Disclaimer: The characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer are the property of Mutant Enemy & Joss Whedon.

Ruminations of the Xan-Man

By EMI

"So what do you do when you're two best friends are a Vampire Slayer and a Witch?"

Well in my case you get a job working construction. Yep, that's my claim to folks. I am construction guy, Mr Fixit, The man with a saw or occasionally a rock; and sometime saviour of the world.

"Hey don't be mocking the yellow crayon guy's".

Now I'm sure your all wondering why? Why do I hang around with the Buff and Will; continually putting my life and not to mention my ass on the line, and routinely being used as the Universe's personal butt-monkey.

Well it's simple really, they need me. They don't always realise it, but they do. They need me to listen when all the supernatural and sometimes not-so supernatural shit gets them down.

"Oh and I occasionally fetch doughnut's, after all Ho-Hos and sugary goodness are a vital part of my cognitive process!"

But mostly they need me to hug them, to give them that connection to the human world. To keep them grounded in reality.

"That's if you can call living on the Hellmouth reality"

Anyway, they need me to be their lifeline as it were, because otherwise they'd loose themselves completely to the darkness that dancing with the supernatural bring.

Of course that's not to say I'm actually any good at the job of 'best friend & humanity grounder', because sometimes I'm not. Sometimes I let personal feelings get in the way. Take Angel for example...

"Yeah take him away, chain him to a wall and have a little fun with a blowpipe and a bunch of wooden toothpicks".

As you can probably guess, I am not a fan of Mr Tall Dark and Fangy. And on more than one occasion I have urged Buffy to stake him. I've even offered to hold him down while she did it. And don't even get me started on the 'Spike thing'. I still can't get the smell of peroxide out of the house, no matter how many times I crack a window.

"I seriously do not want to consider how much that Sid Vicious, Billy Idol wannabe has cost me in Glade and those little green tree air fresheners."

Anyway like I said, they need me. And me, well I need them in my life; it's as simple as that.

I need Buffy to teach me not to be afraid of the evil that lurks in the dark; and Willow I need simply because she's Willow. The little red-headed cyber-geek who stood beside me when I stubbed my toe; who helped me up when Cordelia first pushed me down into the mud. And who patiently fought beside me for five long years, as I struggled with the deadliest evil of them all… algebra.

I need these two women in my life, because they are my life. Because they're, my family, and I'm theirs. And that will never change, no matter how many apocalypses they avert or how many window's I have to fix.

"And occasionally I get to save the world before dinner."

-end-