"Normal"
'Thought'
"Demonic/Pissed/Shouting"
'Demonic/Pissed/Shouthing thought'
Jutsu
Karaoke
~Icha Icha: Conquest Sage Deodorant~
"Ahh Jiraiya-sama, thank you for taking the time to come all the way to Yugakure, to speak with us, despite your busy schedule." Stated a partially bowed man dressed in expensive business attire. The Sannin in question looked at the man with contempt, each second he spent here, was another second away from the beauties he'd been observing for the plot of his newest Icha Icha series, and the tone he spoke in made it all the clear to the bowed man.
"This had better be good; I was in the middle of gathering precious research for, possibly, my greatest series yet."
"Yes sir, I apologize for disrupting you, being an avid fan of your books myself, but there is something we believe you should be aware of." Clearing his throat the business man straighten himself taking a few breaths to calm himself. "You see Jiraiya-sama, not too long ago one of our agents came across a rather strange recipe of yours while searching for ingredients to create a new deodorant, do you remember a time when you created the recipe for the "Ultimate Love Potion."
A look of confusion spread across the Toad Sannin's face for a moment as he attempted to recall creating such a recipe, and soon enough flashes teenaged years ran through his mind, memories of the Ultimate Prank, as he liked to call it, came to mind, but why would this company call him all the way here for that, it's not like they tried to make it…
"Judging from your expression sir I'm guessing you remember?" The man questioned pausing only receive his confirmation. "Well you see sir our agent brought it to head quarters and at first we all assumed it was one of the many pranks you have been known for in the past, given the age of the paper, except for the president, whom hired shinobi to hunt down the rare and, difficult to locate, ingredients, under the claims that the man who created Kunai (ninja version of Axe) must have an eye for things like this.
Eventually we were able to gather the needed ingredients and create a suitable spray deodorant, which we named Sage Deodorant and on its initial test-"
"It didn't work correct?" The Sannin butted in annoyed that these people would bother him with something that was guaranteed to fail.
"Actually…"
Or not.
Surprised at Jiraiya's sudden change from disinterested annoyance to on the edge of his seat excitement the business man paused for a second before continuing on with his tail.
"After initial application of the deodorant we received no, desired effects as expected…however after five minutes the female, and some of the male volunteers began to act strange before jumping the test subject and, if not for the on hand security, probably scarred the test subject for life. After the incident we took additional tests, with the proper safety precautions for the subject and were able to find out that the effects last for a twenty-four hour period, only on those attracted to the sex it's applied on and that they hold no memory of their actions the next day."
By this point Jiraiya was practically drooling as thoughts of the benefits that such a deodorant would hold came to mind; and then…like a gift from Kami herself, the idea for his next and probably greatest book yet came to mind, giggling like a school girl that had just been kissed by her crush the toad sennin furiously scribbled down ideas in his notepad.
"YOU'VE GOT TO GIVE ME THAT DEODORANT!" Came the excited scream of the sannin as he shook the businessman as if he were a rag doll.
"But that's just it Jiraya-sama, we can't give it to you." The businessman stated despite being shaken when he was suddenly slammed into the chair with the freezing burn of cold steel pressed against his throat as he stared down a man that none whom face him in battle lived to tell the tale.
"You better have a good fucking reason, or you and your spine are going to have a face to face encounter real soon!" The white haired man threatened his tone and eyes icier than the kunai on his neck.
"Y-you s-s-see th-there w-w-was a f-f-fi-fire re-recent-t-tly that-t-t in-in-incener-r-rat-ted our e-e-entire s-s-stock a-and t-t-the r-recipe, t-t-that's w-w-why w-we c-c-c-c-c-con-contact-t-ted you, i-in h-ho-hop-pes y-y-you wou-wou-would h-h-have a-a-a s-s-spare c-c-copy o-f-f-f t-t-t-the re-re-recipe!" The man managed to stutter out, trying his damnedest not to piss himself on the spot.
Sighing in disappointment, the dreams of his newest book shattered before they could even take flight Jiraiya returned his kunai to its pouch, making his way towards the door when the businessman, whom miraculously regained his composure said something that almost made his heart burst with joy.
"We were able to send out two cans to some contest winners in Hi no Kuni before the fire broke out; if you were able to retrieve just one of them we'd be able to reverse engineer it to figure out the recipe."
Determination set in his eyes Jiraiya, the toad sennin, struck a nice guy pose announcing his intent to find whoever had won and bring the deodorant back in the name of Icha Icha Conquest and, faster than the Hiraishin, he was gone.
~Icha Icha: Conquest Sage Deodorant~
Meanwhile in Konohgakure no Sato a well known pair of shinobi were just waking to the pleasant singing of blue jay on the window seal, one with a wild mop of blond hair as bright as the sun, deep cerulean eyes, filled with passion and determination and trademark whisker-like birthmarks adoring his face, the other with locks a deeper shade of crimson than the healthiest of roses, emerald orbs portraying mischief and strength and his trademark slashes going down his right eye.
Yep the Uzumaki-Namikaze brothers Naruto and Nexus were just awakening to the day both having the same thought in mind.
'Why do I get the feeling today's gonna be really weird?'
~Icha Icha: Conquest Sage Deodorant~
Nexus972: And that's then end of chapter 1. Not a bad start to my new pwp if I do say so myself, though the idea isn't originally mine (came across a hentai comic that was doing this only difference is the deodorant is sponsored by Jiraiya) I thought it'd be fun to introduce to the fanfiction community. Now I know some of you are wondering "Is Art of Seduction Uzumaki Style ever going to be updated?" and to be completely honest I'm not really sure, I like the story and all, it just 'm not that motivated to keep writing it if anyone wants it they can take it I don't really care if I'm credited or not I just want to introduce (and hopefully one day finish) some fanfiction hope you like it, and hopefully I'll have chapter 2 up soon.