When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you
If your heart is in your dream
No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
As dreamers do…
Jiminy Cricket, Pinocchio.
She let him drive, at least part of the way. He has never driven outside of LA and she thought it was good practice for him, despite the fact that his driving was more dangerous than a psychopath with a loaded gun. She cursed herself inwardly for that decision when he changed the lanes too quickly in order to avoid hitting a deer. She should have brought a helmet.
"Rusty, why don't you pull over and let me drive for a while," It wasn't really a question and Rusty knew it. "You've been driving for nearly two and a half hours and there are at least three more. You should let yourself rest and enjoy the view." Rusty didn't argue and he pulled over by the side of the road and switched seats with her.
"Remind me again why we're doing this?" he asked as he buckled his seatbelt. Sharon started the car.
"It's a vacation, Rusty. It's gonna be fun." Sharon said. She thought it would be a change of atmosphere for him and that he might enjoy some fresh air and an activity that didn't involve staring at a screen.
"But why can't we go somewhere else, like maybe New York City, and stay at a real hotel and go see real places? Why do we have to go camping in the woods?"
"It's not just woods, Rusty. Devils Postpile is a beautiful national park and there are many activities that we can do there. There are amazing hiking trails and a breathtaking view, and there are falls. We could go swimming."
"I don't swim, Sharon," Rusty retorted.
"Okay, then don't swim. There are plenty of other things that we can do there together," Sharon replied.
"Whatever you say; you'll probably get called in before the day is over anyway."
"I won't get called in, Rusty. Lieutenant Provenza is covering me. I have the entire weekend off and therefore we will not be disturbed." Rusty secretly hoped that she would be called into work instead, so this so-called vacation will be cut short.
Three hours later, when Sharon parked the car at a parking spot at the camping site, she could hear Rusty's stomach rumbling. She was glad that she packed some sandwiches before they left the house and she now pulled a ham and cheese sandwich from the food hamper and handed it to Rusty.
"You can wait here and eat while I go and look for a good spot to build our camp," she said as she started walking down the trail. Rusty looked around him as he chewed his sandwich and leaned against the trunk of the car. He could hear birds chirping and he was almost tempted to whistle and see if any birds responded to him. But then he had to remind himself that this vacation was a stupid idea and that there were places far more exciting than Devils Postpile that he preferred to visit. With that thought, he angrily sank his teeth into the sandwich.
Sharon came back a few minutes later with a wide smile on her face and announced that she found the perfect place for them to build their camp. Rusty has never seen her so excited before and he really had no idea what about this place was so thrilling. But he helped her carry the camping equipment from the car to their would-be camp.
He wasn't sure what about that particular spot in the woods made Sharon so excited, but he shrugged. It didn't matter, because camping vacations were not fun, even if Sharon said so.
"Come here, Rusty, we're gonna set up the tent first." Sharon said. She pulled out the tent, some metal poles and other odd equipment out of a bag and took a grey sheet. "Do you know how to build a tent?" she asked. Rusty shrugged. "Okay, it's really easy. This is the ground cloth, you put it under your tend to avoid humidity from the ground, such as rain or dew to go into the tent through the floor. Help me spread it." Sharon took two corners of the cloth and Rusty took the other two and they placed it on the ground, right under a tree. Then Sharon took the tent and spread it open. "Now, we want the doorway to be facing to this side, so we'll place the tent on the ground cloth like this," she turned the tent so the doorway was directed away from the tree. "The poles are next. We put them together and form an X shape on top of the tent. Then we hook them on the little hooks there, like this. You see?" Rusty looked closely at what Sharon was doing and followed on the opposite end of the tent. "Now we put the rain cover. There shouldn't be any rain tonight, but it's gonna keep away dew from entering the tent." She showed Rusty how to place and hook the rain cover to the poles and then handed him some of the stakes and showed him how to put them in the ground. "Now you can go and set up our sleeping bags. I'm sure these are gonna be easy for you to figure out," she said and handed him two sleeping bags. Rusty went inside the tent and Sharon started setting up rocks for the campfire and placed a couple of folding lawn chairs in front of it. Rusty came out of the tent and took a seat in one of the chairs. "I'm gonna go to gather some wood for the bonfire. There are soda and snacks in the cooler. You can have some, but don't eat all of it." Sharon said before leaving the camp to go and collect some wood.
It took a while until she came back again, carrying a few logs (where did she get these, Rusty wondered) and some smaller twigs and wood. She put the wood down and was about to go out of their camp to gather some more when Rusty noticed a nasty red mark that spread from the back of her hand and downwards towards her wrist. It looked swollen and painful.
"What happened to your hand?" he asked.
"It's just a bug bite, don't worry about it. I'll be back in a few…"
"What normal bug bite looks like that?" Rusty jumped up of his seat and dragged her towards one of the chairs.
"Rusty, it's nothing to worry about. I've got bitten before. I'll put some ice on it later and it's gonna be just fine," Sharon argued.
"What if it was a venomous bug or if you are having an allergic reaction? You could, like, go into shock and die!" Rusty declared.
"Rusty, please relax and try to have fun here," she tried to divert the subject of conversation. She knew that Rusty didn't know the outdoors as well as she did, and trying to take care of her bite was probably his way of gaining control of the situation.
"It looks bad," Rusty said as he took her hand and examined it.
"Yeah, it's not the highlight of my day, but I'll survive. I promise you that some ice will reduce the swelling and it will be just fine.
"Did you bring your EpiPen with you here?" Rusty asked.
"I brought two, actually, but Rusty, unless I come in contact with peanuts, I should not have an allergic reaction to anything."
"What if it was a peanut eating bug?" Rusty's ridiculous theory made Sharon smile.
"I'm sure it wasn't," Sharon sighed.
"Maybe you should use the EpiPen anyway, you know, just in case?" Rusty offered.
"Honey, look at me. I'm fine, and I have experienced enough allergic reactions in my life to know that this is just a normal bug bite and that it's not life threatening. However, the EpiPen is in my backpack, on the small outside pocket and if I feel any symptoms of an allergic reaction, I'll use it. If for some reason I won't be able to use it myself, you know how to work it, and you will inject it to me and then call 911, okay?" Rusty nodded in a way that reminded Sharon of a dashboard puppy. "So now, I'm going to gather more wood," she said and got up but Rusty stopped her again.
"Take your EpiPen with you? Just in case, you know."
"You sound like my mother, Rusty," she sighed and took one EpiPen out of her backpack. "Happy now?" she asked as she shoved it into her pocket.
"You could be nicer about it, but yeah," Rusty replied. Sharon walked over to him and kneeled down next to his chair.
"Rusty, I'm sorry if I offended you. I just really want you to enjoy this vacation. I promise you that this place is very safe and so are the bugs, even the ones that bite." She offered him an apologetic smile and patted his shoulder. Rusty smiled; it was a fake smile, but it was enough for Sharon at this moment. "Do you wanna come with me, maybe?" She really preferred that he would stay and watch their camp, but if he wished to join her, she wouldn't dare to say no to him.
"No, I think I'll just stay here and have a soda, if you don't mind. Just, don't take too long, okay? So I'll know you're not dying somewhere in the woods."
"Fair enough," Sharon replied and patted on his shoulder again. "I'll be back soon."
When Sharon came back to the camp again, carrying some more woods, Rusty was trying to get some reception on his phone and seemed to be increasingly frustrated that he couldn't. Sharon put the pile of woods next to the one she gathered earlier and smiled at him.
"Would you like me to teach you how to light a bonfire?" Sharon offered. Rusty put his phone back in his pocket and got up. Sharon showed him how to set the woods and then took a lighter out of her pocket and lighted a piece of old newspaper, gently shoving it into the middle of the wood stack. "See? It's really easy and if you think you could, then you'll be lighting the fire tomorrow."
"How do you know how to do all these stuff?" Rusty wondered as they both sat back in the lawn chairs.
"Most of my children's friends went on camping trips during the summer vacation. It was usually their fathers who took them; so I decided that despite the fact that their father is gone my kids will also get to go on a camping trip. I read 'Camping for Dummies', packed up all the things and off we went. It turned out the only good thing that came out of 'Camping for Dummies' was the fact that I could use the paper to light the campfire," Sharon grinned. "But we met a nice family at the campsite and they taught me everything I needed to know about camping and it was easier in the next few years."
"And Jack never joined you in any of these trips?" Rusty asked, knowing that he was probably hitting a nerve with his question.
"Unfortunately, Jack has missed out most of Ricky and Hayley's childhood, so no; he never joined us," Sharon replied.
"That must be tough," was all Rusty could say.
"Well, you know. It's Jack's loss; he missed every smile, every step, every milestone and I got to be there and enjoy it, all of it." Rusty could hear the smile in her voice, even though he could barely look at her as she reminisced. "I think, I really think that he is proud of them, and loves them, in his own way, but maybe he just wasn't cut out to be a father or a husband." Sharon's voice took a more painful tone, but the smile remained on her face.
"I still don't get why you're not divorcing him," Rusty said, knowing that he was walking on thin ice with his comment.
"It's getting late, Rusty. We need to start making dinner," Sharon called out in a perky voice that sounded fake even to her own ears. Rusty had to admit to himself that this sort of reaction was anticipated; Sharon usually shut down whenever he tried to ask about her marriage. "So, I thought we could eat baked potatoes," Sharon smiled as she pulled out four potatoes from the food hamper and handed them to Rusty. Then she walked over to where she placed her backpack earlier and came back a moment later with a roll of tin foil and a metal wire.
"What are you gonna do with this?" Rusty stared at the items she held in her hand.
"I'll show you," Sharon smiled triumphantly, happy that she finally had a chance to engage Rusty in the secrets of camping. "You take a sheet of tin foil and wrap it around each potato," she took one potato from him and demonstrated what he had to do, then handed him the tin foil. Rusty followed her actions. It wasn't really rocket science and he finished wrapping the remaining potatoes in the crisp and rustling foil. "Excellent!" Sharon called out with a wide smile that exposed her teeth. Rusty thought it was a little scary and wondered if she completely lost her mind for some reason, or if she was on something. "Now, we simply pierce each potato with the wire and sliding it all the way through, so it forms sort of a potato necklace." Once again, she did the first one and let Rusty do the others.
"I don't have to wear this like some wild person, do I?" he asked as he tried to slide the first potato down the wire, finding that it's a little harder than he thought.
"Well, that could be a very interesting fashion statement," Sharon grinned and pretended to consider the idea. Rusty made a face and she let out a soft giggle. The sound made a warm feeling spread inside Rusty's stomach. He didn't get to hear Sharon laugh very often. He did once, when Jack came over and then once when she spoke to Ricky on the phone, but in those two times, she never sounded truly carefree as she did now. After sliding the remaining potatoes down the wire he looked up to Sharon for more directions. She took the two ends of the wire and crossed them, quickly winding them around each other, until it really did look like a necklace. "And now, you grab a wood that's not too thick and not too thin and we will place it on the ground inside the bonfire," she instructed and Rusty did as she said.
"And now what?" He looked at her again.
"Now we wait until the potatoes are ready and until then, we will make a smaller bonfire for food that needs gentler cooking," Sharon said and started placing some rocks in a square, and then she placed a metal net over it that seemed very similar to the one from the grill in their balcony at the condo. "There's a mesh bag tied to my backpack; can you please bring it over?" she asked and Rusty quickly went into their tent and fetched the bag. It was heavier than he expected and he wondered how Sharon even carried whatever it was. He placed it next to her as she stacked some wood between the rocks. He could clearly see that this bonfire would be smaller. She thanked him and quickly opened the mesh bag, quickly pulling a metal 'thing' out of it and started taking it apart.
"Hey, that's kinda cool," Rusty called out as he realized it was a cookware kit. When Sharon finished taking apart all the items, there were 8 pieces of cookware in different sizes as well as a wooden soup spoon and a sponge. It even included a small dishtowel. "So what are we gonna cook?"
"We're gonna heat up some baked beans and grill some corn," Sharon replied as she took a can of beans and a nylon-wrapped package of corn out of the food hamper.
Cooking dinner over the fire didn't sound like and exciting activity, and in many ways it wasn't, but Rusty had always enjoyed cooking and learning new and creative cooking and grilling methods was quite thrilling for him. He had to admit that the food tasted so much better when it was grilled or baked in a bonfire. He never tasted potatoes with such a rich flavor in his life and the grilled corn was divine.
Night has fallen while they ate their dinner. The sounds of nature around them became stronger as the darkness took over the forest and Rusty found that he was a little scared. He watched Sharon as she roasted some marshmallow over the fire; she was quiet and seemed to be deep in thought.
"Sharon?" Rusty asked as he brought one knee to his chest and rested his chin on it. She hummed in response. "I'm sorry that I said this is stupid. I'm actually having fun here."
"I'm glad to hear that, Rusty," Sharon did not move her gaze from the fire. She brought the marshmallow out of the fire and gently squeezed it between the tips of her fingers, to check if it was ready. Then she handed it to Rusty. "Don't eat it yet," she said, her voice quiet. She reached for the food hamper and pulled a package of graham crackers and a chocolate bar. She quickly unwrapped the packaging of both the chocolate bar and the graham crackers. Then she laid down a few graham crackers on one of their dinner plates and split the chocolate bar in a few pieces, placing every piece on top of one graham cracker. She then took the marshmallow stick from Rusty and finished putting together s'mores. She handed the plate to Rusty.
"That looks delicious enough to be considered a mortal sin," Rusty joked. He could see the way Sharon's lips curved upwards, the light from the fire playing across her face. He took one s'more from the plate and quickly devoured it, then took another one. "I don't think I ever ate s'mores," he said as he licked the sticky remnants of marshmallow off his fingers.
"You can have more, but don't eat too much, because it's gonna make you feel sick," Sharon's voice was soft. She leaned back against her chair and closed her eyes. Rusty watched her, wondering if she fell asleep. He leaned back, his chair squeaking under his weight and stared into the fire. After a few minutes, he looked at her again.
"Sharon," he said.
"Shhh, don't talk, Rusty," Sharon said. "Just close your eyes and listen." Rusty did as he was told and waited a minute. He heard the rustling of the leaves and the crackling of the wood in the bonfire, but nothing more.
"I don't hear anything," he said quietly. He heard Sharon shift in her chair and opened his eyes. She looked at him and smiled.
"Just close your eyes and listen very very carefully. And tell me what you hear," she said. Rusty closed his eyes again and listened. He heard his own breath first and also Sharon's. He inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. "I hear crickets," he said after a prolonged moment. Sharon hummed. "Frogs…" he listened even closer. He heard a series of squeaks from afar. "What kind of animal makes this noise?"
"What kind of noise?" Sharon asked. Rusty imitated the high pitched squeaks he heard. "Bats," she replied.
"Bats? You mean, like Dracula?" Rusty opened his eyes and looked at her with panic. Sharon smiled.
"They don't turn into humans, no," she replied.
"But don't they drink blood?"
"No," Sharon grinned. "They eat fruits and small insects."
"Are you sure?" Rusty still looked worried.
"I'm positive. But if you happen to see one, don't touch it. They sometimes carry diseases," she said. Rusty nodded slowly. "Okay, now what else do you hear?" Rusty closed his eyes again and listened. He heard a lot of noises and he tried to identify each of them. It took a while for him when he finally realized what Sharon wanted him to listen to. It was a penetrating howl from a distance.
"Is this a wolf?" he opened his eyes and looked at her.
'It's a coyote, there aren't any wolves around here," Sharon replied. "It's not the kind of stuff you hear in the city, huh?"
"Yeah," Rusty replied. Sharon leaned back again and looked upwards. Rusty did the same. The tree branches swayed in the night wind and he could see the starry sky through them. "I've never seen so many stars in my life," he said.
"It's beautiful, isn't it?" Sharon asked. Rusty nodded slowly. "You know, sometimes when I can't sleep at night, I go out to the balcony and watch the stars, but in the city it's hard to see them very clearly, because of the smog and the light pollution."
"I never noticed you walked around the house at night," Rusty looked at her, wondering what kind of thoughts made her lose sleep.
"That's because you sleep like a log," she replied, her voice playful.
"Not always. Sometimes it takes me time to fall asleep," Rusty said. Sharon turned her head to look at him and then turned her gaze back to the sky. Silence spread between them, and all they could hear was the voices of the nature, the crackling wood in the bonfire and each other's breaths.
"Rusty, make a wish," Rusty was sure that the grasshoppers, frogs and bats went quiet when Sharon spoke.
"Why?" he asked. Sharon stretched her hand and pointed at the sky.
"A shooting star," she replied, her voice soft. Rusty looked at where she was pointing and could see a glowing ball with a tail of light crossing the sky. He looked at it in awe and thought of the things he could wish for. He wanted so many things, but what he truly wanted the most was to be happy. So he wished for happiness, and then included Sharon in his wish, because he really wanted her to be happy too. And then he made a wish on behalf of his mother; he wished she would be safe, and stop using drugs; he wished for her to come back; he wished to hug her again. The shooting star disappeared from sight. "Are you okay, Rusty?" Sharon touched his shoulder lightly.
"I'm fine," he replied, realizing that tears were rolling down his face. "My eyes are just a little dry." Sharon looked at him knowingly, but didn't say anything for a while. Her hand remained on his shoulder, her thumb rubbing back and forth as if to soothe him.
"You know, I've been thinking lately," she broke the silence. "You're going to turn 18 soon, and I wondered if you would consider legally becoming part of my family." Sharon thought long and hard on how and when to approach the subject. She felt that taking him camping would be a good opportunity to bring it up. Rusty looked at her for a moment, trying to grasp the meaning of her words.
"You mean you want to adopt me?" he asked.
"Yes, I do," Sharon replied, her voice thick with emotion. Rusty stared at her for a moment and then got up from his chair and started pacing around the bonfire. Sharon watched him quietly and could feel her heart pounding violently in her chest and the way her blood ran through her veins. "You don't have to answer now. You can take some time to think about it," she said. Rusty walked back and forth, the expression on his face a mix of confusion and anxiety. After several minutes of pacing, he stopped and looked into her eyes. His eyes looked dark in the firelight and his gaze was strained.
"Why do you wanna do this?" his voice shook.
"Because I care about you deeply, the same way I care about Ricky and Hayley, and I feel that you are an integral part of my family…" She was unable to read the expression that spread across Rusty's face.
"So if I say yes to this, you're gonna become my mother?" Rusty's voice was breathy and Sharon could hear the tears in his voice.
"Legally, I will become your mother," Sharon replied, her tone measured.
"And what happens to my mom then?" Rusty replied. "What does she become?" his emotions were getting the better of him and he found it difficult to control his voice.
"She will always be considered your biological mother, but legally, she will no longer be your mother. Being adopted is mostly a technicality, Rusty and I want you to know that even if you say no, I will still love you just as much as I do now." Sharon said, trying to rein her own emotions. Rusty looked at her, his watery gaze piercing through her. Her eyes were full of shadows, her expression dark and cryptic.
"There's something you're not telling me," he said.
"Well, I'm not sure it's relevant to you," Sharon replied.
"It can't be irrelevant to me; you want me to be your son, so you have to tell me everything about what's gonna happen if I agree to this," Rusty protested.
"Okay," Sharon sighed and stared into the fire for a brief moment. She had tears in her eyes when she turned back to look at him. "Legally, I cannot adopt you on my own. Since I am married, Jack will need to be involved in the decision and sign the adoption papers."
"What? No!" Rusty looked at her angrily. "I don't want Jack deciding on me. I might as well go and live with my mother."
"Wait, let me finish," Sharon said, her voice low. "As long as we are married, I cannot make this decision without Jack's signature, so if you say yes, I will file for divorce. Jack and I have already spoken about this and he will sign the divorce papers and won't give me any trouble."
"You don't sound happy about that," Rusty said.
"Rusty, my marriage, as bad as it might have been, means a lot to me. I never gave up hope that someday Jack and I will be able to work out things between us. You also need to understand that this marriage is the only way I can ever get Jack to stay in touch with my children. I will only get a divorce if you say yes to adoption."
"Do you think you and Jack will really get back together one day?" Rusty didn't dislike Jack, but he didn't quite like him either.
"Probably not," the pained expression on Sharon's face was enough to tell Rusty that this was hard for her to admit, and that she was running on empty dreams in that aspect of her life.
"Will I have to change my name? And call you 'Mom'?" Rusty sat down in the chair next to her.
"If we will manage to complete the adoption process before you turn 18, your surname will change, and you will legally be known as Rusty Clarke, that's my maiden name. If you will already be 18 when the process is complete, you will be able to choose whether to change your name or leave it as it is. In any case, a new birth certificate will be issued to you, which will list me as your mother," Sharon paused and looked into the fire for a brief moment. "You will not have to call me 'Mom', unless it's something you're comfortable with and want to do."
"And what about Ricky and Hayley?"
"What about them?" Sharon asked, trying to understand what exactly bothered him.
"What if they're not gonna like me?" Rusty wondered.
"First of all, they already like you. But I know you didn't meet them yet. If any troubles arise between you and my other children, we will do our best to resolve them." Sharon watched the way his facial muscles relaxed and a calmer expression spread across his face.
"If my mom comes back, will I be able to see her?"
"Rusty, the choice of whether or not you would see your mother will be up to you. I will never forbid or prevent you from seeing her." Sharon placed her hand on his arm and caressed it softly.
"Then I think I would like that, Sharon," Rusty said, his voice thick. "I would really like for you to adopt me."
"Are you sure, Rusty?" her voice was soft and in the firelight, Rusty could see tears shining in her eyes.
"I am sure," he replied. Sharon leaned forward in her chair and wrapped her arms around him, her hand softly ruffling his hair. "Thank you, Sharon. You will never know how much I appreciate everything you've done for me."
"Rusty, you have no idea how much I appreciate your being in my life," he could feel her tears falling on the skin of his neck. "You are a wonderful person and I love you so much. Know that, okay?"
"I love you too, Sharon." Rusty said.
They remained in the embrace for a long time, and when they broke apart, they had no more words to say. Fatigue has slowly taken over them and they retreated to the tent, each of them crawling into his own sleeping bag. Sharon was the first to fall asleep and Rusty soon followed.
Under the stars, a mother and son slept in their tent, unaware of the Perseid shower that took place in the night sky, dotting it with radiant balls of light. It was a sight to behold, but Sharon and Rusty didn't need to watch it. Their wishes already came true.