cosmos (n); the universe seen as a well-ordered whole.
cosmos (n); cosmoses (p.n); an ornamental plant of the daisy family with single dahlia-like flowers.
Lotus
She was five when she realized that the world had always been wrong and unfair and always would be.
She was six when she had begun to see and feel how real the pain could be, the devastation that could be wrought onto the body and most importantly, the mind.
She was seven when she realized who she was and the terrible, terrible mistake that anyone thought it was a good idea to let her be in the show she used to idolize. Was that irony in effect? She could never decide.
She was twelve when hormones and puberty began to kick in and god was that a living nightmare to live through it a second time. She'd suffered enough the first time, she didn't figure why she had to do it a second. Or why she existed at all. Or why she was inside a fictional character. Or why she was even aware of being fictional in the same thought of her being real.
Ok, ok. Things were confusing, to say the least.
To make it simple, all she could say was that her name hadn't always been Ino Yamanaka—even if she couldn't recall what it had been. She did know something else though. She knew one very important thing and that is; she was not supposed to be alive.
She was supposed to be very, very dead. It would also help if she didn't have those pestering memories of a future she shouldn't be aware of. But, well, what can you do when you're actually meant to be six feet under and rotting in a casket?
The answer is nothing. Not a goddamn thing.
See, something else she learned in all the years of her second life; the universe was as well-put together as a drunk in high heels.