Author's Note= So this is... something... some sort of one-shot. o.o
^^" Enjoy.
Matt's POV
Is it the way I feel? Or was it the way I fell? Not in love, but out of reality. Out of touch. Out of my mind.
The way everything seemed to fall away at first, turning to ash if I tried to reach out. Then it just began to crumble, if I reached out it would blow away but if I didn't move, my body turned to stone.
So which was worse? My world falling apart or my mind building walls so high I couldn't even see myself?
But I couldn't decide. I wanted to keep open, and I wanted to maintain my peace. So my world melted to dust, but my emotions went with it. Or at least I wished they had.
But they stuck with me, taunting me at every chance they could.
You couldn't keep him. You couldn't feel the way you should have for him. You never deserved him. You hurt him; the only one who ever cared about you, the only one who ever would. He's hurt and it's your entire fault.
But I fought back, then he should have been smart enough to stay away! To know that this would happen. To know me.
To know himself, to know that he couldn't live with me.
Of course, he realized it in the end. He stood back and watched the steel gray sand blow away slowly; a knowing smile on his face. It just said "Now you know how it feels; now you'll get what you deserve."
I locked eyes with him one last time and my body turned to stone. He didn't move though.
Taunting me, I could almost hear his voice "If you need help, Matty, just ask for it." In a malicious tone that spoke louder than his words.
His smile though, seems to have blown away with the sand that was my world. And I watch in horror as he begins to fade into gray.
I tried to scream, to move, to beg him to stay with me, to tell him that even if I was to be stone for the rest of my life, all I needed was to be able to see his face.
Then he blew away into charred ashes, and I was released long enough to fall to my knees.
Mello, he was gone, just as my world. I should have taken the stone, I wouldn't mind being stone, so long as I could just watch him.
I tried to weep, but no tears came, and I was almost happy. But then I realized, he was gone, but I wasn't stone.
The decision had been made for me.
I looked around for the blonde, but I saw nothing but sand. All that was left of him was a pile of ashes.
I slowly crawled over to it, and then the tears came as the only thing that was left was his rosary.
My tears came hard as I cried for all the things that had been blown away, for Mello. For myself.
There was a voice in the back of my head, it whispered; it told me that it would be better now, without Medusa staring me down. All I'd needed to do was to let the wind wash away my Medusa, my Mello. The one who could turn me to stone.
But in this nightmare, I would take being stone and being with Mello to having him fall to ash. Because he was my world, and when he left like the tornado he was, nothing was left of my world.
He made sure of that.
In this nightmare, I fell. To my knees, I fell. Into my own world, I fell. Into my own hell, I fell. Into his arms, I fell.
Then I fell. To the ground, I fell. Out of my sanity, I fell. Out of reality, I fell. Deeper into his gaze, I fell.
The way I felt, I fell. My mind dropped like stone, slow and heavy but solid. Whereas my body floated, light and fast but invisible. I longed for his gaze, the one that could free my mind, by grounding my body.
I longed for him. For him, I fell. Into love? Or out of myself?