Neville awoke to the sweet strains of his Grandmother's melodic shower voice.

Groggily, he opened his sleep-swollen eyes and beheld…something miraculous - a sight not for the faint of heart or those with weak constitutions or incontinence. He beheld…a jump rope.

But not just any jump rope. No, the jump rope Neville fraught with fear beheld was Day-Glo™ orange.

His heartbeat quickened as his grandmother's voice crescendoed.

"Grandma!" he cried, yanking the covers over his head, hoping to Merlin that the jump rope hadn't seen him.

"God, I hope she's not naked this time." he thought fearfully, pulling the sheets further over his head and squeezing his eyes shut.

"Don't worry Neville!" his grandmother's blessed voice rang out, "Grammy's coming!"

And with that she burst through his bedroom door, toweled and armed with a shower cap.

"What's wrong Nevvie? Did my Nevvie-kins have a nightmare?"

"Grandma, Look out for the Day-Glo™ orange jump rope! It's back! We cannot get out! Drums…drums in the deep."

"No more Lord of the Rings before bedtime, Neville darling," she sighed, obliviously closing the door on her way out. She just didn't understand.

They were alone now. Two souls trapped in the room together – with no Grandma to come save Neville.

They stared at each other ferocious beasts, each waiting for his adversary to make a false move. A deadly silence reigned supreme in the small unisex yellow room with tulip-patterned baseboard.

A war cry of previously vacuum-sealed rage rose up in Neville's scrawny adolescent chest.

"RAARGH!"

Neville threw first the pillow and then himself upon the Day-Glo™ Orange jump rope. Victory was at hand.

The Background music changed subtly from the Jaws theme to a slip-jig and a broad smile broke like a raw egg over Neville's features as he cackled maniacally, raising the jump rope over his head like a spoil of war.

Neville skipped down the hallway swinging his trophy over his head.

"Sausages and bacon, Neville darling?" his grandmother asked as he entered the kitchen.

"Yes, please Grandma!" he responded cheerfully.

THE END