Disclaimers: I do not own General Hospital and I never will.

Summary: Just some thoughts made by Sonny as he does a blood transfusion for his brother Ric.

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this. Reviews appreciated. (This is not perfect, but I liked it anyway. It came right after I watched the episode.)

I'm looking at you and I'm confused. If it were any other person I wouldn't have hesitated. But it was you. I – I don't know what to do.

Kate says I can never let anyone die unless I was the one who did the killing.

But could I really let you die? Our mother's blood runs through your veins. Her blood runs through mine. Could I let my blood die? You always said that must have counted for something. We're blood. That should matter.

Your father – Trevor begged me to do it. Why? Why would a man like that beg his enemy to save his son? It's because I'm your big brother. I have a responsibility as a big brother to help you when you need it most, but then again – you and I haven't been acting like brothers all our lives. And when we do it's only for a short time. I'm your big brother. Is that a good enough reason?

Ironic, isn't it? I'm your blood and my blood is what you need. I hate you. That's no secret between us. And you hate me for reasons that we both know of. But if I let your blood mingle with mine what could it mean?

I've tried to kill you and you tried to kill me many times, but we saved each other's lives as well.

Seeing you; pale, weak, and broken makes me feel something. What? I'm not sure. Oh, little brother, what can I do? I have to admit it though. I don't like seeing your blood. Your eyes are closed. I never thought I wouldn't like that. Why do I hate it? I guess I never thought I would actually see it. Your eyes are closed. No, I really don't want your eyes forever closed.

Have we ever cared about each other? Yeah, we have. Probably the most evident is during the epidemic. You asked me to take care of your daughter, my niece, if you ever pasted away. And I refused it. Sure, I made the promise, but I refused to believe that you were going to die. Why? In that time, I knew very clearly that I did not want you to die. I wanted you to live. When we had that talk – when you were lying weak and very sick I knew you fought for me. You fought for me so I could get the cure even before you did. I never really thanked you for that. I should have thanked you. It was the first time I regretted not treating you right; the first time we both said that we were out mother's boys: Adella's boys. We took each other's hands. I was sure that maybe things between us will be alright.

But then came my breakdown.

You made the wrong move and I pushed you aside once again. We went back to where we started. I hate you and you hate me. I guess that's how we are.

I've agreed to give you blood. I know that I can't let you die. But I refuse to admit it aloud. I don't know why.

So, I just look long into Kate's eyes and say, "My brother means nothing to me. I did it for you."

Only I know that's really a lie.