BILLIR, the Horrible Name for this Story
It was late when Zim stumbled into the oddly-shaped front door to his base. He felt not the
large bruise on his arm or the laceration on his cheek. Only the fatigue from not sleeping for
almost a week. It had been a very rough day for the little Irken invader. First there was that
suspicious-looking fire hydrant at the end of the street, then a day at the skool which somehow
seemed even worse than the rest, and lastly, the fight with Dib.
The fight was short and couldn't have lasted more than about ten minutes, but it felt so long to
Zim as he remembered nearly every detail. It started after skool had let out. Dib had decided to
follow him home that day, but that was not unusual. The cursed human boy was always trying to
spy on Zim and ruin his brilliant plans to destroy the Earth. The very nerve! It was the fourth day
in a row, and Zim was beginning to get sick of this. So he made up his mind to attack the kid and
possibly get rid of him for the next couple of days.
He turned into an empty alley and waited for Dib to follow. And the very second Dib was close
enough, Zim pounced on him and pinned him to the ground by his arms. Dib, having no idea
what was going on for just an instant, threw Zim into a fence (thus giving him the wound on his
face). Then they just fought for awhile, although it was mostly only the two throwing punches at
each other and missing horribly. That is, until Zim thought to employ the spider legs inside the
device on his back. Zim ended up winning, and left Dib lying there on the ground. The miserable human deserved nothing better.
Though he had some injuries, Zim was the victor, and for that he was proud. Proud, but still very
tired. So without even bothering to remove his disguise, he lifted himself onto the couch, believing that he would sleep longer this night than he had in his entire life. After tomorrow, he would have the weekend to re-energize.
His eyelids shot open a few minutes later when a litle robot body fell from the ceiling, landed right
on Zim, and ran into the kitchen.
"GIR!" he yelled. "How many times do I have to tell you not to disturb me while I'm sleeping?!"
The little makeshift SIR unit popped its head out from behind the TV set.
"Huh?" it said, looking confused.
"You just- wait, I saw you run into the kitchen! What are you doing behind the television?"
"I dunno... I woke up, and... I was here," was its reply.
With an exasperated sigh, Zim got up off the couch and stood still for a few seconds, just to be
sure he wouldn't lose his balance while walking. He and GIR made their way into the kitchen and
began to search around, under the table, inside the trashcan, and in the toilet placed next to the refrigerator. But neither found anything... until they heard a high, robotic voice that simply said:
"HI!!"
Zim whirled around and saw it; another robot which looked very similar to GIR, only it had purple
eyes and was built much more pathetically, with bolts sticking every which way out of its boxy
form.
"What is THAT??" Zim said.
The two robots just stood in silence until GIR seemed to recall something.
"Oh, yeeeah... Tha'z BILLIR! HI, BILLIR!"
"HI, GIR!!" the new "SIR" screamed back.
" 'BILLIR'? What is that, and how did it get in here?" Zim asked, growing very impatient.
"He was outside today while you were at skool, master. So I let him in!"
"And you just let it in?! How do you know it isn't a bomb or something?"
"He's NOT a bomb! I like him! He's my friend," GIR yelped, slightly offended at Zim's remark.
Zim was about to shout back when another thought came into mind.
"Wait... could this possibly be a gift from the Tallest? Maybe this is a reward for coming so far!
Maybe I should ask them about it-"
Then he remembered that GIR had chewed through the wires on the device that he had used to
communicate with the Almighty Tallest.
"-Just as soon as I fix the communicator. I suppose it could stay here until then."
The robots cheered at this. But Zim had made a very big mistake. He had no idea that someone else
was watching him at that very moment.
It was late when Zim stumbled into the oddly-shaped front door to his base. He felt not the
large bruise on his arm or the laceration on his cheek. Only the fatigue from not sleeping for
almost a week. It had been a very rough day for the little Irken invader. First there was that
suspicious-looking fire hydrant at the end of the street, then a day at the skool which somehow
seemed even worse than the rest, and lastly, the fight with Dib.
The fight was short and couldn't have lasted more than about ten minutes, but it felt so long to
Zim as he remembered nearly every detail. It started after skool had let out. Dib had decided to
follow him home that day, but that was not unusual. The cursed human boy was always trying to
spy on Zim and ruin his brilliant plans to destroy the Earth. The very nerve! It was the fourth day
in a row, and Zim was beginning to get sick of this. So he made up his mind to attack the kid and
possibly get rid of him for the next couple of days.
He turned into an empty alley and waited for Dib to follow. And the very second Dib was close
enough, Zim pounced on him and pinned him to the ground by his arms. Dib, having no idea
what was going on for just an instant, threw Zim into a fence (thus giving him the wound on his
face). Then they just fought for awhile, although it was mostly only the two throwing punches at
each other and missing horribly. That is, until Zim thought to employ the spider legs inside the
device on his back. Zim ended up winning, and left Dib lying there on the ground. The miserable human deserved nothing better.
Though he had some injuries, Zim was the victor, and for that he was proud. Proud, but still very
tired. So without even bothering to remove his disguise, he lifted himself onto the couch, believing that he would sleep longer this night than he had in his entire life. After tomorrow, he would have the weekend to re-energize.
His eyelids shot open a few minutes later when a litle robot body fell from the ceiling, landed right
on Zim, and ran into the kitchen.
"GIR!" he yelled. "How many times do I have to tell you not to disturb me while I'm sleeping?!"
The little makeshift SIR unit popped its head out from behind the TV set.
"Huh?" it said, looking confused.
"You just- wait, I saw you run into the kitchen! What are you doing behind the television?"
"I dunno... I woke up, and... I was here," was its reply.
With an exasperated sigh, Zim got up off the couch and stood still for a few seconds, just to be
sure he wouldn't lose his balance while walking. He and GIR made their way into the kitchen and
began to search around, under the table, inside the trashcan, and in the toilet placed next to the refrigerator. But neither found anything... until they heard a high, robotic voice that simply said:
"HI!!"
Zim whirled around and saw it; another robot which looked very similar to GIR, only it had purple
eyes and was built much more pathetically, with bolts sticking every which way out of its boxy
form.
"What is THAT??" Zim said.
The two robots just stood in silence until GIR seemed to recall something.
"Oh, yeeeah... Tha'z BILLIR! HI, BILLIR!"
"HI, GIR!!" the new "SIR" screamed back.
" 'BILLIR'? What is that, and how did it get in here?" Zim asked, growing very impatient.
"He was outside today while you were at skool, master. So I let him in!"
"And you just let it in?! How do you know it isn't a bomb or something?"
"He's NOT a bomb! I like him! He's my friend," GIR yelped, slightly offended at Zim's remark.
Zim was about to shout back when another thought came into mind.
"Wait... could this possibly be a gift from the Tallest? Maybe this is a reward for coming so far!
Maybe I should ask them about it-"
Then he remembered that GIR had chewed through the wires on the device that he had used to
communicate with the Almighty Tallest.
"-Just as soon as I fix the communicator. I suppose it could stay here until then."
The robots cheered at this. But Zim had made a very big mistake. He had no idea that someone else
was watching him at that very moment.