Izaya Orihara always knew he was strange. Slightly, different from those that surrounded him. It was small observations that built up over time that made him have this realization. He noticed he never quite reacted as the other children around him did. His parents had long treated him as if there was nothing out of the norm, though he had vague recollections of his father fussing and his mother reassuring him. Izaya as far as he knew was normal.

He had long assumed all humans felt like he did. He had recognized that his parents seemed to have a wider range of reactions and facial features, but they were grown ups. Separate beings that did things that Izaya could not quite understand.

It was when he entered school for the first time that he began to understand the sheer difference that was between himself and other children. Between himself and humans.

Izaya being the precocious child he was also quickly learned that these differences were quick to be noticed by others. And what was different was also what was also what was hated, ignored, and pitied. Izaya realized he did not truly care if his classmates did not like him or that he even heard some of his teachers call him creepy. What he did find himself finding uncomfortable was being forced to speak to the school counselor when his teachers became too concerned.

Standing out was becoming bothersome and interfering so Izaya made the decision to begin acting like other children. To become "normal". He was not quite sure what adjustments his behavior needed though so he began to observe the other children in his class. If he could watch them he could see the difference between them and himself and begin to pretend to react accordingly. Izaya was a smart child, everyone at least agreed upon that, learning correct behaviors wouldn't be any different than the manners his father taught him.

This decision to carefully observe his classmates was perhaps the single most important decision of his life. Children, in Izaya's opinion, were the best of humanity. Because they were humanity at its most pure and full form without the trappings of society to disguise their honest feelings and emotions. Children expressed because they had yet to be taught otherwise.

By observing his classmates Izaya was introduced to the varied emotions that existed amongst humans. Rather than just learn to mimic Izaya became fascinated. His classmates taught him so much, revealing a range of emotions he had never experienced before on their faces.

One of the first observations he ever made was about a girl who had been much like Izaya, slightly different due to her accent. This had led to quiet bullying and teasing. The girl had been alienated and cried all the time. Izaya chose her for his observations because as someone who was also alone she stood out.

He could not understand how she could care about the words of others so much. And then she did something unexpected. She began to change. First her accent became less and less pronounced as she carefully began to mimic the voice of those around her. Then her curly hair began to be straightened. Slowly, she transformed herself into something more acceptable to others, by copying the other children. It was a plan like Izaya's. But it was the feeling behind it that was different. The girl had truly begun to dislike herself and what's more she thirsted for the approval of her tormentors. When she was accepted Izaya thought perhaps that was the end of what he could learn from her. Now she would fade into the background.

Instead something even more confusing happened. The girl began to bully others as well. Now that she was somewhere she wouldn't be hurt rather than help others like her, she chose to hurt them the same way.

It made Izaya's heart race and slowly, very slowly things began to change. It was like he was breathing for the first time. The more he observed his classmates. They more he saw and processed their highs and their lows, their joys and their sorrows. The way they twisted themselves to fit this way or that. The way they reacted to each other. The way some were slower at comprehending things.

It was a strange song he was picking apart and with each part he discovered he found more and more things he had missed.

A never ending mess of confusion and understanding.

And as Izaya learned more and more and feel into this overwhelming feeling of fascination and curiosity it was as if something in him suddenly clicked. His emotional range seemed to grow, his feelings of happiness and dislike and enjoyment and disappointment began to appear. He finally understood what he was missing.

And it was all thanks to them. His beautiful, confusing humans.

It was at this moment that Izaya lost his heart to humanity.

. . .

When he announced his love to his mother, she had been surprisingly calm about it.

In fact, when he first decided to inform her that he was in love her reaction was unexpected.

Izaya was used to his mother parenting him. He oftentimes had preferred her take on it. Where his father made it clear he loved him and fulfilled all the same tasks his mother did, such as helping assure his physical needs were taken care of and providing him with books and toys to keep his interests, it was always as if he was expecting something in return. With Izaya's growing observations begin to seek beyond his classmates he now recognized what this behavior meant.

His father had always parented Izaya much like his classmates parents treated them. As if Izaya had been born a normal child with the emotional range he was adjusting to and learning all others seemed to have. His father had the expectation of emotion and perhaps love from his son. It had been confusing when he was too young to understand what was wanted of him.

His mother had never had that. Though she was always loving and open with her feelings, it was as if she had fully understood what Izaya was feeling. Or rather not feeling. She treated him without an expectation of attachment and that was interesting.

His mother was interesting.

Her reaction to his announcement of love was not disbelief or to laugh it away as he now understood would be normal.

No, her reaction was to pause, look him over, and smile.

Izaya would always remember her odd words that followed.

"Hm, that will make things a bit difficult. You've always been precocious, but to find love so early. Well, can't be helped." Her smile had only grown wider as she'd gotten to her knees to look Izaya in the face an overwhelming joy he long associated with his father gracing her face. "Oh, I still remember my first day in love. Your father was the only color in my world for the longest time."

Her smile turned conspiratorial. "Of course, now I've grown to love other things, but the shock of the initial feeling is very sudden."

She grabbed Izaya's hands then face so bright at this and asked, "Who are they Iza-chan? An older boy you saw on the playground? A girl you sit beside? Anyone is fine, sweetheart. We love strongly and only once so it's very important that you tell Okaa-chan so she can help you. You're too young to do everything yourself right now."

Izaya did not understand what exactly she meant by that. Couldn't at that point and even as he grew older there were still many unanswered questions. He just knew that his mother believed his love to be true and that she was revealing an interesting side to herself. His mother he realized then was a human. An interesting human like the girl in class had been.

Izaya smiled then. A real one that was followed by a giggle as a light bubbly feeling entered his chest he would later identify as joy.

"Humans. I love all humans!"

And his mother, one of his most interesting humans? She had smiled.

"Then I'll teach you how to make humans love you back."

. . .

Thinking back on his childhood he know realized how silly he had been. His love of humans had not yet been fully grown. Not yet developed. Izaya hadn't known what love was quite yet. Even the feelings that had grown in scope and depths for the first time paled into what he now felt and understood.

The love he'd experienced then was like gaining the ability to see the world in black and white after nothingness. Now, he could see everything in full color, hear the overwhelming music of the world, feel things with a depth and intensity it was almost painful. Izaya was drunk on this feeling. It was light and perfection. Even his own love for humanity had not faded away with this new discovery. It had intensified into something else, purer, more true.

After all Izaya was in love with a monster. A monster who wanted to be of all things human. A monster who clung so tightly to humanity it increased Izaya's own appreciation of it. So, to show his love, to show his appreciation for all the things his monster was teaching him.

One of those myriad of new feelings that he was taught made him feel even closer to his monster. After all he was a personification of wrath itself. It only made sense that through Izaya's love he would learn this first.

Rage. Anger. The desire to destroy something.

Almost the moment Izaya accepted his love these were experienced.

Because Izaya's love, hi position in Izaya's life, was being threatened.

And for the first time ever Izaya let his emotions control his judgement and he learned what hate truly felt like.

This girl who loved his monster would have to die.