Hello, hoping to attract your (My readers) attention, I have made this
silly little fic. And if anybody that reads some of my other stories reads
this, I have to let you know something: Lately, with selected stories I
have updated they don't appear on the list. Don't ask me why, I'm hoping
it's a technical error and will pass shortly. But, if anybody wants to
read, "The purple rose" or, "Things we keep inside". You'll have to check
my profile, I made some pretty big updates on those two stories.
On with the fic!
Disclaimer: I don't own any writes to this game, or the characters in it.
One fine day, Tidus was walking along the path in Besaid forest. He was whistling happily when he noticed Wakka come up behind him. He waved his arm, greeting his friend joyously, but for some reason he ignored him, and began to walk away. Tidus then tried yelling, "Hey Wakka! Come back!" He said excitedly.
Wakka turned around and shrugged, "I can't talk now…I uh…have to do something…bye, ya?!" he said, and scurried off in the opposite direction of Tidus.
"What? Why do you have to go?" Tidus asked, but it was too late, Wakka had vanished off into the woods.
Tidus was confused, why did his friend leave without an explanation. Tidus shrugged, "I guess he just needs to be alone…I know how he feels, I'll talk to him later."
Tidus was quick to forget about the short-lived visit from his friend. He started singing, and dancing as he walked through the woods. Then, all of a sudden, he slipped on something; sending him onto his ass. He growled, "Arghh! Who the fuck put this here?!" he said to himself as he sat there. A pig pile of shit was lying on the ground; Tidus got on his feet and inspected it. He studied the texture and size, then it hit him, "This isn't shit, it's a dead animal!" he exclaimed. He took a stick from the ground and poked it, "Yep, this is definitely fresh. I should bring it back as a gift for Yuna!" he said to himself excitedly.
He picked the little animal up by the tail, and slung it over his shoulder.
Half way through the woods, he noticed Rikku, with an unlikely match. Auron. At first, he was pretty confused at seeing them together, but after a minute or two of seeing them kiss, and playfully shove each other; he came to one conclusion, "They're into each other, their going to have a baby one day!" Tidus exclaimed. His discovery made them both jump at the sudden explosive energy that he'd just displayed. They quickly separated themselves from each other, and said at the same time, "Tidus, what the hell are you doing over here?"
He shrugged, "I dunno, I'm just bringing this dead animal back to the village as a gift for Yuna." He told them.
They both walked up to him to inspect the dead animal, they looked at him like he was an idiot. Auron said, "Do you seriously think that this is an appropriate gift for a lady?" he asked as he eyed it suspiciously.
"Yeah," Rikku added, "I wouldn't want a dead animal. What gave you the idea that Yuna would want one?"
Tidus sighed longingly, "My dad…he always gave my mother dead animals for her birthday…." He said reminiscently.
"You mean 'Fur coats'." Auron corrected.
Tidus looked annoyed, "No! He brought her back road kill from the streets!" he exclaimed. "You think I'm the only guy that does this for his special lady?!" Tidus added.
Rikku sighed, "You know what I think? I think that you and your pappa are both loony if ya think any woman wants road kill for her birthday."
"Well that's just not true! Look at this…who couldn't see this as beautiful?" he said, gesturing to the animal's body, showing them the open cut someone had made in it's abdomen, and how the fur looked exquisite around his shoulders. They both looked at him with disgust. Tidus twirled around with it on his shoulders, smiling and waving, you know, acting model like. Auron puked up his breakfast, Rikku caught it before it hit the ground with her mouth, eating it down like a good girl. (I don't hate Rikku, she's just fun to diss.)
This time it was Tidus' turn to look disgusted, "Eww…How can you do something so nasty?!" he asked, holding his hands over his mouth to prevent himself from vomiting.
Rikku ignored him, and Auron pulled her into a big kiss! No joke, they were going at it like crazy. After sharing each other's saliva, they wiped their mouths clean and had a good old time seeing the look on Tidus' face. When Auron put his hand on her ass, Tidus began to run like the wind, as fast as he could to get the hell away from them.
In his daring escape, Tidus found himself trapped by a big…blue…animal! No, it was just Kimahri. Kimahri smiled just like the first time he did in the Mihen highroads. Tidus tried to smile back and be polite, but the foul stench of Kimahri's ass was making it a hard task for him. Tidus heard an almost impossible sound to hear, swoosh! He covered his nose and started to gag on the fumes that were being transmitted in his direction.
Kimahri smiled and said, "Guess Kimahri had too many beans this morning."
"Uhh….oh, it's killing my brain cells!" Tidus exclaimed.
Kimahri frowned, "In Kimahri home land, passing gas mean you like someone. Kimahri like you, don't you see? Kimahri wants you be his bitch." He told Tidus with a sexy grin on his face.
Tidus backed away, "No, no! Get away from me!" he screamed in horror.
"What matter with you? Kimahri is very gentle lover. Is it first time for you?" he asked, a touch of concern showing in his growl like voice.
"Uh…Yeah. I don't like you that way Kimahri!" he shouted.
"Kimahri like you so much, it make up for your lack of love for him."
"Ahhh! I'm out of here!" Tidus ran away as fast as he could, leaving Kimahri in the dust.
"Wait! Come back, Kimahri promise he be gentle on you!" he yelled after him.
Tidus had quit short of breath at the dock, what he saw there was just plain scary. A Besaid fisherman was licking one of his fish, in a way that was unacceptable. He ran his tongue along the bass' dead fish body, caressing it lovingly. Tidus turned his head and vomited.
OMFG! Tell me how crazy and stupid that was. I was feeling spontaneous, sorry if this story made you feel sick in any way. But, if it made you feel sick in a good way then review please!
On with the fic!
Disclaimer: I don't own any writes to this game, or the characters in it.
One fine day, Tidus was walking along the path in Besaid forest. He was whistling happily when he noticed Wakka come up behind him. He waved his arm, greeting his friend joyously, but for some reason he ignored him, and began to walk away. Tidus then tried yelling, "Hey Wakka! Come back!" He said excitedly.
Wakka turned around and shrugged, "I can't talk now…I uh…have to do something…bye, ya?!" he said, and scurried off in the opposite direction of Tidus.
"What? Why do you have to go?" Tidus asked, but it was too late, Wakka had vanished off into the woods.
Tidus was confused, why did his friend leave without an explanation. Tidus shrugged, "I guess he just needs to be alone…I know how he feels, I'll talk to him later."
Tidus was quick to forget about the short-lived visit from his friend. He started singing, and dancing as he walked through the woods. Then, all of a sudden, he slipped on something; sending him onto his ass. He growled, "Arghh! Who the fuck put this here?!" he said to himself as he sat there. A pig pile of shit was lying on the ground; Tidus got on his feet and inspected it. He studied the texture and size, then it hit him, "This isn't shit, it's a dead animal!" he exclaimed. He took a stick from the ground and poked it, "Yep, this is definitely fresh. I should bring it back as a gift for Yuna!" he said to himself excitedly.
He picked the little animal up by the tail, and slung it over his shoulder.
Half way through the woods, he noticed Rikku, with an unlikely match. Auron. At first, he was pretty confused at seeing them together, but after a minute or two of seeing them kiss, and playfully shove each other; he came to one conclusion, "They're into each other, their going to have a baby one day!" Tidus exclaimed. His discovery made them both jump at the sudden explosive energy that he'd just displayed. They quickly separated themselves from each other, and said at the same time, "Tidus, what the hell are you doing over here?"
He shrugged, "I dunno, I'm just bringing this dead animal back to the village as a gift for Yuna." He told them.
They both walked up to him to inspect the dead animal, they looked at him like he was an idiot. Auron said, "Do you seriously think that this is an appropriate gift for a lady?" he asked as he eyed it suspiciously.
"Yeah," Rikku added, "I wouldn't want a dead animal. What gave you the idea that Yuna would want one?"
Tidus sighed longingly, "My dad…he always gave my mother dead animals for her birthday…." He said reminiscently.
"You mean 'Fur coats'." Auron corrected.
Tidus looked annoyed, "No! He brought her back road kill from the streets!" he exclaimed. "You think I'm the only guy that does this for his special lady?!" Tidus added.
Rikku sighed, "You know what I think? I think that you and your pappa are both loony if ya think any woman wants road kill for her birthday."
"Well that's just not true! Look at this…who couldn't see this as beautiful?" he said, gesturing to the animal's body, showing them the open cut someone had made in it's abdomen, and how the fur looked exquisite around his shoulders. They both looked at him with disgust. Tidus twirled around with it on his shoulders, smiling and waving, you know, acting model like. Auron puked up his breakfast, Rikku caught it before it hit the ground with her mouth, eating it down like a good girl. (I don't hate Rikku, she's just fun to diss.)
This time it was Tidus' turn to look disgusted, "Eww…How can you do something so nasty?!" he asked, holding his hands over his mouth to prevent himself from vomiting.
Rikku ignored him, and Auron pulled her into a big kiss! No joke, they were going at it like crazy. After sharing each other's saliva, they wiped their mouths clean and had a good old time seeing the look on Tidus' face. When Auron put his hand on her ass, Tidus began to run like the wind, as fast as he could to get the hell away from them.
In his daring escape, Tidus found himself trapped by a big…blue…animal! No, it was just Kimahri. Kimahri smiled just like the first time he did in the Mihen highroads. Tidus tried to smile back and be polite, but the foul stench of Kimahri's ass was making it a hard task for him. Tidus heard an almost impossible sound to hear, swoosh! He covered his nose and started to gag on the fumes that were being transmitted in his direction.
Kimahri smiled and said, "Guess Kimahri had too many beans this morning."
"Uhh….oh, it's killing my brain cells!" Tidus exclaimed.
Kimahri frowned, "In Kimahri home land, passing gas mean you like someone. Kimahri like you, don't you see? Kimahri wants you be his bitch." He told Tidus with a sexy grin on his face.
Tidus backed away, "No, no! Get away from me!" he screamed in horror.
"What matter with you? Kimahri is very gentle lover. Is it first time for you?" he asked, a touch of concern showing in his growl like voice.
"Uh…Yeah. I don't like you that way Kimahri!" he shouted.
"Kimahri like you so much, it make up for your lack of love for him."
"Ahhh! I'm out of here!" Tidus ran away as fast as he could, leaving Kimahri in the dust.
"Wait! Come back, Kimahri promise he be gentle on you!" he yelled after him.
Tidus had quit short of breath at the dock, what he saw there was just plain scary. A Besaid fisherman was licking one of his fish, in a way that was unacceptable. He ran his tongue along the bass' dead fish body, caressing it lovingly. Tidus turned his head and vomited.
OMFG! Tell me how crazy and stupid that was. I was feeling spontaneous, sorry if this story made you feel sick in any way. But, if it made you feel sick in a good way then review please!