There was so much red.
Steve was laid out on the pavement before him, uniform torn and slowly changing color, and Tony had his hands pressed as firmly to the stomach wound as he could. He could tell from the wince that the pressure was hurting Steve, but he didn't care. He had to stop the bleeding somehow.
"Tony…" Steve's voice was faint, and Tony did a double take when he saw how pale his friend was.
"No way," he growled, pushing his hands down harder. "Don't even go there, Rogers. I know what you're thinking and I'm telling you right now: don't fucking go there." He knew it was bad. Steve was growing whiter by the second, his muscles were slowly slackening, and his blood just kept pouring out of the open gash across his abdomen.
"Tony, please," Steve protested. One red-gloved hand came up to grip Tony's forearm, gently pulling his hand away. Tony shrugged Cap's hand off and pressed down with new determination.
"You're not going to die," he said simply. "It's just not going to happen. I won't let it."
"Hey." Steve's tone made Tony look at him again, and fear washed over him when he saw the acceptance in his comrade's eyes. "It's okay. I'm not afraid. I outlived myself and I should've died a long time ago, and I didn't. I got a second chance, but now it's time for me to go." Steve smiled weakly. "I can't begrudge God, Tony. He's given me so much, and it's his right to take me back whenever he wants. I can't begrudge Him that."
"Fuck God," Tony spat. "Fuck God and fuck the universe. There's no reason why anyone should have to die in pain and it doesn't even matter because you're not going to die."
"Yes, I am." The response was so plain, so glaringly obvious, that Tony was sure he heard his heart shatter in response. "It's really okay. I know you think that this is your fault, that if I die, it'll be because you couldn't save me, but it's not. It's just the way things are." Steve's hand came up to grip Tony's forearm once more, and this time Tony didn't shrug him off. "Just let me go. I'll be okay."
"But what if I'm not?" he countered, his tone altogether different. The determination was gone, replaced by grudging, hateful acceptance. "What if I won't be okay? Fuck, Cap, how am I supposed to do this without you? It's been you and me from the start. We've been the leaders, we've shared the burden. What if I can't do it alone?"
"You can," Steve answered firmly. "You can and you will, and it'll all be fine." His eyes fluttered and Tony knew he'd lost too much blood, that the end was swiftly coming and soon the Captain would be gone. "And whenever your time comes, I'll be waiting."
"Please don't." His voice broke as tears threatened to spill. "You can't do this to me. You can't leave me alone here, to protect all these people by myself."
"But you're not alone," came the reply. Steve's eyes closed and his breathing changed, his chest moving with smaller respirations. "You'll have Thor and Bruce and Clint and Natasha. You'll have Pepper." He swallowed thickly and Tony felt his boiling tears begin to fall. "And you'll have me. I'll always be there. No matter what."
With that, Steve Rogers let go his last tenuous hold on life, and Tony Stark knew what it meant to truly feel alone.