Just a random drabble with thoughts from Skye about the team, her new abilities and Coulson. Leaning heavily towards unrequited Skye/Coulson so you've been warned! The style of writing is similar to my Sousa fic, Stars on Fire. I like to write these, I suppose. If any AoS fans haven't seen Agent Carter they should! It was so good!

Potential spoilers up until 2x14 "Love in the Time of Hydra." It's my first AoS fic, sorry if anyone is OOC.

Some part of her was broken. Fitz had explained it to her, with input from Simmons. She was different, not like Captain America or Hulk. She was changed, but whatever she was, she'd always been it. There was no super soldier serum or gamma radiation, there was only her and parents that weren't entirely human, if they were even the smallest amount. Fitz, sweet Fitz had insisted that she was still the same, that he looked at her no differently. And boy, did she want to believe him. She wanted to with every fiber of her being. But his initial reaction had betrayed him, his initial horror at the change in her. He might look at her with very similar regard, but she also knew that despite his own accident, he pitied her. Just as he hated what he'd become, lost an essential part of what made him so brilliant. She'd lost some of her exuberance, the eager part of her nature to learn anything new. Now she wished she'd never heard of aliens or Avengers.

May hid her feelings well. She remained the same, encouraging and collected until Skye almost didn't see the slight tremor of her fingers when they trained together. Completely giving away that even if May wasn't afraid, she was uncertain of how to handle her. Just when Skye had been certain that she could look for May for support, that the woman could handle anything that was thrown at her. She could, almost, just not the girl that had been thrown at her, who threatened to rock the ground under their feet whenever she felt the least bit upset. And feeling upset was an understatement at this point. She felt lost in feelings and emotions she was forced to suppress. She was cursed by her own body, unable to feel anything more than forced calm, lest she bring the roof down on their heads.

Bobbi and Mack both viewed her with a veiled suspicion, their friendly demeanor did nothing to hide the fact they'd been willing to let her go with Sif, even with Bobbi's refusal to take a side. She'd always been friendly with them, and the goodwill had been reciprocated, but they couldn't seem to handle her abilities. Not as well as Fitz. And Simmons had been warmer lately, but Skye had feared initially that she would have led the movement to put her away for good, or put her down. She hadn't wanted to believe it from her friend, but Fitz's concerns had seemed well-founded. Now their relationship was strained, but mending.

The only person Skye seemed to be able to look at without an ounce of changed emotion was Coulson. He'd been reserved lately, far too lost in his own head. She'd feared telling him the most. He'd recruited her, made her feel welcome, made her happy to be a part of something. His drive for the greater good had inspired her and she'd looked up to him almost from the moment they met. And after they'd struggled together through so much, she felt she could trust him implicitly, even when he hid things from her. She was afraid to see that disappear, to see him look at her with suspicion or revulsion. It was more than a relief when she found he was in her corner 100%, willing to fight for her and proving it more than once. He was her friend, her family, and to her rising horror, he was also the man she was starting to fall for.

The first time she'd looked on Coulson with more than affection, with a stirring of curiosity, she'd shut the thought down with shocked embarrassment. He was older than her, old enough to be her father. But she just didn't see him that way. Her feelings for Ward had been almost immediate with an awareness of an attraction to him from the moment they'd met. But with the reveal of his dual nature, and his twisted obsession with her she'd been immediately turned off of him. Maybe there were woman who found his devotion cute, or heartwarming despite his traitorous actions, she found it disturbing. She could still admit he was handsome, and still see some of the same qualities she'd fallen for. But he wasn't what she'd thought he was, wasn't what she wanted or needed. She figured when she shot him, he'd gotten the message loud and clear.

Coulson had remained much the same in his treatment of her. He'd always shut her out of the more secretive stuff, citing clearance. But she was used to it, even if she didn't agree with it. Even if she was a little jealous of May, who he seemed to confide in the most.

They'd grown closer despite the nightmare they currently found themselves in. They'd shared their thoughts and fears and hopes in the guise of offhand conversation. And he'd never been afraid of offering comfort in her darkest moments. Surely he was an odd Director in that capacity. She'd never met Nick Fury in person, but she'd heard the stories. The man was known to be a hardass and secretive and very...alone. He seemed to trust no one but a select few, and even they knew only bits and pieces, never the whole story. The life he lived seemed lonely more than anything.

That Coulson was so concerned with the welfare of his people warmed her heart. Despite his aloof nature recently during some of their conversations, she also shared moments with him of complete levity. He made her laugh with a lame joke and he shared more and more of himself with every passing month. And he held her when she cried, soothing her with words of support. He didn't seem to care that she was different. He didn't seem to care that she was once Daisy. To him, she'd always been Skye, despite the change in her biology. And she needed the reassurance that he would never leave her behind. He called her family and the thought warmed her, just as much as it disgruntled.

May, Simmons, Fitz, Tripp, even Hunter. They were her family. He was so much more. He was the hope that she could overcome this. He didn't offer false platitudes. He didn't lie to her, and he knew the possible consequences of continuing to shelter her. He offered strength when she threatened to falter under the pressure of keeping herself in check.

She loved him for it. For his sweet smile, for the crease that formed between his brows when he concentrated. She loved him for his attachment to Lola and the simple joy he took just from driving her. For the burden he took on himself to ensure their safety. For the times he held her close without reservation, when he assured her that they would figure this out, that he would return to her side no matter what. He meant the team, he would always return to his team, always care for them above himself. But secretly she imagined that he meant her. That his devotion was hers, solely hers.

She dreamed of days when the entire world hunted her down. But Coulson and the team were beside her in every one, fighting by her side as she tore the world apart. She always woke when he died, when the trembling in her limbs spread, when cities shook from her fear and anguish. She always woke when she'd killed them all with her lack of control. Simmons, Fitz, May, Hunter, even Bobbi and Mack. But it was always Coulson who died last. Coulson who reached for her in their last moments, when his words of reassurance were not enough. When the arms he wrapped around her could not shield her from what she'd done. She supposed the only thing she could at least be grateful for was that she died with him. And the morbid thought was not one that brought her any comfort.

She didn't want to die. Just because her life had suddenly become more difficult than she could have ever imagined. She wanted to live to see Fitz regain his confidence, to see Ward finally put down, to see Simmons overcome the fear inspired by Raina's transformation and subsequent carnage. She wanted to see May smile, laugh, be silly and finally let go of the demons that haunted her past. She wanted to see Coulson look at her the way he'd looked at the cellist, with longing. Without the regret and resignation. Because she understood the danger of their world, and she only wanted to help him shoulder the burden. If he was hers, there was no way in hell she was letting him go.

At most, he might feel a fatherly affection for her, a familial love that fueled his protective urges. But Skye wanted more. She wanted the right to call him Phil, like she did in her dreams, in her head, until the name was on the tip of her tongue when she addressed him. She wanted the right to touch him whenever she damn well pleased. To massage his shoulders when he was tense, to hold his hand when they walked, to kiss him until the nerves in her stomach turned into a slow burn and an ache for his hands on her. She wanted to wake up beside him, to hear every doubt he had and reassure him of his own worth, both as a man and a Director.

For now all she had was an affable smile, a rare laugh. She had his protection and trust as an agent, his agent. She had his friendship and regard. The rest could wait. Until she was more than a mess of contradictions, until she gained true control. She'd learned one thing from this. Life was short. Too short not to go after what she wanted. She could only hope that Coulson would agree.

As you could possibly tell, I'm not too pleased with Mack and Bobbi right now, and I was never a huge fan of Ward. I respected the potential relationship between Skye and Ward but now I'm hoping that doesn't happen. Sorry if that offends anyone. :p

Thanks for reading.