Title: Help Me Remember…
Writer: Madame aZure
Fandom: Noblesse;
Pairing: None
Genre: Hurt/Comfort/Family;
Rating: T-M;
Warnings: this fanfiction contains foul language, violence, abuse mentions and drug use. Read at your own risk.
Disclaimer: I do not own Noblesse or any of the characters. No trademark infringement or profit is meant from the writing of this fanfiction.
They made a mistake. They knew it was a trap, they made their plan fully knowing it was a trap, they considered every possible outcome, they were confident everything will go swimmingly. Yet in a split second it happened, all their plans accounting to nothing in that fatidic moment. And it all started with an innocent white lie: 'It'll be fine'.
Over the last few weeks they were constantly being attacked by Union agents. Some megalomaniac, small-time scientist working for the Union caught wind of the fact that they were wanted. He didn't really know who they were or why the Union was after them, since this kind of information was restricted to low ranking people like him. Even so, there was one thing he was sure of: apprehending them represented a one-time opportunity for a promotion. Therefore, he started sending the enhanced agents and modified humans working for him to attack them. Compared to what they have faced, the modified humans he sent were rather weak, but what they lacked in strength, they made up in numbers. After several attacks of the same kind, it was clear that their leader had no intention of facing them directly, content with throwing expendable experiments at them. They guessed that either the scientist was waiting for the constant battles to tire them out and then make his move or he was baiting them into attacking him when they've had enough. Either way, it was a trap and they've decided that it was better to wrap things up quickly, before some Union Elder realized what the scientist was underhandedly doing with the organization's resources.
Tao quickly found him (that scientist wasn't the sharpest tool in the Union's shed if he didn't even know how to properly hide his tracks). According to his info, the scientist used to work under the 12th Elder supervision, but once the Elder died and Union reassigned all the people working for him to a new management, he lost his position in the organization, being reduced to a mere researcher. That mattered little now, because all his plans for a rank advancement, career and life in general would meet a brutal end since he pissed off the only people, besides the Union, whom he wouldn't have wanted to piss off.
It didn't take long for Tao to devise a plan for RK to take him out, even though he had to consider two major obstacles. The first obstacle was that they were literally going to walk into a trap. The second was that, even if they were ready to fight, they weren't exactly in topnotch condition, since the effects of weeks of constant battles were starting to show. As he was filling them in the plan, Tao noticed something was wrong with M-21 and confronted him. The werewolf dismissed his worries, saying that he perfectly capable of fighting, and that, if they did this, they'd finally have some peace and quiet. Tao wasn't really convinced, a certain ominous feeling bugging him, but he trusted his comrade's judgment and continued informing them regarding plan. However, M-21 lied. In addition to fighting in the front lines as RK's vanguard, he also couldn't sleep a wink these last few weeks out of fear of yet another attack – he was exhausted. But even so, he wasn't going to back down now when his comrades needed his help.
~ Z ~
The attack plan went smoother than expected, mainly because Frankenstein had finally snapped and went on a killing spree – how dared these lowlives disturb Master's peaceful high school life? He was going to skin them alive! No one stood a chance against him when he was angry, let alone some petty scientist and his experiments!
The facility was three stories high, and according to the blueprints Tao found, it also had four levels underground. The scientist's main lab was on the lowest level underground and Frankenstein went straight for him, eager to give him a piece of his mind, taking out anyone and anything in his way. Considering that it was safer for them to stay out of his way, Tao left the cleanup of the underground levels to him, and directed the others to the upper floors. Seira took the first floor, Regis the second and M-21 the third, while Takeo stood guard on higher ground, keeping an eye out on the area around the facility in case someone called for reinforcements. They managed to take out every enemy they encountered without too much trouble - even if the enemies were enhanced agents, their level of strength barely reached DA-5's. It was rather satisfying to see that all their training (which mainly consisted of Frankenstein kicking their asses) was finally paying off.
~ Z ~
The battle neared to an end, the last of the enemies being easily defeated. Regis was still fighting some experiments, Tao sending Seira to his aid, not because the noble necessarily needed it, but because he wanted to wrap things up as soon as possible. M-21 and Takeo were on standby, ready to act if something happened. The hacker was checking the building through its surveillance system, looking for anything suspicious, when Frankenstein contacted him.
"Tao, the scientist wasn't in the main lab, nor in any of the underground levels. Could you find him for me?" The homeowner asked in a pleasant voice, but the hacker could almost feel his dark, menacing aura seeping through the earpiece.
"I'm already on it, boss!" the hacker said, looking through the surveillance footage on his laptop. "Everyone, keep a lookout for the scientist, he wasn't in the main lab!" he announced the others through the main communication channel.
They looked around, scrutinizing every inch, every corner in which that rat of scientist could hide, ready to strike back if they were ambushed by him.
"Are we sure he's even here?" Regis asked doubtfully.
"According to the direct orders he's received, he was supposed to continue his research in this facility. Any attempt to leave this place would be considered an act of treason and a reason to be put on the hit list," Tao answered.
"So he was grounded?" M-21 casually asked, yawning.
"Kinda – it's not something unusual, though. When someone important is eliminated, the remaining leaders split between them the people who used to work under that person, reassign them to different facilities and let them continue their work there while keeping them under surveillance. The surveillance is done through a tracking device type of implant that sends a signal back to the Union if they left the designated area or if they removed it. That's how they suppress any thought of…complaint against the sudden changes in administration – it's a little difficult to say no to some higher-rank when all your allies are scattered across the globe and you've got no way of contacting them." Tao explained as he double-checked the info he had.
"Shouldn't we worry about what will happen when the Union Elders find out that they've lost a scientist?"
"Not really, no" Tao truthfully answered him. "He's not exactly a big shot, you know? He wasn't a big shot even when he worked for the 12th Elder. Besides, do you know who you're talking to? I'm Tao! I can cover this up faster than the Union can realize what happened," the hacker said proudly.
"Hey, Tao, I found something," M-21 announced through his earpiece.
"Huh? What is it?" Tao asked switching from the info documents to the video feed he got from the security cameras around M-21's location. "M-21, be careful: the video feed from your location has just been interrupted," he said as he ran a diagnostic program to see why the video has been cut.
"There's something like a hidden entrance. From what I can see, it goes underground," the werewolf described.
"There's nothing marked on the facility's blueprints. M, stay there, I'm sending backups!" Tao ordered and was about to change the communication channel to tell Frankenstein to go to him when 21 sighed and said:
"Look, Tao, I'm tired. I just wanna call it a day and go home to sleep, ok?" He admitted, suppressing another yawn."I'll just have a quick look around, no big deal. It'll be fine. Wait…" he paused for a second. "I hear someone…"
"Don't go there alone, M! There might be a trap!" the hacker warned him.
"I hear someone!" he repeated. "They're crying. There might be experiments victims that can still be saved!"
"M! Don't be reckless! Stay where you are!" Tao all but screamed into the earpiece.
"There's no need to s–" static took over the conversation.
"M? M! Damn it!" Tao cursed. "Boss?"
"Yes, Tao."
"M-21 found an underground level that isn't on the facility's map and went to investigate it, but the connection was interrupted. Please go to his last known location."
"Very well, I'm on it." Frankenstein hurried to where Tao directed him.
When Frankenstein got to him, the scientist was holding M-21 against the wall by the throat with one hand, his other hand clasped tight around a syringe stuck in the werewolf's neck. M-21's arms were hanging lethargically by his side. He was trembling, his mouth opened wide, gasping for air as he couldn't properly fill his lungs, glossy eyes looking into the distance, not really focusing on anything.
"Don't worry, this won't kill you, no, it'll just make you forget," the scientist said laughing maniacally. "I'll force you to stay alive and use you as experimental material. I'll tear you apart just for my amusement and – "he didn't manage to finish his sentence as Frankenstein severed his head from his body with the Dark Spear, black tendrils of fury slicing the air around him. As the scientist's head rolled away and his body hit the ground with a dull sound, the blond rushed to M-21's side to catch him before he hit the ground.
They took him back home and straight to the labs as quick as they could, but they all had the ominous feeling that it was too late. Frankenstein attempted to filter the drug out of his blood through a dialysis process, hoping it would diminish its effects.
Throughout the dialysis, M-21 was awake, looking at all the people fussing around him through half-lidded eyes, but not really seeing them. His skin was sickly pale, dark circles proving just how exhausted he really was, angry red handprints marking his throat. His mouth moved from time to time as if he wanted to say something and couldn't quite get the words out. Most of the time he laid there lethargically, a soft tremor going through him, but sometimes he would start spasming violently. Forcibly removing the drug from his system brought with it withdrawal symptoms – convulsions. Tao and Takeo were by his sides, trying to keep him still so he wouldn't remove the intravenous tubes from his arm by mistake. They tried to calm him down, whispering encouraging words to him: 'Everything's alright.', 'Calm down, it's ok.', 'No one will hurt you.', but they fell upon deaf ears – M-21 wasn't all there anymore.
The process wasn't really slow, but seeing their friend in pain made it feel like it took years to complete. Frankenstein removed the remaining leftovers of the drugs, but it made no difference as the damage was already done. Through his analyses, his worst fears were confirmed – the syringe contained a psychotropic drug used by the Union for memory wiping, and it was a damn efficient one at that.
M-21 slowly fell asleep, Tao running a hand through his hair to comfort him and Takeo holding his cannulated arm. All they could do now was to wait for him to wake up so they could the damage done to his memories.
~ Z ~
M-21 faded in and out of consciousness, but each time his mind managed to wake up, his body wouldn't do the same. It felt heavy, foreign, as if his body was a coffin in which his mind was trapped. He tried to open his eyes, to move his fingers, but to no avail. Around him voices were talking, a bundle of emotions seeping from every word they spoke.
Fade out.
Fade in.
"What do we do if he forgot everything? If he forgot us?" asked a voice, faltering as if its owner was about to cry.
"We'll stand by his side no matter what. He would've done the same for us" another voice spoke, determination hiding the sadness underneath.
Fade out.
Fade in.
"It's my fault, it's only my fault!" a voice cried in frustration.
"It's not your fault – there was no way you could have known about the hidden room. It wasn't even on the blueprints!" another answered.
"But I should have known, I should have –"
A strong slap sound resounded in what seemed to be a room, quieting the voices.
"The damage is already done" a stern sounding voice said. "Dwelling on what could've been done is not going to improve the current situation. I advise you to calm down and pull yourself together, because M-21 needs us now more than ever."
There was a short pause, as if to let the words' meaning sink in.
"But you didn't have to slap me, Regis!"
Fade out.
Fade in.
"Couldn't Raizel-nim do something to help him?"
"Altering memories through psychotropic drugs is a fundamentally different process compared to altering them through mind control," a voice said, sighing. "Memories are basically sets of encoded neural connections in the brain. What this particular drug does is that it affects the synapses through which the neurons implicated in memory encoding are communicating, making it impossible for them to fire together, and thus from forming the memory one wants to recall. Even if it doesn't directly destroy the neurons, by cutting the transmission of nerve impulses between different areas in the brain, this drug usually has disastrous effects not only on the remembering process, but also on one's behavior, speech, thought process and so on. Mind control, on the other hand, overwrites the trigger stimuli at which these neurons answer. For example, if a certain memory is linked to the color red, every time you see it, it makes you remember that certain thing. Mind control shatters the link between the memory and its trigger, but it doesn't do it physically since it is basically a superior form of hypnosis – it simply tricks the neurons into thinking that the stimuli is not associated to the memory they encode. With no trigger to make you need to remember, you can't recall anything, and in time, the neurons used for that memory are reassigned and used for a different one.
Master cannot physically reconstruct the synapses that connect the neurons. Our best bet is to hope that, through his enhanced healing, the destroyed links might reform."
Fade out.
~ Z ~
M-21 sluggishly opened his eyes, blinking away the fuzzy fog that clouded them. His head was spinning and each time he tried to recall something, it spin even faster. He scanned the room around him – it looked like a hospital room, with pristine white walls, a strong antiseptic smell in the air and a constant beeping sound from the vital signs monitoring equipment.
"Hey, M! How are you feeling?" someone asked him in a worried tone.
He flinched at the sound, his head jerking towards the source, standing up quickly. It wasn't a bright idea since this attempt increased his dizziness tenfold, the room spinning violently around him, making him swing to one side, about to fall from the bed. Fortunately, someone caught him in time, protectively wrapping his arms around him.
"Hey, it's ok! It's ok!" the one who caught him said.
M-21 stood still for a few seconds, stupefied, then pushed him away as if his touch burned him. He tried to put some distance between him and the stranger, crawling further on the bed, pulling his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them as if to take as little space as possible. He was genuinely scared, eyes opened wide, breathing quick and shallow, trembling uncontrollably.
The two strangers in his room watched him flabbergasted, sadness flashing in their eyes. The stranger who caught him stepped back. He held his hand up, palms toward M-21 to show that he wasn't a threat. He was tall, with piercing blue eyes and long straight hair that carelessly fell on his broad shoulders. He wore a pair of black jeans and a white shirt that showed his fit physique.
"It's ok, we won't hurt you," he said gently, speaking slowly and clearly.
"We're your friends!" The other stranger said, as he stepped away as well. He was a little shorter, his black hair cut short with one white lock of hair to the side. He was wearing a off-shoulder black top and a pair of skinny blue jeans. "My name Tao and this is Takeo," he introduced them.
Even if he had their names, M-21 didn't recognize the strangers. Now that his dizziness dissipated a little, he realized he didn't even know his own name. All he could remember was being surrounded by people in white coats, people he was terrified of. He remembered being in a room as white as this one. He remembered not being able to move as sharp blades kissed his skin, mercilessly slicing the flesh open, blood gushing out of the wounds. He remembered the revolting smell of burnt skin as they cauterized the wounds' edges. He remembered cold needles digging deeper into his veins, releasing a foreign substance directly into his blood. He remembered something sawing through his bones, the sound making his stomach turn. He remembered them laughing at his pained screams as if all this was just entertainment for them. He remembered praying for death, praying that some god would take mercy on him and stop his heart from beating. That was all he could remember… there was nothing else.
He would have tried to remember more, but his heart sunk when he realized what a grave mistake he's made: he looked straight at them! If these people had any connection to the people in white coats, he was going to be punished. The people in white coats hated to be looked straight in the eyes – they took that as a sign of defiance. He instantly dropped his gaze, bowing his head, hoping, just hoping that they would forgive this slip-up and not make him suffer. He flinched when he heard the door open, but made an effort not to look at the newcomer, thinking that eye contact would only worsen the situation.
"Oh, you're awake." From what he could hear, the newcomer stopped for a second to assess the situation, then came near the bed.
"Boss" one of the strangers warned him, making him stop in his tracks, Tao by the sound of it. "He's not…comfortable with people getting close to him" he said carefully choosing his words.
"I see" the newcomer trailed off, sighing. "M-21?" he didn't know what the word or the code meant, but somehow he knew that this question was directed at him. Was that code something like his name? He wasn't sure, but he was not going to ask. When M made no attempt to answer or to look at him, the new stranger sighed again. "My name is Frankenstein. I am the doctor –"
21 didn't hear the rest of the sentence as the word 'doctor' echoed into his mind, making him gag. Doctor. White coats. He was one of them! He knew it! He knew it! They were going to hurt him again. They were going to cut him, burn him, drug him again and again –
"M-21!" hearing the code distracted him from his derailing train of thought. "I need to take out the IV needle. May I approach you?" Frankenstein asked politely.
M-21 knew it wasn't a real question. His opinions didn't matter in here. Even if he were to say no, they'd just force him. He nodded obediently, because playing their little game put them in a good mood. He heard Frankenstein coming near him, and couldn't suppress the tremor that rippled through him when he saw the edge of a white lab coat. The simple sight of the garment made his breath hitch in his throat, the hair on his nape stand, his heart beat rate a thousand times faster, and his chest constrict around his lungs.
"It's ok, I am not going to hurt you", Frankenstein said, as he prepared something on the table near the bed. "Could you give me your arm, please?" he asked and M-21 obeyed instantly, trembling in fear. His touch was warm and gentle, his moves were calm and measured as he slid the stopper on the IV tube and disconnected it from the needle. M-21 heard someone moving to Frankenstein's side. "Ah, yes, thank you. Please throw this into the yellow container," he instructed the person before focusing on 21 again. He took something from the table, put it on the place where the needle entered the skin, and by the feel of it, it's something fluffy, like a cotton ball, then slowly withdrew the needle out. M-21 shivered at the sensation of something foreign moving under his skin, trying his best not to flinch or move away. Frankenstein threw the needle into a small plastic box on the table, gently putting pressure on the cotton ball. "Please hold this in place until the bleeding stops."
M-21 grabbed his arm with his free hand, clutching tightly the cotton ball into place. He heard the doctor take something from the table again. When he returned to his side, M instinctually showed his arm again. Frankenstein removed the cotton ball, discarding it away, then put a white plaster over the small wound.
"Now, I know you are afraid and that you don't trust us, but know this: we are your family. We won't hurt you or do anything to you without your consent. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask" he finished, waiting for an answer, and seeing as he got none, he sighed.
M-21 didn't reply, the word 'family' ringing into his head. Family? They were his family? How? If they were his family, then why would they let the white coats do something so awful to him? Why was he a white coat? He shivered feeling Frankenstein's gaze on him. Was he studying him? Pitying him?
"Miss Seira must've finished preparing the dinner by now" Frankenstein stated as a matter of fact. "Do you think you're strong enough to walk?" he asked.
M-21 nodded sharply. He lied, he still felt dizzy, but if he told the truth, they would start doing tests on him, taking his blood for analyses and cutting him again. It was safer to lie.
"I see. Takeo, Tao, please show him where his room is, then come down for dinner," the doctor ordered as he turned from the bed, seemingly about to leave.
"Sure, Boss" the two answered.
Frankenstein left the room without another word. Silence took over the atmosphere, weighting heavy on M-21's shoulders as he didn't know what was going to happen to him from now on. He was alone in a room with two strangers – he didn't like it. He braced himself when he heard someone approach him, offering him a hand.
"Do you need help to stand up?" Takeo asked.
M-21 shook his head and pushed aside the blanket that covered him, trying to stand up. With a sharp intake of breath he clutched the table as his vision flashed white, a ringing sound echoing in his ears, his knees going weak. He breathed deeply through gritted teeth to chase the nauseating sensation away. He had to hide it from them or he would become subject to another painful experiment. As far as he was concerned, this place had only two rules: obey the orders and hide the change – that's how you survived in the labs. Letting them know that whatever they did to him had an effect on him was just another reason to be dissected and examined.
"M?" Tao asked worried. "Are you ok?"
M-21 nodded. They waited for a few seconds to make sure that he was really ok, then lead him out of the room, down a corridor and into an elevator. They were always keeping a safe distance between them and 21 was grateful for that as he was afraid of them. When the elevator doors opened, they revealed what looked like a normal house hall, with beige walls, wooden floors and multiple doors on each side. A strange, pleasant smell in the air that made M-21's stomach rumble in delight. They showed him to one of the doors, opening it to reveal a room.
"This is your room" Tao stated. "Do you want to take a look around or do you wanna go down for dinner?"
When M-21 didn't speak, Tao said in defeat: "Dinner it is."
They lead him downstairs into a spacious living room, where besides doctor Frankenstein there were three new people. From the corner of his eyes, he saw two young looking men and a woman. One of the men had jet-black hair, scarlet eyes that seemed to pierce right through him, adorning a simple, yet elegant white suit. His whole demeanor denoted royalty, as if he was used to people revering him. He was waiting at the table, watching how the other two strangers brought the food plates. The other two looked like they were siblings, both having white hair and red eyes, wearing similar white suits, moving with such an elegance as if everything they did was part of an waltz.
"They are Miss Seira, Regis and Raizel," Tao introduced them as well, gesturing to each as he told him their names.
M-21 quickly glanced in their direction to know who was who, but then averted his gaze. They greeted him politely, carrying on their task, occasionally taking a glimpse at him. Takeo showed him to one of the chairs, while everyone got seated at the table. The atmosphere was awkward, feeling everyone's eyes on him, studying him – M was used to being studied by the white coats, but that doesn't mean he was comfortable with it.
Frankenstein cleared his throat, which distracted those around the table, giving M-21 enough time to let out the breath he was unknowingly holding.
"M-21, you can eat whatever you want. I assure you the food is safe." Frankenstein said carefully. M-21 tried to suppress a shiver. It had to be a trap! He was one of the people with white coats! From his perspective, this situation had two outcomes. It could, A: be one of white coats' little games, where they'd put him in a difficult situation where every choice was wrong. If he tried to touch the food he would surely be punished. If he didn't touch it, while being told to eat, he would go against an order, which brought punishment as well. Well, he wasn't exactly told, more like asked, but he knew that every sentence spoken to him was the outline of a subtle command. Or B, the food was laced with drugs and he was playing the role of a guinea pig. What could he do?
He felt his ribcage constricting around his lungs like a python looking to squeeze all the air out of him: there were too many people around him. Doctor Frankenstein was a white coat: where the other working for him? With him? And why did this place look like a normal house? He must've been one of those eccentric scientists with bizarre obsesions. What if he was interested not only in experimenting on M-21, but also in… touching him in certain ways too? M's stomach turned in abhorrence when he recalled the unfortunate nights when some sick scientist forced him into doing that. Then again, is pretty hard to say no when you're drugged stupid…
He tried to calm down to better hide the fact that he was terrified, but couldn't quite stop the shaking of his hands. He mustn't let his mind wonder like that, he had a decision to make: should he eat or not?
Noticing that M-21 seemed to be struggling with a panic attack, Frankenstein sighed in defeat (he did sigh a lot today). The werewolf wasn't going to eat anything if things went like this. Moreover, none of the household members were eating, each of them bearing the same troubled expression as himself. Even Master hadn't touched the food, worry clouding his usually temperate conduct. From Frankenstein's understanding, M-21 must've thought that he was caught in a situation with seemingly no chance of escape: he was surrounded by unknown people, whom he instinctually regarded as threats, with no memories to rely on. If they wanted to make this situation more comfortable for him, they had to give him the option to flee, to run from this stressful environment.
"M-21?" Frankenstein asked calmly, controlling the tone of his voice so it didn't sound forced or threatening. "You may go to your room. We'll bring you food there."
M's heart sank hearing the order. Has he failed to meet their expectation? Damn it, he should've decided sooner what to do! Oh god, they were going to force him to stay awake with drugs then rip him apart while he was conscious and aware of everything.
Nonetheless, he got up and left the living room without a word, going to the room Tao and Takeo showed him. What was done was done - the only thing he could do now was to wait and pray that they might take mercy on him and not torture him too much, though he seriously doubted it.
~ Z ~
Takeo got up and went to prepare a tray with food for M-21, then disappeared upstairs to deliver it.
"He's terrified of us," Regis stated somberly. Before Takeo and Tao brought M-21 in the living room for diner, Frankenstein told them about the werewolf's condition and advised them to act calmly around him, as he was rather afraid of people. Regis was certain that things would be different now that the drug affected M-21's memories, but even so, he expected his comrade to keep his snarky attitude and defiant behavior. He expected him to instinctually associate them with the Union and fight back, rebel, make trouble, not act like this. He didn't expect him to be so… broken. Just what were those scientists at Union doing to people?
"You should've seen him when Frankenstein approached him," Tao said, no mockery in his tone. "He looked close to fainting when he saw his lab coat."
"I must admit that was a mistake on my part. I should've assumed that he would be terrified of people wearing that." Frankenstein sighed, massaging the bridge of his nose. "I didn't think that his memories would be so affected."
"Does that mean he doesn't remember anything at all?" Regis questioned, distress clouding his scarlet eyes.
"It means that, based on his behavior, he has lost all his memories up to the times when he was still being experimented on," Takeo said as he returned, taking his seat at the table.
"His memories aren't lost," Raizel's voice chimed through air so delicately, like the sound of crystal bell. "They are… shattered, scattered, locked."
Everyone looked at perhaps the most powerful being alive, whose strength could literally obliterate even the mightiest of enemies. Yet even he was at loss as to what could they do in this situation. While M-21 was still asleep, Raizel tried to help him, despite Frankenstein telling him it was futile. He connected his mind to the werewolf's in mental link. Just like before, he saw M-21 floating into a mass of white, though this time there was something different. Memory shards like pieces of broken glass were floating aimlessly around him, some colliding and breaking on the impact, others fusing for a second then separating again. Raizel raised his hand and unleashed his power, a single command passing through his lips: "Remember!". He forced all his mind control onto the shards, hoping to make them merge again. But the moment his power touched the shattered memories looking to mend them, they reacted violently and broke even in smaller pieces, drifting farther away one from another. Seeing this reaction, Raizel frowned, instantly suppressing his power. Frankenstein was right, he couldn't help him…
~ Z ~
The next few days were a little difficult for the household members. M-21 wouldn't leave his room unless someone came to get him, and each time he was in the company of someone he would become defensive and wary of that person. If he was told to follow, he would do it without question. In truth, he didn't even spoke, content with only nodding and shaking his head when he was being addressed to. He wouldn't look them in the eyes and would keep his head bowed, back a little hunched, shoulders drawn in. He was exceptionally cautious around Frankenstein, backing away every time the scientist passed by him.
Inviting him to have meals with them wasn't a really good idea since being at the same table with all of them was making him so anxious he wouldn't touch the food. Realizing that their presence was distressing for him, they compromised a little: if they let him stay into his room and brought him food there, he would hesitantly nibble on it. He wasn't eating much, but it was better than to starve himself to death. Frankenstein started to worry about this, since he wasn't having a healthy meal, but didn't know how could they make him eat more, seeing as he didn't trust them at all. He had anticipated it would be difficult to accommodate M-21. It was as if they were trying to tame an abused animal – unless they gained his trust on his own terms, every attempt at approaching him could do more harm than good.
Everyone had different ways of handling the situation. Tao would talk to him even if M-21 didn't answer. Takeo took upon himself the responsibility of bring him food to his room. Frankenstein tried to avoid coming near him, seeing as he perceived as being like the people that experimented on him. Regis saw that his movements and way of speaking around him to be calm and collected. Seira would offer him sweets, even if he wouldn't eat them, unless he was left alone. And Raizel would be Raizel: elegantly drinking his tea and enjoying his ramen.
The only improvement they noticed was that he wasn't flinching as much in their presence as he did in the beginning – either he realized they weren't a threat or his werewolf instincts recognized them as being part of his pack.
Another thing Frankenstein has noticed was that, sometimes, when M-21 thought they weren't paying attention to him, he would throw them fugitive glances. He seemed to study them, as if he somehow recognized them but didn't exactly know from where.
Although none wanted to admit it, the same thought passed through the household members' minds: they missed M-21. They missed his glares, his nasty temper, his heated verbal sparring seasons with Regis, his cynical comebacks, his protectiveness. Now they had to get used to the current M-21: broken, abused, afraid.
~ Z ~
M-21 was in his room, lying on the bed, thinking. These last days were really weird: no experiments, no tests, no drugs slipped into his food, no beatings, nothing like back in the labs. Which was a little unsettling, because either it meant that he was finally safe or that they were preparing something atrocious for him. He could only pray it wasn't the latter.
In addition to this already odd situation, something else was happening: every now and then he had these… flashbacks. He couldn't recall full memories, but certain aspects of it like smell, sound, touch. He remembered children laughing – no images, no people, nothing else but the clear, joyful sound of their voices. He remembered jokingly telling someone: "Mind your own business, you meddlers" at which those persons laughed. He remembered the feel of his muscle aching after intensely training with someone, so annoyed at that person that his only wish was to punch them once in their cocky face. He remembered a room with white walls and white tiles, which he usually associated with the thought of being experimented on, but this one smelled like cookies, not drugs. He remembered getting a sneezing fit and a runny nose when someone jokingly hid a dog-repellent plant in his room. He also remembered the satisfaction pouring non-toxic colorant in that person's shower gel, making them blue for two days.
These memories were… pleasant. Although he couldn't really link them to people, places or periods of time, they were comforting, they made him feel safe. They were a statement that he wasn't completely robbed of who he was. Before all this he had a life, a home, people he cared about, people who care about him… just like the people he was currently living with. Maybe, just maybe, he could try to trust them. So far they haven't done anything to hurt him – on the contrary, they acted like they were protecting him. They were always cautious around him, making sure he's comfortable, announcing their presence so he wouldn't flinch, always keeping the safe distance at which he wouldn't tremble in fear. They spoke and moved calmly around him, they greeted him and talked to him like to a normal person, even if he wasn't answering them.
No! He still couldn't trust them completely. He forced himself to think things critically and not give them the hasty presumption trustworthiness. From what the memories that were still complete told him, he knew that people were bad. Being around people brought with it pain, suffering and fear. His reflexes seemed attuned to responding to constant harm. Yet, behind all this, behind the horrifying memories of being tortured, behind the logical assumption that he still didn't fully know them, back in the deepest parts of his mind, there was a voice. A voice that reacted to their presence and repeated strange words over and over again. Safe. Home. Friends. Happiness. Help.
Family.
Were they really his family?
~ Z ~
Takeo was going to M-21's room with a tray with food, when he saw Tao waiting by the door. He was fidgeting, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, seemingly lost in his thoughts, clutching tightly in his arms something that looked like a book.
"Tao, what are you doing?" the sniper asked, waking up the hacker out of his reverie.
"Oh, hi, Takeo. I've –" he stuttered, looking insecure. "I've finished the scrapbook," he said showing it to Takeo, smiling sadly. The past few days Tao had been intensively working on a scrapbook filled with all the memories they shared with M. It contained pictures, stories, and little things of sentimental importance. It wasn't like a mere book could magically undo the damage done, but in that cluster of paper the hacker has poured all his hope. It was a childish attempt, yes, but asides letting time heal his friend, what could he do? Maybe this would account to nothing, maybe it was that little miracle they've been searching for.
"I wanted to show it to him – " his words died in his throat.
"That sounds like a good idea," the sniper reassured him, smiling. "Go for it!"
Tao looked at his former comrade for a second, the sniper encouraging smile helping him find the courage he needed. He made his mind, breathed deeply and knocked on the door.
"M? It's Takeo and Tao. Mind if we come in?" he announced in a slightly louder voice to make himself heard through the door. There was a rustle of covers and a soft creak, but no answer, as always.
"Ok, we're coming in!"
Tao opened the door, letting Takeo enter first with the tray. M-21 sitting was on his bed, knees pulled to his chest. He threw a quick glanced in their direction, then averted his gaze. The sniper put the tray on the bed next to him, and while he usually left the room right after bringing it, this time he remained on the spot near the bed.
"We have something for you," Tao said shyly, coming closer to him, handing him the book. M-21 stared at it for a few seconds, then looked through his eyelashes at the hacker (he seemed to develop a bad habit of looking at people). Tao was nervous, his body posture tense, making evident efforts to calm himself.
M pondered the situation a little – if this was the horrifying outcome he's feared, it wasn't very impressing, to be honest. It really looked like a simple book. He sighed, hesitantly taking it. The hacker backed away by Takeo's side as soon as the scrapbook was in M's hands, anxious to see how M reacted to his scrapbook.
The scrapbook had a dark gray hard cover, with the word 'Memories' stylishly written on it. Upon opening it, the first thing that M-21 noticed was glitter – lots and lots of colorful glitter decorating each page. Where there wasn't any glitter, there would be an equally colorful sticker. It looked like it was put together by a child. He flipped through it, the paper heavy from all the things glued on it. On some pages there were short stories depicting what seemed to be everyday events, with small drawings visually depicting them The drawings were small, clumsy and amateurish, with pencil marks around them as if its drawer drew and erased them repeatedly. On other pages, there were little things such as: movie tickets, the photocopy of three driver's licenses belonging to the three of them, pressed flowers and leaves, various quotes, song lyrics, ribbons and drawings. It was a… cute scrapbook. However, what really got M-21's attention were pictures on most pages, with captions written underneath them.
There was a picture with the three of them sleeping on the couch. M-21 was in the middle, head slightly tilted back, with a peaceful expression on his face. Takeo was leaning on him, resting his head on M's shoulder, his hair flowing freely around him. Tao was curled on the couch like a cat, with his head on M-21's lap, hugging his pocket laptop to his chest. The caption underneath was 'Hard day training'.
Another picture showed Seira braiding Takeo's hair. He had his eyes closed and seemed to be telling something to the noble. 'Girl's night out'.
There was a picture with Tao and Raizel in the kitchen. Tao was smiling from ear to ear at the camera, wearing a pink apron, his face smeared with flour. Raizel was contently eating some cookies from a plate on the counter, not paying any attention to him or the camera. 'Project C.O.O.K.I.E. – Success!'
One picture showed Regis, Raizel and Seira in stunning outfits alongside four high school kids. The boys wore suits, while the girls adorned gorgeous dresses. 'Prom night'.
On one page there was a picture of Frankenstein who seemed to be lecturing an upset M-21 with red, watery eyes and an equally red, runny nose, and a blue Tao, who was pouting, looking away. 'Grounded (aka. never put lavender M's room)'.
On the last page, there was a picture of all the household members. Above them hanged a bright colored banner reading the words 'Happy Birthday' on it. 'A year since we were adopted :)'.
Without realizing, M-21 let his finger caress the picture. They seemed so happy. He seemed so happy…His sight suddenly got blurry – huh, what was happening? He lifted a hand to his eyes, feeling something warm and wet. Was he crying? He looked at Takeo and Tao who were startled by his reaction.
"No, no, no, don't cry, don't cry," pleaded Tao, waving his hands in panic, caught between wanting to flee the room to leave him alone and getting closer to M-21 to help him with whatever was wrong.
"We're sorry, we didn't mean to upset you," Takeo said anxiously, hesitantly handing M-21 a handkerchief, which the werewolf accepted.
"Are you ok? Are you hurting? Do you want us to leave?" Tao assaulted him with questions, looking worried.
M wiped his tears, sniffing. Why was he crying? They haven't done anything to make him cry. Yet looking at these pictures brought a strong wave of nostalgia. It was like before when he had the flashbacks. This time he remembered what he felt in those moments, like each picture contained a story that had its place somewhere in his memories. He just had to find where did each puzzle piece fit in his mind and somehow tape it to whatever was left of his memories. He sighed and looked at the two.
"I'm ok."
They looked flabbergasted to hear his voice. Well, given the fact that he hasn't spoken a word since he woke up in this house, it was understandable.
"You finally spoke…" Takeo realized in a quiet tone.
"I-if you're uncomfortable with us here, we can leave you alone," Tao trailed off.
The werewolf looked at them. Like in the last few days, they seemed to be torn apart between different emotions: sadness that he didn't remember them, frustration when they found themselves unable to help, happiness whenever M-21 showed any sign of improvement, longing for their old friend, determination to do whatever it takes to mend his broken self, protectiveness to make him feel safe. But now there was something different in their eyes. A new spark: hope.
"You can stay, if you want to," M said, sniffing, averting his eyes to the side.
Both Tao and Takeo's expressions brightened up with smiles.
"Sure, only if you want to," the hacker answered for the two of them.
"Can you…" M-21 seemed to muster his courage to speak, so they patiently waited for him. "Can you tell me more about these pictures? The story behind them?" he asked hopefully.
"Of course," Takeo said, drawing a chair near the bed and taking a seat, while Tao happily plopped on the bed.
"On one condition, though," Tao intervened. "You have to eat something!"
"Ok," M-21 said, pulling the tray closer to him, smiling contentedly.
"By the way, Tao," the sniper said, looking at the scrapbook. "Why's there so much glitter?"
The hacker pondered the question for a second, then shrugging, he said:
"It's shiny!"
THE END :)