EDITED! JESUS! Didn't think I'd do it, did you?
Greetings new readers and old readers, you may have noticed by now that all my stories are going through a massive re-write. For new readers I'll inform you that this was first published here 04-19-07 and I have been writing it to this very day.
See, since I first started writing I've become a bit of a grammar Nazi and less young and stupid. I mean – this started back when I was about 14... now I'll be 18 in a couple of days. It was either edit it or leave it deleted... and I couldn't bear to delete it.
I've left this first chapter basically the same for the sake of the cuteness of my first ever post on this site.

Jak: Does this mean you'll get rid of everything that's happened between Erol and me in these chapters?

Are you kidding? This means when I get up to writing whole new chapters it'll be worse :]

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A Bar Full of Drunks

It was an almost normal night at the Naughty Ottsel, most of the well known characters were drunk and the plot holes were at a high.

Jak was drunkenly chasing Daxter around the room because he had stolen his morph gun, but was getting nowhere because he kept falling over.

Tess was playing the Pooh bear theme song really loudly on a juke box.

Praxis and Damas (A/N: even though they hate each other and are supposed to be dead) were singing Brittany Spears songs really loudly with a karaoke machine.

Erol (A/N: yep, another one that's meant to be dead) was wearing nothing but a pair of bright orange boxers that matched his hair and almost-knee-length, shiny, purple boots and was dancing randomly around the room.

Kleiver and Sig (A/N: do they even know each other?) were slurring out a song as they danced some random form of boot scooting.

Seem and Onin (A/N: again, I don't think they know each other) , with a drunken Pecker translating were discussing foot rot.

A bunch of precursor monks, led by Brutter were, you guessed it, drunk. They had their arms linked and kept can canning past the door as they made their way around the port, until Jinx blew them up.

Vegar, Krew (A/N:even though he's dead) and Rayn were in a corner as well, Krew took up the whole corner, not drunk and discussing world domination.

Samos walked in the door, already drunk and screamed "I LOVE THIS SONG!" and sat with Tess (A/N: who wasn't drunk by the way) to listen to the Pooh song.

Razor was on a pretend phone, apparently having a drunken conversation with Santa Clause.

Ashelin and Keira were drunkenly towel snapping a cowering and sober Vin,who somehow had his body back.

Edge, Cutter, Shiv, UR 86 and Mizo (A/N:shock horror! another one that's meant to be dead!) were drunkenly debating on how best to kill Razor because that would be easier than wondering what his accent was every time he spoke.

Mog and Grim (A/N: From that mission in JakII where you have to escort said two and Jinx down the sewers so they can blow up the statue of Mar) were getting chased by some random metelheads, KG bots, a crocodog and lurkers because they were bored and not very bright.

Metal Kor (A/N: back from the dead) was flying around drunkenly and crashing into random buildings while civilians from both haven and spargus ran around because that's what they do best (A/N:have you ever noticed that all the civilians ever do is walk around aimlessly? must all be insomniacs...)

Back in Sandover all the characters from the first game, including the flut Flut and the muse, were doing the same things but the author was too lazy to write it in detail.

Finished! Well chapter one anyway.

Please review, but this is my first fic after reading them for 2 years so please be nice. tell me if I missed a character, cause I feel like adding them all in, don't worry, Torn's in the next chapter which is where the story will get better :) also I just realised that I missed the precursors so I'll have to add them in some where...

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EDIT: Looks like I was always a review whore... good feedback will make me edit and re-post faster!