Kei wonders how long it's been since he slept through the night.
His hair is slick to his forehead after yet another night of torment; the fear on his face is amazingly evident even through the darkness of the night. The clock by his bedside is the only light in the room, Kei reads the blurry red numbers easily.
2:45.
It's late, he frowns. There's a slightly annoyed look on his face; it too him an hour to fall asleep, and even then it had been a struggle. There was no point in lying back down now; his heart was beating too fast, his breathing needed to even out.
He was wide awake now.
He swings his legs over the bedside, he goes straight into the bathroom to wash his face. The feeling of his hair clinging to his forehead; wet and sticky from the sweat his body had produced, made him feel dirty.
He washes his face with cold water and feels slightly better already, but not quite good enough to fall asleep again. If he was up for the rest of the night then that would be fine to, he's gone days without sleep before. Eventually he'll just pass out and the whole thing will start over again.
Fuck. He swears, the bags underneath his eyes are getting worse.
He paces around the room for a couple more minutes before sitting down at his desk, refusing to lie back down. Tonight's dream hadn't been any better than the last; while this one had nothing to do with Sato, the truck accident that got him into this whole mess, or the hell of constantly being on the run.
Tonight was different.
Bandages wrapped tightly around his body, metal bindings prevent him from doing anything but scream. The sound of tools that should never be used on a living being come to life; cold metal touches his skin and...
Cuts.
Digs.
Destroys.
Kei brings his hands to his head, gripping roughly at his hair and trying to quell his body's furious shaking. It doesn't work. It never works, but he tries anyway. Maybe one day his past will stop haunting the present. Maybe in the future the past was just that, the past.
Rip,
Tear.
Crush.
"See how much pain you can cause him before he resets." A distant voice in the back of Kei's mind speaks up; he can't see his face, but the look in his eyes had been enough to make Kei squirm.
Melt.
Burn.
Reset.
It was nothing more than a stream of endless pain. It doesn't end, never ends, only pretends to end before starting up again. Kei never asked for it. He never asked for a second chance at life, never asked to be tortured, never asked to be hunted, and never asked for anything more than a peaceful life.
The desire to just stop and leave everything behind is strong, it's always been like that. All he ever wanted was to live a normal life, but it seemed as if life had different intentions.
Surly, it would've been better if he died on the street after the delivery truck hit him.
It would've been better if he had just stayed dead.
The night feels suffocating.