Love and Acceptance
Garnet stands outside the tent, waiting.
No, not waiting. That implies that the conditions aren't right yet, or that some other factor is preventing her from acting. That is not true. The only thing holding her back right now is herself and her own uncertainties.
She's torn between the desire to stand stock still and also to pace back-and-forward restlessly.
Not literally, though. They're united in their intentions; Garnet's not going to fall apart that easily. That's what this is all about, after all.
She compromises, then, standing up straight and tall, arms crossed, face unreadable, with only a tapping foot and clenched fists betraying the roiling emotions inside.
The local star continues on it's course across the sky, beginning to dip vanish over the horizon. She must have been standing here for almost a fifth of this planet's day. Other Gems pass her, constantly. They glance at her when they pass, eyes wary. Garnet pretends to ignore them.
She wonders what they are thinking. Do they think she's being idle, refusing to lend a hand when there is so much to do? Do they think she ismeant to be at this post, acting as a guard? Do they think she is watching them, preparing reports?
Or are they merely taking a chance to goggle at the fusion?
Well, if they are, let them. She doesn't care what they think.
Much.
The Gems in the tent however- that's a different matter.
She knows what most of her kind will say. She is painfully aware of it, in fact. A couple centuries ago she- or rather, Sapphire and Ruby- thought the same thing. It's what everyone is told from incubation, after all. Fusion is a tool. Or a parlour trick. Or a dishonesty. Or a concession. Or an embarrassment. Or an abomination. The list goes on.
It isn't. Garnet knows this, in the very core of her being.
And surely, she can't be the only one who understands. Or could understand. That there are others, who feel the same way as her? And surely, if there is anyone else, it would be them? Those who were willing to lose everything to stand against the Homeworld and their prejudices? They must, because if not-
Garnet shakes her head, not letting her mind go down that path.
She could find out, if she really wanted. With her Future Vision, she could know, with almost completely certainty, how they will react. But her third eye remains firmly closed. She wants to do this in real time.
'Then go and do it,' some part of herself orders, and she's not sure which part.
Doesn't matter. Garnet stands taller; squares her shoulders; takes a deep breath. Strides forward, pulls open the tent flap, and finally enters.
Rose Quartz and Pearl are there. They are alone; of course they are, Garnet would have noticed if someone else had entered, after standing outside for so long. She's thankful, nonetheless. Everyone will know, sooner or later, and there are other Gems she wants to tell herself- but these two are the ones she wants to find out first.
The pair are deep in discussion. Over the table in the tent's centre hovers a three-dimensional holographic model of the planet, projected from Pearl's gem. She's standing next to Rose Quartz, murmuring quietly and gesturing at the hologram, her concentration intense. She does not even notice when Garnet enters.
Rose Quartz does, however; she turns to greet her, a smile briefly gracing her face. "Ah, there you are," she says, and motions for Garnet to come closer. "We require your advice. See here?"
"Hm," Garnet murmurs, as Rose points to various highlighted areas on the globe. She recognises them as marking different Warp Pad locations.
"We're thinking of launching an attack on the warp network," Rose Quartz explains, and Garnet feels herself being pulled into the discussion despite herself. "Knocking out their transport system would severely cut off their access to resources, crippling them. However, for such a plan to be successful, we would need the element of surprise. We would have to hit and destroy as many pads as possible simultaneously, and I want your advice on how thin we could reasonably spread ourselves-"
"And I'm saying that no matter how many warp pads we destroyed, the damage would be minimal," Pearl interrupts. Actually, truly interrupts. There was once a time where she would not speak unless spoken to. How bold she has become, growing out of the demure little thing she once was! "Their space fleet still vastly outmatches our own; we would be far worst impacted by the loss of Warp Pads than they would. I suggest a single, frontal attack on their repairs hub. What do you two think-
"Oh, Garnet!" Pearl says when she turns, and finally recognises who, exactly, she's speaking to for the first time. "You hardly need to stay like that, you know. The camp is well guarded. We're safer here than anywhere else on the planet."
"No," Garnet says.
"Yes, we are," Pearl says, then she frowns. "Unless you think there's a security breach we haven't accounted for-?"
She still hasn't caught on. Rose Quartz may have, but her expression is hard to read, retreating into a Diamond-like mask.
"Our defences are secure," Garnet states. "What I meant was- I am going to stay like this, regardless. They- we- I have decided. This is…who I want to be."
Behind her visor, Garnet closes her eyes. Composes herself. She'd had a script, one which she'd recited again and again her head; she tries to bring herself back to that. "This is what I want. I know that it may be difficult for you do understand," she explains, not looking at her friends' expressions, for fear of what she'll see there. "I know that I'm not going to be exactly the Gem- Gems- you've known. I do not require your understanding, however. I do hope, though, that whatever ever your feelings, you will respect my decision and-"
There's the sound of a sniffle, and a soft gasp. Garnet freezes, braces herself.
When she finally lets herself look, Pearl is gaping, hand at her mouth. Rose Quartz is crying, tears silently streaming down her face. These were both potential reactions that Garnet had expected-
What she hadn't expected was for them to be smiling.
Pearl rushes forward, grabbing her by the hands. "What are you talking about? Did you think I could do anything but respect you?"
"But- I'm a fusion-"
"Yes," Pearl says. "And I've fused before. I know how wonderful it feels. Oh, I'm so happy for you!"
There's nothing Garnet can say to that- or rather, there are many things to say, but she doesn't even know where to start. Instead, she looks at Rose Quartz. Her commander's tears have stopped, but her eyes are still sparkling with joy and pride and- amusement?
"I did wonder," she says. "Ruby and Sapphire had become practically inseparable, so I thought you might decide make it more literal. I was honestly a little surprised you hadn't done this sooner."
"We talked about it," Garnet admits. And yes, they had certainly talked. At every rare opportunity they got, when the two of them found some time to be alone, in between murmured giggles and compliments, they would talk about what it would be like, if they could be truly together. Forever. And during battles, when it was considered acceptable to fuse- well, there was hardly any time to think in battles, but in the aftermath, once the dust had cleared and the immediate danger was gone, Garnet would stand there and just consider staying the way she was. But only ever consider. Until now. "But- I was afraid. About what others would say. About what you-"
"Oh, Garnet," sighs Pearl, exchanging the briefest of glances with her liege, then stepping even closer to look her directly in the eyes. Rose follows, and before Garnet can even react, the two of them have pulled her into a tight embrace.
"Don't you see?" Rose whispers in her ear. "We already love you."
Garnet relaxes, closes her eyes, and leans into their hugs, all her concerns and worries and fears melting away.
Her decision will have repercussions, as all of them do. Even among the Crystal Gems, fusion is divisive topic; this could cause division in the ranks. It could spur retribution from Homeworld. And regardless of her decision to fuse permentantly, she is still in the middle of a war. There will hard choices to be made, and difficult battles to be fought. She may die. But she will be herself throughout it all.
And in this moment, Garnet knows that she wouldn't chose anything else.
oOoOoOo
Author's Note: This was inspired by a Tumblr post by Xekstrin about what if, when the newly reformed Garnet cupped Steven's face and told him that Ruby and Sapphire already loved him- she was quoting what her friends had said to her, when she decided to permanently fuse thousands of years previously?