Dislaimer: I own nothing except my immagination.
Since most of my previous stuff has been pretty dark, I decided to try another attempt at humor. This was inspirired by too much suger, caffine, loud music, neglectant parents, a case of temperary insanity, one of my friends' truth-or-dare games . . .
Note: the dares (according to the version my friends and I play) go: dare, double dare, triple dare, quadruple dare, super dare, mega dare, and ultra dare. Any dare after quadruple dare has four dares to chose from.
Note II: sorry for any character twists, I try to keep them as much in character as possible . . . blah blah blah ya get it.
Note III: this takes place AFTER the War of Souls in the Afterlife . . . highly amusing . . .
Truth or dare!!
Our characters get together for a friendly game of truth-or-dare . . . and might actually get around to playing if they'd quit arguing for two seconds . . .
The companions, plus Kitiara, Crysania,and Elistan, are seated around around a table in the Afterlife. Tanis clears his throat.
"Well, since we have absolutely nothing else to do, since Caramon broke the Twister game, Raistlin obliterated the TV, Tika bashed the chess board with a skillet, Tas ran off and 'lost' the checkers, and, strangely, all the CDs are missing . . . "
"I still say Raistlin stole them." Sturm said self-rightiously, glaring at the mage. Raistlin glared back.
"Be quiet, Knight, you're just sore because I destroyed the TV."
"For god's sakes, I was watching Married With Children, why did you HAVE to obliterate it in the middle of my favorite episode??"
"I HATE that show, that's why!" Raistlin snapped, having no more patience.
"Sturm, shut up. Raistlin, be quiet. We have to spend all enternity with each other, remember?" Tanis said wearily.
"Yes, thanks to the wisdom of Paladine . . . "
"CD stealer." muttered Sturm.
"You like Britney Spears????"
"My taste in music is far supirior to your own, mage."
"Uh-huhhhh."
"I still say you stole them."
"Then why are my CDs missing?"
"Oh, sure, the Metallica and Divinity Destroyed and Lake of Tears CDs are missing, but the tapes are still here. What's that one you played all last night? Blue Oyster Corrupted?"
"Three things, wanna-be Knight-"
"Fire away."
"I will. Shall I aim for your empty head, your face, orconcentrate on your torso?"
"Your aim's so bad I'm more worried for the person next tome than me."
"You want to test that out?"
"What do you think?"
"I think yes."
"Let's get back to those three things."
"Fine. A, it's Blue Oyster Cult, you dim-witted machine. B, it's the Afterlife, there is, unfortunately,no such thing as Night here. C, there's a spot on your shirt."
"There is?"
Dwoing.
"Ow!"
"Gotcha."
"I refuse to argue with you anymore, mage!"
"I thought you liked it."
"Raistlin."
"Sturm."
"Anyway, how did you get here, evil mage???"
"You wanna play shadow?"
"Huh?"
"Huh?"
"What-"
"What-"
"Why the hell are you copying me?"
"Why the hell are you copying me?"
"I'm an idiot."
"Oh, I knew that."
"GOTCHA!"
"Gotcha."
"Damn."
"Damn."
The two continued arguing as the other people sighed insinc and shook their heads.
"Well, uh, what shall we do?" Laurana asked innocently.
"How did SHE get here???" Kitiara asked, casting Laurana a Death Glare.
Tanis sighed.
"Ladies, ladies . . . "
"Excuse me!" Laurana snarled. "I am the Lawful Good girl whose armies kicked your armiesbehind all the way to the Abyss and back again, not to mention got the cute boy's ring AND I'm not the one that ended up married to a creepy unded dude!"
"And I am the interesting Chaotic Evil woman who not only could kick your ass all the way to Qualinost and back but also nearly controlled all of Ansolan-"
"Well, look who landed in the Abyss!"
"Who's the ditz who ran after her childhood friend, having completely deluded herself into thinking that he loved her, nearly killing everyone in the process and pissing off the whole Elven nations?"
"You . . . you . . . well, I ended up with Tanis!"
"Oh yeah? I ended up, not only with a third of the male population of Krynn, but with a (duh duh duh) Crown of Power too!"
"Kit . . . " Tanis sighed.
"Oh, for the love of-shut up, Tanis!"
"What did I ever do to you?"
"What did you ever do to ME? What did you friggin' DO TO ME?? I'll tell you! First of all, you left me for a ditz who can't tell the difference between chicken and tuna-"
"You nearly killed me and made me a servant of the Dark Queen!"
"You slept with me for THREE nights in Tarsis, then up and left, just like that-"
"You nearly killed me trying to get the Green Gemstone Man-"
"YOU FRIGGIN' LET THAT DEMENTED LORD SOTH STEAL MY SOUL!"
"YOU HAD A SOUL?"
"YOU (insert really, really bad word here)!"
"YOU (insert another really, really bad word here)!"
BOOM!
Tanis and Kitiara lept to their feet, narrowly avoiding being obliterated by Raistlin's spell.
"What the hell did you do that for???" Caramon asked in bewilderment.
"Shut up, Caramon."
"Well, since we have absolutely nothing else to do, let's play truth-or-dare!" Crysania suggested.
"WHAT?"
"You know-truth or dare. You pick either a truth or a dare, and then you have to tell/do whatever the truther or dareer tells you to do or say!"
"Sounds demented." Raistlin observed.
"Well, no one asked you for your opinion!"
"And no one asked you for yours."
"How was the last bit an opinion??"
"It just was."
"Cut it out, you two." snapped Tanis.
"How dare you!" Crysania slapped him across the face.
"You want help with that?" Kit asked Crysania innocently.
"The arguing or the slapping?"
"The slapping."
"Sure."
"Hey, now, cut it out." Elistan glared at the two woman.
"OK, OK, let's just play."
"Fine."
"I'll go first." Crysania scoured the group with her eyes, coming to rest on Raistlin and Sturm, who had quit arguing enough to pay attention.
Crysania grinned and rebbed her hand together. This would be sweet!
Revenge always was.
So?
What dya think?