I honestly don't know what this is. Like at all. I was in a Sandle mood and I thought, "Hey, why don't I just summarize their whole relationship while I've got the muse," and thus- This was born. I guess you could call it a sort of character study, with the main focus being on Greg, because it's from his point of view (sort of). But it's mainly the high points of his and Sara's relationship/friendship. Anyways enough of my rambling, please enjoy. As always, I'd love to hear what you think so feel free to leave a review!
I unfortunately do not own CSI. I'm just borrowing it.
House Of Cards
When you first see her, you're entranced. You don't remember who, because you're too busy drinking in every detail of her, but someone tells you her name is Sara. Sara Sidle. She's beautiful but it's clear to you that she's not aware of this. You can tell by the way she carries herself, and the way she seems to hold back when she speaks, as if she's unsure of herself. You're not sure why.
x-x-x
You're immediately drawn to her, not only because of her beauty but her personality as well. She has a fire in her and she's not afraid to speak her mind when it comes to personal opinions. You've always admired girls like that. She has a sharp tongue, and you quickly learn not to cross her when she's in one of her moods. And it's now that you realize you never did get that coffee stain out of your shirt.
x-x-x
Sara's there for exactly three months before you decide to ask her out. When you tell Catherine about your idea she laughs, and that knocks you down a few pegs. But you decide to go through with it anyways. The answer is a no and you try you're best not to act disappointed, but it's a little hard when your turned down in front of Nick and Warrick and you can hear the muffled laughter as you walk away.
x-x-x
For the next few weeks you stay away, only speaking to her when she needs results and she notices when you're not as talkative and bright as you normally are. You play it off though, telling her that you have a cold and you'll be better in no time. She believes you.
x-x-x
A week later you're ready to try again, but then you overhear Nick talking and you find out she's interested in a guy named Hank. He's a paramedic and he's everything you're not. Later that day you see them in the hallway, and you can see the embarrassment on her face when he turns and practically runs away. You don't know why until you walk by her and you realize she's been working a decomp, but the smell doesn't even bother you.
"You smell like death," you say.
Sara throws back an agitated, "I've heard."
And when you tell her, "a real man wouldn't mind," she stops and watches you as you walk away. She never mentions that again.
x-x-x
She's with Hank for a while, but you continue to flirt with her, because she doesn't mind and it gives you a little hope that maybe you'll someday have your chance.
Then one day a case comes in, involving a woman whose car has crashed through a diner and you can't ignore the look of fear on Sara's face when she learns Hank is inside. He's lucky though and he escapes unharmed except for a few scratches.
But as the case comes to a close she makes a discovery, that she's the other woman and you admire her when she doesn't cry, or show even an ounce of anger. And then you realize you really are everything Hank isn't because you would never do that to Sara. You wish you had told her that.
x-x-x
It starts as a normal day, you're handed sample after sample and you work hard to make sure everyone is pleased. You don't even notice when Catherine walks in with Warrick and a beaker full of yellow liquid is placed on your hot plate.
Before it happens, it's calm. Not exactly quiet, but peaceful enough for you to get lost in your work. You see Sara walk by out of the corner of your eye but you're so engrossed in the sample you're running that you don't even wave.
Then it hits. There's an unbearable heat that combines with a force strong enough to send you through the glass wall behind you. There's a roaring in your head and a white hot pain grips you every time you try to move. Finally, when even holding up your head takes too much effort you let it fall back down and the world around you becomes black.
x-x-x
You're in the hospital for almost two weeks, and you have plenty of visitors that worry about you and ask how you are. But not one of them is Sara. You start to get mad, and then you remember seeing her right before the blast and an icy fear grips you. You ask Catherine, who has become you're closest companion, and she tells you that she got nothing more than a cut on her hand.
That angers you, and you want to know why she's avoiding you. So when you get out of the hospital the first place you go is her apartment. Catherine, who personally volunteered to take you home argues and says it's not best for you right now but you silence her with a glare and she begrudgingly takes you there.
You knock on the door, knowing she's home because you saw the department issued Denali parked outside. It takes a moment but eventually the door slowly opens and Sara appears, dressed in her pajamas with her hair tied in a knot atop her head. She looks more beautiful than ever before.
She sees you, and without a word from either of you a look of general understanding is passed and she steps back to let you in. You never knew so much could be said with so little words.
x-x-x
Slowly but surely you begin to make your way into the field, and much to your delight you're placed under Sara when your training truly begins. She teaches you everything she knows, and you couldn't be more grateful to her. You begin to open up to each other and your admiration towards her grows until you can barely contain it.
x-x-x
Then one day, after a tiring case that ended in too many failures your team is split apart and the atmosphere in the building suddenly changes. You're lucky though, and Sara is on your team and that helps heal some of the hurt.
x-x-x
You've worked a lot of cases, and all of them had their defining moments, but there's one you know you'll never forget. You and Sara are processing a house, you're vic already back at the lab in autopsy when masked strangers rush you outside and into a tent.
You see the panic in Sara's eyes when you're clothes are yanked off and you're standing under a stream of cold water. There is no wall separating the two of you, nothing to stop you from taking in her body sans its clothing but you realize you can't bring yourself to do it and you settle for staring at the floor instead.
That's when you notice a tattoo on her foot and you smile and make a mental note to ask her about it later. The shower is almost over when you feel the heat of her gaze and you turn your head slightly to see of you can catch her eye. She quickly turns away and you see her cheeks flush a furious shade of scarlet. You never did ask her about that tattoo.
x-x-x
It's a normal night when your team gets a frantic call that spells disaster for all of you. Nick has disappeared, and you can feel the fear that radiates from Sara's body as you all sit and watch the tape of him in a plexi-glass coffin, armed with a gun and a few green glow sticks.
You don't think to ask Sara if she's ok, because she's always been stronger than you, but when you walk into the locker room and you hear her retching into the toilet you realize that not everybody is invincible. She walks out and when she sees you she flushes with embarrassment and you see a tear run down her cheek. That was the first time you had ever seen Sara Sidle cry.
x-x-x
Sara tells you she likes your suit, and you smile so wide your cheeks begin to hurt. The comment is stuck in your head during the entire drive, only to be driven away when you see the broken body of Stanley Tanner being tossed around like a rag doll.
You know better than to go out there, but you also know that back up may not make it in time and you make a heat of the moment decision that changes your life. You don't remember much, except for the pain that radiates through your body and the metallic taste of blood.
You've been lying there for a while and suddenly something evades your senses, the sweet smell of lemon and lavender and you know even without looking who it is. Her touch is gentle and soothing and her voice is low and laced with concern.
"Sara," you barely manage to whisper her name, because the tightness in your chest makes everything painful.
"I didn't think you could see me." She sounds surprised and you can hear tears in her voice.
"I can't. I know that Sidle scent." She laughs at that, and the sound is so melodic you actually feel a sense of comfort. You never did thank her for that.
x-x-x
You've seen things before, things you wish you never had to see. But nothing seems to be as bad as the dead, cold stare of your best friend. Sara's shaking and she looks haunted and all you want is to take her in your arms and make it go away. But she insists she's fine and when you tell her she's not she gives you a glare that could melt the ice caps and tell you to go to hell. You never apologized for that.
x-x-x
It's raining outside, and it pours down on you as it soaks your clothes and hair but you can't bring yourself to care. The cigarette burning between your fingers never actually touches your lips, and you flick it onto the ground as a desperate and frustrated scream escapes you and you surprise even yourself.
He loves her, and she had the audacity to love him back. You shouldn't be surprised though, she never did spend much time with you anymore, and now you know why. You're standing outside the hospital, trying to decide if you really want to go in. But then Catherine appears beside you and there's an agitated look on her tired, aging face.
"Sara's been asking for you. What's taking so long?" You want to walk away but you could never do that to Sara and you walk back inside with your soaking wet clothes and hair and when she sees you, you fake a smile, take her hand and tell her how glad you are that she's happy. You don't mean it.
x-x-x
He gets a letter, and you get the broken heart. You're not sure how that works but that's what Sara has left you with nothing but memories and the cruel agonizing fact that she doesn't love you, she never has. You've never been much of a drinker, but when you get home that night you grab the first thing you can find. You swear that you'll never drink bourbon again.
You hate Grissom, not only because he has Sara but because he is the one that let her go. If it was you, you would have begged, and pleaded and told her how much you loved her. You begin to shut the world out, and you vow to tell Sara how much she hurt you. You never did.
x-x-x
It's like a nightmare you can't wake up from. Catherine's voice echoes in your mind and her words are forever etched in your brain. Warrick's dead and you realize you never did tell him how much you admire him. You leave the airport in a hurry, and you're driving so fast it's a wonder you didn't get a ticket.
You're running around the lab, trying to find someone who will talk to you. Then you run into Grissom and you feel the bile rise in your throat as you take in the bloody, disheveled man in front of you. He's soaked in blood and you know without even thinking whose it is.
"How can I help?" You ask, desperate to be of some assistance. Because after all the cold words and half assed work you've done you realize you owe Grissom more than that. He tells you to go get his clothes from autopsy and when you're there you catch a glimpse of your friend beneath a white sheet and you run to the bathroom and empty your stomach.
When you get back upstairs you notice everyone has piled into Grissoms office and you go and see what all the fuss is about. That's when you see her, and it's like seeing the sun for the first time in months. Sara smiles and pulls you into a hug, and you deeply inhale that Sidle scent. You never even mention how much you're still hurting.
x-x-x
It's your first case since Warrick died, and you're exhausted. You stop a pretty nurse in the hallway and ask her where room 115 is and she kindly points you in the right direction. You knock on the door before you walk inside and when you see the man bent over his wife's body you're taken back almost eight years and you know this isn't your case anymore.
You dial Sara's number, hoping you didn't wake her and after you explain the situation she tells you she'll be there in ten minutes. When she shows up you're waiting for her in the hallway and when she squeezes your shoulder and says thank you, you just smile and nod because at this point, you're not sure how to talk to her anymore.
x-x-x
A few days later a girl with red hair and an attitude that reminds you of Sara joins the team and you're automatically drawn to her. She tells you her name is Riley and the first time you find yourself pushing her up against the wall of the shower in the locker room you're not the least bit surprised. She may not be Sara, but it's not hard to pretend and for now it's enough. Sara never did find out about that.
x-x-x
In the end Riley proved to be just like Sara and this time you're not even mad when she leaves without saying goodbye. You're used to it by now anyways.
It's unexpected, but not unwelcome when you walk into the break room and see Sara standing there. She looks better- Healthier, and you take her in with open arms. The two of you make a promise to grab a beer and catch up and it's almost starting to feel like you have your best friend back.
x-x-x
You've had a hell of a year, from your serial killer girlfriend to Langston killing Nate Haskell and you want nothing more than to relax and forget about work. Grissom is out of the country again and when Sara shows up at your door soaked to the bone with red puffy eyes you invite her in and offer her a beer.
She tells you how Grissom canceled his trip home and you go as far as to let her rest her head on your shoulder as you hold her in your lap. You never did tell her how good she smelled that night.
x-x-x
When you finally return to work things are different. There's a new supervisor and a girl, Morgan, who happens to be Ecklie's daughter joins your team. She nice and she's pretty but you've become so numb that you can't bring yourself to pursue her. It's not until she's almost killed doing the job you were supposed to do that you really begin to care. Just not enough for it to matter.
x-x-x
It's raining when she shows up on your doorstep that night. It's like someone up there knows and the sky begins to grey and the thunder rumbles right before she knocks. This time when you open it she doesn't wait for an invitation, she just pushes past you and walks inside.
You open your mouth to say something but suddenly her lips are colliding with yours and you find yourself kissing Sara Sidle. Although your first thought is Grissom you feel like you deserve at least a kiss and you return it with just as much force.
When the two of you break apart, you notice a white line where her wedding ring should be and you wonder if it really happened.
"I left him." She says, as if she's reading your mind. You can't speak, you can't move. You're wondering what exactly you should do, because this woman has done nothing but break your heart for the past decade. But when your eyes meet you see every emotion that runs through you also running through her and you know this was meant to be. So you smile, and you run a hand over your face, because you realize you've won. You look at the woman in front of you, the one who has molded you into the man you are today and you know you will be everything Hank wasn't, and you'll do everything Grissom didn't.
Because losing her once was hard enough, and watching her love another man was more than you could bear. So you look at her and you tell her the one thing that you've wanted to say all these years.
"I love you."