The Commander dies when Lexa is ten. His death is a distant thing to Lexa, she has never so much as seen him, only hearing his edicts that send their people to war as he created conflict after conflict. It is not anyone's place to question the wisdom of the Commander but she knows her father died fighting his wars just as surely as she knows that the Mountain Men stole her mother from her.
When the Shaman arrives, Lexa is reluctant and annoyed to be brought before him along with the other village children. She wants to protest but Anya silences her with a look and Lexa instantly knows better. Anya is all she has left in this world and her First cares for her fiercely and loyally. Lexa knows if Anya needs her to do this, stupid as it might seem, then it must be done. Countless objects are brought before them and all he says is choose. Lexa rolls her eyes, not bothering to stop and stare like the other children. This is foolish and a waste of time, she could be training with Anya, she could be climbing trees and hunting deer. Instead, she's staring at an old pile of junk being judged by some ridiculous elder from the capitol.
Unthinking and uncaring, she picks a wooden flute.
Many years later, when she is grown and almost Anya's height, her First will scoff and drawl, "A Flute. Why, of all things, a flute?"
"I liked how it looked," Lexa would reply just as carelessly as she chose the object. Having no idea what it would later mean for her.
There are more tests given, seemingly meaningless questions asked and answered, and as it goes on, Lexa has a sinking suspicion she is winning something she did not even know she was in the running for. Anya's gaze goes from stern to steadying and then, most worrying, quiet concern. When the Shaman beams at Lexa, clasping her shoulders and declaring her to be a patentil, Anya steps forward. As if she knows what was coming as he insists Lexa be brought to the capitol for further examination. Lexa cannot help the uneasiness that seizes her even as Anya states that she will be joining them. The Shaman looks as if he might protest but decides against it. This is for the best as there is no argument to be had, Lexa is her Second and Anya will not leave her. The Shaman has no choice but to accept this and Lexa finds some measure of relief. Though she is still utterly confused by whatever is happening.
They decide to leave at daybreak and it is only when she is finally alone with Anya does Lexa get her answers. "It is part of the search," Anya murmured and Lexa's eyes go wide. She recalls something her mother once told her when she asked about how the Commander was chosen. That it wasn't the same as selecting who they sent to the Senate, which was accomplished by a vote of all the people in the village. Instead, the Commander was found through an extensive search of the tribe. Where they tested and questioned the children, until all the potentials were brought before the clergy. "The Commander is gone but his spirit will find another."
"Me?" Lexa's disbelief is palpable and the look Anya gives her lets her know her First understands the sentiment.
"They will test many children throughout our tribe," Anya continued, her voice and gaze calming, and Lexa feels herself relaxing as a result. "It will go on until the new Commander can be determined. You need not worry or fear. There is nothing to be done to allow nor prevent this, Lexa. It is or it is not."
Lexa nods her head and soon falls into a troubled sleep. She knows Anya is right. There is nothing she can do to stop this because she doesn't even know what they are looking for. The Commander is an abstract concept to her and she cannot conceive how picking a flute and confessing to a fear of the endless deep and the monsters hidden there could possibly link her to them. Still, it is not her place to question the ways of her people. They leave at daybreak and Lexa cannot help but look back at Tondc and her people who look after her with wide and worried eyes. Anya tells her quietly she will see them again but there is something twisting in her stomach and sinking in her heart that tells Lexa this isn't the truth. Though she has little reason to feel this way.
The journey to the capitol is long and it is only Anya and her training that keeps Lexa from going mad. The Shaman is always there, his eyes forever upon her, judging her every move and Lexa feels suffocated by it. She doesn't know what he wants from her, what he is looking for, and she wants to scream that he will not find it in her. That she is not the Commander but she bites her tongue and stills the words in her throat. She remembers what her mother told her, to choose her words carefully, that once they are released into the world they cannot be taken back, and that silence is preferred to nonsensical chatter. Her mother would never suffer fools and Lexa was raised in this vain. So she keeps her frustration inside, only releasing it during the hunt and in her training.
Anya knows and understands, helping Lexa work through it, her words and touch are a steadying reassurance. Her First is everything to her now, she is Lexa's guide in this world and Lexa has learned to trust her absolutely. Anya will not let any harm come to her and whatever madness this is, Lexa knows she will be safe as long as Anya remains by her side. Still, not even Anya can erase Lexa's anxiety when they finally arrive at Polis and she travels through its gates and sees the docks and the mighty ships of their fleet. It is one thing to hear of the greatness of their capitol and quite another to see for herself. She loves Tondc and all those she knows in it but Polis is of another world entirely. It is intimidating and awe inspiring in a way that Lexa can't quite fathom.
The Shaman says he must take Lexa to the clergy and Anya's hands are warm on Lexa's shoulders. "It is or it is not, Lexa," Anya said and Lexa nodded, feeling herself calm at these words. Then Anya lifted her gaze to stare at the Shaman and said with clear warning, "She remains my Second. You know the law. Until she is capable and I release her, she is in my care. Return her to me before midday. No matter what becomes of this, she is still to be a warrior."
Lexa knows the Shaman isn't pleased but there is little he can do about it. This is the law of their people. Even if it wasn't, Lexa suspected Anya would manage to get her way. Anya was the Second to their Praetor in Tondc. She's learned all she knows from the person chosen to govern over their village, including the necessities of politics. Besides that, Anya completed her warrior training sooner than any in the history of their tribe at the age of fourteen. It's because of this and who her First is, that Anya is already being groomed to lead her own settlement. Though, at seventeen, she could be considered a youth by some her words still hold sway if only due to the amount of battles she has seen and won. Lexa's First is a warrior of some importance and that means the Shaman cannot ignore her instructions. They must be heard and obeyed. Otherwise, there will be consequences that Lexa is certain he will not enjoy.
Days turn into weeks and Lexa turns eleven in the midst of all this. Until, slowly, the numbers dwindle, leaving only four children out of the original fifty and Lexa is stymied to find herself among them. Her irritation continues to mount as she is forever being examined and questioned and she repeats Anya's words like a mantra. It is or it is not. There is nothing to be done to allow nor prevent this. And that's what she tells herself when she is led blindfolded into the Wasteland.
Where they stop, she doesn't know, and she would panic except for Anya's voice in her ear as she is lifted off a horse. "Do not fear," Anya's voice is a command, "and remember everything I taught you."
What is this, Lexa wants to ask. Why is this happening? It is or it is not, she understands that, but she doesn't understand this. What purpose does this serve and why is Anya going along with it? Lexa wants to shout this into the sky but her First is already moving away. Lexa's hands are tied behind her back and she is forced onto the sand, into a sitting position. There is a quiet thump and the neigh of their horses and for a moment Lexa thinks they are alone. One of the other children is crying and Lexa suspects it's the boy from the capitol. She judged him soft from the start and she's so distracted by him that she's startled by the soft press of lips on her forehead and Lexa has to blink back the tears that form in her eyes.
"Anya," Lexa whispered in desperation and she wants to reach for her First, beg her to stay, to keep her safe, but she knows she cannot. The ropes tied tightly around her wrists remind her of that all too clearly.
"You are strong," murmured Anya and Lexa hears more voices, just as quiet and concerned, speaking to the others. Last words, she thinks. A callused hand holds her chin in a surprisingly gentle hold. "Find your way back." Anya paused and for a moment Lexa thought she was gone but then she felt the light brush of Anya's hair against her cheek and her voice was soft but authoritative in her ear. "Do not concern yourself with the others. You can help them by returning as quickly as you can. Do you understand me? Save yourself first, Lexa, and then we will rescue them."
"Yes," said Lexa, her throat bobbing. She is barely able to contain her tears then Anya is gone and Lexa can only feel bereft.
It is night, she knows that from the cool air, and the sounds she heard during their journey. There isn't much time before the sun will rise and bake their skin, exhausting their minds and dehydrating their bodies. Lexa squirms in her bonds, twisting her wrists as she tried to recall everything Anya taught her about escaping from bonds. It takes nearly four hours before she manages to free her hands. Ripping the blindfold from her eyes, Lexa sees one other has escaped. She had suspected as much from the grunts she heard and she sees there is little left of the supplies they were given. Though he was kind enough to leave them two skins of water, a pouch of food, and a newly sharpened knife. Lexa frowned, looking at the landscape, thinking about the sounds she heard. Anya had approached from the east and these things weren't Lexa's. They belonged to the other children... so they were most likely left by their parents. Which meant Anya would have left something for her.
Something she would have hidden from prying eyes and greedy hands because Anya would have known that it was folly to leave valuable supplies vulnerable to scavengers. Doing that was as good as giving them away. And so, Lexa scrambles forward on her hands and knees. But where to look? There is nothing here but desolation. It's a flat and burning waste consisting of sand and one sad little excuse of a tumbleweed bush to the east.
The east... the direction Anya approached her from. Lexa runs over to the bush, her hands digging into the sand frantically until she finds the buried pack of supplies. Three skins of water, dried meat, a head scarf, and her sword. She nearly sobs from the relief she feels and Lexa puts the scarf on quickly and slings her sword over her shoulder. Lexa paused at the cries of the two left in bondage. Duncan and Ingrid, the boy from the city and the girl from the sea. The girl she knows will escape, she is halfway out of her bonds already, but the boy...
Lexa goes to him and puts the knife in his hand and wishes him good luck and she starts her journey east. Surely Anya chose that direction for a reason. Maybe she was telling her Second the way in which to return. It was strange and superstitious and she had no proof of this but something in Lexa told her this was the truth of the matter. She had to believe that Anya was helping her however she could because if she was it gave Lexa a purpose and something to fight for. She would do as her First instructed, she would save herself, and she would find her way back.
The Wasteland earns its name and there is nothing to use for shelter when the sun rises and bores down on her, hot and relentless. Lexa decides to stop walking, thinking it useless to move in this heat, it's just exhausting herself further. She uses the scarf to cover herself and tries to not drink too much of her water as she wonders where the other boy, Franklin, is. He is clever, almost as much as she is, and is also being trained to be a warrior. Lexa doesn't think he would cover his tracks. Which means he isn't heading in the same direction as her. Wherever he is, Lexa hopes he is safe.
Anya would scold her for having sentimental thoughts like that. He had certainly stolen from the others, leaving just two skins of water, some food, and a knife, and he would've stolen from Lexa too if Anya hadn't the foresight to hide her supplies. Despite his faults, he's smart and strong, and Lexa knows those are qualities of the Woods Clan and he will be a good warrior when he is grown. If he is just given that chance.
It's only hours but it seems like days until the sun is low in the sky and the air is cool and Lexa begins her journey again. Ever eastward, rationing her food and drink, heading in what she hopes the direction Anya was leading her. She doesn't know what this is proving. What is this supposed to mean? Why must she do this? And if she finds Anya what happens next? If reaching the end of the Wasteland means that she is to be ordained the next Commander then Lexa doesn't want it. She just wants to return to Tondc and continue her training under Anya and become a strong warrior for her tribe. Lexa doesn't know what being a Commander entails and she doesn't want to know. The endless questions and tests nearly drove her to madness before and if they continue she knows she will not be able to keep her temper, no matter how many lessons Anya has given her on patience.
Besides, she's only eleven, how can she be the Commander? The voice of their people and a warrior reincarnated throughout the ages? It's idiocy to even consider it and if her mother lived then she would have laughed at the mere idea. Her mother...
On the third day, it is her face Lexa sees as she stumbles through the desert. Smiling wide and her arms reaching out, Lexa runs to her mother only to find nothing but more sand and desolation. There is no end to this wasteland and Lexa thinks perhaps escaping it is impossible. Maybe none of them possess the spirit of the Commander, maybe her destiny is to die out here, ending the her family line and returning to the earth.
There are only two skins of water left and Lexa doesn't know how much she should ration. It seems as if the desert never ends and Lexa wishes Anya had left her some sign of how long she would have to travel. She doesn't know how long she can keep this up without knowing when or if she will ever reach her destination. Lexa has never been good at working without a goal in mind. If she doesn't know what is meant to be the result she grows impatient with the entire process and it's what Anya lectures her about the most. The reason patience has been preached to her over and over.
By the morning of the fifth day, Lexa is convinced she is going to die in the waste. That she doesn't have the spirit of the Commander or even of the Trigedakru. She is nothing more than an eleven year old girl trying to convince herself she can become a woman and a warrior some day but Lexa knows that isn't going to happen. The sun beats relentlessly down on her and she curls into herself, feeling the sand burn her skin, and she curses her existence. When night comes, Lexa stands only out of force of habit, and she stumbles through the landscape. At first, it is the same as it always has been and Lexa is certain she will die out here. She has only one skin of water left and her food is nearly gone. She hadn't rationed correctly, she failed Anya, learned her lessons wrong and Lexa hopes that Anya will not blame herself for her demise.
Then slowly, the flat emptiness shifts into something else. A spark of green in the distance. The hint of a rolling hill and Lexa thinks it's another mirage at first but it doesn't disappear after an hour. It stays in her sight and it grows larger the more steps she takes and Lexa thinks this is what was to the east. This was what Anya was pointing her towards and she wants to run but it's all she can do to keep stumbling forward. She doesn't stop as night turns into day, her gaze focused on the green growing ever closer and the sound of horses and the sight of an encampment. They were here, they were waiting.
Anya running towards her is the last thing Lexa sees before she lets the black nipping at the edges of her mind take hold.
How long she has been sleeping, Lexa doesn't know but it feels as if it wasn't anywhere long enough. She is still bone weary when she wakes and Anya is by her side in the tent. Her gaze attentive and filled with concern the likes of which Lexa hasn't seen since she lost her mother. Lexa tries to speak but her throat is dry as the desert she's just escaped and Anya immediately offers her a skin of water and Lexa drinks from it greedily.
"Yu Heda," Anya said this solemnly and Lexa chokes on the water, making Anya form a hint of a smile. She cannot speak, her voice is gone, but she croaks her disbelief and Anya pushes her back onto the pallet, telling her silently to rest. "It is or it is not," she reminded gently, "now that it is, you must accept it." An all consuming fear and denial seizes her and this must be all too obvious because Anya moves closer, cupping Lexa's cheek in her hand. "Calm yourself. Do not fear the unknown. Unless you wish to live your life like prey instead of the warrior I will make you." Lexa sinks back onto the pallet, her mind racing like the wings of a hummingbird, and her body aching with exhaustion. "Sleep now. I will stay with you."
Lexa doesn't need to ask if Anya means this in the present or the future. Her First would never leave her, of this Lexa is certain. This is the only comfort Lexa has to cling to as she drifts back into unconsciousness, already dreading whatever is to come next.
The Commander is made as much as they are divinely chosen. At least, that's what Lexa is told when she returns to the capitol and is brought before the Clergy of Shamans. All the signs point to the Commander's spirit choosing her but that isn't enough. One has to prove themselves worthy. Apparently that was done through lessons.
Lexa had thought the questions and the inane tests horrible enough but this was to be another form of torture. She was told she would have to remain in the capitol for at least a year to begin her education. That she must learn everything the previous Commanders had. This included teachings on world and tribal history, languages, reading and writing, the study of math and the sciences, and the most important, war strategy and tactics. Lexa looked to Anya with silent and sinking despair, wanting none of this. When they are finally left alone, Anya clasped her shoulders and asked, "How is a sword made?"
"With steel and fire," said Lexa, frowning and shifting from foot to foot.
"You must become the sword of our people," said Anya soft and serious, kneeling to look into Lexa's eyes. "We will forge you into the Commander and this is how. It won't be easy and it will seem like a thankless task but you have been chosen, Lexa, and you are strong. Do not give them reason to doubt you."
There was a hidden warning in Anya's words and Lexa wondered at it. She heard whispers in her brief time in the capitol about the truth behind the Commander's recent passing. That perhaps it wasn't their enemies but one his own citizens who was responsible. He had led their people to death and disaster far too many times and there were some who felt his leadership was false. It was rare but not unheard of that the Commander is chosen but later is found to be an imposter. This happened only twice in the history of their tribe but the result had been bloody and brutal revolutions that ended in the false Commander's death.
If you give them reason to doubt you, your fate will be the same. That was the unspoken message. There was no escaping this, not unless she attempted to flee her tribe, and even then Lexa was sure they would come after her. It reflected badly on the Woods Clan if their chosen leader ran like a coward, seeking refuge in another tribe. Such a thing would paint them as fools and their leadership as weak, something that could be easily overtaken.
Lexa could live proudly as the Commander or she could die shamefully as an imposter. There were no other options to be had. With that in mind, she gritted her teeth, stowed her complaints, and presented herself for tutoring. All while trying to grasp the idea that she was somehow destined to lead her people.
Such a thing just didn't seem possible.
Her home in Polis is vast and impressive and Lexa had never imagined such a building could exist. It's from the days long past and like everything else in their capitol it had cracked and crumbled. Only for them to later restore its former greatness, along with the rest of their city. The grounds are green and overgrown and Lexa finds some relief in the trees and the sweet smells of nature that continue to surround her. Every day she's immersed in her lessons from sun up until sun down, her only breaks coming in the form of Anya's training. It's one thing that doesn't feel like a trial to Lexa because it comes naturally to her, the sweeps, kicks, and punches. The smooth form of the katas Anya teaches her and how to make the sword an extension of her very body. Lexa delights in these things and the freedom she finds as they lose themselves in the woods that surround the Government House, hunting for their dinner. She feels more herself in these times than anything else and she wonders what she is becoming, stuck forever in these lessons, learning endless fact after fact, lost as to how they might help her people.
"There is wisdom in their words, Lexa," Anya advises her as they butcher the deer Lexa had killed with a perfect shot of her arrow. "You must learn the things your people cannot. They don't have the time to spend buried in old books, they are trapped in the realities of the here and now. They concern themselves with their survival but you must be able to think of more than that, to bring them to something better."
"And I will do that learning about the old world and geometry?" asked Lexa skeptically, yanking back the hide aggressively, a frown deep on her features.
"You will expand your mind," said Anya quietly, looking at Lexa with a solemn expression. "I can think of nothing that suits the Commander more."
Lexa sighed heavily and continued in her task, not understanding, but silently promising to do as her First advised. Anya had never led her astray and Lexa did not believe she would start now. After all, it was only Anya's presence that made her being a prisoner to these lessons somewhat bearable. "I know it must be done," said Lexa finally, "I just wish I could have some freedom. I don't understand how the Commander can be kept a captive by her own Senators."
"They wish to see you protected," said Anya carefully and Lexa lifted her head, looking at her First with an attentive gaze. "There are those who would see you harm, Lexa. Enemies of the Woods Clan who do not wish us to have the blessing of a new Commander. The Senators don't want our people to be deprived of your leadership before you have the chance to demonstrate it." Lexa sighed at this and returned to her work, resigning herself to a life of spent trapped indoors with the only escape provided by Anya's training. "However," Anya went on and Lexa darted her eyes up hopefully, "I will talk with them. It does not speak well of our tribe's courage to hide our Commander away from the world in which she is meant to lead us."
The next day Lexa is introduced to her bodyguard, Gustus, and she is allowed to venture out into the city square. It's sprawling and full of life, her people crowd the streets, selling their goods and conducting business. Children race past on the way to school, soldiers train in the courtyard, city guards patrol to keep the peace, and it's everything Lexa could have imagined and more. This is her city, her capitol, the shining light of the Woods Clan, and she is meant to protect it, to help it thrive and for the first time Lexa feels as if she understands what this calling truly means. Gustus puts a heavy hand on her shoulder, grinning widely, saying the Commander should taste the best food Polis has to offer and takes her to a small restaurant on the edge of the city. He shouts out their order and sits in the chair facing the street, his body blocking hers from view and Lexa beams at him.
"Heda," Gustus is the first to call her this and Lexa starts at the word before realizing that is who she is now. Still, there is a certain weight, a solemnity to hearing her title in Trigedasleng instead of the common tongue. "This is your city and these are your people. They shouldn't be kept from you." Lexa dipped her head, silently acknowledging the truth of his words and Gustus offered her a broad smile in response. "I want you to know, I serve you, not the Senate."
Unable to help herself, Lexa laughed, all the while knowing it wasn't at all Commander appropriate behavior. Still, Gustus smiled and laughed with her, his strong hands slapping their table as he shouted for their drinks. "Thank you, Gustus," Lexa breathed. "I appreciate your kindness."
"You are Heda, you shouldn't be kept inside like an invalid," declared Gustus heartily, putting his elbows on the table and leaning forward. "Studies and learning are important but so are your wants and desires. I am yours to command, Heda, and I will only do as you ask. I promise you that."
She could only nod and swallow the lump in her throat, unused to such things being said to her. Anya was her First and Lexa knew she cared for her, that she had Lexa's best interests at heart, but no one had ever pledged themselves to her in such an earnest manner. Even the Senate and the Shamans had not done such a thing. Instead, they instructed and taught her, judging her with silent eyes and ever alert ears, while Gustus gave her acceptance and allegiance. Taking in his wide smile as he accepted their drinks, she swore that she would not betray his trust.
"You were of the City Guard?" asked Lexa, taking a sip of her drink after Gustus motioned it was safe to consume. It was a juice made from the local berries that she had never tasted before and was sweet and pleasing on her tongue, making her wish it had been available in Tondc.
"Myself and my brother, Johan," said Gustus proudly. "He serves as Captain of the City Guard now that he has retired from the games." Lexa blinks and Gustus can see the slight confusion in her eyes and he slaps his hands on his knees. "You must see the games, Heda! It is greatest spectacle our capitol can offer. It is the one place you can witness the skills of our best warriors when they are not in battle."
"But no lives are lost," said Lexa, a frown clinging to her features.
Even in Tondc she heard of the games and she wondered at their purpose. Their village Praetor had spoken disdainfully of the games, saying they foolishly injured their best warriors for nothing more than sport. Lexa couldn't understand the good in staging fights when they had so many real ones they were forced into. Especially fights that would needlessly risk lives on something worthless like bragging rights and a bit of gold in their pocket. All their people were precious to the Woods Clan and Lexa couldn't comprehend how that belief could possibly exist within the games.
"None are killed but there are injuries," Gustus said, speaking earnestly as he saw the seriousness in Lexa's expression. "It is good for warriors, Heda. Sometimes being at peace makes a soul uneasy and you cannot just return to your old life. The games help them deal with that and keep their skills fresh, so they will be ready to face our enemies." He paused, shifting in his seat, and offered, "I think it is blessed that we have them. They help our warriors greatly."
"I would like to see them then," said Lexa, smiling at him, feeling it grow wider as he released an excited noise in response. Chuckling again, Lexa took a drink from her juice and gazed out at the courtyard. Watching over her people and feeling a strange measure of peace for the first time in a very long while. Perhaps being the Commander wouldn't be so awful if she was meant to lead people like Gustus.
From that day forward, Lexa was allowed to explore the capitol with Gustus by her side. She wandered its streets and spoke with her people, learning of their joys and sorrows, and trying her best to understand how she might help them as their Commander. With them in her mind, her lessons no longer seemed a time of tedium and torture, but instead a necessity in order to lead them. Through her journeys in the city, she found purpose in her every day life and it wasn't too long after this that she was brought before her Generals to begin her tutoring on war strategy and tactics. It was then that she met one of their brightest new Generals, who heralded from a settlement just to the south of her own.
Indra was fierce, much like Anya, but there was an vehemence to her that Anya simply didn't have because of how well Lexa knew her First. They had grown up together and had seen one another through the best and worst of times and Lexa knew more of Anya than any other person and that kept her from being distant from Lexa. There was no such familiarity with Indra and in her, Lexa saw shades of herself. She saw a vision of how she could present herself to her enemies and perhaps her people as the Commander. Someone to respect and sometimes fear, someone that would inspire them to reach ever greater heights.
It was for this reason that Lexa clung to Indra's every word and heeded her lessons like no other save Anya.
The days turned into months until a year passed and at the age of twelve, Lexa was brought before the Senate who looked at her with such pride that Lexa felt her heart would burst from emotion. These were the ones chosen by their people to lead, two from each of their eight settlements, and they represented all that was good in the Woods Clan. What set them apart from the savagery of the Ice Clan and other nations that held their people under an iron boot and forced their fellow men into slavery. They looked at her with a reverence that Lexa knew she would make it her mission to keep forever in their gaze.
Priscilla, the chosen Speaker, stood on the floor of the Senate and beamed as her voice rang clearly throughout their halls, "You have met and exceeded the expectations of your people, Heda, but there is more for you to learn and far much more for you to see. We ask you now, would you submit to leaving the capitol and journeying throughout your territory? All the people of the Trigedakru deserve to be in your presence and it would do you good to see them with your own eyes. To learn of the triumphs and the tragedies which face all of our people so we all might learn how best to serve them."
Distantly, she had known this day was coming, Anya had told her as much and Indra had hinted at it. The day when she would be set free to travel her lands and see her people. When she would finally have a chance to prove herself and use the education she had been given. As much as Lexa was nervous at the idea of it, she was thrilled by the possibilities. She would get to see things she only heard of in stories and she would be able to speak with her people, to know them and to have them know her, and as Lexa grew more into the reality of the Commander that was the one thing she held dear. Her people like Anya, Gustus, Indra, all of those left behind in Tondc, and her new friends in the capitol, they gave her strength and inspiration. They were the reason she felt the need to rise herself up and make herself into the Heda they thought she could be and if she met more of them then surely this feeling would only increase.
Which is why Lexa welcomed this idea whole heartedly. So she returned Priscilla's smile and cleared her throat, trying to erase her anxiety and project confidence as she spoke to her Senate, "I will go on this journey and I will see our people myself. I will know them and they will know me. Then I will return to the capitol wiser and more worthy of your trust." Lexa clenched her right hand and thumped her chest, a longtime symbol of a promise kept, as she continued, "I am Heda and I swear I will earn that title."
The Senate erupted into applause and Lexa dipped her head in acknowledgement, a tiny smile curving on her lips. One that became full blown when she exited the chamber and Anya walked at her side, murmuring low and humorous, "You have become a wordsmith."
"You were the one who said I should expand my mind," Lexa reminded, arching an eyebrow and smirking when Anya released a bark of laughter.
They spent the next two weeks preparing for Lexa's journey as it was to be no easy or quick task. She would spend the better part of two years traveling throughout the Woods Clan territories, seeing all of their settlements, and looking at the areas in which the Senate thought they should expand. There was talk of creating more villages near Dover, in order to protect the unguarded land between there and Port News, as well as fortifying their defenses around Delphi. Some spoke of forming a village between Alti and Delphi that could help fortify their larger settlements which would soon have bigger populations than even Polis at the rate they were expanding. Hearing this was thrilling to Lexa as Tondc was a relatively small settlement and she never knew they had villages that might surpass Polis in size and the very concept brought such a deep sense of pride to her. These were her people and Lexa could not wait to see them for herself and she eagerly attended planning meetings for her trip when she was not submitting to Anya's training or her tutors.
The day they left, the citizens of Polis gathered at the gates and shouted words of blessing and Lexa sat astride her horse, dressed in her best attire, her clothing dark and heavy on her shoulders, meant to protect her from the elements and any attacks. In her mind, she knew she was a child still but she was determined to come home a true warrior, someone worthy of leading her people. There were moments when she thought it impossible, that she would never be enough, that she couldn't become such a person but then she would look at one of her people. Their belief absolute and shining in their eyes as they looked upon her and suddenly Lexa couldn't bear even the idea of being a failure. She would not be a false Commander, she would give them proof she was meant for this, that she was their intended leader and not an imposter foisted upon them by a cruel trick of fate. Men like her father would not be led to their deaths through folly and madness as the previous Commander had done. Lexa would listen to her Generals, she would learn from them and heed their words, something she had learned her predecessor had failed to do.
Tondc was the first stop on their travels and it did Lexa's heart good to see her birthplace. Her people greeted her with eagerness and Lexa felt like her former self for a time while she was there. She spoke to her Praetor about the goings on in the village and watched as Anya was welcomed warmly back into the fold with her fellow warriors. They spoke of increasing the number of scouts and look outs, to protect them from the ever present threat of the Mountain Men, and Lexa left her former home after three months, glad to have been there and wishing she could offer them more help. The Mountain was a problem they would have to solve and she said as much to accompanying Generals, watching as their faces turned solemn and dark. Each of them promising to think of ways to end the monsters who continued to prey on their people, transforming them from men into beasts, and slaughtering them by the hundreds.
From there they move onto Ricksburg, Chmon, and finally the fishing metropolis of Port News. There she learns how to sail, fishes for the daily catch, and truly experiences what it is to fear the monsters in the deep. She celebrates her thirteenth birthday with her people and brings down a Razortooth, spearing it with her own hands, laughing and hugging a fearful and wide eyed Gustus who scolded her in his anxiety over losing his charge to its gaping maw. Lexa wishes for more than the four months she spends in the settlement, excitedly telling their Praetor, Isaac, how much she loves the city. He laughs and clasps her shoulders, telling Lexa she is the Commander but now she is also a sea hunter, and she must return to them soon for all their people love her.
When it is time for her to leave for Dover, the captains of the fleet fight over the honor to take her across the bay, and Lexa beams at them, amused by their agreement that whoever brings in the largest catch will win the right to transport her group. Isaac laughs, full and hearty, over dinner as he says that he only allowed this foolishness because of the extra food it would bring them in the upcoming cold season. Lexa smiles and they discuss the idea of creating a settlement between Port News and Dover. Though there aren't any other tribes in the area, he doesn't like the idea of that expanse of land left open to the Reapers and any other who might wander into their holdings. Lexa studies the maps and finds she agrees with him, sending word to the Senate that their desire for expansion in this region was correct.
As if they knew about her discussion with Isaac, Reapers attack them the moment they set foot on the open land between the coastline and Dover. This reinforces Lexa's belief they must create a settlement here for the safety of her people in Port News and Dover. It will be hard going but if they gather the heartiest of their people for the task she knows they can make a success of it. Their group is down six soldiers in the attack and Lexa prepares their pallets and burns their bodies as is her duty. These are the first men to die for her and it sits heavy on her heart and it sparks something in her. She already hated the Mountain for stealing her mother and turning their men into beasts but the rage is something deeper and more solid in her now. It is a silent promise she makes only to herself that she will see them destroyed before her time as the Commander is at an end. She does not know how she will achieve this but she will see it done, because while the Mountain continues to exist, there can be no true peace for her people. That is a certainty.
Dover greets their weary group warmly and they spend three freezing months of winter sheltered in its walls. Pauna are a constant threat and Lexa learns how to hunt the great cats that prey on their people and she hears the constant whispers of the Ice Nation. Their territories are almost as large as the Woods Clan and though they exist far to the north there is talk of their King becoming bolder after learning of the death of the previous Commander. Their scouts are slowly encroaching on the territories surrounding Delphi and Dover fears they might be next. Lexa consults with Roosevelt, the oldest and wisest of their Praetors, who has been at his post for nearly two decades, having served as the Eastern Magistrate before that. He thinks the settlement between Port News and Dover is a necessity but the Ice Nation is a far greater threat than any Reapers and they must fortify their northern defenses if they are to survive.
Lexa cannot find it in her to argue as she meets with her warriors in Dover and they speak in hushed tones of the brutality of the Ice Nation. Telling her that if you are not slaughtered and left in pieces you would be taken into slavery. Their voices are rough and their eyes hold back tears as they spoke of those trapped in the chains of slavery. How they felt it a crueler fate than to be killed and some clutch to her, falling to their knees, begging their Heda to find a way to free their people.
"We are Trigedakru, we live free or we die," one of her warriors proclaims heatedly and Lexa nods her agreement.
That is foremost in her mind when she learns they have captured Ice Nation spies on the boundaries of Delphi. Although it is still in the depths of winter and it's not wise to leave the safety of the settlement, Lexa demands they journey north, taking with her seventy five of Dover's finest warriors. She will not allow this threat to pass unnoticed and as they begin the journey, she orders her three Generals, Indra, Quint, and Vera to leave her and head to Delphi with the warriors from Dover. If the Ice Nation is going to attack, they will be of far better use there than at her side. They leave immediately and Lexa also decides to split her personal contingent in half, ignoring Anya's protests, declaring they would serve her by aiding her Generals and her people at risk in the north. Anya curses her stubbornness and Gustus laughs long and loud and Lexa loves them both for staying by her side throughout this. She's half mad with worry and fear as they travel towards Delphi and they are four days from the city when a messenger finds them.
"Heda," she gasped, falling from her horse, her eyes wide and anxious, "the Ice Nation has attacked."
They water the horse and feed its rider, warming her with extra furs as they ask for information. The Ice Nation sent a small war party of no more than two hundred men to Delphi, attempting to breach its defenses just seven days earlier. As soon as their scouts relayed the news, Indra sent the messenger to warn Lexa, in case there were more coming from the west to attack Lexa during her journey. Lexa is grim as she listens to the news and she wants to know how their defenses are holding. The messenger is hopeful, speaking of how their Praetor spent most of the summer increasing their defenses once they spotted the first Ice Nation scouts in their outer territory. Lexa is glad to hear this but anxious to reach Delphi. She doesn't know what help she might provide but it is her duty to be with her people in their times of difficulty. More than that, Lexa wants to stand by their side and offer whatever support she can give them.
For the next three days they travel at a constant pace and Lexa will not allow them to stop until they reach the outer perimeter of Delphi. Once there, she's quickly greeted by Quint, and he speaks of the threat the Ice Nation presents. They remain outside their main gates, but have yet to approach from the east or west, only attacking their northern defenses and he thinks it is a trap. As a result, they've sent scouts in other directions to search for the enemy. The Ice Nation has attacked with catapults and fire and Lexa scowls, hearing of how they've breached their defenses but glad to hear their main wall stays strong.
Lexa is escorted into the city walls and she meets with the Praetor, Keegan, who speaks proudly of their defenses. She talks of the watch towers and their plans to scald the attacking forces, dumping the contents of the large fire pots on the Ice Nation soldiers the moment they get too close to the main gates. The numbers have dwindled from two hundred to less than a hundred due to their warriors and Keegan thanks her for the reinforcements from Dover. When Lexa meets with Indra, the General informs her they have sent word to Alti, and the city is on the lookout for any Ice Nation attacks. Lexa questions about the nearby clan of the Boat People, wanting to know if they would provide any aid if needed. It's then that she learns of how the Ice Nation launched a similar attack on the Boat People over a year ago and how they asked for assistance from the Trigedakru and the previous Commander refused them. They always had an easy alliance with the Boat People but it had since soured as a result and Lexa cursed his idiocy. Indra was silent but she could sense her agreement and Lexa vowed when this was over she would work to repair the alliances ruined by her predecessor's poor decisions.
The Ice Nation doesn't give up easily and it's as Quint predicts, they are hiding greater forces to the west. Forces they were warned of thanks to riders from Alti who approach with their own contingent of warriors. The Trigedakru arrive in overwhelming numbers from the west and the ninety something warriors of the Ice Nation are overwhelmed by the two hundred which arrive, enraged, through the thickening snow of Alti's stronghold. Lexa refuses to hide behind the walls of Delphi and rides out to meet their enemies with Anya and Gustus at her side, her face darkened by the hood she wears. Her warrior training is not yet complete but she doesn't allow that to keep her from this fight. Her face isn't painted, Anya hasn't granted her that achievement, but Lexa tries to inspire her warriors all the same. She shouts her encouragement and she unsheathes her sword and she cuts down whatever Ice Nation soldiers she can reach with her own hands. Gustus stays by her side and Anya rides ahead, clearing their path, and it is well into the night when their enemies retreat.
They scream their victory to the sky and Lexa knows what it is to be grateful to live. She had never seen a battle like this before and she has never been prouder of her people. Together they return to the safety of Delphi and watch as the last of the Ice Nation soldiers flee and are burned by the arrows of their soldiers on the wall. Inside the city, Lexa retreats to her temporary quarters, sinking onto the bed and Anya keeps the Generals and the Praetor from her, saying she needs her rest. Gustus kneels at her feet, removing her boots, and she stares at him with weary eyes, lost as to what to say. They had defeated their enemy but hundreds of her people were dead. The fires would burn for endless days and nights, sending them onto the next life and Lexa knew she would have to say something to the ones left behind. Something that would comfort or explain why this had occurred and what she would do to stop it from happening again. Revenge was the furthest thing from her mind. No, they had to fortify their defenses first, and recover their warriors best they could.
"Emo gonplei ste odon," said Gustus softly. "They fought bravely and now their spirits are free. You were at their side and they saw you, I know it brought them the same pride and peace that it did myself. There is nothing more you can do for them."
"Gustus," said Lexa, her voice a rasp and her eyes wet with unshed tears, "my predecessor. Did you know him?"
"Yes, Heda," said Gustus, his jaw clenched and his eyes dark. "I fought in many of his wars. Myself and all of my siblings. Only Johan and I survived. Gerard, Titus, and Aura were lost to his battles." He pulled the socks from her feet and gazed up at her with lidded eyes. "Why do you ask this?"
"The more I learn of him, the more his mistakes become clear," said Lexa simply. "I do not wish to repeat them. You would tell me if I did, wouldn't you?"
There is just a moment of silence and then Gustus is scooting forward and this giant of a man suddenly seems like a little boy in front of her. Lexa is just days from her fourteenth birthday but in this moment she feels very much like the mother and Gustus is her son. "Heda," he breathed, his voice full of reverence as he held her hands. "I knew nothing of the Commander's spirit under his reign but I have known nothing but during my time with you. I swear I will tell you if such a thing was ever to occur but I cannot see it happening. You care for your people, I have seen it with my own eyes, and that is why I will serve you always, until the end of my days." He lowered his head after saying this and Lexa touched his hair, stroking it gently and suddenly she felt at peace.
"Leave me, Gustus," said Lexa in a whisper, offering a wan smile as he looked up at her. "We both need rest, for our fight is not over."
"Yes, Heda," Gustus replied, returning her smile and leaving her quarters with a quiet click of the door.
Alone now, Lexa collapses on the bed, and blows out the nearby candle, allowing herself to sink into an uneasy sleep. She will wake with the dawn, meet with her Generals and the Praetor, and prepare for any future attacks from the Ice Nation. They will not take her city and slaughter her people. If this was a test of the new Commander, Lexa is determined to send the Ice King a message. She will not seek war blindly as the former Commander had done but she will not let her people be killed and kidnapped into slavery. The Woods Clan is the largest and the greatest of the twelve clans and Lexa will see them grow ever greater in both their number and in their victories. Whether they be victories in war or improving the lives of her citizens, all held equal importance in her eyes.
Two months pass before Lexa is ready to leave Delphi. In that time they fought off another attack from the Ice Nation and manage to gather intelligence on the invading forces. They weren't a true army, merely a smaller force sent to test Lexa's meddle as the Commander. Though she had suspected as much, some part of her is glad to have this confirmed. If he wanted to know her strength, Lexa gave her answer by returning the charred body of his General, dragged on on a pallet by the lone Ice Nation soldier that she allowed to live.
Telling him to deliver this message to his King: The Trigedakru will suffer no invaders.
With those words, Lexa finishes the last leg of her journey, and arrives in Alti, met by cheers from her people and an hearty handshake from the city Praetor, Connor, whom she thanks warmly for his help in the battles at Delphi. She tells him of the plans she's begun with Keegan to create a settlement between the two cities, one which will serve as both a lookout post and an army base. Connor is jubilant at the idea and declares that he will begin recruiting citizens to help form the new settlement immediately. Lexa is pleased by his enthusiasm and tells him of the Praetor she has chosen to lead the future village, saying that she will be along shortly, perhaps within the month to speak with him further.
Her birthday passes without mention and with it, Lexa realizes she has been traveling for two years. When she started this tour of their territory, she could hardly comprehend being the Commander and now she feels almost as if it is second nature. Her lessons have continued and they aren't the tortures she once recalled. Instead they have become a comfort, something that brings normalcy to her day, and Lexa is looking forward to learning the ways of the Horse Clan as she has learned all she can of the Boat People. Their former allies weigh heavy on her mind and Lexa knows the moment she steps foot in the capitol she must meet with the Senate to talk about rebuilding their alliances. They will have no true peace until they can live side by side with all twelve clans. Including the Ice Nation, as impossible as that seems.
Two months pass and it is springtime when they finally return to Polis. After all her travels, Lexa has come to view the capitol as her home, and she welcomes its embrace. Gustus is ecstatic to be back and even Anya seems pleased that their journey has come to an end. They are met by the clergy and Lexa sees the approval shining on their faces and it's startling to recognize this. Just as startling as their proclamation that she has earned the tattoo that marks her as their holy leader. Lexa is stunned and can only dip her head low in acknowledgement, thanking them for their faith and support. Her tattoo takes precedence over everything else and Lexa spends the first two days of her return in session with the Shamans, completing her markings and speaking with them about her travels. On the third day, she meets with her advisors and talks about the settlement she wants to create between Delphi and Alti, the threat of the Ice Nation, and her desire to reclaim their alliances of old. Indra agrees with her many of her thoughts, saying they are wise, as does Quint.
There is so much to do and Lexa is eager to begin work but she's informed a celebration is going to be held in her honor. The games she was told so much about would be commencing for a special event. The best gladiators the games have seen, both current and retired, are going to fight in the coliseum in her honor and Lexa cannot help but be excited. Gustus is thrilled to announce that Johan's star pupil and one of the most popular fighters the games has ever seen will be returning to the competition solely for Lexa's enjoyment.
"She retired to serve in the Senate just this year," Gustus announced, his voice loud and boisterous, and Lexa smiled, looking back at him. They were being escorted to their seats in the coliseum. Which were closest to the field and offered the greatest view. Anya smirked at Lexa's side, rolling her eyes at Gustus, whom she had come to regard as a brother during the two years they spent together on the road. "But she is still one of our fiercest competitors, Heda. I'm sure she will win this day!"
"I look forward to seeing her fight," said Lexa warmly, affection and amusement lacing her voice as she took her seat.
Gustus sat eagerly next to her while Anya was more relaxed, leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees as she looked at the fighting floor. The grass was green and thick on the field and the gladiators were hidden in the tunnels on the sides of the coliseum. Several minutes passed before Erwan, the Praetor of Polis, entered to loud applause and he waved his hands for silence. He spoke at length about the recent battle with the Ice Nation and when she was mentioned, Lexa rose to her feet and was met by thunderous applause which she remained standing for, only sitting when her people were quiet once again. Then the gladiators were announced and one by one, they ran out onto the field and Gustus leaned closer, telling her their strengths and weaknesses. They were halfway through the roster when the crowd roared its approval the loudest yet and Gustus formed a wide grin on his features.
"Costia!" declared Gustus happily, pointing at the lanky warrior who ran onto the field. "My brother's Second! She will surely be victorious."
Lexa frowned and leaned forward, adapting Anya's pose as she studied Costia. She was tall and her skin dark brown with a beautiful bronze glow, as if she was blessed by the sun itself, with a head of curly black hair. "How old is she, Gustus?" asked Lexa, not wanting to be skeptical but thinking she looked the youngest out of all the warriors in the competition. Something that might not be to her advantage.
"Nineteen years. Which makes her Anya's junior by two," said Gustus proudly. He raised an eyebrow and grinned at the deadpan look Anya gave him at her name being mentioned. "And you know how deadly your First is, so you should not judge Costia to be any lesser, Heda."
"She is a Senator," said Lexa, already curious to know more, watching as Costia laughed with her fellow gladiators.
"She is loved by the people," said Gustus and Lexa was instantly reminded of the loud roar of applause that greeted the woman when she ran out onto the field, "almost as much as yourself."
No reply came from Lexa, she simply kept her gaze focused on the field, watching the woman in question. Then Erwan announced the first fight and soon Lexa was focused on the field of battle. The tournament was set through ten rounds total, with the twelve gladiators fighting six individual rounds until a winner is selected from each, then six fighting for three more rounds, until the final three are selected for the winning match. The fights are fast paced and Lexa finds herself on the edge of her seat for almost all of them. When Costia's match is announced the crowd roars to life, louder and more enthusiastic in their cheers, and Lexa cannot help but root for her as she faces off against her much larger opponent.
Their fight is perhaps the shortest yet as Costia uses his strength against him and quickly disarms and renders him unconscious with the butt of his own axe, slinging it over her shoulder with a broad smile as the crowd screams their approval. She might be a Senator but she is still a warrior and Lexa is thrilled by her victory. Something that doesn't go away as she watches Costia win in the second round of fights and continue onto the final match where she fights two men who far exceed her in age and size. Lexa watches with her heart in her throat and she shouts her approval for Costia's possible victory and moans when it seems she might face defeat. It is only when the match is at an end and both men are sprawled, defeated on the field does Lexa relax and shout her relief, calling Costia's name, only to find herself silenced by the warrior's dark and friendly gaze landing on her as she flashes Lexa an easy smile.
Lexa's attention remains on Costia as Erwan congratulates her and Gustus claps loudly at her side. When all the gladiators leave the field after receiving the thanks and the appreciation of the audience, Lexa rises to her feet and meets Gustus' smiling face. "Did you enjoy it, Heda?" he questioned happily.
"It was truly a spectacle, just as you said," said Lexa, smiling and feeling altogether entertained by his eagerness.
"They fought twice as hard due to your presence, I'm certain," Gustus declared heartily, moving to protect her as they prepared to exit the coliseum.
"Then I will have to thank them all personally at the upcoming feast," said Lexa firmly, holding back a laugh at the delighted expression Gustus wore on hearing this. All while dark eyes and a knowing smile painted a beautiful picture in her mind, making Lexa suddenly look forward to the next few hours.