This fiction serves as an interquel between Temple of Heroes and Abode of Snow. It takes place a month after Su's arrival at the Jade Palace, and six months before Emperor Xian visits.

It was a cloudless day when the Dragon Warrior made the mother of all screw ups.

Life was awesome.

Po now not only had one great dad, but two. His adoptive father, a goose called Mr. Ping. Owner of Dragon Warrior Noodles and Tofu. His birth father, a panda called Qiang. chief of a thriving village in the Shidao mountains. Both awesome.

Yep, life was great.

Except of course, for the monkey.

Po grumbled as he extricated his head from the bucket. Green paint trickled between his eyes and dripped off the tip of his nose. He glared up at the primate propped up above the kitchen door.

Monkey was laughing hysterically, as was the praying mantis, green tree viper and black necked crane sitting at the table. Only the bengal tiger not amused, glaring distastefully at the green wet mess on the floor.

"You're cleaning that up." Tigress said to Monkey.

"Whatever, it was totally worth it!" Monkey wiped tears from his eyes and jumped to the floor next to a green, black and white Po.

"I'm gonna kill you." Po said simply. "I am gonna kill you."

Monkey laughed even harder.

"The mop and bucket are in the cupboard down the corridor." Tigress said. Monkey apologized for the mess and left, still in hysterics.

"Po, I thought you and Monkey had finished your prank war." Viper said.

"Yeah, when Whiny-boy Wu's daughter came along and you thought Monkey had a crush on her." Mantis said.

"Yeah, well…" Po began.

"And you sent him a love letter and pretended it was from her…"

"Mantis…"

"And it nearly destroyed your friendship…"

"Mantis…"

"And it turned out that she liked you and not him and then she kissed you…"

"Wait, what?" Tigress blinked.

"MANTIS!" Po snapped. "Never. Mind. The. Details!"

Mantis snickered, and promptly got a smack from Viper.

"What do you mean she kissed you?" Tigress demanded.

"Long, long, long, long story!" Po replied quickly. "Look I gotta go."
"To get cleaned up?" Viper assumed.

"That too. But first I gotta get payback!"

"Oh my word…" Crane covered his eyes with his wing as Po furiously stormed off, trailing paint as he went. "Where's the sound of sinister music indicating trouble ahead when you need it?"

"Where's the sound of ominous music indicating imminent failure when you need it?" Bian Zao moaned. He had been sitting on the top of the palace steps for the last ten minutes, with nothing to keep him occupied but ancient China's answer to the soda can.

He could see his father fifty steps down, dragging his latest weapon of mass failure behind him. Taotie had escaped prison for one week and already he was ready to go back behind bars.

Lame.

"Uh, hello?"

"Yeah?" Bian Zao was too busy wallowing in his dad's lame-ness to look at the person speaking.

"Can I help you?" The person asked.

"Only if you can make my dad less lame." Bian Zao replied dryly.

"Uh, I don't even know what 'lame' means."

Bian suddenly realized that he recognized the voice. He turned his head and found himself facing the new kid.

He had met the blue eyed panda girl known as Su nearly a month ago, the last time his dad had failed to destroy the Dragon Warrior and the Furious Five. He'd lost count of the number of inventions Taotie had used, and the invention he'd used that day had been something along the lines of… the Gourd of Gory Germination.

Lame.

"Hey." He said.

"Hey." Su replied. She was carrying two scrolls. "Uh, weren't you here with your daddy last month?"

"Yeah." Bian Zao sighed.

Su looked down at his father, who was fifteen steps from reaching the top. His heavy panting was now audible.

"Didn't he try to attack Po with rapid fire sunflower seeds?"

"Lame, I know."

"What's that he's got now?" Su asked.

"The Flamethrower of Fiery Satisfaction. To think he chose this over selling lame figures of himself at the Festival of Figurines again. You'd better stay inside for this one."

"Oh, okay." Su said. "Um, it was nice talking to you. Bye now."

"Bye."

Su walked off in the direction of the student barracks.

Two minutes later Taotie finally reached his son.

"Thank you… for waiting…" Taotie panted sarcastically.

"You're welcome." Bian Zao replied.

"Who was that… you were talking to… just now?"

"The new kid."

"Oh. Well, son! Here we go!"

Taotie lifted his new invention, which basically looked like a cuboid with a tube on the end and covered in pipes. It weighed a ton, and looked like it.

"Jerks of the Jade Palace, you will rue that day you crossed Taotie!" The warthog cried triumphantly, and marched straight for the Hall of Warriors… at a… very… slow… pace…

"I'll just let them know you're coming." Bian Zao sighed.

He went up to the front doors. To his very slight surprise, they were locked, and there was a faint unpleasant smell coming from the crack.

"Keep 'em busy son!" Taotie whispered. "I'll flank them from the side entrance!"

It took Taotie a full minute to disappear around the corner.

Lame.

Bian Zao rolled his eyes and knocked on the doors.

Seconds passed. There was a click as the doors were unlocked and opened. Bian Zao recoiled from the intense stench as Po emerged, a napkin covering his mouth and a clothes peg clamped on his nose.

"Oh. It's you again." Po's voice was muffled.

"What the heck is that smell?" Bian Zao nearly retched. "Smells like someone farted!"

"They did!" Po replied cheerfully. "I'm testing out a new prank. It's a stink bomb made out of my own farts!"

"Wow, that is so not lame." Bian Zao replied sarcastically. "And not gross."

"Where's your dad?" Po asked.

At that moment they heard Taotie shouting from inside the hall.

"Prepare to meet your fiery demise!" He declared. "At the hands of the Flamethrower of Fiery Satisfaction!"

"Po, didn't you say that the stink bomb was made from your own farts?" Bian Zao said dully.

"Yeah?" Po asked.

"Aren't farts flammable?"

"Yeah, like gunpowder." Po said. "Oh crud."

KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!