Note: This started to be just a small story of what I think Alice went through before becoming a vampire until she met the Cullens but as I wrote it started getting very long so I figured I should divide it into two parts. So this is the first part of it and I will post the second one as soon as I finish which is almost but I still have to write the ending and change some things. I hope you like this first part and I'll post the other one soon enough! If anyone reads it let me know what you think, thank you!!

Paper Planes

"Mamma, I dreamt papa was dying in a smoky field, there was a flash …"

"Shh… It's all right Alice, it was only a nightmare, everything is all right, and daddy will be home soon."

But he wasn't… He wouldn't be coming home... My mother got a letter a few days later telling her husband had died in the battle field. It was 1917 and the First World War had taken the life of my father. After that letter my mother didn't talk to me for a month. She wouldn't even look at me straight after what had happened. I couldn't understand what I had done, how could have I? I was only a nine year old child… How could I have realized what was happening? My mother said I was cursed. I think she was afraid of me… Every time I told her what happened in my "dreams" she would block out everything I had said as if I really didn't tell her anything. Her response was "Come now child, enough with the nonsense." I suppose she never got over the fact she had a "mal-functioning daughter" as I sometimes heard her saying to her friend Carla who once in a while stopped by our house, checking on my mother. She didn't want to believe I was different so she just pretended everything was all right. Until it started getting worse.

"Carla is having another baby."

"I will be sick on Friday."

"Mom be careful with the wind tomorrow, it will break your umbrella."

And I was always right.

"That is enough Alice! I can't take this anymore!" She had yelled at me once when I had reached the top of her patience. "I'm taking you to the doctor! This has got to stop!"

"But I just want to help you mom." The teenager Alice that I was replied back at her. I remember the expression on her face that day. Eyes wide open getting filled with tears, her lips trembling, cheeks turning red with fury. Why couldn't she understand me? Accept me as I was? I guess I couldn't blame her though. She had never had a tranquil childhood herself. Grandmother was always very strict with her. We were part of a middle class society that was never content with what they had. Granny pushed my mother to study hard to be someone important in society but my mother didn't want that for her life. She was happy just to be a tailor, making beautiful dresses for the rich ladies from the city, she was happy blending in with everyone else, a normal simple life. I suppose I was her biggest heart-break. I even think she was glad grandmother had died long before she discovered my sort of gift…

The next day she did take me to the doctor. As much as he examined me he would never find anything wrong with me, but that was because he could only examine the physical part of me. Until he suggested my mother to go somewhere further. He told her to take me to a mind doctor, a psychiatric doctor. He had told her only he could help my "disease". And that's exactly what she did. Every four o-clock after classes she would take me there for a session. They hypnotized me, something new at the time, they injected remedies in my blood, they talked to me, made me tests but the "dreams" and mostly premonitions continued. The constant feeling of knowing what was going to happen. I could have lied for them to stop doing all that they were doing to me, but I couldn't fool my mother, she noticed how I stopped walking seconds earlier a car had just passed a little too fast in the road I was walking on, how I would duck under a balcony every time someone was about to throw water from the window. She would grab my wrist tightly and drag me home furious those days.

When she thought there was nothing more they could do, word started to spread out. People started becoming curious until there was one day Carla told our little "secret" to someone who couldn't hold their tongue. People started avoiding us, those who didn't already, I guess they just needed that one confirmation, the excuse to do so. In school no one wanted to talk to me I was always alone. People pointed their fingers on the street saying "There goes the sick girl. Poor freak." That was the last drop to my mother. She could only see one solution. The asylum that stood just outside our village. I begged my mother not to put me in there. Oh how I begged her not to do it! But she was blind with shame for having such a different daughter. I considered running away but where would I go? I had no money of my own, nowhere to go, no family let alone friends… I was completely alone.

And now here I am, the day my mother is taking me to that horrible place. She dressed me in my prettiest dress, a dark red wool long sleeved dress with a thin black belt that has a ribbon on its front and hangs by the waist. She combed my neck-length short dark brown hair as if I was going to a party rather than where I was going… I felt ridiculous.

I don't know for how long I haven't eaten, or slept, my eyes feel sore from crying, my legs hurt as they slowly drag me down to the taxi-car waiting for us at the entrance of my little house. My mother doesn't even look at me as the taxi drives down the streets, out our village and I noticed emotionless as green fields of grass and white daisies extended in front of us. Tears started falling down my cheeks silently. Funny, I didn't know I still had any tears left. My skinny arms contract as my hands turn into tight fists on my knees. Minutes later the taxi comes to a stop. I finally look up, out the window to see the white palace I had known from one dream I had had a while ago. That was when I knew there was no turning back from the part of my mother. She was really taking me here, she was really leaving me here in a place they put people who are truly sick. But I wasn't sick, I just could do something no one understood. No one wanted to understand let alone accept it.

At the doubled green door at the top of a creamy marbled set of stairs, stood two men, I guessed they had been waiting for us. One of the two men anticipated coming down the stairs followed quickly by the other one. The first man to reach us startled me as I noticed his pale white statue-like skin. He had black hair and a deep golden pair of eyes that looked at me curiously. His posture was something I had never seen in a man. He was tall, well-defined in the arms and chest, his smile was warm and cordial as he extended his strong hand to shake my mother's who I noticed gasped at the handsome man. He looked like he was in his thirties, almost forties but was very well conserved. The other man following, compared to this first one, was a huge contrast. Short, wrinkled face and a beer-belly showing under his tight white shirt. An angel and a simple peasant. But this was no angels place, it was nightmarish as reality hit me again. I wasn't here to be happy.

"It is an honour to meet you." I noticed the angel-like man saying to my mother in a clear perfect voice. "We will take good care of your Alice there is no need to worry. Now if you please, Rudolf." He turned to the short man. "Take Miss Alice's bags from the car and take them to her room." That was it then. I started breathing heavily, panic taking over me. I had been in denial, now it was finally coming out.

"Please mother, don't do this to me." I turned to her, grabbing her shoulders tightly with my hands. Her eyes filled with tears as she looked away from me.

"It's what is best for you child." She didn't even look at me.

"Please don't leave me here I'm begging you." I reached for her attention but my voice broke as the sobs returned followed by tears. How could she do that to me? "I'm not ill, I am not!" I screamed in despair. I shook her shoulders with the little strength I still had. "Don't leave me here please mother!" I screamed again at the top of my lungs as I felt a pair of strong hands pulling me from my mother by my waist. I struggled to be free but the arms that held mine were stronger than what I had imagined or the tiredness was just reflecting on my body. I kicked and waved my arms madly as a last effort. I was having a panic attack, my chest hurt from the screaming, my limbs hurt from my struggling, I could feel the tears pouring down my eyes. I would never forgive my mother. But then suddenly I felt a cold sting on my arm and I started feeling my body numb and soon enough darkness took over.

When I opened my eyes I was lying on a single bed inside a very small white room… No… a white cell. The room was large enough for me to stretch my arms to the side. There was a tiny white wooden closet which I figured they had put my things in, not that I needed any of what I had brought here now. Despair hit me again. And another waked-dream started coming to my eyes, I stood still, closing my eyes, I didn't want to see anything else, I wanted to go out of that place, out of that prison. I shook my head holding my scream in my mouth, all I could think of is for those visions of the future to never appear again, but that was something I couldn't really control. This one was about a blond haired man, with eyes black as a shark and teeth sharp as a bat. What did it mean? Who was that? Someone close to the man that was outside when I got here? It had skin and eyes like his. No… the eyes in this one were mad. Was I going to meet him? One thing I knew, I couldn't tell anyone what I had seen afraid of what they would do to me. Suddenly I heard the door of the tiny room open and revealing the handsome man that must have brought me here.

"How are you feeling Alice?" He asked in a very gentle, concerned voice.

"I don't want to be here." My voice, I noticed was sore.

"You are here to get some help my dear." He sat besides me on the bed. "My name is Joseph and I am here for you."

"No you're not… I don't need help." I said and I couldn't evade the feeling of hate towards this man, this room, this whole place. There was a knot in my stomach making me even more uncomfortable. I struggled to keep the tears from falling.

"It's time for your session sweetheart. Will you accompany me?" The man sighed and I stood up automatically. What choice did I have? If I struggled they would probably drug me out of here again. The word "sweetheart" made my stomach revolve. How dared he?

I followed this Joseph close behind, through some long corridors filled with doors leading to more rooms like mine, the air smelled of medication and I felt so small as I walked. I imagined the people inside those rooms, people with real problems, with illnesses that wouldn't compare to mine or so I imagined. My visions were something I had never seen anywhere else. Tears took over my eyes as I walked and Joseph came to a stop almost making me bump into him as I followed. He turned to me and quickly enough I didn't have time to notice he held his finger on my cheek cleaning the tears threatening to go down my face. I looked up at him and saw a warm smile on his lips as he looked down at me. How could someone that looked so sweet be so evil to be doing this to me?

He took my hand in his and led me through a door at the end of some corridor we had crossed. I had time to realize how cold his hand felt. This room was bright with white lights and in the middle stood a chair in front of a desk on which it had a sort of squared machine filled with wires and buttons. A different man came inside the room and I noticed Joseph was gone. I didn't like this one "doctor" a bit. He made me sit on the chair and wired me to the machine. Blackout.

I simply cannot describe what happened next, it was a pain like nothing I have ever felt before in my life. Back in my room I curled my body in my bed and looked blankly at the darkness. I had no feelings that moment, I was just a body lying there. No joy, no sense of touch, no hate, no hunger, no thirst. Nothing. The feeling of being electrocuted was now long past and it only left a numbness. All I could think of is I'd rather be dead.

The following days were exactly as the first one I had passed here with only the difference that I hadn't had anymore of those visions I came here with. I figured all the stuff they were torturing me with was being successful after all. There was a constant ringing in my head that would in fact drive me crazy, but after so many days one starts getting used to it. I had this way to sooth it by filling my head of fantasies about being out of this place, in my home, in the streets, somewhere new, different from this nightmare. I knew they were frying my brain, destroying my memories, I hated being in here. I dragged myself everyday, I was loosing my strength, also my throat hurt from the screams.

I heard the door knob opening and with some effort to lift my head I struggled to look at whoever was coming inside. Joseph… That was the first time I saw him after that one time he had left me in that horrible room. How long has it been?

"Would you like to join me for a walk in the garden?" His voice soothed my ears.

"Are you going to trick me again?" Just talking made me tired.

"I'm sorry the other day I left you…" And he sounded like he really meant it but I was still suspicious. I made an extra effort to rise to my feet and he helped me with his hands holding my back. As soon as my feet reached the floor, my head felt heavy, dizzy and I stumbled out of that room leaning on him.

The garden was a very pleasant place to be in. Sometimes they took their long-time patients to take a walk in that garden, to catch some fresh air when they were well-behaved. It was enormous, full of red roses in dark green bushes. Tall pine trees stood majestically surrounding it like big green walls and there was a big round marbled fountain splashing water in the very middle of it on the grassy ground. We walked slowly side by side following the dirt path that circled around the rose bushes until it reached the fountain where some wooden benches stood around it. It was quite as I heard the birds chirping from tree to tree, a refreshing breeze blew and I felt my lungs opening healthily at the taste of fresh air. I was loosing track of the days, it felt that I hadn't been outside for months now, which was probably true. I noticed the sky was filled with grey clouds and the air was cold. Too bad… I wanted to see the sun.

"I am truly sorry for what you have been through these days Alice." Joseph spoke, looking tenderly at my reckless face.

"I don't belong here Joseph!" It was the first time I had said his name out loud. "I didn't belong in my life before coming here too, but this place is just too much! I don't fit in anywhere!"

"I know what it is like to feel out of place." He seemed sincere as he looked down at the ground, not smiling.

"I'm not sick…" I pleaded.

"Your mother told us the reason you were coming here for of course." Joseph looked into my eyes. "But I would like to know from you."

"Can you believe I almost don't remember my mother's face?" I sort of laughed at the thought. What they were doing to me was not helping at all. They were burning my brain. As he asked me that I wondered if I should tell the truth… I wondered if he would think then that I really was crazy, but something in him was telling me that I could trust this man. I hesitated but then realized I had nothing to lose, I wouldn't want to see my mother ever again if there was a slight chance to leave this place. "At first I didn't understand… But as the years passed… I realized I could see the future in these dreams I have. They are like images of what's going to happen, but they appear very foggy, very faint, that's why it mostly looks like a dream. Most of them really do happen days later. Others just get lost I don't know. Sometimes I have premonitions, it's a strong feeling of something about to happen so I just act accordingly. It's out of my control, I can't block it." I looked up at him trying to guess what he was thinking. He kept his head down lost in his own thoughts… No, he didn't think I was crazy I could tell. "Do you believe in me?" I dared to ask.

"You know Alice, there are things in this world we can't explain. Things beyond what we are taught, beyond comprehension itself. There are a lot of special people out there with powers one could not believe it is true. You are one of them sweetheart, you are very special Alice. But some are luckier than you. I'm sorry you were born in a time things like that are seen like something not from… here." He spoke like he understood me.

"Then why do you make them do those horrible things to me?" I whispered sadly.

"It will be over my dear. I won't let them do that again. I can see you have improved very much." He smiled winking. "I have something to show you." He said pulling something from the pocket of his white overall-coat. He opened his hand to show me a little airplane made of a white piece of paper. I smiled as I looked carefully at it. He lifted it in his hand and threw it in the air where it circled for a few seconds until it finally hit the ground with its front.

Joseph did keep his word. I started noticing the days passing by more like if I was really living it other than just letting them pass by me. They stopped electrocuting me everyday but now and then they made some tests and even more rarely they would do the electric experiences again. Just a precaution as they had explained. The screaming wouldn't stop though. I woke up most of the nights with eyes wet and screaming for my life. My reflection in the mirror was getting thinner, whiter, it disgusted me how weak I looked like. I still lived in a tiny cell, but the best part of my days were the long walks me and Joseph took outside, talking about life and what he did before coming to work in this hell hole. Every once in a while I granted him with a laugh or a wider smile at some joke he'd told me. I couldn't tell I liked being there, of course I didn't but it was turning bearable as long as Joseph kept me sane. I started looking up at him like an older brother. He was good though I sensed something different in him. He wasn't like the other people I had known, he was strange. He didn't fit in with the others, like me.

"Joseph, you have a visitor." A voice came from behind us and we both turned to see who it was. Like an angel of death I saw him standing there with a smirk crossing his lips. I recognized very faintly the face that looked toward Joseph with his black deadly eyes. The man I saw in my last vision the day I was put in here. A shiver made my body shake as the piercing black eyes turned slowly in my direction and he inhaled heavily, smiling of pleasure as he did. Next thing I knew, Joseph covered my body behind his with arms stretched as the blond-haired man glided towards us in a crouching position, his white teeth showing threateningly. Silently and gently it started raining.

- End of part one