The
clock chimed once in the dark room, breaking the heavy silence. A
tall figure was crouched over a book, seaming unable to sit up any
longer in the leather armchair it was sitting in, giving in to
exhaustion.
Severus Snape heaved a sigh, closing the respectably
thick pink-covered book. The usual queasiness and satisfaction he
usually felt after having finished reading a masterpiece replaced by
a strange feeling close to confusion. Severus stretched his long
legs, throwing his head back, the book lying on his lap. He glared at
it reproachfully, as if it were alive and quite aware of all the
trouble it had caused. Printed on its cover was the close-up picture
of a young girl's face. Her emerald eyes were slightly blood-shot
and reminded Severus of a long-lost friend. The title ´The perfume'
was embossed over the words ´The story of a murderer'.
Severus
tilted his head to the front, sinking into depression.
Yes, like
the book's main character Jean-Baptiste Grenouille, he had been
rejected by society. Yes, he had once tried to flee those people
before trying to step back among them. Yes, he had once wished he
could be above them all, to teach them all... He sighed again.
He
had, however, stood up for himself than Grenouille, managing to
create his own imposing, impressive, antisocial persona. But what use
had it been? Today he felt lonelier than ever, useless, unloved.
He
closed his eyes and started day-dreaming.
Would his life be any
better if he'd got to wake up in a warm bed with someone there to
smile kindly to him and wish him ´good morning'? To
have a hug once in a while? To wrap his arm around someone's thigh
while sitting comfortably on the couch, reading a good book? Of
course it would. But some people weren't meant to be happy, and
Severus had learnt that a long time ago...
What was the use
fighting everyday for a life he hadn't asked for anyway? He felt
like an alien lost in a world he didn't understand. He had nothing
to lose anyway, solitude being his sole companion. He had nobody to
live for, his thrice damned father having never cared for
him and the only friend he ever had was long dead.
What
about Albus and Minerva? asked a small voice shyly in his head. What
about them? They'll be grieving a few days before they forget him
totally. Or not.
What-do-I-care? he repeated angrily to himself.
The world had never had any compassion for him, why should he have
any compassion for the world now? Sooner or later, he'd have to do
it; he had come to the Point of no Return. No point putting it off
for later.
He heaved himself from his armchair, dropping his book
in process. He didn't stoop to pick it up, but headed straight
towards a large ebony cupboard. He flung it open, the door slamming
on the wall beside, and started to search for a small vial hidden
among all the headache drafts. Finally, he found the fragile
recipient filled to the rim with an inky black fluid. Severus
carefully took it out and before he could have any afterthought,
brought the vial to his lips and up-turned it in one quick movement
to swallow its content in one gulp.
The substance's effects were
immediate: Severus' hands stiffened and made him losen his grip on
the vial, which shattered on the floor. He gasped and brought his
hands shackingly to his throat. His eyes widened and his face lost
the little color it had left. He fell to his knees, trembling
uncontrollably. Dark blood started oozing out of his mouth, making
him choke. He felt cold. His sight was a blur, the room spinning
around him, his gaze unfocused. Lying on his side, he had the
sensation he was falling very slowly into nothingness.
The world had gone black.
A few feet away, ´The perfume laid innocently on the floor.
Minerva
McGonagal mixed up moodily some sugar to her oatmeal, sending bits of
grayish glop flying around her bowl, but she didn't seam to notice.
She was forced out of her thoughts and back to the present by a
pleasant voice punctuated by mischief.
´Minerva, do stop these
avenging attempts on your breakfast, I dare say it has been punished
more than enough for whatever sin it it has committed'.
´Oh
Albus, I just can't stand it any longer! Severus nearly never shows
up for breakfast, when he's a head of House, for heaven's
sake!'She pushed her bowl away from her so hard, it was sent off of
the table and landed on a table below, making the students
scream.
´Sorry for that, Thomson', she called down over the
roars of laughter coming from the other tables. Dumbledore's lips
twitched. It was quite rare to witness Minerva losing control.
´How
in the world will he ever socialize?!'she retorted after
acknowledging this ghost of a grin on the headmaster's face.
´You
know, Minerva, I'm not even sure he really wants to', he replied
sadly. Minerva glared at him, too shocked to speak.
Minerva
sat in an age-worned arm-chair, looking over a few essays,
feeling too bad-tempered to grade them properly. It was quarter past
nine before she heard students running down the corridor, whooping.
She stamped to the door and violently opened it, shocking two first
years that happened to be right in front of it.
´Mr Barrows, Mrs
Lyne, would you care to explain the reason for all this tantrum?'
she barked at them.
´Professor Snape's absent, professor,
didn't you know?'
´What do you mean?'
'We've been
waiting for ten minutes, but he didn't show up, so we-'
Pushing
them aside, she ran down to the dungeons, worried sick. Never, in
nearly eighteen years of teaching, had Severus missed a class, even
if he turned out to be gravely ill, or after a night spent being
tortured by Voldmort and his followers.
She knocked on the door,
calling him, but got no answer. Losing patience, she drew her wand up
from her sleeve and blasted the door open. The he was, spread on the
floor, his face a deadly white, blood trickling down from his bottom
lip.
Panicked, Minerva ran to him and bent down on her knees
besides him. She checked his pulse, and-relieved she could find
one-noticed how feeble it was. His hands were ice cold. She had no
time to lose.
She stumbled to the fire-place, lit a fire and threw
a green powder she had taken from a tin box on the mantelpiece at it.
She called both Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey, before rushing back to
Severus. She felt the need to stay at his side, feeling this was a
moment when he'll need her most. She'll be ready to comfort him
the moment he'll regain consciousness.
Tears she had been
trying to hold back started running down her cheeks while she gazed
at that pale face, so serene, so still.
She let out a sob.
