Izaya had always prided himself on his composure. Even when things got to him, he would hide it behind his fake smile and harsh words. But every once in a while, even the great Orihara Izaya needed to cry.
He was sitting on the roof of his office building, legs dangling over the edge, watching as his tear drops caught in the sunlight, falling to his lap. He swung his feet, knocking his heels against the building as his silent tears turned to sobs, wracking his thin shoulders. Suddenly he felt an arm around him, another presence joining him on the roof.
Izaya immediately jumped back, seeing a familiar face lined with blonde hair. "Shizu-chan?" Izaya wiped his arm across his face, as if erasing what had obviously already been witnessed by the monster. Shizuo looked at him, his expression sad.
"It's ok," Shizuo said, arm still around Izaya. "I know you never mean what you say. You shouldn't be holding it all back like this."
"What—what are you talking about?" Izaya stammered, adding "Monster!" for good measure. "How did you find me? Why are you here?"
Shizuo sighed. "Well, I originally came to play our usual game, but…I guess there's no hiding it anymore. I already know how you really feel. About most things, and about me. I feel the same."
Izaya leapt to his feet, laughing down at Shizuo. "I don't know what you're talking about, monster. How could you know anything about feelings? Monsters don't feel things. What even are feelings? I wouldn't know—I'm Orihara Izaya! I don't have feelings!" Izaya realized he was rambling when Shizuo's expression got even sadder. "I mean…" Izaya sighed and stopped talking.
Shizuo stood up, looking into Izaya's eyes. "I already said it's ok. I hate to be the first to say it, but…I care about you, Izaya. Please don't keep hurting yourself like this. Let me help." Izaya stared at him disbelievingly as Shizuo held out his arms. Why is he…being kind to me? Why would anyone ever…be kind to me?
Without even realizing what he was doing, Izaya fell forward into Shizuo's arms, feeling the comforting embrace. A strange warmth started in Izaya's heart and spread throughout his whole body. What…is this? He didn't know why he was crying anymore; his eyes stung and the tears washed down his cheeks.
Soon Izaya was sobbing into the shoulder of the man he had always claimed to hate, the man he had always been the cruelest to, pushed away so many times and hurt to so many extremities. "Why?" Izaya whispered, clutching Shizuo like a lifeline as the blonde's hand held the back of Izaya's head, cuddling him like a scared child.
"I already said, Izaya. I care about you. I care enough to help you, to be with you now when you've pushed everyone away. I will always be here, Izaya." Shizuo's head was heavy on top of Izaya's and Izaya snuggled closer to him as the sobs took control of his body, unable to breathe. "I never really hated you, Izaya. And I know you never really hated me."
Izaya buried his face in Shizuo's chest. What have I done? I've hurt so many people…I still don't understand…how could anyone forgive me, let alone the person I've hurt most of all? He says…he cares? No one cares for Orihara Izaya.
The breeze was picking up, getting chillier as the sun went down. Shizuo looked down at the crying man in his arms, the man he had worried about for so long. Why did I come here? Shizuo asked himself. Was it to save him? Or to save myself? Did I not trust myself to live without him? To keep on living this stupid lie, playing this stupid game of hate with him for the rest of my life? Shizuo gripped the man he loved tightly.
"You better say it back when I say it to you, Izaya," Shizuo murmured. Izaya sniffed and his sobs quieted, looking up at Shizuo with red eyes and tear-streaked cheeks. "I love you."
Izaya was still for a moment, the words fighting their way through the wall he had created in his mine, the wall between reality and their charade. This isn't part of the plan, Izaya thought dimly to himself, but could feel his resolve slipping away. Our game…does it have no meaning now? Am I really about to give in so easily?
Izaya looked into Shizuo's eyes, the sunlight reflecting off them with a beautiful gold sheen. His face looked flawless in this light. What am I doing? Izaya asked himself as he opened his mouth almost against his own will.
"I…" he stammered. "l-love…" Stop! Don't say it! You'll ruin it all! Izaya struggled against his own thoughts, pushing them away. No. I'm sick of living through games and lies. He took a deep breath, his next words shaky but confident.
"I love you…Shizu-chan."