This is set post-Miami, We Have a Problem, LA, and Getting Axed, pre-ep spoilers for the upcoming Calleigh-centric ep. Calleigh looked a little...spacy (pardon the pun) in MWHP, and that inspired this short little fic. Will be about three to four chapters. Prepare for angst. Enjoy.

In the Stars

One

You notice that Calleigh has been distant these last few weeks.

You picked her up from work this evening, and she didn't say much, only a simple greeting and a smile before you headed to her house together. She was quiet during the ride, and once there, she went and changed before she came back and sat on the couch, where she is still sitting, her knees pulled up to her chest, head resting upon her fist. You are sitting on the other side of the couch, alternately watching television and reading the paper, and every once in a while you glance over at her. When she sits like that, you realize just how tiny and petite she is.

For as long as you've known her, she hasn't gone a day without heels. Her heels add five inches to her life, and you know that must boost her self esteem where the job is concerned. The only time she goes without heels is when she is at home and when she goes for a run, but her running schedule has been...interrupted of late. Since getting back together again, your mornings and evenings have been different, especially mornings, since lately it's always a little harder to get up...You smirk a bit at the thought, you think that perhaps you should feel some guilt behind it because she likes to run, it clears her head, not to mention keeps her silky legs firm.

She doesn't ever look too upset about it though, instead, she has used the mornings you are together to sleep in a bit, she lets you slowly draw her out of sleep with caresses, whispers, and kisses, sometimes she straddles you and drops the sheets from around her body and the both of you take a little more time to explore and talk about nothing in particular as you make love slowly. You love it when she smiles and gasps in between talking...you love it when she gives you encouragements and approval with a giggle mixed with a sigh, and then you fall deeper in love with her when she breathes deeper and then tilts her head back with a whimper-moan and then a satisfied sigh.

You've been in love with Calleigh, probably a little longer than you admit you have. You just haven't been able to say it yet, and she hasn't said anything either, but you have a feeling that she does feel the same way. You're not concerned because you know her; you understand that she keeps herself, her heart, closely guarded and it will take more than just kisses and dinners together to get her to open up. You know that she is still having a hard time with trusting you fully, implicitly again. You know you still have some convincing to do, but aside from the trust, you believe that you and she have recaptured everything you had before. The closeness, the intimacy, the romance, and comfort.

That is not to say you haven't rediscovered all of the things about her that drive you crazy.

You don't like it when Calleigh tries to have a conversation with you while she is on the toilet; that is her worst habit, you think, and whenever you walk out of the bathroom and sit on the bed, she laughs and says "It's just potty talk." It irritates you when she takes up the sink and the mirror. Two people. One sink. Huge problems. She will be brushing her teeth while doing her hair, her elbows in the way and her curling iron a danger to both you and her. Another thing that you think you've actually come to tolerate are the days she watches the DVDs of Petticoat Junction one after another. You have figured out that she does this during her...monthly, while eating salty fried chicken and Milano cookies. You have never been able to bring yourself to discuss, hear, or think about a woman's...personal time without cringing and feeling your stomach lurch. Growing up with three sisters, you saw the good, the bad, and the ugly. Well, you saw bad, and it was mostly ugly, never good. You don't want to know about it, see it...nothing. You do what you can to make her feel comfortable and then steer clear and let it happen until Calleigh isn't quite so tense, hungry, and moody and then when she cuddles into you again, all's right with the world. The one thing that she does every once in a while that truly disturbs you is when she wakes you up in the middle of the night because she is nipping at your arm, shoulder, or neck in her sleep. You have yet to figure out what that is all about, but you never say anything to her about it.

There are just as many things that you love about her as you don't like about her. Probably more.

You love the way she sounds, her voice so sweet with that natural twang. You love the silkiness and smell of her hair, you love the curves in her body, you love her cooking, love the way she sways her hips to the music that is playing while she's cooking...there are other things that you love about her that are too numerous to recall.

You glance over at Calleigh again, and she is still in the same position, staring blankly at the television.

"Calleigh..."

No answer.

"Cal...?"

Again, no answer.

"Carina...?"

She turns and looks at you, her eyes wide and bright...intensely green.

"What?"

"Are you okay?"

She nods, grinning a bit. "Yeah."

"You sure? You kind of blanked out there for a second."

"I'm fine," she insists, smiling at you.

God, you love that smile.

You like spending time with her, though. That is something you'd missed while you were on your sabbatical in Puerto Rico. You had to get out of Miami, just for a little while, leave everything behind and just breathe. It has been years since you've been on a real vacation, only at the time, you remember thinking that the only thing that was missing was Calleigh. While you were there, all you could think about was having her by your side, walking with her, getting her to try Lolita's, that restaurant you ate at practically every night, and to dance with you to the music in the clubs that you would never go in, but hear down the street from the cottage you were in.

You know that, if you were to whisk her away there, that she would love the weather, the music, and the beaches. You can see her now, in that slinky red bikini she never really has occasion to wear, resting on the beach with a cold mojito in her hand, hair blowing in the breeze. How she would love a vacation, you think. You can see her at night in Vicento's Estrella Bar, swaying her hips to the beat of the live band in a flowy, sleeveless, strapless yellow dress, skin slightly sweaty and that excited, gorgeous smile on her face...you can see her in the cottage in bed with you, flushed, giggly, and satisfied after you've made love together again, the alcohol you had a little too much of making the both of you warm and yearning for each other once again even more.

Just that image alone makes you want to pack up a few of her things, and some of your own, take a quick flight to Puerto Rico and make that vision you'd just had a reality.

But there are a lot of things you know she is not ready for yet, a vacation with you being one of them. Again, you know that the trust is still being rebuilt, and that both of you still need to heal from all the time you spent apart. Even now, there have been hiccups in restarting your relationship. Work, stress, time, distance. You work a little further away from her now, the State Attorney's office keeps you on the go all day long, Calleigh, being the perfectionist that she is, wants to get the job done and never gets off on time.

You dropping her off and picking her up at work lately has done a little bit to remedy that.

Small steps is what it is going to take, you know.

But you couldn't resist her the first time you saw her again. From that moment, the both of you knew that you'd end up in bed together. That was inevitable, unavoidable.

You remember holding her close, whispering how sorry you were for everything, caressing over her damp skin. She turned to face you and forgave you all that you confessed with a kiss and it began all over again.

Somehow, from the moment you met Calleigh, you knew that having her in your life would be an incredible journey, and it doubtless has been. She made you turn into a better man, albeit slowly. You changed because you knew what she deserved, saw what she didn't, and you wanted to vanquish the shadows of those other assholes she dated, to make her see that you were the answer, that you were everything she wanted and that she was everything you wanted in life.

You press fast forward through all of the almost unreal shit that went down, to now.

This feels normal to you, just spending a quiet evening with Calleigh watching TV. You never anticipated normal feeling this good.

Being able to see Calleigh openly and kiss her, touch her without the fear of eyes on you made your decision to leave CSI worth it. Since being back with her, you have actually taken her out on dates, you have kissed her at the lab, and, of late, you have been picking her up and dropping her off, giving her a soft kiss before she goes into the lab, and then when you see her after her shift. You don't care now if people know because you two are no longer working together.

You feel as though you've unlocked a new future that would have previously been too complicated to think of if you'd still been at CSI. You have been winning her heart back, you have done little things that have gone a long way in encouraging Calleigh to get her to trust you unquestioningly again.

You love life with her, and you wouldn't be wrong to assume that she loves life with you. Granted, you are pretty sure you do things that bother her, but that is all part of the ride, you suppose. When two people who have been friends for so many years, lovers for so many months, that you know a person and their quirks well enough to not mind them. You find that you love her quirks too because she is worth everything to you. You love her so deeply, and you need her more than you ever thought possible. You love Calleigh.

You scoot closer to her on the couch and you kiss her cheek, making her blush and look at you.

"What was that for?"

You shrug. "You're beautiful."

She smiles bashfully.

Later, when you finally make your way to bed-Calleigh has long gone to bed-you stop and just take her in. She manages to get more beautiful to you every day, and you don't care to know how that's possible. Knowing would ruin everything.

You change into some sleep clothes, then you carefully get into bed, not wanting to wake her. The smell of lavender surrounds you as you spoon her, and she sighs, immediately finding your arm and bringing it over her waist. You kiss her shoulder, inhaling the smell of her fruity soap, her tangerine shampoo, and the lavender lotion she puts on before going to sleep. There is nothing like being wrapped up and surrounded by her before you yourself go to sleep.

I love you, is what you think, but don't dare say out loud.

Not just yet.

TBC