I tried to lead them as best as I could. To lead them like a fearless leader. But I couldn't. Or at least, not as good as I should. I should live like the past didn't happen, that it was some terrible dream and that I was always a superhero. But no matter what, I always think back to that terrible night. The night my life changed forever. My friends try to get me to talk, to let them help me. But I don't let them. Weakness wasn't allowed. It's be strong or die. There's no in between.
They think I'm cold, and try to work to hard. I see how they look at me when I tell them there's extra training. They try to hide their looks, but I still see them. I don't try to be mean. I just want them to be strong. I know we all have things we want to forget, things we wished we could've changed. I see it sometimes, in their faces. But we need to be strong. No matter how much the past hurts.
I think about it though. No matter how hard I try the memories come. Sometimes just for a few seconds, other times they flood my mind. Raven saw them once, when I was weak. When I thought Slade had come back. She doesn't talk about them, and I thank her for that. But sometimes I wish she would tell them, so that they would understand. So that they would know that I care about them. That I don't try to be cold, or heartless, or all the other things they think about me. I just wish they would understand.
My mind was flooded with the memories. I couldn't get them to go away. They kept coming, never ceasing. It was so strong, I couldn't fight it any longer. I fell onto my bedroom floor weeping. They wouldn't go away. And they never will.