A/N: This is likely going to turn AU very quickly as the next two comics come out, but it's my Halloween oneshot I've been working on since late September. It's inspired by the movie Last Kind Words, and my own Smoke and Shadow Part I feels. That's all I'm saying.
Restitution
Can you hold me like someone you shouldn't have let go?
Can you keep me deep inside like the regrets that burnt a hole?
Can you love me like someone you loved long ago?
"Summer Fades" - The Smoke Fairies
Part I
The autumn leaves look like a bloody haze around the Royal Chateau.
Sixteen year old Kiyi chews on her lower lip as she stares at the cute country estate of the royal family she does not quite belong to, and waits awkwardly for someone to notice her arrival. She feels like she is trespassing, to be honest, and it is an uncomfortable sensation.
She glances around, past the leaves and the very beautiful courtyard fixtures, and looks out at what lies beyond across the mountainous landscape. Forest, so much forest, and boundless steep hills. The cold sets in after she waits two or three minutes, and her slender arms begin to shake beneath her poorly chosen clothes.
Her eyes rest at last on a hill that stands out among the scenery; there is a path leading up to it but it is buried in untamed wilderness.
"It's called Poison Hill," says the Fire Lady behind Kiyi and she jumps in surprise before quickly trying to cover up her flinch.
"What is?" Kiyi asks.
"That one that really sticks out," Ty Lee says, pointing at the peak that Kiyi could not peel her eyes away from. "It's called Poison Hill and I'm not really sure why."
"That's kinda a scary name," Kiyi states, scrunching up her nose and trying to make out any features not masked by the red trees with far less hints of gold, yellow and brown than anywhere else.
The leaves are even more vibrant here, and they all are red. That is strange to Kiyi, given that there should be yellow, gold and brown as well, but she wonders if perhaps it is just a touch of nationalism from the royals.
They could turn the leaves red, right?
"Do you want a tour or something?" Ty Lee offers and Kiyi cannot be annoyed by her cheer. It is genuine, unlike so many other people who have intruded in her life with talk of auras and positivity.
"Sure." Kiyi shrugs and glances over her shoulder. "The trees are really red."
"I thought that was normal." Ty Lee screws up her face and seems to have only noticed how creepy the autumn leaves are. "Is it not?"
Kiyi shrugs again. "I'm not a tree expert."
She does know that on the other side of these mountains is the place she was born. A place she does remember, but her whole childhood just freezes and then skips over to fragments of much later memories. Because of her mother.
Which is exactly why Kiyi is here. Because here is better than where she was before she declared she was going to stay with ZuZu.
"Right," Ty Lee answers awkwardly.
Kiyi is not quite sure if she made the right choice. The mountains make her uncomfortable, as do the trees, and every single statue in the lengthy courtyard is creepy. But she does try to make the best of it and follows Ty Lee as she learns about the courtyard, the remodels, the interior and at last, she leaves Kiyi to her room.
"Thanks," Kiyi says honestly and the Fire Lady drifts away.
She looks around and the rustic Fire Nation charm seems too forced. It is an illusion so that the royals could pretend for a few weeks to be...
Whatever that weird painting of "peasant life" is.
Kiyi lives in the city, and she likes it because she can blend in, and Kiyi isn't the type of person who fits in; she is the type of person who blends in. But she guesses that is better than being some kind of outcast. However, apparently the city is filled with dangers that Kiyi is ninety-nine percent certain are not nearly as deadly as her mother tells her when she tries to walk more than two feet away from their home, which, like this chateau, wears its decor like a shirt that doesn't fit.
Sitting down on her bed, Kiyi sighs in either exasperation or relief. She truly cannot tell the difference at this point. She crawls across the bed and opens the window above it, letting in the ice cold autumn wind. Kiyi lies down, curled up in a ball, and does not notice that she slips into a deep sleep.
[X]
Kiyi wakes abruptly from her nap, uncertain what century it even is. She gasps for breath, because her dream was so weird. She didn't think that people could have nightmares during naps, much less ones that disturbing.
She sits up as she tries to think the dream through, but she realizes that she cannot remember anything but red leaves and golden eyes. Why those two things would be so scary or supernatural doesn't add up to her.
It is still mid-afternoon, Kiyi notices. She gets up and creeps into the hallway. Her suitcases have been neatly stacked outside, which gives her chills. She hates it when people touch her stuff, but she guesses it's better than lugging everything up here and then sorting it herself.
She rummages through her suitcases and finds her poetry journal. Kiyi defends herself about the embarrassing book by declaring that she is an angsty teenager and deserves to write depressing haikus and half-remembered sayings. Kiyi shoves it into her overcoat pocket, since she is planning to go outside into nature and write with it.
After collecting her outdoor gear and poetry book, she tip-toes across the top floor; she doesn't want to be questioned or coddled by anyone today. Kiyi does not have the patience for ZuZu and how he can be as overprotective as their mom. Which is a difficult thing to be.
When she reaches the indoor balcony, she sees her big brother and his wife. At first she thinks that they are just talking, but they most certainly are not; they are in the middle of a row.
"I don't understand why you've been saying that stuff in your sleep again. Is it this place? Should we leave? I bet Kiyi doesn't like it either."
Ty Lee's eyes flash with an extremely irrational anger; Kiyi is baffled by it.
"You just want to leave! That's why you wanted to bring Kiyi here in the first place, isn't it?" Ty Lee screams shrilly. She sounds like an angry kitten. "You don't want to admit to me that you're jealous and worried for no good reason and so you want to use your little sister to get what you want!" Ty Lee pauses. "Again."
Kiyi scuffs her foot on the smooth stone floor and curses under her breath. They both look up at her in a flash.
"I'm sorry you had to hear that," Zuko begins loudly, but Kiyi runs down the stairs and scampers out of the door.
Maybe they try to stop her, but she does not pay them any mind.
It is way too uncomfortable. Way too awkward. Kiyi has never not wanted to be here even more, and so she quickly abandons the courtyard, even if she knows that she should not. She does not like to be trapped or ignored, and so she climbs the fancy fence while none of the guards are looking and lands with a faint thud on the other side.
It takes a few minutes of walking before she moves past the carefully groomed grounds of the royal chateau and enters the neglected parts that lead to nowhere.
She walks inside, searching for somewhere interesting or anything worth looking at. The Fire Nation mountains are supposed to have such beautiful features, but so far, all Kiyi has seen are rocks, trees and more rocks and trees.
The sunlight trickles through the cover of foliage, making dancing patterns on the overgrown path Kiyi slowly follows. She hears water, definitely hears water, and turns to follow the sound.
It is a small river. She would not call it a stream or a brook, as it is too big for that, but it fits very neatly inside of the trees that line it, and she can see how crystal clear it is. Snowmelt, she decides, from the mountains.
It might be cold, but Kiyi absolutely wants to jump into the water. Why? Because no one ever lets her do things like that. Her mother would keel over if she knew that Kiyi was scampering up onto a very rickety wooden bridge in the middle of the forest, where no one she is, about to take a dip in an unregulated mountain river.
She removes her shoes first, and smiles at the idea of getting a splinter. Kiyi has gotten exactly one of those in her life, and her mother pulled it out with tweezers she burned to sterilize, and forbade Kiyi from going near that playground again.
Kiyi is closing her eyes to dive in when she is interrupted and stumbles.
"The water is much deeper than it looks, has an extremely strong current, is very cold, and it is more than likely that you will drown if you jump off of that rock," drawls someone behind Kiyi, and the stranger's advice is nearly useless as she stumbles in shock and nearly takes an unintentional plunge.
Kiyi takes a huge gasp as she steps down from the edge of the splintered railing. "You almost made me fall in!"
Her heart starts to calm down, and as her vision clears, she sees a girl about her age standing in front of her. She has these gorgeous eyes, ones that feel like home, which is an illogical conclusion, but the one Kiyi has all the same.
"But I didn't," the girl says in a smooth purr. She has a nice voice; it's a bit sexy, a bit comforting and a bit discomforting. "You're welcome."
Kiyi cocks an eyebrow. "Who are you, anyway?"
"Someone."
"Where do you live?"
"Around here."
"I didn't think anybody was around here." Kiyi rubs her neck once she realizes that was probably a dumb thing to say.
"Well, the royal family isn't the center of the universe." She shrugs, smirks. "I didn't think anybody was around here either, to be honest. Do you have a reason to be halfway up Poison Hill nearly getting yourself killed?"
Kiyi examines her hands. "I'm bored."
The answer is fair enough. Her family's business is her own, even if they don't really feel like her family. And her reasons for getting herself stuck here are not ones she wants to share with someone she just met ten minutes ago.
"It's boring in these mountains. And lonely," the girl says smoothly, the hint of lament in her tone overshadowed by the way she seems not to care.
"Yeah. I was born on the other side of them." Kiyi shoves her hands in her pockets, realizing she probably looks crazy staring at them like that.
"Really?" Her eyes glint as if Kiyi said something actually interesting.
"I don't remember it very much, though." Also fairly honest. She does think she barely remembers half the reasons she hates her mother, but they do all have to do with those stinging feelings of betrayal from when she was little. "The therapists my mother has forced me to see keep talking about childhood trauma and betrayal from adults."
"Go figure. So did mine," the girl says with a small but genuine smile."If you're that bored, we can go swimming. I didn't say we couldn't." The girl begins stripping off the strange dress. Kiyi swallows.
"Are we gonna...?"
"You've never been naked in front of someone before?" the girl asks, smirking mockingly.
Kiyi clenches her jaw. "Of course I have," she lies and the girl's smirk becomes knowing.
"I won't look," the girl says with a laugh. She drops the weird dress and Kiyi is able to examine it.
It seems to be made out of pants and a shirt, maybe some other cloth from other clothes. It is stitched together by hand. Kiyi finds it very fashionable; it looks like something that the faerie spirits of the forest would wear. Or maybe a ferial woman.
Kiyi looks up from the dress when she hears a splash and a few drops of frigid water spray onto her face. And Kiyi undresses as the girl swims out further. Quickly, Kiyi jumps in and screams when she bounces up.
"COLD!" she shrieks and the birds vacate the trees. The girl laughs.
Kiyi laughs.
The afternoon is awesome.
[X]
Kiyi's dark hair is frozen when she at lasts climbs up onto the fence. She halts, however, when she sees Zuko looking up at her with an angry expression. Straddling the fence, Kiyi sighs and wrings out her hair for the zillionth time.
"There you are! You fucking horrified us!" Zuko shouts before averting his eyes in shame. She almost wishes he had yelled at her more, because it's not like any other authority figure in her life has done that.
"You didn't look for me that hard. I wasn't even far away." Kiyi shrugs and looks a tad smug.
"Please, don't do that. I brought you to this house so that you could go places without being in a lot of danger." Zuko sighs and Kiyi's expression sours. Her mother is so obsessed with keeping her safe that she is going to drive Kiyi absolutely insane.
"You put me in a playpen," Kiyi snaps.
"It's a humongous palace grounds! Why did you feel the need to climb a fence and go off to Poison Hill when we have hundreds of acres of monitored, safety checked land?"
"Nobody wants to assassinate me. You're paranoid. And I didn't get lost; some neighbor girl helped me out." Kiyi had not thought much of meeting another kid her age, and at first it doesn't seem to bother Zuko or Ty Lee, but then they have that look that Kiyi recognizes as them trying really, really hard to be responsible but having no idea how.
Zuko frowns slightly. "She still could be an assassin. Or have a crazy murderous father! The only kind of people who live in these mountains are hiding war criminals and country folks."
"Right." She shrugs somewhat dejectedly as Ty Lee opens her mouth to protest with something grossly too flattering but she seems to change her mind. "But I didn't get murdered by a war criminal or country folk. She was my age anyway, and stopped me from drowning."
"How did you almost drown? You've been here for one day. I don't know how I'd explain myself if you died in the woods. Or live with it. Or live with it too." Zuko sighs and she feels regret hit her like a tsunami.
"I'm sorry that I scared you. I really am. It's like you said, though. I came here because I felt trapped and the forest looked interesting. I'm not supposed to talk to strangers, but I also have never really had a friend my age in a long time, because our mother seems to think I will die of a drug overdose or fall off a cliff or something if I do," Kiyi explains earnestly and Zuko instantly softens.
"You can go up that one hill, okay? But you need to ask first so we can make sure you don't get into any trouble," Zuko says calmly and Ty Lee smiles glossily as if it will make the discomfort go away. Kiyi thinks her brother might be on the right side in their failing marriage, but it isn't any of her business.
"Yeah, whatever," Kiyi grumbles before stalking back off to her room.
[X]
Kiyi goes out exploring again the second day of her visit. The breakfast was as uncomfortable as watching Zuko and Ty Lee argue again. Clearly, Ty Lee must have been muttering the name of a guy she had an affair with in her sleep or something, because that topic never rests with them.
She climbs halfway up Poison Hill and starts walking through clearings. The meadows are beautiful, even if no flowers are blooming except a little bright red prairie-fire here and there. After enough time walking to make her feet sore, Kiyi finds a treehouse.
Kiyi never had one of those, and she eagerly looks around for the ladder.
There isn't a way up.
"Can you not climb a tree?" calls down a familiar voice from the edge of the treehouse and Kiyi's eyes light up.
"I can too!" Kiyi exclaims as she tries to do it. But she starts falling backwards, yelping in pain and shock.
The girl's hand shoots down and grabs Kiyi by the wrist. Her skinny body shakes with laughter as she helps Kiyi up into the treehouse. It is empty, but it is still the most exciting place Kiyi has ever been in.
"Yeah... you can't climb trees." The girl smirks.
Kiyi then sees what was dislodged from her pocket during the fall and blushes fire red.
"What's that?" the girl asks, snatching it away before Kiyi can react. The girl starts flipping through and Kiyi is blushing way too hard.
It's her poetry journal.
She has never been so embarrassed.
"No, no," the girl protests, "I think it's interesting. These aren't half bad."
Kiyi rubs her feverish cheeks. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course you say that."
The girl slams it shut with a loud click that makes Kiyi flinch.
[X]
They talk about family, and dreams they used to have, as they count the clouds and assign animals to them.
"My mother is a two-faced bitch," the girl says with a tiny laugh.
"Mine too." Kiyi glares at the ground so far beneath her dangling feet.
"It is dreadful to realize the truth," the girl remarks with a small sigh. She looks down below the treehouse.
Kiyi walks her fingers across the wood and then rests her hand atop her friend's. The girl looks at Kiyi, smirking and slowly shaking her head. But she does not pull her hand away.
"What truth?" Kiyi asks.
"When we realize those who are supposed to love us and care for us more than anything, really care for themselves and their own pleasures more. It's painful because it makes you realize how alone you really are," the girl explains and there is a wistfulness in her tone.
Kiyi stares at her for some time. She does not know what to say to that.
"It's bad people who do that, though. You're not alone. Bad people do that," Kiyi breathes.
"But what if you don't find out that the people are bad until they've already done that?" the girl asks smoothly and Kiyi feels a bit queasy.
"People don't just suddenly turn bad," Kiyi states, even though she is not sure if she believes herself or not.
"People aren't born bad. Some people just learn evil quickly," the girl says, leaning against the chafed wooden wall behind her. "Especially if it's taught to them."
"That is literally the most poetic thing I've ever heard," Kiyi declares honestly. "Write it down for me?"
The girl's eyes flicker for a moment. "You do it. It's your poetry journal."
Kiyi smiles and does.
[X]
After a lazy afternoon of identifying cloud animals and trying not to be too embarrassed to share her poetry book with her neighbor friend, Kiyi is offered a bowl of fruit by Fire Lady Ty Lee, who already has one of her own. Kiyi accepts the blood oranges and the cherry juice Ty Lee gives her along with it.
Kiyi thought suburban Caldera had too much red. This place, however, is over the top. The leaves even leave marks that look like blood on her skin when she crumbles them in her hands.
"Have you seen that girl in the woods again?" Ty Lee asks as she unpeels Kiyi's blood orange for her. Kiyi clenches her jaw to not stop at Ty Lee; she means well. "I've seen you going out there every day. Poison Hill is really beautiful; I understand why you go up there."
Kiyi pokes at her pile of orange slices. "Yeah. She's really smart. And pretty. And really fun. I'm not allowed to have friends back home, so it's cool to finally have one."
Ty Lee knits her brow with a concern that reminds Kiyi of Ursa.
"She sounds very nice. Has she told you her name?" Ty Lee asks sweetly.
"Mmm..." Kiyi scrunches up her face. "I think she told me, but I don't remember. I'm bad at names."
"Oh. I'd love to hear once you remember. Maybe your brother and I know her family and... we could get together," Ty Lee says warmly. "I love making friends."
"Right." You can't have her, Kiyi thinks much too viciously.
[X]
Zuko and Ty Lee's fight somehow seems even more petty but loud this time. Kiyi is in her bedroom, trying to sleep, but she can hear them from across the chateau. It is fairly hard to sleep when she is hearing about all of her brother's marital issues.
"I fell in love with you and I'm sorry! I know you wanted it to be platonic, and I did too!" Zuko shouts and Ty Lee clenches her fists.
"You have been using me as a replacement for Mai for five years! Don't act like I'm the only person who's yelled the wrong name during sex!" shrieks Ty Lee and Kiyi gulps uncomfortably.
No. She does not like that. She did not need to hear that.
She gets up and goes to her window, shimmying through. Kiyi can remember when she used to sneak out at night, but her mother put a stop to it, of course. Her mother continuously crushed her because she was crying about all the other people she lost.
It is dark out, and Kiyi has to admit that it is way creepier outside than she imagined it would be. She glances around, wishing she were a firebender. Kiyi thinks she hears something and shrieks, turning to see the gate to the courtyard.
There is a bright blue glow in the dim night, like some kind of lantern with freaky cerulean fireflies in it. Kiyi jumps back inside, crashing onto her bed loudly. She sits up as quickly as she can and slams the window shut. Her hands tremble as she latches the window and lies down.
They are still fighting.
Kiyi has the same nightmare that she cannot remember that night.
[X]
In the morning, Kiyi has no desire to listen to Zuko and Ty Lee fight anymore. She hikes up Poison Hill, hoping that she runs into her friend again. She is on the plains at the moment, not obscured by the trees but still far away from civilization.
Kiyi squints into the bright white sunlight and sees a silhouette. Woah, the girl in the distance looks eerie; she looks like an extension of the sunlight itself. And Kiyi very quickly realizes that it is her friend from the woods. Good. Kiyi needs somebody to talk to who isn't totally insane.
The girl strides towards Kiyi, but stops near the edge of the field of dry grass and red leaves that smother it.
"Come here!" the girl calls and Kiyi runs to meet her, not thinking too hard about if running out into the woods is going to piss anybody off.
Kiyi catches up to her and her eyes widen with excitement. "Hey."
"Hey," the girl says coolly. "Wanna go for a walk?"
"I can think of worse things to do," Kiyi replies and the girl nods once, sharply, quickly. "You a firebender?" Kiyi asks as they start walking and the girl looks startled. She had been composed each second Kiyi has seen her, but now she looks a bit thrown off.
"I suppose. Why?" the girl inquires, half her lip curled.
"You have really fast reflexes," Kiyi says matter-of-factly. "It reminds me of my brother."
The girl hesitates and the wind catches her raven hair. "So, he's the Fire Lord? Now, why haven't I ever heard of you?"
Kiyi laughs mirthlessly. "Because I'm not actually royalty. Nobody pretends I am either."
"Hm. Royalty is overrated. A crown doesn't mean as much as it used to." Pause. "And so...?"
"And so I hate everyone. Ugh. My mom, my brother's okay or else I wouldn't have asked to come out here. But they make it pretty easy to hate them."
She and the girl reach the babbling brook. The girl sits down on the cold stone and Kiyi notices for the first time that she is not wearing shoes. Or maybe she took them off, but Kiyi does not see shoes anywhere.
The girl says, "It's normal to hate your parents, or half-brother. They're afraid of you overthrowing the power dynamic and so they suppress you and your individuality."
"Do you have parents?"
"No, I'm a tree faerie spirit who only comes down from her tree castle to make friends with whiny kids."
"So, you have parents? They seem to let you just wander around."
"You're doing the same thing."
"Ugh. You're mean."
"I know. Did your parents... die?"
"They... okay, I know they got divorced, but I have a huge blank stretch because of childhood trauma or something. My mom is awful and I've been living with her and I hate her and we fight so much and she gets so upset and so I said I was moving to ZuZ─ Zuko's. I think she's thinks I'm coming back."
"You don't intend to?"
"I dunno." Kiyi tosses another rock into the water. It doesn't skip; it just sploshes. "Do you ever think that people are..." Kiyi wrestles with words because she doesn't know how to say it. "Do you ever think that people really love and miss and really love somebody but they don't have them and so they make you into a replacement. But you never really forget that you're just that."
The girl scoffs without meaning to. "Who were you even replacing?"
Kiyi bites her lip and decides not to discuss her mother and the murmurs of another daughter who she lost and so that was why she was so tough and overbearing. Because she didn't want Kiyi to die too, which was bullshit.
"Nobody. I, I was talking about Zuko and Ty Lee."
"And...?" Her interest is sparkling wildly in her eyes and Kiyi thinks she might be the type of person who feeds on secrets and gossip.
"They were fighting about me. Without waiting for ten minutes, and I, okay I know they'd apologize if I asked. But she's cheating on him? No, he stole her from somebody else? I dunno but whoever her ex is makes my brother really mad, and he never gets mad. He's so calm."
The girl snorts derisively and then averts her gaze, her shoulders shaking with silent snickers. "I love that. The weakest Fire Lord in history can't even control his wife and little sister."
Kiyi wants to protest that ZuZu is actually pretty great, and people give him more trouble than he deserves, but she is afraid that her new friend will stop liking her.
"You forgot this," the girl interrupts, and Kiyi looks at the book in her hand.
"My poetry journal!" Kiyi calls out excitedly. She reaches for it and the girl yanks it out of her grasp with a snicker. Kiyi almost smashes her face open on the rocks. Ugh, maybe she should have expected that.
They wrestle for it and Kiyi manages to pin the girl to the ground. But she thinks the girl might have let her win; she gave up her struggle so fast that it was suspicious. Kiyi is on top of her, pinning her down, and she thinks for a moment about kissing her. But then she changes her mind and says honestly, awkwardly, "It's really nice to have somebody listen to me. Thanks."
"Of course." That sweet but mysterious smile.
"Do you wanna come for dinner? It's not as crazy as you think." Kiyi is completely lying. There is no way Zuko and Ty Lee can hold it together at a dinner.
"I'm afraid I can't." The girl sits up and brushes off her weird dress.
Kiyi cannot hide her disappointment. "Why not?"
"Tree Faerie Spirit Meeting. It's very important." The girl winks and is gone.
That girl has a way of disappearing in a blink of an eye and Kiyi wonders why she feels so horrible that she didn't even get to say goodnight.
Part II
"She's so insanely perfectly perfect," Kiyi drones on as she closes her poetry book. She has been writing poems about the girl in the woods, titled The Tree Faerie Spirit. She speaks of the girl and she expects that Zuko and Ty Lee listen to her. "I never had a friend before."
"Which is why you should be careful," Zuko says and Kiyi rolls her eyes flippantly. "What?"
"Yeah, yeah. I think she's awesome, okay? There's nothing wrong with her. Come meet her if you want to. I'll take you to her," Kiyi says, leaping up onto her feet.
Ty Lee grabs Zuko's arm. "I don't think that you should," she says with a weird urgency. Zuko seems to understand Ty Lee's panic as much as Kiyi does. "Poison Hill has a really bad vibe and I don't want the Fire Lord going there and dying without an heir."
Without an heir were probably stupid words, but no one mentions it; Ty Lee looks too scared.
"Well, then I'll take her to you," Kiyi says confidently, and she leaves, yet again going so quickly that she can pretend not to hear them demanding that she stop.
Kiyi runs out to the courtyard and paces around. She pushes on the gate, tries to attract her friend. It is when she begins to climb over the edge that she looks out and can see a feminine figure amongst the trees, watching from afar. It would be creepy if Kiyi didn't recognize her.
Kiyi cups her hands around her mouth as a make-shift amplifier. "Oi! Oi!" Kiyi shouts and the girl moves but does not go down the hill.
At least until Kiyi falls off of the gate that she was straddling and hits the ground. She gasps in vain; the winds have been knocked out of her. Kiyi is panicking and choking when she sees her friend above her. Those beautiful golden eyes fixate on Kiyi as she extends a hand and helps her up.
"Thanks. I owe you one," Kiyi says, not letting go of her friend's hand.
"You owe me much more than one," the girl says and she sounds... weirdly serious about that.
The girl begins to slip her hand away from Kiyi, and Kiyi lunges forward without thinking about her actions. Their lips collide and Kiyi sinks into her first ever kiss. It could not be more perfect, just like the girl she is kissing. But then the girl recoils, making a retching sound of disgust.
"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to offend you!" Kiyi stammers in horror.
The girl is frozen and staring at Kiyi as if she is a sea slug before she looks up and her eyes flash wide in panic.
Kiyi looks for some kind of bear creature, or an explanation of why Kiyi kissing her was such an awful thing, but Kiyi sees only Zuko.
Kiyi starts shouting when she sees him, "ZuZu, this is, this is ─" and Kiyi realizes that she is pointing at nothing, and he has that concerned expression on again. "I guess she left."
Kiyi looks up at him and sighs, but when she glances at Ty Lee her eyes narrow.
"You saw her! You did! Tell him she's not imaginary!"
"I'm sure she just ran off," Ty Lee says quietly and Kiyi cannot stop herself from glaring.
[X]
Kiyi looks for her friend for four days. She leaves early in the morning and comes home late at night empty handed. There has never been anything she has regretted more than kissing her friend. That was so stupid. And now she doesn't think that she is ever coming back.
"This is all mother's fault," Kiyi murmurs in agony. She stares at her dinner and, again, refuses to eat more than a few bites.
"It's not," Zuko says before realizing that is not the best way to try to cheer her up. "It's not your fault either. Your friend just was probably surprised about the kiss or was scared that I walked in right after it happened. She'll come around again, but maybe you should stay out of the woods for a bit."
"No!" Kiyi screams, startled by her own vehemence. "No you cannot make me leave the woods!"
Zuko looks at Ty Lee with pain and knowledge in his eyes. Kiyi does not care about it, though, or why her statement made them look at each other like that.
"I'm going to the woods right now!" Kiyi screams it, and bolts off.
She can hear Zuko sigh behind her.
[X]
Kiyi is lost. Kiyi is lost and she hates herself for it.
She is sobbing as she wanders around Poison Hill. Dawn is so, so far away and she doesn't know what to do about that. She just aches and burns and hurts more than death or rebirth.
Why does everyone leave her in the end, anyway? Why is nobody ever who they say they are?
Mother. It is mother's fault.
Blue. Kiyi looks up after fumbling miserably in the darkness to see the blue that made the creepy lantern before.
The blue guides her home, even though Kiyi never finds the source.
[X]
Kiyi mopes around the chateau for two more days after trying to run away. Zuko and Ty Lee leave her alone. At least until Ty Lee walks into the room in which Kiyi is napping and begins to make annoying sounds.
Ty Lee looks nervous and sad and angry and basically every negative emotion Kiyi did not think Ty Lee was capable of feeling. It makes a panic surge within the teen as she stands, frozen.
"Tell me about your friend," she hisses.
Kiyi narrows her eyes. "I've been telling you jerks about her nonstop! She's really awesome and when she talks to me she makes me feel important instead of like a ghost!"
"What's her name? Where does she live? What does she look like? She could be a total creep and she makes me and your brother worried."
"You're both jealous."
"That's ridiculous. We care about you."
"But not each other. You're both jealous because somebody likes me and I'm having a young romance while you two have the most pathetically loveless marriage I've ever seen."
Well, that shocked Ty Lee harder than Kiyi was and so the younger girl escaped before she could have this taken away from her.
Her head races with the possibility of just running away, into the forest, and maybe getting back to where she was born. But she doesn't remember the way, and so she just walks up to her room, shoves an ottoman, a bookshelf and stacks several paintings against the door until she is too sweaty and out of breath to continue, and then sits down on her bed.
Nobody follows her.
She hates them.
[X]
Knocking on the door, and Kiyi thinks it's ZuZu. She is pretty certain she pushed Ty Lee of the crazy ledge she was teetering on for some reason. Ty Lee had always seemed to be the only sane one in the entire family, but that apparently could not last for long.
Yup, crazy, because Ty Lee says softly through the door, "Can I just show you something? I'm sorry about freaking out at you and you were totally right and I should have been way nicer."
It sounds genuine, which makes it impossible for Kiyi to scream or protest. Sighing, Kiyi shoves as much of the blockade off of her door and opens it a few inches to see most of Ty Lee's tan, skinny, perfect body and her big, shiny eyes that definitely have let her cheat on ZuZu. It seems to be what they're obsessed over.
"It took me a really long time to find this stuff. But I..." Ty Lee blushes light pink. "Can you come up to the attic? I'm not going to kill you, but that's what I would say if I was going to kill you, so it's your choice."
Kiyi's lips twitch at that feeble excuse for a joke, and she sighs loudly to express how much she does not want to comply. But she shimmies through the gap in her bedroom door and follows Ty Lee across the upper floor of the Royal Chateau.
And up the stairs, and into the only part that does not seem to be newly refurbished. Yeah, the attic is as creepy as the majority of the Caldera Palace. But Kiyi bets that most of the palace is transformed into this weird style that feels like a set for the Ember Island Players and not a home or piece of history.
"Your─our family has pretty much removed everything from everywhere that relates to the war. That really includes weapons, memorabilia, nationalist stuff and family portraits and mementos from people like Sozin and Azulon and Ozai. Zuko took a lot of pictures of him away too, and I'm not that sure why." Ty Lee takes a deep breath and finishes rambling as Kiyi pokes the tip of a rusty spear that must have been on display ages ago.
Kiyi is studying the beautiful golden engravings on the weapon when she hears the thud of a book next to her on the dusty table.
"Yeah?" Kiyi cocks an eyebrow. "I'm not gonna be in any of those, and none of these people are my family anyway."
"Just..." Ty Lee holds up one finger as she feels around the book, realizes she forgot to mark the page, and starts flipping through the newly cleaned pages of elaborate ink paintings.
They look compiled and Kiyi has no idea who the people are, but she guesses Iroh, Ozai, Sozin, Azulon, maybe ZuZu. She knows he had a cousin, and she knows they have a sister but Kiyi cannot connect a face or memory to the half-sister no matter how hard she tries.
Ty Lee finally opens it, exhaling in relief and then inhaling nervously.
"That's kinda cute. He was so awkward; I love it! Oh, spirits, that's you! You look horrible!" Kiyi cackles as she stares at the stupid painting of four kids her age. They're all attractive, but so outdated. "Okay, Aunt Mai, and..."
Kiyi stops laughing.
"Is that your new friend, Kiyi?" Ty Lee whispers like she is afraid someone will hear her.
Kiyi's blood runs cold and her vision is hazy.
"No." Kiyi does not think she is fooling anyone, because she never has been the best liar even if she is a good actress. That is the scariest thing she has ever seen and she cannot identify the emotion within her, but it makes her skin prickle and her stomach hurt.
Kiyi does not want to ask, but she has to. "Who is she?"
Ty Lee struggles to say it, does not seem to want to; the name is taboo.
"That's your sister. That's," and Ty Lee's usually bright, loud voice is silenced to a whisper, "That's Azula."
Ty Lee glances around the room like there might be a spider-snake in it and Kiyi wraps her arms around herself.
I kissed my sister, Kiyi thinks. And then she realizes why Azula acted so revolted. "She knew all along," Kiyi whispers. She feels... used, somehow, even though she doesn't know what Azula used her for.
"I'm sure she did." Ty Lee pauses. "I'm sure she's lonely out in those woods. She used to visit me all the time."
"Visit you?" Kiyi wants to be skeptical, but she has just learned that someone she thought was her best friend is a ghost.
"For a long while, I could feel her, and I don't know how to explain that really. I've always been clairvoy-clairvoyant is the word? I guess. But then I came way out here and she was just like she was in my dreams. But these dreams were real. I could touch her... Kiyi, I could touch her."
"Why'd you marry ZuZu then?" Kiyi scoffs and Ty Lee's expression becomes even more pained.
"So I could hold onto her for longer. But she stopped... she left me. She left me and it was horrible because I knew that she would. She's perfect, isn't she? You see how perfect she is."
"Please don't cry," Kiyi protests, feeling weak. "I won't go back to her."
Ty Lee gazes at Kiyi as if she does not believe her.
[X]
Kiyi hears pebbles hitting the window of her bedroom and screams into her pillow. Her heart is pounding after she had the same nightmare of glowing golden eyes. Please don't let it be a ghost out there, please don't let it be a ghost out there...
Slowly, Kiyi peers out of the window. It is a ghost out there.
Closing her eyes, Kiyi opens the window and before she can even settle down on her bed again, Azula is sitting on the windowsill.
"Can I come in?" Azula asks softly and Kiyi thinks she sounds friendly.
Maybe she really was just lonely out there. Maybe people aren't born bad and everybody always lied about Azula.
"Yeah," Kiyi says, sitting back further.
Azula drops down onto the mattress and it does not make a sound beneath her. How does she feel so real but seem to have no weight or mass?
"Ty Lee told you about me, didn't you? She never could keep her mouth shut," Azula says haughtily, and Kiyi now knows that her friend is angry. "She's jealous. That's all she is."
"I know," Kiyi whispers. But she doesn't. "And I know about what you are too."
"Not exactly," Azula says, shaking her head slowly. "I can explain it better if I could show you."
She glances over her shoulder.
"What's on Poison Hill?" Kiyi asks quietly, but she thinks she knows. She thinks anyone would have guessed.
"My body." Yup; Kiyi guessed that.
"Why are you...?" Kiyi wishes there were words to use in this situation. She sees Azula in front of her and so quickly forgets all of her anger about the kiss that she does not even know what to do or say.
"It's a curse," Azula says in a tone Kiyi does not like much. It scares her. "It's a curse and I hate it. I'm trapped with no way out."
"How can I help you?" Kiyi whispers hopefully.
"Move my body out of the Spirit World Border. If you care about me at all, you'll come with me to my body and break my curse. Your family should have done it a long, long time ago," Azula says icily and Kiyi does not like her eyes. They don't have the warm sunlight gold, but a creepy, molten type like an angry wolf-cougar. "It belongs to me and I deserve that reparation."
"They're not my real family," Kiyi whispers and Azula shrugs carelessly. It doesn't seem to matter to her. "But I want to help you, because I really do like you. I know we haven't known each other for really long... But I wish I had been able to know you."
Azula averts her eyes. "Meet me tomorrow when the moon is at its apex."
She is moving towards the window.
"I mean it. I mean it when I saw I wish I had been able to know you," Kiyi insists, but Azula is gone.
Disappearing like... like a ghost.
[X]
The next night, after rebuffing any concerns from Zuko and Ty Lee by playing up her depressed state, Kiyi tears out the page of her poetry journal and hopes Azula won't be mad.
On the front, she scrawls, "I'm leaving to go live with the only person who really loves me."
She flips it over. She ripped out just the right poem by accident. It is the one she frantically scrawled two nights ago to try to cope with what she learned.
'I fell for you like autumn leaves
And now I love you so much I ask permission to breathe
But now we've exhumed what should have stayed beneath
And I must pay the debt that my family bequeathed.'
Kiyi's hand twitches to turn it over again, but she decides against it, gets up and jumps down from her window. Her feet make a satisfying crunch when she lands, but she does not stop to listen before running towards Poison Hill as fast as her feet can carry her.
Azula waits for her.
Kiyi sees the blue light in her hand. It is fire. It is cerulean fire from Kiyi's dead half sister that guided her out of the forest. The hair on the back of Kiyi's neck then prickles when she realizes she saw the blue glow in the courtyard.
Azula had been watching her.
But before Kiyi can question her friend, Azula begins, "I'll take you to my body, but it's a long walk."
"We have all night, right?"
[X]
Azula explains how she got to this point as they walk across Poison Hill and, for the first time, over the other edge and towards the Forgetful Valley.
"Do you know why they call it Poison Hill?" Azula asks coldly.
"Uh... I guess there must be poisonous plants on it?" Kiyi scratches her sweaty neck. How is she so hot and flustered when it is so cold out? "The creepy red trees?"
"It's called Poison Hill because a girl died of poisoning there. But she didn't die. Or... at least not really. Spirits aren't that forgiving." Azula keeps walking; Kiyi struggles to keep up. "Her body was trapped, she walked the woods for centuries before I stumbled into them."
Kiyi just nods. She looks to her left and squints out in the direction she thinks her birthplace is. But it is too far away, and she does not want to look weak, curious or sentimental in front of Azula. Kiyi wants to go with her, even if she has not been clear about that intention yet.
They walk and walk and walk and walk. And at last Azula stops.
Kiyi struggles not to scream. She is horrified.
She does not know why she wasn't expecting this. She does not know why she didn't brace herself to see a corpse, but she does, but it is too fresh and that feels so worrying. Ten years. It has been ten years and it looks like she died ten minutes ago.
There is still a slight flush in her cheeks, but there is something too ashen about it.
"Do you recognize me? No. That's been pretty clear. I presume I could have even told you my name and you would have had no idea who you were dealing with."
"That's not true..." Kiyi whispers weakly. "I wish I knew you."
"Liar," Azula snarls primly. "Pick me up before I lose my patience."
"That's... Did you just take me out here to be mean to me?"
"No. I took you out here so you could do what your worthless whore of a sister-in-law was too selfish to do."
"You took her here?" Kiyi asks and the acidic bile of jealousy begins to eat her insides. "You took her here? I thought I was special to you. You said I shouldn't be treated like I was replaceable."
Azula shrugs. "I still stand by that. Now help me and you can really be irreplaceable. You seem to be the only one who can help me. The only one who understands me. I've been incredibly lonely."
Kiyi believes her, but her heart is pounding as she reaches towards the corpse lying there.
"Where... Where do you want me to take you?" Kiyi asks quietly as she tries to figure out how to pick up the body. The body isn't too heavy for Kiyi; it's surprisingly light.
"It's difficult to explain. Just follow me," Azula states crisply and Kiyi swallows, nods and obeys.
"Why did she not wanna do this?" Kiyi asks, trying to distract herself from the cold skin against her feverish arms and body.
"Because she's afraid to let go of me," Azula replies. "I used to want to haunt her. I used to be in her dreams, and always be there. But she wouldn't do anything permanent. Said she was too scared to die too."
"You don't want me...?" Kiyi asks frantically, but for some reason, she keeps walking.
"Not if you don't want to. I can't make you. If I could, wouldn't I have forced her to do it a long time ago?" Azula snaps and Kiyi's skin crawls. "I want you to break this curse, and that's all you have to do. That's all I want from you, and it's not hard."
"If I said... yes, what would happen?" Kiyi asks quietly and Azula looks amused by it.
"Then I suppose we could be together forever in some kind of afterlife I heard isn't dreadful." Azula shrugs and Kiyi stares at her.
"I'd like that," Kiyi says and Azula shakes her head again. "You don't like me as much as I like you."
"You don't know me and I don't know you," Azula says bitterly.
"We have so much in common!" Kiyi says and then realization hits her like ice water to the face. "That's..." That explains mother. That explains so much.
"Hurry up, will you?" Azula barks again.
[X]
They do not get there in time. Or, at least, Zuko and Ty Lee track them down before they can make it. Kiyi starts to panic as she sees bright red in the forest. She is carrying a corpse and nobody would believe her story.
At first, she thinks she is thankful that it is Zuko and Ty Lee. But she is wrong.
"Kiyi stop! Kiyi stop! Kiyi!" Ty Lee is screaming as Zuko tries to keep their path lit. They are both panting and sweating. They must have run all this way.
Azula stares at them when they arrive on the scene.
Ty Lee continues, but more softly, "Kiyi, you don't know what you're doing! Someone else needs to take her place? Don't you know that? Did you not listen to the story?"
Azula's eyes flash viciously.
"Ty Lee, you are not involved in this," Azula says coldly and the Fire Lady stares at the ghost of her one and only true love. Kiyi feels jealous, angry and scared all at once. She slowly lets the corpse down out of her sore arms and Zuko makes a sound in his throat; he is holding back vomit when he sees it.
"I am," Ty Lee whispers. "I'm sorry I was so selfish, but don't curse this innocent kid."
"Then who should I curse?" Azula breathes and Kiyi glances between the two adults and ghostly teenager. No, this... this doesn't make sense. "She said everyone considers her to be replaceable," Azula purrs, shrugging once. "I see no justification for you all only standing up for her now."
"I want to do this!" Kiyi shrieks, her face still flushed with furious anger at Zuko and Ty Lee.
Kiyi doesn't know when she decided that. She thinks there must have been something in her that had figured it out when she heard about Azula's body replacing the poisoned girl. Azula only ever wanted to transfer the curse to Kiyi, but Kiyi... wants it.
"Kiyi, please," Zuko says and the pain in his tone just makes Kiyi clench her fists.
"Unless one of you would volunteer for this girl. It is your debt. It is what you did wrong and maybe you should take responsibility for it."
"No, I don't want them to get that! I want to stay with you forever!"
"Shut up, Kiyi." And those words smack her into silence.
Kiyi is not sure what to think now, because Azula does not feel like that Azula that Kiyi loves. Maybe loved. But Kiyi does not know if she can back down now... and she is most frightened by the fact that she does want to back down now.
"She wants you to be a replacement," Zuko says and his words are clever. "She wants you to replace her."
Kiyi stares at him, her lips parted. She knows not what to say.
The night, however, lights up in blinding blue. Kiyi cannot see what is happening, but she screams and screams when she feels the burns on her hands. She then feels big, muscular arms picking her up. It's ZuZu. She tries to hold back her tears as he carries her and starts running away from the cracking, burning trees.
Blood red leaves light up in the all consuming ocean blue fire.
The whirlwind of flame pursues the brother and sister and Zuko drops down to the ground, holding Kiyi.
"We're not gonna make it," Kiyi whispers, because she doesn't think she and ZuZu stand a huge chance against whatever that is.
Kiyi looks up and Zuko holds her back as he tries to keep behind the cover of rock. They are both sweating.
"Where's Ty Lee?" Kiyi asks, but she knows. She looks into the midst of the fire and sees a woman whose nightgown and bathrobe have started burning, but Ty Lee is making no effort to put out the flames that are now visibly searing the skin of her legs.
Ty Lee steps forward. "I am so sorry," Ty Lee whispers into Azula's hair, her lips nearly on her neck. "I am so sorry I didn't help you. I am so sorry that I didn't come back and I never came back and when I did come back it was with Zuko and I am so sorry."
"I don't want your apologies."
"You want my actions," Ty Lee declares as Azula begins to walk away from her, and Kiyi sees a life and passion in Ty Lee that Kiyi did not think existed. She thought Ty Lee was hollow but shiny plastic, but right now she looks as radiant as the sun.
"I do." Azula stops. Kiyi knows she has no choice but to stop because of her whole chameleon soul speech. "You have one action that can absolve you of what you did and that is to do this for me."
Ty Lee does not hesitate and Zuko and Kiyi do not have time to react.
Gone.
[X]
Kiyi trembles in the pale moonlight. The leaves are falling too quickly and Kiyi wonders if that had anything to do with the very angry spirit who had inhabited the forest.
"Why did she do that? Why did she replace me? It was my fault. I got myself into that and it was my fault," Kiyi at last manages to say, stammering, her voice constricted with emotion. "Where is she?"
Ty Lee is there, but Ty Lee is not.
"I should have told you and I'm sorry I didn't warn you," Ty Lee whispers as she sets her hand on Kiyi's. It feels the same weird temperature and consistency as Azula's in the treehouse.
"Why did she want to do this to you?" Kiyi asks quietly.
"She didn't," Ty Lee admits. "She wanted me to use Mai. Then, eventually, she wanted me to use anybody. I've never been the most moral person, but I..." couldn't.
"She wanted you to die with her and..." replace her with somebody she didn't like. Kiyi feels her nose tingle with the inevitable tears. She could not cry during the ordeal, but she is about to begin crying now that it is over.
Ursa. Ursa is there, walking towards Kiyi. She had just been talking to Zuko, and Kiyi doubts he said anything about his ghost sister. Mostly because she halfheartedly greets and then overlooks Ty Lee. Someone who just found out about cursed ghosts wandering the woods wouldn't do that, Kiyi is certain.
Kiyi is happy to embrace her mother. She is glad she is there.
But that happiness disappears as soon as Ursa tells her the new plans.
"Mom," Kiyi says, her eyes swelling with tears. "don't do this! I got into trouble because of you!"
But Kiyi is given no choice.
[X]
Kiyi wars with herself in indecision. Zuko makes up lies about where Ty Lee is, and Kiyi can see the pain in his eyes about the truth. She knows she is going with her mom, her mom who went into an entire list of how she is going to keep Kiyi locked up and safe.
But Kiyi cannot do that. Kiyi cannot sacrifice her freedom for that. And so she climbs over that gate one last time, and walks past the place she was born, and then walks to the place where she dies.
Kiyi lived as a replacement, and so it is fitting that she dies replacing Ty Lee, letting the burned corpse go and join Azula so Ty Lee would never use anyone as a replacement again.
Kiyi lived as a replacement. Kiyi died as a replacement.
Epilogue
"I can see why you haven't been back here in forever," Izumi remarks to her dad as she looks around the Royal Chateau. "It's gross. I wanted to go with Kya and Bumi to Whale Tail Island."
Zuko groans. "I know what you wanted. Your mom wanted to come out here."
Mai. Mai wanted to and Izumi kind of hates her mother for it. Izumi hates her mother for a lot of reasons, to be honest. She has seen the look in Mai's amber eyes when she sees her daughter; Mai is seeing someone else.
"What's that place?" Izumi asks, pointing out at the huge hill rising in the distance.
"That's Poison Hill," Zuko says flatly and Izumi squints at him. "Don't go there, okay?"
Izumi scowls as he helps the servants take their suitcases inside, leaving her in the cold, bitter autumn wind. Silently, Izumi looks around. She walks towards the courtyard and can see what disrepair their chateau is in; she is definitely in for home improvement busywork while she is here. Ugh. That would not have happened on Whale Tale Island.
She looks up at the gates leading off of the royal land and then looks away. Okay, maybe she doesn't have the same guts as her best friends; they would climb right over that fence and run up Poison Hill as fast as they could scamper.
"Hey," hisses someone and Izumi clamps her hand over her mouth to stifle her scream of shock. She spins on her heel and sees someone on the other side of the gate; it's a girl her age.
"Hey," Izumi says weakly, turning to face the slender teenager climbing up the gate and sitting on it.
The girl straddling the metal bars looks down at Izumi with a friendly smile. Izumi grins back.
"What's your name?" the pretty stranger asks sweetly, and Izumi doesn't notice the slightly malicious glint in her eyes.
"Princess Izumi. Uh, just Izumi." Izumi smiles again.
"Nice to meet you, Just Izumi. I'm Kiyi. Wanna go swimming?"
end