Finer Feelings – Chapter I

Meredith snapped back.

She had been trailing off with her thoughts but now she took a deep sigh and looked around her. Her house. Well, her candles. Her candles which had taken an hour for her to set up, constantly worrying that Derek would show up half way through and wonder what the hell some crazy women was doing throwing candles around his land.

Meredith sat down on the illuminated earth and looked out at faint light of Seattle in the distance.

She was free. For once in her life…just free. No guilt in her stomach, no small voice warning her in the back of her head, just clarity.

Meredith looked down at the bottle of warm champagne in her and lay down in her hallway. Scratching the label slightly she looked up at the stars. Derek. He was actually going to break it off with Rose before it got all complicated and whatever. And for some reason, she had no doubt she would. Letting go of the past made her trust him for some reason. Derek was going to come back. But what then?

But what then?

Meredith propped herself up from the grass as the question resonated through her head. What then? House? Marriage? Children? Mid-life Crisis? Retirement? Meredith frowned slightly as cliques of normal life rushed past.

A cold wind rose for a second and her face softened. Who the hell cares what happens, she's with Derek, and she's in for the long run – that's all that mattered.

She's with Derek.

She was free.

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Callie let herself drift off, in ecstasy just to remain there, eyes closed as she could feel the warmth just millimetres away from her lips, the hot breath enveloping her.

"Wow."

Callie opened her eyes suddenly to see Hahn close to her, a grin forming on her face.

"That was even better then last time."

Callie gulped and readjusted herself. "Ah, yeah." She looked at Hahn again and her stomach tied. "It…that was." Callie smiled.

"So," Hahn tore her eyes away from Callie look down at her bag, forgotten on the bench. "I gotta find my keys. Like, right now."

"You trying to take me back to yours?" Callie raised her eyebrows suggestively.

"Yeah." Hahn trailed off as she tried frantically to look through her bag, chucking out all the contents on the bench. "It's not working that well though…"

Callie laughed. "Come on, I'll get you a drink."

Hahn quickly looked up at Callie. "Ah, I'm taking that as a bad sign."

"Not at Joes." Callie replied coolly. "But I know a good place, and they have some really good breakfast service."

Hahn smiled and packed her bag again, slinging it over shoulder. "Well," She put out her hand, "Shall we?"

Callie glanced down at Hahn's hand, a flood of doubt suddenly rushed past. But she gulped in down and placed her hand out, letting Hahn enclose it softly, and they walked down the courtyard together.

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Rose let the couch swallow her as she lay back and stared at the ceiling of her apartment, sucking on a red liquorice stick dangling out of her mouth. She needed sugar, and lots of it. But then thinking about a lot of sugar made her think about dying in a diabetic coma which then made her think of Derek, which would then make her think about…well, basically she couldn't think about Derek. Because she knew, she knew what was going to happen, the second they were there in the scrub room.

Well, she knew that's what happens when you get in between the couple.

Rose tore off a chunk of liquorice. How could she have been so stupid? I mean, the tales of Derek and Meredith were practically all the nurses lived off for a year. But it wasn't her fault. He was, well, dreamy. She really did like him – yes, maybe for a second love him – and she did think that she liked her, but, probably not enough.

She heard the faint ding of the elevator down the hallway and she sat up in her couch, once more knowing anxiously on her red liquorice stick.

There was a knock on her door.

Sighing, she sat up from the couch and walked towards the door, quickly popping her nearly finished candy in the kitchen bin. Drawing in breath, Rose put her hand on the door handle and opened it.

"Heya Derek."

Derek looked down at Rose sadly, his hand stuffed in his jacket pockets. "Rose…"

"You wanna drink?" Rose cut him off, letting Derek step cautiously into her apartment, the door closing behind him.

"I'm fine." Derek said simply and Rose stopped as she pulled out two glasses from the cupboard. "Listen," Derek started slowly, "we need to…I need to say something."

Rose nodded slowly. "Meredith…"

Derek looked down. "I can't help it, it's just that…I mean she's – "

"The one." Rose finished.

Derek looked back up at her. "I'm sorry Rose, I'm sorry – I'm sorry for doing this to you. I feel awful, like I took advantage of you when I needed something else – "

"Hey," Rose smiled meekly. "I was consensual."

Derek stared at Rose for a second. "Listen, I didn't – "

"It's ok." Rose interjected again. "I understand. She's the love of your life."

At those words a smile appeared on Derek's face which he quickly had to force down in front of Rose. There was a moment of silence. Derek tilted his head slightly and smiled warmly at Rose. "Thank you. I know this isn't any consolation at all but, thank you. You helped me. You probably wished you never helped me figure stuff out now, but truly – thank you. I just hope you find someone, someone who deserves you."

"Yeah," Rose sighed sarcastically. "Who knows; Sloan's always lookin'."

Derek smiled slightly then stuffed his hands in his pockets. "But I should…"

Rose felt her insides tie up again. "Yeah. You should. I'll see you around then."

"Yeah." Derek opened the door and turned around again. "Good bye Rose."

And with that, he was gone.

Rose stood in silence for a second then walked dully over to her couch, crashing herself over it. Lying there for a second, Rose looked over to the coffee table where the candy packet lay, grabbed a stick then tore off a piece of red liquorice into her mouth.

Well, at least he's happy now.

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NB: Why, hello! This is me! Doing another post-season-greys –fic! Why? No idea. Just finished exams so currently twiddling my thumbs thinking what the hell should I do now. The answer? Fanfic. Always fanfic. And what better than to do post-OMGthegreatestkissever-seenlasttwominutesonethousandtimes-fic?

Exactly.

So. I know there's probably thousands of way better post-freedom fics but I thought I may as well have a stab at it, cause writing greys is fun. But – now for some admin. Thinking about character progression, was thinking that Cristina should really get someone. But the only way I could do that is by bringing in a new character. And, you know, that could be weird having a new character. What do you think?

But yesh, please tell me how you think I'm going, so I can stop this crap before it swamps the INTER-WEB. Thus, REVIEW!!