The Marauder's had requisitioned themselves the best seats by the fire in the Gryffindor common room. Sirius was sprawled in the comfiest chair in an almost elegantly seductive way, the firelight dancing across his face enhancing his handsome features; Peter was squatting at his feet, scrawling away trying to finish his latest Charms essay; James had twisted his chair round slightly so that he could continuously glance furtively at Lily Evans who was studying with her friends across the room; and Remus was sitting cross legged in his chair, an enormous book open in his lap that he was pretending to read.
"I'm bored," declared Sirius. "Prongs, get the map; let's go do something - fun."
"Oooh," squealed Peter. "No, not yet, pleeease. I've nearly finished this."
Sirius tutted and let out a frustrated sigh. He turned his gaze to stare at the girls across the room, with James. As he considered them indifferently he seemed completely oblivious that his attention had caused most of the girls to blush and fall into fits of giggling. Lily turned her head to see what had caused the commotion and spotting James and Sirius both staring at her she glared at them, rolled her eyes and turned away again, shaking her head.
Sirius glanced at James who was subconsciously ruffling his hair again.
"Are you ever going to ask her out, Prongs?" he asked. "Not that I think she'll agree, but at least when you've been rejected we might be able to move on from this."
"I wouldn't be rejected," James stated defensively. "She just needs to realise how irresistible I am first, that's all."
"Right," said Sirius, rolling his eyes again; this was a subject that had been covered many times and Sirius found it almost as boring as doing nothing. He didn't understand why James was continuing to pine after her when she clearly wasn't interested. If he wanted a girlfriend that badly then there were plenty of others in the school he could choose from, though he didn't really see why he would; there was far too much other fun to be had without adding girlfriends into the mix, which, he was sure, would severely cut down on their marauding opportunities. Sure girls were great for eliminating boredom sometimes, but to be stuck with one, the same one all the time, snooping into your private life, trying to find out everything about you, following you around- Sirius preferred to keep things light, and fun; it beat studying anyway. His eyes fell on Remus and his enormous book; but, he supposed, it could go the other way to; too much studying and not enough girls. "Well James, maybe if that ever happens you could put in a word for Moony with her friends; he needs something to take his mind off those books."
"Wh- wh-" Remus spluttered. "I do not need anything of the sort, thank you Sirius."
"Come on, Moony," Sirius grinned mischievously, winding up Remus was always good for comedy value. "When was the last time you had any action with the ladies?"
"I- well- I- I have more important things to think about, Sirius." His cheeks flushed bright pink and he dropped his eyes to his page again, avoiding Sirius gaze. "It wouldn't hurt you to study a little more too."
"Please, Moony. I'm not that bored," he said ending the conversation, but he continued to survey Remus inquisitively with his smokey grey eyes as something occurred to him.
***
The evening played itself out in much the same way as every other evening had recently; as soon as it looked as though Lily was going to bed James hurriedly announced his own departure and dashed across so he had an excuse to say goodnight as he passed her. Peter sat scribbling away until his hand seized up with cramp and then he too left for bed. Soon Remus and Sirius were the only two left in the common room.
"Can I help you with something Sirius?" Remus asked, not looking up from his book.
"What?" Sirius replied, confused.
"You've been staring at me all evening. Have I got something on my face, maybe?" he said, finally looking up and meeting Sirius' gaze, trying his best to ignore the slight twitch in his chest as he did so.
"Sorry," said Sirius, but he continued to study Remus' face nonetheless. "I was just thinking, 's all."
"About what?" Despite himself Remus couldn't help but feel a ripple of hopeful curiosity.
"Well- don't take this the wrong way or anything, Moony- but I just don't think I can ever remember you even so-much-as showing any interest in any girls."
Remus felt his cheeks flush again but held Sirius' stare defiantly.
"So?" he demanded. "I just think studying is more important right now. Besides I hardly think it'd be a great idea for me of all people to go looking for a girlfriend; I doubt my – condition - would stay a secret for very long if I did." He flashed Sirius what he hoped was an 'obviously' kind of face and hoped that had been a good enough excuse to end the conversation once and for all.
Sirius shrugged and stopped staring, dropping his gaze to his knees instead.
"You're sure that's it?" he asked curiously unable to keep the flicker of a grin from his face.. "There's not any other reason?"
"If you're suggesting that I - I stir my cauldron in the other direction then you're wrong Sirius, very wrong." Remus slammed his book shut and tossed it into James vacated seat as he stood up keen to get away from Sirius and his inquisitive stare.
"I'm just saying – you know – it'd be ok if-" Sirius started, standing too.
"I said you're wrong" Remus glared at Sirius but there was something else in his eyes too. He could clearly see that Sirius was still trying to mask his smirk and he could feel irritation bubbling in his stomach.
"Ok, sure," Sirius said, though there was laughter in his voice. "You know – because maybe Lily has a brother...."
Infuriated Remus shoved Sirius hard in the shoulders and made to storm off but Sirius caught him, gripping his elbow firmly and twisting Remus round to face him again. Remus had a fraction of a second to see Sirius grey eyes, full of delight and then suddenly Sirius was kissing him, holding him powerfully with both of his hands.
Remus was too stunned at first to react; his eyebrows shot up into the region of his hairline and his eyes snapped shut. The softness of Sirius' lips and the roughness of his stubble around them made his knees tremble. Then suddenly he realised what was happening, perhaps a moment too late, and he pulled back, pushing Sirius away from him, hard.
"What the hell are you doing?" he demanded his voice raspy and his breathing quicker than before.
"Just checking," Sirius stated innocently, still grinning. Part of Remus wanted to swing a punch at him, but another part wanted to grab Sirius and kiss him again; the longing in his chest ached. Sirius held out a hand for him to shake, "I'll just take your word for it," he said but his tone could not have made it any clearer that he still did not believe him.
Remus pushed the hand away forcefully.
"If you tell anyone about this-" he threatened, moving closer to Sirius and pushing him hard again. "I mean anyone-"
As Sirius steadied himself he gave Remus a disdainful look.
"Come on, Remus" he said "Let's not do this, shall we?" but Remus' face was lined with rage, and he made to push Sirius again. Sirius was too quick this time, however and dodged managing to shove Remus backwards instead.
Remus was breathing hard now and stepped closer to Sirius again, stretching his neck slightly so that their faces were close together. He lunged, grasping Sirius and attempting to wrestle him to the floor. Sirius fought back and the two young men struggled against each other, neither one quite managing to overpower the other. Slowly the struggling slowed and the two men stood squirming slightly, each clutching at the other, neither wanting to release the other and be caught out.
Remus could feel Sirius' breath, warm on his damp lips, his body pressed firmly against his own and his eyes searched Sirius' face; his smokey eyes, his rugged jaw, his soft lips- And then, without thinking about what he was doing, Remus kissed Sirius. The kiss was hungry and aggressive; their lips pressed hard against each other. Remus felt his teeth clash against Sirius' and tasted blood as his lip got caught. His hands clawed at Sirius back and hair, gripping desperately to him. He pressed himself harder against Sirius, the sensation of their bodies touching making his head spin and causing the longing inside him to burn.
All too soon he felt Sirius pushing him gently away. He extracted himself quickly, attempting to look revolted at what had just happened. Sirius had an expression of outstanding surprise across his face; his eyes were wide with shock but an enormous grin spread across his face.
"I knew it," he declared. "Ha Ha!"
Remus' stomach dropped; he felt nauseous.
"Sirius-" he began softly, fear flickering in him.
"Mate, don't worry," Sirius cut across him; his voice reassuring as he shook his head slightly in disbelief. "I won't say anything to anyone; no, not even James. It's your business to tell people."
"B- But what – you – you kissed me!" Remus declared, confused. "You-"
"Like I said, I was just checking, mate." He shrugged matter-of-factly at Remus.
"Then you're not – you don't –"
"Me?!" Sirius asked shocked, but chuckling to himself. "No way! No offence mate but you're definitely not my type!" With that he strode past Remus patting him jovially on the back and made his way up to the boys' dormitory still chuckling and shaking his head.
Remus sank into the nearest chair, not quite able to believe what had just happened. For a foolish moment he had been sure Sirius was about to confess his own feelings but now he felt oddly empty. He had tried to ignore the thoughts of Sirius that occasionally flashed in the front of his mind, but now one had just become a reality and he was sure that they were going to become much harder to disregard; and yet he knew that it would never occur again. Had it been worth it, he asked himself. Definitely.