My first fan fic in like… a year! This one is surprisingly from the inspiration of a friend of mine and kinda how I feel about that friend just to a much more dramatic level. Enjoy. :o

XOXOXOXOX

My day was nearly over, I needed to stop. All day long, all month long, everything about me had something to do with him. Sora, Sora, Sora, it rang so well didn't it? Oh I was thinking too much! Falling in love with someone so close to you never turned out well… what so ever. But of all times especially now, I had just been diagnosed with some deadly cancer, my doctor told me I had that of 2 months left. I hung out with two of the nerdiest boys at my Middle School and had fallen in love with one of them. But after school, after school was Namine Kairi time. Time to get stupid boys off your mind. Time to do things that any legally sane person would never! Marijuana time.

"Fucking hurry your ass up Kairi! You called god damn greens and im not waiting!" Namine was beyond patient at all, she never had been either. This would have easily been my 4th time with the magical plant that made everything better, and god I could only hope something so wild would make things better. As my mind continued to wonder further and further my feet began to wonder closer and closer to the 2 boys waiting for me and then well… Namine.

"MY GOD KAIRI HURRY YOUR ASS UP!" Her voice began to wonder yet again through my un-focused ear drum, but either way I was still able to here just fine. I arrived in my room finally. Sadly enough I lived in a freakishly scary dark basement, there was nothing good about it aside from the fact no one ever came down to check on me. But even luckier, my folks were out of country for a good month!

"KAIIIII" The annoying best friend started up again!

"My fucking lord Namine shut up and give me the damn lighter!" In the time she had been screaming at me I had to go get a pop can so we could use it as a pipe. Surprisingly they worked well! Namine reached her palm out towards my hand. I tooks the tiny fire making machine from her hand and began to strike against the lighters starting point. Once, it doesn't ignite, twice, it still doesn't, three times, the wick of the lighter is now lit. colors of blue, orange and yellow begin to shine. I remove my thumb from the lighter, set the tiny cylinder against my bed next to Heyner. He was a major friend of Namine's boyfriend Roxas, also known as Sora's cousin.

I reach into my jacket pocket only to pull out a miniature zip-lock baggy filled with a greenish looking herb, but unlike some herbs this one had been previously crushed. My small chubby fingers reach into the baggy and pick out just a small amount of this… this poison I was soon to be dosed with. I had brought new meaning to picking my own personal poison and hopefully this specific one would cause my final hour. Maybe if I was no longer on this dreadful earth… just maybe he would realize he actually gave a shit. But you know what sucked, if he did care at all, I wouldn't be there to care for. I lift my hand from the baggy to the can and sprinkle the substance onto the designated area for this specific activity. My eyes begin to wonder back next to Heyner the lighter is still just laying in place waiting for my aching mind to give the rest of me the command to pick it up yet again. SO, as ordered, my arm drifts downward towards the small baby blue object. I strike it twice yet again before finally igniting, following this step I place the opening to the can at my mouth and my other thumb over the hole on the side. As I look down I begin to notice the greens taking a blackened form.

"Kairi INHALE, INHALE!" My lugs begin to fill, my throat begins to tingle. Oh how my poison was kicking in, still after even 30 seconds I keep on inhaling.

"OH MY GOD!! Kairi that was amazing!" Namines voice begins to ring around my head, I begin to see teeny Namine's as they pounce around my head.

"Namine hahahaahahahahahahah, your like, fucki-i-i-ing douuubleeinggggg." Oh I hear myself as my sanity begins to linger farther and farther downward. Even in my state of insanity I can still tell that everyone else is doing just fine, apparently none of which having even started to be anywhere near where I am. Oh I had such an incredibly easy high!

"Gimmmmmeee!" Snatching the lighter and can from Roxas I sprinkle a tad bit more onto the indented area where the herb is supposed to be planted. The lighter yet again lights and I begin to watch the exact same process as before. For nearly 3 more hours this is repeated, I must have thrown up at LEAST 4 times. Within the 3rd hour something unexpected occurs… I hear my door bell! In and extreme struggle I make my way up the old fashioned gray stairs and to the Victorian white door. My hand rattles as I turn the knob leading to the front yard. And next thing I knew…

"Kairi?" Oh my gosh! This incident had officially surpassed okay! Sora was standing at my front door. Oh shit oh shit oh fucking shit! Is all I can think to myself, control was something I had none of at this point.

"Soraaaa." From one side to another I could feel the cheesy grin swept across my face. "Sora, Sora, Soraaaa." I giggled yet again and again, after nearly everything said or done another fucking gay ass giggle appeared! "Come innnnn. I gots some stuffz fer youuu." I began to yank the poor soul by his arm into my home, oh this wasn't going to be good. Then next thing I know Im pulling the kid into my parents room! Oh life was horrid.

"Soraa," I struggle even again to say his simple name, it was so hard with all the giggling going on. I grabbed his shirt and hopped up to reach his pearly peach lips, goodness he was taller then me!

"Kairi's gonna kiss Sora now okay? Okay okay okayyyy??" I begin to chant like some young kindergartener aching for her first holiday present.

"No Kairi your not your self you don't want to kiss me what are you thinking get off!" Oh how his words hurt so dreadfully! AH he wouldn't give in! But he needed to give in, I wanted to atleast kiss him once before, well, I was gone I guess you put it. So I threw him onto the ground instead.

"FUCKING KISS ME!" I had the dominant position at that moment and I was going to take advantage of it. I forced my head forward and pressed my lips intensely yet softly against his own, my mouth began to open just a smidge and then I realized… so had his! HE WAS KISSING BACK! Then next thing I knew I could feel his fingers streaming through my hair. My tongue easily began to dance with his but before I knew it my fantasy had ended. So I lift myself from him and state to him three words with more meaning then any other choice of word in existence.

"I love you, Sora… I love youuu." Still slightly out of it, I raise completely from atop him and walk to pick up a pillow from the bed next to us. I hold it in front of me in a very demanding fashion. "Now kill me with it. If I going to die I want to die by the hands of my best friend and then one I love." I feel tears stream down my face.

"But Kai! I cant!" I threw my palm against his mouth.

"Just shush! I want you to do it! I want to from your hands and no one else's! If you love me like I love you, you would do it for me!" I scream at him. I cry I scream I swear I yell. But all I want is for my pain to end. I pull my hands in to suffocate my self but next thing I know, I no longer have the pillow in my own possession! Its in his. His arms wrap around me as he picks me up and places me onto the bed, I look up at him and even if not completely clear from the high and the tears I can see he too is crying, or rather sobbing is more like it. The pillow slowly closes in on my "porcelain" face and then very last thing I hear before loosing all breath was Sora whisper into me ear the very words I had always wished to hear from him.

"Kairi, I love you too."

XOXOX

I had done it! I had just murdered both my best friend and the love of my life. I had nothing better to do but sob and grasp her slowly icing over body.

"I love you, I love you , I love you. That's the ONLY reason I did it. I love you Kairi. COME BACK!" But as my sobs continue the door to the room swings open.

"KAIRI YOU DON'T HAVE CANCER! YOU'RE GOING TO BE JUST FINE!" Kairi's mother stands in the door way looking at me with nothing more then a blank look in her eyes. After this all I can to is lift my right wrist to my mouth and bite down as hard as I could. Painfully enough I feel my cannibalistic teeth bite through my flesh and I begin to taste the crimson red substance as it leaves my body only to re-enter through my very own mouth.

Kairi… I'm coming with you.