A/N It's been forever since I wrote anything for this account, for three simple reasons: lack of inspiration and time and some personal issues I've been needing to work through. I haven't ever written anything for Glee on this account which is weird because when I first made it, I was obsessed. Recently I fell back into that obsession. Particularly with this ship. Anyway, let me know what you think. Constructive criticism is appreciated.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Only the writing is my own. Also, this story has also been uploaded onto Archive of Our Own.
Chapter One:
The lights of the motel sign flickered stutteringly as the rain fell heavily on the pavement below. Rain droplets ran languidly down the window as she allowed her finger to trace the paths they were leaving in their wake. With a sigh she looked out on the city. It must've been around one in the morning but the lights still shone out from the office buildings and the cars that passed down below. Lima never seemed to sleep. A siren wailed in the distance, breaking the silence in the room as she turned back to face the room.
"What are you doing?" A muffled voice questioned as she faced the bed.
"Couldn't sleep."
"Something on your mind, Santana?" The speaker raised his head from the pillow, leaning on one elbow as she climbed into bed.
Santana frowned, pulling at the loose threads that ran along her quilt. "No. I was just thinking about Blaine."
Sebastian sat upright. "Look, that was an accident and you know it. No one was supposed to get hurt, I just wanted to ruin Lady Hummel's outfit. Besides, you said he was on the mend. What's the harm?" As he spoke, a finger lazily snaked down her bare arm, little zigzags of warmth prickling with that addictive electricity his touch always brought.
"The harm, Smythe, is that I have a girlfriend. A girlfriend who loves me and I'm betraying her. Not to mention my friends. They hate you. I can't imagine how bad things would be if anyone found out about this."
Sebastian's forehead creased as he took her chin in his hand, tugging her round to face him. "No one has to know. That's what you said. That's what we agreed to. Why the sudden burst of conscious?"
Santana pulled herself free of his grip. "Brittany loves me. I care about her. And much as I like to pretend otherwise, I love my friends and I care what they think. They've supported me through a lot, Sebastian." She pulled her long hair over her shoulder, picking at the split ends. "I don't know if I can keep doing this. Besides, knowing you, you probably have someone waiting for you too."
Sebastian scoffed. "My relationships tend to be over in about twenty minutes. No one's waiting for me." He sighed, swinging his long legs off the rusting motel bed. "Look, if you want to end this, then end it. I don't care. It's not like it means anything anyway. After all, give it two days and you'll be back in my bed. You always are." With that he stood, picking his discarded clothes up off the floor. "See you around, Lopez."
He marched out the door, allowing it to slam behind him.
"Ass," Santana muttered, reaching for her phone before flopping down on the bed, wincing as the ancient springs dug into her back. She frowned, reading through the dozen texts Brittany had sent her in the past hour. It was all a load of nonsense of course, but Santana felt a tear beginning to roll down her cheek. She beat it away hastily, throwing her phone back on the bedside table. Santana breathed in heavily, the scent of Sebastian's cologne clung to the pillow. She threw it from the bed, breathing heavily. How had she let that meerkat looking git get to her so much?
*•*
Santana looked down at her phone as Rachel went off on one of her infamous 'my talent is not appreciated enough' rants. Santana would've thought that after two years of saying the same thing every other week, she'd have gotten sick of repeating the same speech. From the way she was going, however, that seemed like an impossibility.
Sebastian still hadn't text her. Whatever the case, she wasn't going to be the first to break. She wasn't going to prove him right.
"Why do you smell of cologne?"
Santana turned her attention to Brittany who was leaning over to talk to her, ignoring the rubbish spewing from the hobbit's lips. "Do I? I hadn't noticed. Must be my dad's."
Brittany nodded, turning back to the front of the class room. "I'm the most talented person in this room."
Santana suppressed a smile; trust Brittany to resurrect that argument. As subtly as she could she sniffed her jacket. A small shudder escaped her. That wasn't her dad's cologne. "Sebastian," she hissed, too quietly for anyone else to hear her.
At the smell of his cologne she realized how much she had missed him in the few days she hadn't seen him. Not that she would ever admit that to him. She glanced briefly up at the class; Rachel was still defending her 'star quality' and from the glazed looks on everyone else's faces, no one could care any less.
She slid the lock screen, quickly typing out a quick message:
I'm not going to say it.
S.
She sighed before pressing send. Almost instantaneously, her phone vibrated.
Tomorrow night at 8.
S.
She rolled her eyes, sparing a glance at Brittany replying. She slid back in her chair, her back digging into the plastic painfully. She was a terrible person.
You're paying this time.
S.
Rachel's rant had finally come to an end. The disgruntled diva marched her way to the back of the room before dramatically flopping into a chair next to Finn. Santana opened her mouth to make a snide comment as her phone buzzed.
Fine.
S.
Santana smiled. She appreciated the bluntness Sebastian always had. It was one of the major appeals of their trysts. Neither of them could get confused about what they were doing, they were both far too brutally honest for that.
*•*
That night she went to visit Blaine, desperate to ease her guilty conscience at least somewhat. As she sat beside his bed she was almost tempted to tell him the truth.
"I've made pasta!"
At least she was until Kurt came in.
"Thank you," Blaine smiled, his head angled slightly awkwardly so he could actually see them both out of his good eye. Santana shuddered guilty as she looked at the bandages covering half his upper face. "Now, not that I'm not pleased to have you here, Santana, I am wondering what you're doing here."
Santana shifted uncomfortably, the strong smell of cheese from the pasta making her nauseous. "I just wanted to check that you were okay. See if I have to go all Lima Heights of Smythe's sorry ass."
Blaine chuckled pleasantly. "I'm going to be fine. Doctors reckon my eyesight should be good as new in a couple of weeks."
Kurt smiled fondly, taking his boyfriend's hand. "Besides, Blaine has expressly forbidden any attempts at revenge," he shook his head, clearly disapproving. "Despite the fact that that monster could've blinded him permanently."
Santana nodded. "I do think something should be done. I mean, I had the proof he did it on purpose, I taped a recorder to my under-boob for a reason!"
Kurt rolled his eyes at her. "We've been through this. Anyway, Sebastian's probably destroyed the tape by now."
Blaine reached out with his free hand to pat her shoulder comfortingly. "Even so I'm grateful for it. But, we are going to be classier than he is. Promise?"
Both Kurt and Santana nodded their heads. Kurt stood up abruptly. "Cupcakes. We need cupcakes." With that, he dashed out of the room.
Blaine turned his one visible eye on her, his dark stare somewhat unnerving in its intensity. "Santana," he began, holding up a finger when she went to interrupt him. "Are you sure you're okay? You seem a bit, tense. I know we're not close friends but you can talk to me if something's troubling you."
Santana met his stare. "I've been hooking up with Sebastian."
Blaine remained silent, shifting his weight. "Pardon?"
Santana winced at his perfect composure, she'd much rather he just start yelling at her. "I know you heard me. It's an eye you're missing, not an ear."
"I'm pretty sure I did hear you, but I can't have heard you correctly. Santana, this is the guy that almost blinded me. Revenge or no, surely you haven't forgotten that." He gestured to his eye for emphasis.
"I know, I'm so sorry, Blaine."
He shook his head. "But you're - and he's -"
"You can say it you know. You're gay too, Cyclops! I'm well aware. It was an accident. I don't know what happened."
"Do the others know about this?"
She lowered her head. "No. And you can't tell them. Promise me, Blaine." She looked up at him again, ready to defend herself again.
"They won't hear it from me. I hope you know what you're doing, Santana. Is this really worth losing Brittany over?"
"Of course not. I'm just really confused right now. I could really use a friend. Please don't hate me for this. I know what he did to you and I hate myself for being so weak every day. There was just this," she paused, searching for the right word as Blaine focused his good eye on her. "Energy. I don't know how to describe it."
Blaine nodded, taking her hand. "Just don't do anything you'll regret later. Thank you for telling me. I'll keep your secret, until you've made your decision."
*•*
Sebastian was waiting for her in the lobby of the motel, key already in his hand. He stood as she walked over to him, a self-satisfied smirk marring his handsome face. "What brought it on this time?"
She glared at him, violently jabbing the buttons on the elevator. "Your stupid cologne. Brittany smelt it on me in Glee club."
He smiled wider, tapping his toe as they slowly climbed their way to the floor they'd be spending the night on. "My cologne? Never took you for such a romantic."
"Who said anything about me being romantic? It's just cologne." She stomped her way out of the elevator, not bothering to look back at him.
"Whatever you say, Lopez," he grinned, sliding the key into the door. As he did so, Santana was hit by another wave of his cologne. She could sense it clinging to her clothes and she wished she could bring herself to hate the smell. To truly hate Sebastian.
He threw his jacket over the back of a nearby chair before flopping down onto the bed, tugging off his shoes as she sat down next to him. "I told Blaine about this. About us," she clarified when he looked up at her.
He nodded warily. "Why?"
"I don't really know. I just felt so guilty for what happened to him- don't start," she threatened as he moved to interrupt her. "He's promised not to tell anyone and I think I trust him."
He nodded again. "Okay, it's your business. None of the Warblers care about my personal affairs. You New Directions are too open with each other."
Santana shook her head fondly. "You'd be surprised." She turned to face him, pushing on his shoulders until he finally complied with her wishes, allowing himself to be lowered to the mattress.
"Remind me again why we come here? I'm going to get internal bleeding from these springs digging into my gut."
She sighed, pulling away from his neck. "Because it's far enough away from everywhere that no one will catch us." She quickly resumed her previous activity, smirking as Sebastian let out a soft moan.
"I'm too gay for this," Sebastian grumbled, running a hand up her back.
Santana laughed, fighting the temptation to stroke at the stubble that was beginning to show on his jaw. "Yet here we are. Again."
He let out a quiet noise of noncommittal before pulling her back down to his level. "How do you do this to me?" He whispered, pressing his lips to the corner of her mouth.
"I could ask you the same question."
Their eyes met for a moment, the intensity of his stare unnerving Santana. He reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, blinking slowly before moving to kiss her again.
The following morning, Santana woke early. She snuck out of the room, Sebastian's discarded jacket covering her bare torso (she'd been unable to find her shirt after he had thrown it aside the night before). She tried to get the image of Sebastian's intense stare out of her mind, ignoring the smell of his cologne clinging to the jacket.
The look they had shared that night unnerved her. She knew it meant that something was beginning to change between them and she wasn't sure how she felt about that.
*•*
Having told Blaine about be secret liaisons with Sebastian had been both gratifying and the worst idea she'd ever had. He had taken it upon himself to text her from his sick bed as often as he could manage, inviting her over to his place on several occasions and the thought of his bandaged face made it impossible for her to say no.
"How's everyone doing?"
She sighed, turning the page of her magazine - yet another celebrity split - before meeting his stare. "I'm sure Kurt keeps you much more reliably informed about that than I can."
"Probably true," Blaine acquiesced with a smile. "How's Sebastian? I take it you're still seeing it other?"
Santana narrowed her eyes. "What makes you say that?"
"Forgive me if I'm wrong, but, I'm pretty sure that's his jacket you're wearing."
Santana looked down at herself. "Shit," she hissed. "That must be why Kurt kept giving me weird looks!"
"Still haven't told anyone else? Don't get me wrong, I'm honoured you told me, it's just I think you might feel better telling someone else too."
Santana scoffed. "Like who? My parents? They're just coming to terms with me being a lesbian, how can I tell them I'm sleeping with a guy?! Brittany?! She might be forgiving but I don't think even she could forgive me that! Quinn? Puck? Kurt?! Oh yeah, I'm sure Kurt would be supportive!"
Blaine raised his hands in surrender. "It was just a suggestion. It's your choice. Tell everyone or don't tell anyone at all. It's up to you, Santana."
*•*
Santana sat on the end of the bed, arms wrapped around her legs. "Sorry, Britt. What did you say?"
"Lord Tubbington's been smoking again. I thought I'd thrown his last stash out."
Santana sighed, meeting the cat's eyes. Poor cat she thought. At the rate you're going you're not going to last another five years.
"You just have to be stricter."
"But, sweetie, he knows all my secrets. He'd post them on Myspace."
"No one even uses Myspace anymore. You'll be fine."
Her phone vibrated as Brittany continued to bemoan her cat's behaviour.
Tonight?
I'm paying and it won't be some dodgy motel this time.
S.
Brittany continued to chastise the poor lump of a cat whilst Santana typed out a reply.
Half an hour.
S.
"Listen, babe, I've gotta go. See you soon?" She leant down to kiss her girlfriend's cheek before rushing out before the guilt could curl in her stomach any more than it already had.
"Santana..."
Santana stopped short, wincing at the uncertainty in her girlfriend's voice. "What is it, Britt?"
"Have I done something wrong? You never want to spend time with me anymore."
Santana turned, plastering a smile on her face. "Of course not. It's just my mum's upset that I missed dinner. Don't want to upset her anymore. I promise I'll spend all day with you on Sunday."
Brittany nodded, already placated enough to allow Lord Tubbington to distract her. "Okay. See you soon."