her sleeve.

Jack stared at the Doctor "I didn't know you could do that"

The Doctor smiled and raised his hand showing that there was a very faint glow around the palm "residual regeneration energy, I could power Cardiff for a year" the smile faded and he leant against Jack heavily, "maybe I could do with a quick nap"

"C'mon Doc lets get you back to the hub"

They all pilled into the SUV and headed back to the centre leaving the soldiers and UNIT to clear up. Jack sat in the back with the Doctor squeezed in beside him. The Doctor was asleep his head leaning heavily on Jack's shoulder before they had even got to the road.