When Swans Cry Chapter 1, an once upon a time fanfic

Title: "When Swan Cry" (1/1)
A/N: A prompt from Facebook, actually. R.I.P. to the Purple One. Love the song featured here. Though if I'm honest, when I sat down to write this, I was thinking of the Ani Difranco's cover of it. Because she's an amazing acoustic goddess. I would like to say that along this will very much read as a one-sided love on Emma's part, keep in mind this is told through Emma's POV. I'd like to think that Regina's just scared and doesn't want to risk her heart over something unpredictable like loving Emma. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this. I only looked over it once, so I'm sorry for any and all mistakes.
Songs Used: Give Me One Reason by Tracy Chapman, Close by Nick Jonas & Tove Lo, Take Me to Church by Hozier, Nicotine by Ani Difranco, and When Doves Cry by Prince
Warnings: Singing!Emma, OutlawQueen is a thing here, Song Fict, Sad Ending
Prompt: "Ever since Prince died ( R.I.P) I've been dreaming of Emma singing or performing When Doves Cry to Regina while either she's with Robin or they're in the store with Cora, Neal, ect."
Summary: Canon Divergent during the Heroes and Villains aftermath just before Emma becomes the Dark One. After confessing her love for Regina during Gold's curse and being rejected, the Savior just wants to lose herself in being there for her kid. So she dusts off a guitar with the intention of giving it to Henry and plays for her mom who can tell something's up. Emma doesn't plan on Regina and her True Love showing up while she's in mid-song. But then again, she hadn't plan on falling for Regina either.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, universes or whatever the hell else. They belong to Disney, ABC etc, etc. I claim no rights to copyrighted material and this story is purely for entertainment purposes.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to get through this thing called life."
― Let's Go Crazy, by Prince

"I didn't know you could play…"

After almost 4 years, there was still a lot her mother didn't know about her. That was the nature of their unique situation. Neither one of them really knew the other. And there was no doubt in her mind that there were little things about her mother that she didn't know and hadn't really bothered to ask about. Something, that made her feel a pang of guilt when she thought about how she still kept her mother, her father, almost everyone really at arms length.

"I haven't in a long time," she confesses, tuning the guitar cradled under her breast. She was doing this by ear, her brow furrowed in concentration as she plucked at the strings. "I was thinking about giving this Henry. I was his age when I started to play. I'm actually surprised he doesn't know how to play an instrument. I mean with Regina raising him-" She stopped when she looked up and noticed her mother's scowl. "What?"

"Emma…" her mother sighed. "Are you and Regina fighting again?"

She made a face. To fight someone they had to want to be around for more than 30 seconds. And Regina "I-Am-A-Snarky-Bitch" Mills couldn't be bothered now that she had Captain Smells-Like-Forest. The moral and just and boring Robin Hood. He was a decent enough guy, Emma supposed, but never confessed out loud. Robin was a good dad and he loved the Evil Queen. Well, he loved Regina at least. And apparently to the mayor that was good enough.

Emma sighed. "Regina and I aren't fighting."

The look her mother gave her said very plainly that she didn't believe her. Well, too bad. Despite being the offspring of fairy tale characters, Emma wasn't an open book. And less so when it came to Regina.

Finally her mother sighed and sat across from her in the loft, baby Neal in her arms. Emma thought she was in for a lecture, or her mother's prodding. But that's not what happened. Her mom smiled and nodded to the newly turned guitar. "Can you play something?"

"What do you want me to play?" Emma asked.

Her mother chuckled. "Anything but the Wheels on the Bus."

The Savior nodded. "Got it."

For the next hour or so Emma played the songs she could remember.

Things from her childhood, well her teenaged years when she thought she wanted to become the next Ani Difranco, or Lisa Loeb.

This youthful heart can love you, yes, and give you what you need.
I said, this youthful heart can love you, oh, and give you what you need
But I'm too old to go chasing you around. wasting my precious energy.

Some songs were things she'd heard on the radio so much that they were ingrained into her memory.

'Cause if I want you, then I want you, babe
Ain't going backwards, won't ask for space
'Cause "space"was just a word made up by someone who's afraid to get too…
Close, ooh
Oh, so close, ooh
I want you close, ooh
'Cause space was just a word made up by someone who's afraid to get close, ooh
Oh, so close, ooh
I want you close, ooh
Oh, I want you close, but close ain't close enough, no…

Others still were songs that she couldn't stop listening to.

Every Sunday's getting more bleak;
A fresh poison each week.
'We were born sick, ' you heard them say it.
My church offers no absolutes;
She tells me 'worship in the bedroom.'
The only heaven I'll be sent to,
Is when I'm alone with you.
I was born sick, but I love it.
Command me to be well…

And finally some were songs she had a deep emotional connection to.

Love is a puzzle, some pieces they adjoin.
It's not like that with us, but I keep flipping that coin.
I watch you sometimes, from oh so far away.
But I can't forget you, or anything you say…

As time when on she realized that all of the songs had a central theme.

They were songs that in some way reminded her of her son's mother.

They were songs that reminded her of Regina.

Emma sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "One more song, then I have to go give this to Henry."

"Ok," her mother replied and then cooed to her baby brother, "Your sister is very musical, isn't she? Yes, yes she is."

Emma was about to sing her last song before she packed up the guitar and met up with the kid. Hopefully, Regina and/or Robin wouldn't be home. And according to the text her son gave her, Emma was in luck. Because her Majesty had apparently stepped out for the day.

At least she felt lucky until there was a knock on the door.

When her mother got up to answer, Emma started to play. Whoever it was, probably wouldn't insist making small talk if she was in mid-song. Or that was the hope anyway. For all she knew it could be Ashley or Aurora and they'd have to sit and gush about her musical gifts or worst yet, they'd make her come to one of those Mommy and Me classes and Emma would be stuck for most of the day singing "the Farmer in the Dell" and "And The Green Grass Grew All Around" and whatever else.

I'd rather get a flesh eating virus, she thought when she settled on a song.

Dig if you will the picture,
Of you and I engaged in a kiss.
The sweat of your body covers me.
Can you my darling,
Can you picture this?

It wasn't until she heard a sharp breath that Emma looked up to find that her son was right, Regina had stepped out for the day. But he neglected to mention she was on her way here and that Robin was with her. Which was just… fan-frakking-tastic.

Regina looked stunning. Not news really. She always looked stunning. She was in something casual. Well, she was dressed in Regina-Casual. It was like business casual only with less khakis and sweater vests. And more plunging necklines and shirts that always looked a touch too small. Her hair was short but growing longer. Emma noticed how the ends kissed her shoulders now.

Robin was… Robin was a hard guy to hate. He loved Regina. There was no doubt about that. And again he was a good enough guy. But Regina deserved more than just good enough. After everything she'd been through… After losing so much… After almost losing herself… Didn't she deserve having her dreams true? Didn't she deserve a person that she could share half of her heart with? Didn't she deserve to win for once?

Dream if you can a courtyard,
An ocean of violets in bloom.
Animals strike curious poses;
They feel the heat,
The heat between me and you.

They were whispering now. Her mother and Regina; going back and forth about Emma's hidden talent, as the former Queen held onto her destined love.

"Did you know she played?"

"No, just found out."

"I see."

"She wants to give the guitar to Henry. Isn't that great?"

"Yes… That's very… thoughtful."

How can you just leave me standing?
Alone in a world that's so cold?
Maybe I'm just too demanding.
Maybe I'm just like my father, too bold.
Maybe you're just like my mother,
She's never satisfied.
Why do we scream at each other?
This is what it sounds like,
When doves cry.

Emma ignored them. For the most part. But there were times in between chords that she would look and see Regina listening with rapt focus.

Touch if you will my stomach;
Feel how it trembles inside.
You've got the butterflies all tied up.
Don't make me chase you;
Even doves have pride.

It was looks like that, that pissed her off. How could someone look at anyone like the way that she's caught Regina watching her sometimes, and want nothing more with them than to co-parent a child? How could that not be love? Not platonic love. But the kind of love Emma's parents had; solid and real. But, no. According to Regina, Queen of Mixed Signals, Kale Salads, and Silk Blouses, they were "just friends" and that "the Man with the Lion Tattoo" is her True Love. And also that Emma was technically dating "Captain Wears More Makeup Than You, Miss Swan," but that was besides the point.

The point was, Emma felt like it was rejection. She thought that coming back here, battling the Snow Queen, stopping Regina's crazy sister… twice… She thought that had meant something. But her Majesty had made it clear that it was just something that friends did. And the hand Regina was holding, their fingers weaved together, as their shoulders touched, backed up her claim.

That she, Regina Mills was in love with the Outlaw, Robin Hood. And there wasn't a thing the Savior could do about it.

Emma strummed the strings one last time and ended the song, clearing her throat. She stood, mumbling something about meeting up with the kid. Emma made it out of the door, navigating her way through the field of landmines that was her romantic life before anyone could stop her..She shut the door behind her, zipped her jacket up high, even though it wasn't remotely cold, and trudged forward.

She'd put this behind her eventually. She'd get over it. She'd move on. But today was not eventually. And right now she needed to get to her son before did something stupid, like agree to find a place and move in with Killian.

Killian…

Another complication Emma didn't want to think about. Because it was beyond her understanding at this point why she was still with him. Did she love him? Yes, in a way. Was it the kind of love that she'd split her heart for? No. Killian was easy. Killian was familiar. She knew what to expect with him. But Killian was also not the first person she thought about after her son. And he wasn't the person that had entire mental playlist rolling around her in her head for.

"Miss Swan…"

Emma sighed and kept walking. She couldn't talk to Regina right now. She just couldn't do it.

"Emma."

Of course when has something like that ever stopped Regina?

"What, Regina?"

"I… We…" the Mayor cleared her throat and tried again. "Did you plan on telling me you're thinking of giving our son a musical instrument. Miss Swan?"

The Savior rolled her eyes. "I am not going to do this with you right now. I just can't. During Gold and Isaac's…" Emma searched for the right word and landed on, "… curse, I told you how I felt in that cave. And when the curse broke you looked at me and then ran right into Robin's arms."

"Emma…"

"I know, Robin is your soulmate."

"And…"

"I'm with Killian. I know, Regina." The blonde sighed. "I just need some time."

She waited for the brunette to say something, anything, but when she didn't, Emma thought Regina had accepted it and couldn't find it in her heart to let the Savior down gently, so she turned away from the Mayor and began to walk away.

"You can't love me…" Regina's voice sounded.

"You can't tell me what to do," Emma said, turning back around. "I do. I don't how or when it happened but it did. And I can't ignore it right now. I mean, what do I have to prove it to you, Regina? Jump into a swirling vortex of pure evil for you? What?"

This time, the Mayor had no words for her. This time when Emma turned to leave, Regina didn't call out to her and the Savior didn't look back. She kept her expression neutral. She wasn't going to break because of it this.

And she held it together until she sank into the driver's seat of the bug, when her eyes began to well with tears and she cried softly and silently as she drove off.

Regina was in love with the Outlaw. And there wasn't a damn thing she could do about it.

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