A/N: Book three everyone! I can't wait to get to the last 4. Those are the ones I figured I would have the most fun with. But on a more serious note, I have enjoyed this series pretty well. Regardless of mistakes I've seen and haven't fixed. I'll do that one day, but for now, lets get started.
We got of the plane and Henry took us near the Leaky so we could get to Diagon Alley. I knew Harry was affected by his jetlag judging by how green his face was.
"Jetlag is something you have to get used to kid," I told him.
"Just how often have you traveled by plane?" he asked me.
"I average about 40 trips a year. Counting taking a plane back of course," I told him.
"So it obvious how you're used to jetlag while I'm standing here having a hard time functioning in society," Harry told me.
"Don't worry about that kid. Just about everyone loves you. Well, except the dumbasses and the number of kids who would probably want to be in your position. I mean, a wizard AND the foster child of the richest man in the Muggle world? You got a lot of things that would incite jealousy from people," I told him.
"You have a point there. Then again, I would still be here whether you were rich, middle class, or poor. Simply cause of the fact that you actually care," Harry explained.
"There are not many people who I really give a shit about. I believe quite a few people have a right to live, but most of them I don't really give a shit about. You, Hermione, and the Weasleys are the only ones on that list. I suppose Severus is too."
"You suppose?"
"To be honest, I don't know too much about the man to really care about him, now do I? Anyway, since Ron begged and pleaded that we come back during the last day of summer, we're gonna meet up with him at the Leaky Cauldron."
"Why in the world did we vacation in Japan in the first place?"
"Cause of a song I heard. Plus it's one of the few places I've never been, so I decided to give it a shot."
"Let me get this straight. A song convinced you that we should vacation in Japan, so we did."
"Tokyo, Japan. And yes. Yes it did. I have a right to visit any other country I wish. And you have to admit. The strippers were hot," I said while grinning and nudging him playfully. Harry smiled.
"Very hot. Ok, that was worth the entire trip I have to admit. And the fact that you took to different ones to make sure I got the full experience makes me wonder about you. I don't know if you're single by choice or if it's just because you like being a pervert," he said while grinning from ear to ear. I pretended to look offended by his statement before it turned into a grin.
"It's by choice son. When you've got the life I do, it has to be by choice. That is, if you don't want to cause the death of people you love," I told him simply.
"Am I an exception to the rule?" Harry questioned.
"Yes. Simply because you have the advantage of magic, a few of my teachings, and you're away at Hogwarts most of the year, where you're safe. I can't really give anyone I date the same luxury. If I know most women, which I actually do, is the fact that they do not want to be smothered by me or personal security guards who watch over their every move. Plus it wouldn't be much of a relationship with Hogwarts going on, the occasional Vigilante work... The problems are just so high that I can't risk it," I said frustratingly. Sometimes I hate the fact that I chose this career path.
"How about you hook up with Tonks? She's definitely exempt from the rule," Harry told me.
"And you think I have not thought of this why? I haven't talked to her since the train home from first year. Any hope for a relationship is long gone," I told him. Even though I hid it well, this really left me bitter. I was a brutal bastard, but when I loved, I loved with all of my might.
"That's pretty depressing. That doesn't mean you should stop trying in the wizarding world though. There's bound to be someone," Harry told me.
"I love how I need you to tell me this. Normally it's the other way around," I told him before smiling. "Thanks."
"No problem. Someone has to be your therapist for the pool of angst that's swimming around in your head," Harry told me. "There's a lot more to you that people don't know."
"It's unlikely anyone will know besides you, so keep that in mind," I told him.
We rode out the rest of the car trip in silence before walking into the Leaky Cauldron. We walked through Diagon Alley and we saw Hermione and Ron outside of the Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor. Me and Harry smiled and looked at each other before nodding and lowering ourselves into a crouch. We then snuck up behind the both of them and yelled loudly behind them, causing them both to throw their ice cream high in the air.
Me and Harry began laughing loudly to the point where we could barely stay on our feet.
"That was not funny!" Hermione said sternly while holding her heart. That still didn't deter our laughter.
"Yes it was. For us at least," I said, trying to catch my breath.
"If I didn't know it was you, I would've cursed the piss out of you," Ron said grumpily.
"I was ready for it too. But there wasn't even a point to do so," I said, my laughter fading.
"Putting that trick you played on us aside, it's good to see the both of you," Hermione said warmly. I smiled and wrapped the both of them in a hug.
"Good to see the both of you too. I sincerely hope Fred and George have been staying out of trouble," I said, making Hermione and Ron look at me knowingly. "You know that was a rhetorical statement. Those two can't stay out of trouble to save their lives."
"And you would be right. But where'd you two go for the last few weeks?" Hermione asked us.
"Tokyo. Loved it," Harry said. I nudged him playfully.
"You mean loved the strippers," I said smiling. Harry smiled before nudging me back.
"That too. The age consent is 13 there, so I was actually able to go to a strip club there," Harry said with a wide smile. Hermione looked aghast while Ron looked confused.
"What's a strip club?" he asked. My eyes widened. Are you serious?
"There aren't strip clubs in the wizarding world?" I asked in disbelief.
"No. What are they?" Ron asked.
"It's basically a place where women are paid to dance half naked for you," Harry summarized. Ron's eyes widened.
"No way," he said in a subdued voice.
"Yup. I just showed him the live version of what he's going to see on porn sites," I said, making Harry go red. "Still not as red as you were when I took you there. Since he's on my budget, I made him go ask and pay for his own lap dance. Call me a terrible parent, but I couldn't be more proud."
"I hated you and loved you at the same time when I found out you took me there," Harry admitted. I patted him on the shoulder.
"Loved me because of the boobs you saw, and hated me because of the painful erection you had I'm guessing," I said grinning. (I'm treading on thin ice with this T rating. lol)
"Damn you," Harry said. Hermione shook her head.
"You are perhaps the most responsively irresponsible parent ever," Hermione told me. I bowed at her.
"Why thank you. Plus he'll likely be seeing a pair of his own up close in about... 10 years at the most, 4 at the least. Somewhere around there. As long as you protect yourself and the girl, then I couldn't give a damn if you have sex or not. Why? Cause it could definitely be a lot worse," I explained.
"Oh Merlin... my parents would hate your parenting style," Hermione said.
"Mine would too," Ron said.
"I don't care really. Most children aren't really as mature as my son, so that's why I'm giving him certain liberties. And I have a right to raise my child however I please. The next best thing would've been to get him on a porn site and set a box of tissues next to him," I teased, making Harry go even redder.
"Can we please get off this subject before someone finds out what we're talking about?" Hermione asked, going pink.
"All you had to do was ask. Anything new with either of you?" I asked.
"Have you heard about the Galleon Draw we won?" Ron asked excitedly.
"I heard. You all deserve it. What'd you do with the money?" I asked him.
"We mostly spent it on the trip to Egypt, but they also bought me a new wand. Look at this," Ron said, digging his wand out of his pocket and showing it to us. "Fourteen inches, willow, containing one unicorn tail hair. And we've got all our books -" He pointed at a large bag under his chair. "What about those Monster Books, eh? The assistant nearly cried when we said we wanted two."
"I dunno. Dad had our books delivered in two separate package, but we haven't opened the- why are you looking at me like that?" Harry questioned at the looks of surprise on Ron and Hermione's faces.
"Did you call him dad?" Ron asked. I put an arm around his shoulder while smiling.
"In everything but blood. We're that close," Harry told them. "He's not my original dad, but he's a damn good surrogate. He's not overprotective, nor is he careless. He keeps it real with me, and treats me like an adult. But he never let me goes over the line."
"And he's everything I could wish for in a son. He's polite, hardworking, and selfless. Not to mention brave. He's like me with different looks. I've molded him into a fighter, but he's still a child. And if what Snape said about Voldemort is true..." I trailed off, making Ron flinch as soon as I said Voldemort's name. Me and Harry looked at him with an irritated look.
"Hitler killed over six million Jews in his regime, and they aren't afraid to say his name. What's your excuse?" I asked him.
"That's some dark history. But we grew up hearing how terrible he was made us all fear him," Ron explained.
"Fear him, you can do. Fear of saying his name? That's just being ridiculous," I told him.
"Is there anyone you actually fear?" Ron asked.
"No. There are plenty of things I fear, but a person is not one of them. Because no one instills fear in me," I explained.
"That's cause you grew up with nothing to fear," Ron said.
"I grew up with the idea of terrorists, serial killers, and psychopaths who all kill for fun and excitement. It's hard to get much more scarier than that," I told him. Then I noticed the size of Hermione's bags. Note the plural in that. I knew for a fact that third years didn't have THAT many classes.
"Hermione... what is up with your bags?" I questioned. Harry and Ron eyed Hermione's bags as well and their eyes widened at the bulging size and number of them.
"Well, I'm taking more new subjects than you, aren't I?" Hermione said. "Those are my books for Arithmancy, Care of Magical Creatures, Divination, the study of Ancient Runes, Muggle Studies -"
"What are you doing Muggle Studies for?" Ron said, rolling his eyes at me and Harry. "You're Muggle-born! Your mum and dad are Muggles! You already know all about Muggles!"
"But it'll be fascinating to study them from the wizarding point of view," Hermione said earnestly. I face palmed.
"Good God. There's not point in taking a subject you don't need. That just wastes time. Do yourself the favor and drop them. Otherwise, you're gonna pass out from exhaustion at that rate," I told her.
"Come on, Hermione. It's pointless learning Muggle Studies when you already know just about everything about the Muggle world. Plus, judging by how most people don't know just about anything Muggle related, you can bet your bottom dollar that the person teaching it doesn't know much more," Harry said rationally. Hermione bit her bottom lip as she pondered our words.
"Fine. I'll drop the class," Hermione said. I have never seen someone so sad with a decision like that.
"Thank you. That's more sensible. Now you have more time left over," I assured her. Hermione then pulled out her purse.
"Looks like I've still got ten Galleons. It's my birthday in September, and Mum and Dad gave me some money to get myself an early birthday present," she said.
"How about a nice book?" Ron suggested innocently. I spared him a withering glance before turning back to Hermione.
"No, I don't think so," Hermione said composedly. "I really want an owl. I mean, Harry's got Hedwig and you've got Errol -"
"I haven't," Ron said. "Errol's a family owl. All I've got is Scabbers." He pulled his pet rat out of his pocket. "And I want to get him checked over," he added, placing Scabbers on the table in front of them. "I don't think Egypt agreed with him."
Scabbers was looking thinner than usual, and there was a definite droop to his whiskers.
"Looks more like he's depressed. Maybe it's the psychology of living in captivity?" I suggested.
"He's been in my family for twelve years. He was lazy, but he wasn't depressed. What changed?" Ron asked. Then I found something strange.
"Twelve years? Most rats in captivity only live for four years at average. Maybe age is actually catching up to him and he's barely alive," I also suggested. Ron looked a little scared at the thought. "Take him to the magical creature shop over there." I pointed to a shop in the distance. "You can see if there's anything you can do for Scabbers, and Hermione can get her owl at the same time."
I then paid for their ice cream since I knocked it out of their hands and we walked to the magical creature shop.
There wasn't much room inside. Every inch of wall was hidden by cages. It was smelly and very noisy because the occupants of these cages were all squeaking, squawking, jabbering, or hissing. The witch behind the counter was already advising a wizard on the care of double-ended newts, so the four of us waited and started examining the cages. What I saw interested me.
A pair of enormous purple toads sat gulping wetly and feasting on dead blowflies. A gigantic tortoise with a jewel-encrusted shell was glittering near the window. Snails of a poisonous orange were oozing slowly up the side of their glass tank, and a fat white rabbit kept changing into a silk top hat and back again with a loud popping noise. Then there were cats of every color, a noisy cage of ravens, a basket of funny custard-colored furballs that were humming loudly, and on the counter, a vast cage of sleek black rats that were playing some sort of skipping game using their long, bald tails. These all looked like science experiments that had gone terrible right.
The double-ended newt wizard left, and Ron approached the counter.
"It's my rat," he told the witch. "He been a bit off-color ever since I brought him back from Egypt."
"Bang him on the counter," the witch said, pulling a pair of heavy black spectacles out of her pocket.
Ron lifted Scabbers out of his inside pocket and placed him next to the cage of his fellow rats, who stopped their skipping tricks and scuffled to the wire for a better took. He looked especially worn and raggedy when you compared him to the glossy rats in the other cages.
"Hmm," the witch said, picking up Scabbers. "How old is this rat?"
"Dunno," Ron said. "Quite old. He used to belong to my brother."
"What powers does he have?" the witch said, examining Scabbers closely.
"Er -" The truth was that Scabbers had never shown the faintest trace of interesting powers. The only thing he seemed capable of was being fat and lazy. The witch's eyes moved from Scabbers' tattered left ear to his front paw, which had a toe missing, and tutted loudly.
"He's been through the mill, this one," she said.
"He was like that when Percy gave him to me," Ron said defensively.
"An ordinary common or garden rat like this can't be expected to live longer than four years or so," the witch said. "Now, if you were looking for something a bit more hard-wearing, you might like one of these -"
She indicated the black rats, who promptly started skipping again. Ron muttered, "Show-offs."
"Well, if you don't want a replacement, you can try this rat tonic," the witch said, reaching under the counter and bringing out a small red bottle.
"Okay," said Ron. "How much - OUCH!"
Ron buckled as something huge and orange came soaring from the top of the highest cage, landed on his head, and then propelled itself, spitting madly, at Scabbers. This was the biggest cat I have ever seen in my life.
"NO, CROOKSHANKS, NO!" the witch cried, but Scabbers, shot from between her hands like a bar of soap, landed splay-legged on the floor, and then scampered for the door. I chased after Crookshanks and scooped him up, who attempted to scratch me. Instead of punching the cat like I was tempted to do, I gently scratched the cat behind its ears and that calmed it down enough to stop trying to scratch me. Then it began to purr in satisfaction.
It took the others 10 minutes to get Scabbers while I kept the cat calm. I gave him back to the witch at the desk before walking out with Ron and Harry. Hermione stayed so she could get her owl. Ron stuffed the trembling rat back into his pocket and straightened up, massaging his head.
"What was that?" Ron asked, massaging his scalp.
"It was either a very big cat or quite a small tiger," Harry said.
We then made our way back up the crowded street to the Magical Menagerie. As we reached it, Hermione came out, but she wasn't carrying an owl. Her arms were clamped tightly around the enormous ginger cat that nearly scalped Ron.
"You bought that monster?" Ron said, his mouth hanging open.
"He's gorgeous, isn't he?" Hermione said, glowing.
"That is definitely a matter of perspective," I told her.
The cat's ginger fur was thick and fluffy, but it was definitely a bit bowlegged and its face looked grumpy and oddly squashed, as though it had run headlong into a brick wall.
"Hermione, that thing nearly scalped me!" Ron said..
"He didn't mean to, did you, Crookshanks?" Hermione said.
"And what about Scabbers?" Ron said, pointing at the lump in his chest pocket. "He needs rest and relaxation! How's he going to get it with that thing around?"
"He's got a point Hermione. Nothing ever comes good from having a cat and a rat in the same place at the same time," I told her. But she disregarded what I said.
"That reminds me, you forgot your rat tonic," Hermione said, slapping the small red bottle into Ron's hand. "And stop worrying. Crookshanks will be sleeping in my dormitory and Scabbers in yours, so what's the problem? Poor Crookshanks, that witch said he'd been in there for ages. No one wanted him."
"Wonder why," Ron said sarcastically as we set off toward the Leaky Cauldron. We found Mr. Weasley sitting in the bar, reading the Daily prophet.
"Harry! Robert!" he said, smiling as he looked up. "How are you?"
"Good," the two of us said at the same time. Then we turned our heads sideways at the picture of Sirius Black on his newspaper.
"They still haven't caught him?" I asked.
"No," Mr. Weasley said, looking extremely grave. "They've pulled us all off our regular jobs at the Ministry to try and find him, but no luck so far."
"Would we get a reward if we caught him?" Ron asked. "It'd be good to get some more money -" I immediately rounded on him.
"Don't be stupid Ron. Black's a stone cold murderer. He would have no problem killing a thirteen year old," I told him sternly. He raised his hands in surrender.
"Mark my words, it's the Azkaban guards that'll catch him," Mr. Weasley said. I grimaced at the mention of Dementors, but I didn't comment.
At that moment Mrs. Weasley entered the bar, laden with shopping bags and followed by the twins, Fred and George, who were about to start their fifth year at Hogwarts. Percy and the Weasleys' youngest child and only girl, Ginny.
"Hello to all of you," I said politely.
"Hello dears. I heard from Ron you went on vacation. Where at?" Mrs. Weasley asked me.
"Tokyo, Japan. Loved it. Loved the Japanese strippers even more," I said smiling. I got nothing but blank looks at my wording. "Never mind."
"Yeah, and maybe it's best for you not to know," Hermione said. Mrs. Weasley decided for another change of subject before her kids could comment further on the subject she could assume was inappropriate.
"Anyway, I suppose you two have heard the news?" she asked us.
"The Galleon Draw? Of course we did. That was in the papers," I said.
"Not that," Mrs. Weasley said, gesturing to Percy's Head Boy badge while beaming. "Second Head Boy in the family!"
"And last," Fred muttered under his breath. I couldn't help but agree. It didn't seem likely Ron would make a prefect if he continued down the same road he was heading now. Ginny might have a chance though. Wait, Hermione would still be in school. Never mind.
"I don't doubt that," Mrs. Weasley said, frowning suddenly. "I notice they haven't made you two prefects." Before they could even speak, I interjected.
"One of these two prefects? That's a terrible idea if I ever heard one," I said. Fred and George simply smiled at my words. Mrs. Weasley chose not to comment at my statement.
"Well, dinner is nearly here. I would suggest you all go up to change," Mrs. Weasley said.
"I'm fine with what I'm wearing," I said, rolling up the sleeves of my trench coat. Mrs. Weasley simply sighed as she knew there was no change my mind and gestured for the rest of them to head up the stairs.
Dinner was pretty good that night. Tom the innkeeper put three tables together in the parlor, and all of us ate our way through five courses.
"How are we getting to King's Cross tomorrow, dad?" Fred asked.
"If you want, I can get my driver here. I've got a big stretch limo, so there's enough room for all of us," I suggested. Mr. Weasley smiled the idea. Likely not the limo itself, but the fact that'll he'll actually get to see one beyond pictures.
"Tempting, but no. The Ministry's providing a couple of cars," Mr. Weasley said. We all looked at him. That was not common at all.
"Why?" Percy said curiously.
"It's because of you, Perce," George said seriously. "And there'll be little flags on the hoods, with HB on them"
"- for Humongous Bighead," Fred said.
I snorted with laughter along with most of the table at this statement. Couldn't really argue with that statement.
"Why are the Ministry providing cars, Father?" Percy asked in a dignified voice.
"Don't know really. They seemed to insist that they take us," Mr. Weasley said, his ears going red. My lips thinned. I knew something was up, and he didn't seem to want to tell us.
"Good thing too," Mrs. Weasley said briskly. "Do you realize how much luggage you've all got between you? A nice sight you'd be on the Muggle Underground... You are all packed, aren't you?"
"Ron hasn't put all his new things in his trunk yet," Percy said in a long-suffering voice. "He's dumped them on my bed."
"You'd better go and pack properly, Ron, because we won't have much time in the morning," Mrs. Weasley called down the table. Ron scowled at Percy.
"I wouldn't want your stuff on my bed either," I said. Ron frowned even more before heading up the stairs to his room.
After dinner, we were all full and sleepy. Me and Harry shared a room right next to Percy and Ron.
"Not bad for a first day back. Though Japan had way better hotels," Harry said sleepily. I yawned before answering.
"T-that's because they were five star hotels. I'd be surprised if this place was better," I said.
"Good point. Then again..." The rest of his sentence was cut off by the sound of angry voice coming from number twelve, and Percy was shouting.
"It was here, on the bedside table, I took it off for polishing..."
"I haven't touched it, all right?" Ron roared back. We walked inside their room and I spoke in an impatient tone.
"What the hell are you two yelling about? People on this floor might be sleeping!" I hissed impatiently.
"My Head Boy badge is gone," said Percy, rounding on me. I frowned.
"I know one thing. You better back the hell out of my face before I punch your glasses in half. Stop acting like I'm the one who took your worthless badge," I snapped at him. He eased up and I straightened my shirt before speaking.
"Now... just how is your badge lost? You're a wizard. There's a summoning charm made for a reason," I told him. Percy seemed subdued at my suggestion, like he's upset he didn't think of that in the first place.
"Accio," Percy said evenly. His badge came flying through the door. But someone definitely had it. It had BigHead Boy on it now.
I shook my head. It didn't take a genius to figure out who did that. But I put a hand over Percy's mouth before he started yelling again.
"There are still people on this floor. That did not change," I told him. "Yell at them tomorrow. Go to bed."
"Hey, I don't see Scabbers' rat tonic in here. Can you do me a favor and see if I left it downstairs?"
"Yeah, I got it. Dad, you relax," Harry told me. I smiled. That sounded nice. Dad. I walked back into my room and went to sleep.
A/N: Hope you all liked da first chapter. And I don't know why Percy would tear their room apart when summoning charms exist. Just putting that out there. Anyway, hope you come back for more. P.S: The age of legality in Japan is actually 13, which was convenient for the stripper idea.