ABC's Of Loneliness

by whiterabbitinshibuya

Part two for the story You Are My Sunshine, Please read You Are My Sunshine before reading this. Thank You.

DisClAimEr:::I do not own Kingdom Hearts. So shut up.

A/N:::I wrote this story like fifty billion times. First It was more about Kairi, then I changed it to a Naruto fiction. Then to a KH chatroom fiction, Then to a really emo Naruto fiction to a really emo KH fiction and now a continuous KH oneshot. Does tht even make sence? Okay this is going to be a series of oneshots. It follows the events of You are my Sunshine, so if you haven't read that, please read it. Or this story might not make to much sence. But this is for Lily-chans ABC contest. The rules are;

1) One pair(couple) per story

2) All words set by Lily-chan

3) One for each leter in the alphabet

Okay this story will contain flashbacks so (++) means that it is a flashback and (++) means that it

is over. So I really hope that this is good. But on with the show!!!!!!

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Abc'S oF LoNlyNESs

A-AsH

He lit his cigarette, inhaled, and let the smoke leave his mouth. Forming patterns as it hit the cool night air. He never used to smoke, he hated it. The AsH from his cigarette. It was slowly getting smaller, closer to the fillter at the end. And he had felt that way too. Not always, but ever since Kairi left. He clenched his fists and took another breath of his cigarette causing more AsH to fall to the ground.

B-BaLLO0N

(++)"Roxas! Come on lazy bum! Go to the fair with me!" Kairi was doing the dishes, dropping a plate on the floor with that last shout. "Kai!" Roxas turned around as the plate hit the floor, scattering itself across the ground. Kairi sighed, crouching down to pick up the broken pieces. "Kairi, don't your going to hurt yourself." Roxas walked into the kitchen, bending down and taking the glass from her. "Owch!" She had rested her hand on the ground cutting it in the process.

"Let me see, are you okay? Roxas took Kairi's hand in his, examining the cut. Pulling her hand closer, he kissed it. "R...Roxas?" Kairi was blushing furiously. "Lets go to Disneyland instead." Roxas stood up, pulling Kairi up with him. "Roxas are you sure? I mean--" He leaned foward,lips inches apart. "Yes I'm sure." Kairi blushed a darker shade of red."Okay but only if you get me a BaLLO0N." She smiled. "I'll get you more than a BaLLO0N." He smirked as he pined her to the wall kissing her.(++) Roxas fumbled around for his lighter. He hated being without her. He had to forget, she would want him to be happy. But he wasn't sure he could, he loved her. And she was gone, he lit his cigarette and inhaled.

C-ClOwN

"Roxas, where have you been man?" Hayner slapped Roxas' back and smiled. "Dude everyone was worried sick about you! You've been gone for three days, Kairi's missing too." Roxas flinched, all the memorys that had happened during those three days flooded his mind. He fought back tears, the urge to break down right there was so welcoming, "I was sick." Hayner nodded. "Yeah, we all figured it was either that or you and Kairi were getting married." Hayner grinned, shoving his hands in his pants pockets, noticing his friends change in attitude. "Are you okay Roxas? You know if your still sick,you shouldn't be here." Roxas nodded.

He had been avoiding his friends all day, he knew he shouldn't have come but he needed to get his mind off of her. He closed his eyes sighing. "Roxas you ClOwN!!" Turning around, Seifer punched Roxas. The punch wasn't dead on but it grazed his skin, leaving his cheek swollen. Instantly, Roxas threw a punch back, knocking Seifer to the ground. The students of Twilight College stared. "Roxas?" Hayner looked from an unconcious Seifer to his blonde friend. Roxas turned around, pulled out his cigarettes, and walked off campus.

D-DEaD

They had never found the car that had hit her. Roxas and Axel had both tried, they both loved her. Axel, as a little sister, and Roxas, as his perfect love. Roxas decided that he would go to Axel's house. He needed to talk to someone who knew, about everything that happened. Pulling out his lighter, he filicked it open and closed to pass the time. "Roxas?...Is that you?" He turned around to see Kairi. "Kai...No...it can't be...you." He closed his eyes, tears flowing freely as he droped to the ground. "Roxas I'm sorry that you have to go through this alone." She had walked over to him, the coldness of her had surrounded him. "You...you really sob are gone sob sob aren't you?" He looked up to see tears forming in her eyes. Instinctivly he stood up and tried to wipe them away.

She shook her head, "Roxas...You can't." He frowned reaching his hand out to hers, realizing that he couldn't touch her. "Kairi..." He looked down. "Why'd you leave me?" Looking back up at her, she realized his eyes were blood shot."Roxas you have to live--" She pleaded just like he had. He flinched. "What's the point of me being here without you? I've been DEaD since you left." She frowned looking down towards the ground. "Roxas...--" He shook his head. "I can't hug you or kiss you hell Kairi I can't even touch you! I'm here for nothing Kairi. I'm already DEaD ." He looked up, and she was gone. "I need to get more cigarettes." he frowned and coninued walking towards Axel's house.

E-eScaPe

Roxas made his way over to Axel's house. Tears spontainiously flowing from his eyes. He reached into his pocket, fumbling around, pulling out his lighter. "Roxas?" He turned around instantly facing Olette. "Hey..."Roxas nodded, ":Hey." His voice was barely audible he rarely spoke anymore. His eyes welled up with tears. The last person he talked to, or wanted to speak to, was gone forever. "Hayner told me what happened today." She had walked over to Roxas, trying to decipher the pain and hurt behind his eyes.

"Look Olette," he turned around facing the opposite direction, his back facing her. Tears were building up, "I've got to go."He looked down focusing on his shoes. "Roxas, are alright?" He nodded. He needed to get out, to get away from everything. He needed to eScaPe. "...Roxas, are you listening?" His thoughts were clouded, her forgot where he was going.He looked back at Olette. Her brown hair slightly blowing in the wind. She was tapping her foot on the sidewalk. "I've get to go." Roxas pushed his wa passed Olette. He ran as fast as he could, he didn't know where he was going. But anywhere was better then here.

He was going to eScaPe this pain. As he ran he forgot that he was out of cigarettes.

F-FiRe

His lungs were on FiRe, his breath uneven. His feet were hitting the pavement in a constant rythem. Breathing became more painful with every breath, with every step. He felt closer to whereve he was going,but something told him he was getting farther from where he wanted to be. He looked back on all the minutes, days and years he had spent, without her, wasted. The FiRein his lungs causd him to stop running and colapse to the ground. Looking at the sky, tears flowed freely from his eyes, all the pain and sadness flowing out of his body. Easing the pain, the FiRe in his heart.

G-GeTaWay

The room was blank. The walls were a dry white, cracks ran from the floor to the celing. The room smelled like anesthetics. He tried to move, to GeTaWay from it. He started to panic. His head was spinning. Finally managing to move, he felt a sharp pain inhis left arm. A constant rythmic beeping getting faster with every second. This place scared him, like he would never leave. The feelingof pain grew worse in his arm. "Sir your going to have to calm down."

He tried to open his eyes, he wanted to see where he was. To be able to GeTaWayfrom everything. The voices in the backround grew less paniced, calmer. He wanted to scream, to tell them all his pain, his hurt. He felt like he was dying, but maybe, if he did he wouldbe able to GeTaWay.

H- h3LL0

The voices died, and left Roxas alone, one by one. He paniced. "Roxas?" He opened his eyes for the first time in what felt like hours. And even though his eyes were open, he couldn't see. The dakness surounded him, growing darker and colder with every passing second. "Get me out of here!" Roxas' voice was harsh and determined, he waned out of wherever this was. "Roxas I can't." The personsvoice rand over agin and again in his head. I can't. I can't.

"I want out!!" Roxas started to sit up, pain shooting through his entire body. He heard panicked voices."His heartbeat isn't normal! We need to calm him down!" Panic ran through his body. " h3LL0 Roxas." The voice was soft, warm"Your hurt Roxas."The voice choked down a sob, "Everyone's worried about you." Pain filled up his sences."Where am I!" Darkness ws suffocating, enclosing his thoughts. "You can't keep doing this to yourself Roxas."

He had to get away from this darkness. "Roxas, you need to go back." The darkness faded, his pain eased as the light overtook him. "I love you Roxas." The voice was quiet, saddness filled him up. "I love you too, Kairi." A tear slid down his cheek, as he drifted into a decent sleep. h3LL0 Roxas, I hope you sleep well.

I-IF

(++) "Roxas IFyou didn't like him, why didn't you say anything?" Kairi looked over at her blonde friend. She had just broken up with Cloud, he had crushed her heart, more of a reason for Roxas to hate him. "Kai your boyfriends are none of my buisness, so I'm not going to tell you who you should date." She sighed, she wished he cared, she wanted him to. And he knew that. But he didn't think that she ever truely ment it when she said she loved him. They had been together since elementary school, inseperable.

He loved her, and he decided that today, he was going to tell her. "Uh...Kairi?" They were sitting under thetree where they had first met. "IFIwere to ask you a question, would you truthfully answer me?" He looked at her quietly sitting under the tree she was making a crown of flowers, looking up at him she smiled. "Of course silly." He nodded fighting the urge to forget the whole idea. "IF I were to tell you I loved you, what would you say?" He loohed over at her, and then quickly to the ground.

"Well IF you were to love me..." She had turned to face Roxas, her voices playing with his sences. "I would tell you I loved you too, and that I only wished that you truthfully loved me. But that's IF you told me." She had readjusted herself, a slight breeze messing up her hair, a blush creping across her face. "Kairi I love you." Roxas blushed and leaned forward, their lips almost touching. "IF I were to kiss you-" He leaned forward pushing his lips into hers.

He had wanted to kiss her for so long, he had loved her so much. Reluctantly they broke the kiss, each catching their breath. "Well, Roxas, IF you were to kiss me, I'd say I'd kiss you back." She smiled, placing another kiss on his lips. (++)

J-JuvEniLLe

"Will he be okay?" Axel looked at Roxas, his chest slowly rising and falling. The nurse nodded,"He should be fine" She smiled at Axel and left the room. "Roxas" Axel sighed an sat in the chair next to him. Resting his arms on his legs, he burried his face in his hands. "You dumbass." (++) "Hold on Demyx" Axel had just gotten home from work, putting down his keys, he walked over to the phone. It had been ringing since he pulled up. "Hello?" Axel felt a pain grow in the pit of his stomach.

"Yes, is this Axel Hibiya?" The voice answered in a paniced tone. "Yes... Who is this?" The panic grew worse. "This is Dr. Maia, from Twilight Hospital. I'm calling to inform you that Roxas Hikari is in our care. We were wondering if you could tell us where his parents are?" Axel surpressed the urge to breakdown. "His parents are dead. I'm his guardian." He was shaking. "We need you to come down here and claim his items, it might also help that he has a familiar face while he's staying here." Axel dropped the phone, he should have know something was wrong.

Grabbing his keys, he ran out the door, and to Twilight Hospital.(++) "...Axel?" Roxas opened his eyes to see his best friend in the chair next to him. "Where am I?" He looked around the room, the darkness had finally left. He tried to remember what happened. "You tried to kill yourself." Axel had gotten up and grabbed Roxas' wrist, reveling fresh cuts and burns. The memorys came flooding back. He didn't think anyone would find him,of if they did, it'd be to late. "Oh." he pulled his wrist out of Axel's grip.

"What are you doing to yourself!? Do you think Kairi wanted you to suffer? Your hurting everyone with your JuvEniLLe attempts at your life!" He paused looking over a Roxas. "You can't keep doing this to yourself." Roxas cringed. "I can't take seeing you like this, you not this JuvEniLLe person anymore. So just, stop." The worry in his voice betraying his emotions. Looking over at Roxas, he smiled, the blonde had fallen asleep.

K-KeNd0

(++) Roxas had just gotten out of KeNd0 lessons. He needed to get his mind off of his life. He sighed, pushing open he door of the studio in to the cool night air aganst his face. Looking up he saw her, sitting by his car, crying. "Kairi...?" He walked over to her, his KeNd0 uniform slightly blowing in the breeze. He wasn't sure what to do, he sat down next to her, pulling her into his lap. She would talk about it when she wanted to. Burying her face in his shoulder, she let out her pain. Crying untill her eyes were dry. It was the last day Roxas wore his KeNd0 uniform, and the first day Kairi cut herself.

L-LiAr

Roxas had been allowed to leave Twilight Hospital. He was still in a daze, his wrist was tightly bandaged, a sting of pain shooting through his arm unevenly. Axel had promised Dr. Maia that he would take care of Roxas, but it was a lie. Roxas smirked, Axel had always been a good LiAr, just like Roxas was now. All the empty promices, going back to school, moving on with life. He knew he would eventually regret it, Kairi hated lies, and thats all Roxas ever did. Which would make her hate him too, after all, he was a LiAr.

M-MaiD

(++) "I'm not a MaiD Roxas! Especialy not yours!" Kairi yelled, throwing papers at her smirking blonde friend. She wasn't sure what it was, but he had been pissing her off lately. She hated it. "Kai you can't say your not a MaiD, your in a maids outfit." Roxas smiled, repressing the urge to throw himself all over her,and the giant nosebleed. "You are such a sexist big fat piggy." She sat on the couch crossing her arms, putting on the biggest pout he had ever seen. She had been buying Lolita outfits, much to his dismay, Not that she didn't look beautiful in everything.

He masaged his temples, "Roxas?" she had ruffeled out her skirt, lace and frills brushing his leg. "Yeah Kai?" He nodded. "Um... Well..." He looked over at her, she was fidgeting. He couldn't stand it, grabbing both her wrists, he pulled her forward. Wrapping his arms around her in a tight embrace. "Roxas?" She squirmed trying to see his face, only to be pulled back into Roxas' chest. "Your gonna be the death of me one day." She could feel his expression get serious, he let out a sigh.

She giggled, "This isn't funny Kairi." Roxas sighed. "I'm sorry Roxas." He looked at her, a pout rolling across her face. "Look I didn't mean it." He loosened the embrace, resting his chin on her head. "So your a maid huh?" She laughed. "I guess, if you want me to be." He smiled. "So then, does that make me your 'master'?" He felt her heart skip a beat. "That depends," Her blush grew, "does that mean I have to do what you say?" He nodded, "Yep" She smiled. "Well then yes 'master' whatever you say." He smiled, placing a kiss on her lips.

N-NasTy

Axel couldn't explain it, but he felt something NasTy was about to happen. Sora and Riku had called, saying something about visiting Kairi. He knew that their would be touble. Lately thats all that seemed to be happening to them. Axel grabbed his keys and headed out the door. Hoping that when he reached Roxas' house it wouldn't be to late. His heart was beating rapidly, something NasTy was about to happen, and he didn't like it.

O-OPeN

"Roxas OPeN the door!" Axel had been pounding on it for what seemed like hours. "I'm serious Roxas!" Panic and anger growing more in his voice. He was supposed to be taking care of Roxas, his best friend. Axel's fist grew sore as he continued knocking. How was he supposed to help Roxas if he wouldn't OPeN up to him? Axel sighed, how could he help his best friend if he wouldn't even OPeN the door?

P-PaSTEls

He hated PaSTEls , they left everything they touched colorful. Not that he didnt like colors, bu life seemed dull, grey. He wante to take the PaSTEls and color the planet. He looked at his hands covered in pinks and blues. Walking over to the sink, he unwrapped his wrist. The scars had bubbled up, swolen. He looked around the kitchen, everything seemed empty without her. He frowned rubbing his temples. He missed everything about her. she hated PaSTEls too. A chuckel escaped as he walked over to the sink, washing away the colors.

Q-QuiLl

(++) It was her first birthday without Sora or Riku. Something in the pit of her stomach made her nervous. Roxas had promised her the best present ever, she had supposedly wanted it forever. She was sitting on his couch, looking around his room she noticed Roxas had very little mess, that or very little belongings. "Kairi sorry it took so long." The blonde walked in, a goofy grin on his face as he rubbed the back of his head with his hand. "Its okay Roxas, you know I told you not to get me anything." She smiled, she had never been good at accepting gifts, she had always felt that she never deserved them. He sat down next to her, handing her a thin purple box.

He smiled. "I hope you like it." She smiled back at him giving him a reasuring nod. "I'm sure I will." She opened the box reveling a purple QuiLl. This is what she had been begging for. It was such a dark purple that it appeared black and only in the sunlight did it show purple. It had small purple beads that dangled from the featherd tip. Each bead a different shape then the last. "Omigosh, Roxas." She pulled out the QuiLl touching it tenderly. "You said you loved this QuiLland that you wanted to be an author, so..." She smiled hugging him. "You know your the only one that remembers anything I say." Pain and sadness slightly showing in her voice. "Thats cause I love you, more than anything else."(++)

Roxas smiled holding her QuiLl in her hand, he ment every word he said to her that day, and he still does.

R-rAve

"Hayner, this is Roxas, I'm calling to ask why you left a rAve invtation at my door?" Roxas had been very antisocial, well that was to be expected. Hayner had stopped by earlyer and left directions to a college rAveHe sighed and hung up, gabbing a glass of water and two asprin, he knew he would need them. He had two choices, stay home and have hayner come over and annoy the hel out of him untill he went, or he could go and save the trouble of Hayner coming at all. He hated partys, but he knew he wouldn't be here much longer, so his decision was made. He grabbed his keys and walked out the door, maybe he could forget his pain and troubles, so off to the rAve.

S-SlOw

He was driving more SlOw than usual, his mind was in a fuzz. He left the party early, he needed to sleep. He knew he shouldn't be driving, he was way worse off then drunk. No one was on the road, he made sure of that, he had taken the back roads back to Twilight Town. he should have taken his car, it was freeing outside. His motercycle not giving him any protection.

SCREACH SLAM

"ROXAS!" Axel had just gotten the news, he ran out of his house and to Twilight Hospital. Rushing through the doors he quickly found Roxas' room. Looking through the glass he saw his blonde friend, on life support. His breath SlOw and uneven, Axel shed a tear, his friend wouldn't last till morning.

T-TofFee

Roxas hate TofFee it had always ment trouble in his life. He couldn't explain it, it was like every time he had it, somthing bad happened to him. He should have known. Invite to the party, someone had left him a box of TofFee. He ignored it even if it was a sign that he would crash, he wanted to die. He hated himself, he should of known that something would happen, but even if he had managed to save Kairi in time somthing would happen in its place, just like if he had never gone to the party, somthing else would have happened to him sending him to the hospital. But one thing was certain, he hated TofFee.

U-U.F.O

(++) "R--Roxas" Kairi pulled on his sleve, fear in her voice. "Yeah Kai?" He looked over at her, her face was burried in his shoulder, they had gone to the movies, wher aliens took over the world, he had told her it was scary. But who was he to tell her no? "You don't think a U.F.O would come to Earth... do you?" He smiled, Giving her a reasuring hug. "No Kai, and even if they did, I'd protect you, no U.F.O would ever hurt you." He kissed the top of her head. "You promise?"

He nodded, looking into her ocean blue eyes, leaning down he pushed his lips aganst hers, to think it was a kiss that started with a U.F.O.

VViLlA

He had always wanted to rent a ViLlA with her. For certain reasons. She had always been cooped up on the Destiny Islands her only freedom was coming to Twilight Town. And even then she had only come to be with Roxas, he still to this day wasn't sur if she really liked it there. He just wished that he had a chance to ask her. She had said the place she loved most was Radient Garden, he had planed that during Christmas vacation he'd rent a ViLlA there. But now he had no more time to spend with her, they'd never go on that vacation now.

W-WOrD

(++) "Okay what is the first WOrD that comes to your mind." Hayner laughed as he impersonated his councler. Kairi scoffed."Hayner its not easy being a peer helper." Roxas took her hand in his causing a blush to creep across her face. He smiled he took every WOrD she had ever said to heart. He was going to propose to l her. Everyone seemed to know except her. He wanted to be with her forever. He fumbled around with the ring in his pocket. As Hayner and the guys had left, the two also head home.

"Kairi, I need to ask you somethig." His heart was beating furiously. She had givin him a reasuring smile, he nodded. Getting down on one knee he proposed. "Kairi will you marry me?" She started crying. "Yes" She kissed him. The one WOrD he wanted to hear.

XXyLoPhoNe

Roxas was still sleeping, for some strange reason Axel had been hearing XyLoPhoNe music. It was strange but Axel loved the XyLoPhoNe. He had been watching over Roxas since he got her. He refused to leave the blondes side, Roxas' condition haad only gotten worse, he had been hooked up to more life support machines then anyone should have to go through. The nurces had asked him if Roxas would have wanted to stay alive like this. Axel hadn't the slightest clue, He loved Roxas as a brother.

He didn't think that he could take him off of life support. He had been thinking that it was ment to be this way. That everyting that was ment to happen would happen He pounded his fist on the glass. He didn't want to take Roxas' chances of living, but, he couldn't bear to see Roxas suffer. He nodded to the nurse, as they walked in seeing Roxas for the last time.

Y-YogA

(++) "Roxas I need to go tell Mr. Hatsumi something, I'll be right back." Kairi kissed Roxas' cheek and ran off to talk to her math teacher. "Okay I'll wait here then." She smiled as he pulled her into his chest and hugged her. "Roxas? I need to go talk to him before he leaves." He smiled "Right" He smiled as she ran off. Things were complicated for them, like YogA. Kairi had just moved in with Roxas, and finals were coming up. Roxas was busy with his video game design, and Kairi with her novel. She had been working on it for two years now, he loved it. She was so pretty when she was writing.

She had just sent a draft to Twilight Publishing, they were supposed to hear from them within a week. He smiled, seeing Kairi heading back his way. "Sorry it took so long." He nodded kissing her. "It's okay" She smiled. Her cell phone ringing. "It's Twilight Publishing." Her hand shaking. "I can't answer it." Roxas grabbed the phone out of her hand hitting the talk button and pressing it to his ear. "Hello? Yes. Yes. No this is her fiancee. Really? Okay, I'll tell her." He nodded hanging up the phone. "Sooo." She stared intently at him. "I didn't get it did I?" A tinge of saddness in her voice.

"Well, they wanted me to tell you that publishing started in a month." He smiled, her eyes grew wide. "Your kidding?" She hugged him. "Omigod really I made it!" He kissed her. "Yeah, you did. We should go celebrate." He smirked. "What you have in mind?" He took her hand and lead her to thir house. "YogA."(++)

Z-ZIp

This was it, Roxas wasn't going to make it. Axel had tried all he could to wait for him. But he couldn't watch Roxas breath through a tube. "Are you ready sir." The nurse had tried to comfort him, but nothing could make him happy. He had made up his mind. "Y--Yeah." Fighting through tears he nodded at the nurse. She had rested her hand on the machine. Nodding she took Axels hand. "Your doing the right thing." He forced a smile as more tears streamed down his cheeks. Turning off the machine, Axel burst out in sobs. Roxas had stopped breathing. He was gone.

...ZIP...

They had taken him out of the room, Axel had left Twilight Hospital, crying. His two best friends gone. Walking down the road he tried all he could do to get his mind off of it. He had just killed his best friend. Tears flowed from his eyes, looking into the passing by stores. He had walked inside escaping the cold. Turning around he saw a bright light. He walked towards it picking up book. Inside were the words:

To my everything and anyhings

To my friends and family

To my brothers and my lovers

Which mean the world to me;

To Axel and Roxas

To Sora and Riku

And to those who loved me

I am returning the favor

This book is written for you

The pages of my Wonderland

-Kairi Hikari

Axel cried, her book had been published, the day Roxas died. Wiping the tears from his eyes. He knew that Roxas and Kairi were together, wherever they were. And even when times were tough they would always be with him.

----ENd----

Okay there it is I really hope you like it, I'm slightly pissed off at the ending so I might reformat it but anyways there you have it. If you have any questions just ask. And I have nothing aganst the pairing Sora and Kairi, but I really like the pairing of Kairi and Roxas too. So if you don't like it I'm sorry but deal with it.