Disclaimer: I don't own KHR.

Author's Note: 9th's character is somehow similar to Milch Stresseman in Nodame Cantabile. They have the same clothes if you've notice. A lot of doujins make 9th cracked which I got my reference. I can't actually grasp tsuna's character because it keeps on changing on the story. I wanted him to be somehow sarcastic and cruel just like on some crack pairings like 6927. Crack fic.

Rewritten: 05-14-11

Wanted! Husband

Chapter 1: What's an uke?

After the conclusion of the feud between Vongola and Shimon family, everything was back to the way it was before. Tranquil mornings even if there was Reborn and Lambo to destroy it-but not today for Reborn wasn't there- and no more enemies for the time being, well, he'd rather have that as forever. After all, he was still Dame-Tsuna, even if he was crowned Vongola tenth.

Weekends have always been a cup of tea for Sawada Tsunayoshi, it was always his days for resting. He lay by the bed, his other arm on the back of his head supporting him, while the other held a manga. Everything was peace and quiet, yes, peace and quiet. Now if only that blades of a helicopter would stop for it was making too many noises that destroys Tsuna's serenity, everything would be still and quiet. A gush of wind entered in his room by the window, which made every paper flew to different directions.

Tsuna wanted to believe that everything was in peace. He tried meditating, closing his eyes and repeating the word "peace" in his mind, until.

"TSUNAYOSHI-KUN~!"

A voice he clearly knew shouted his name, and he didn't like it one bit. Truly it was thoughtful of him to visit-for he rarely does so-, but it only meant two things, either it was for a mission, or just visiting for the sole purpose of seeing him. He'd choose the latter. Hearing the helicopter getting closer by the sound of its engine, Tsuna rushed out of his house to see his visitor. Said boy braised himself because of the wind, as the helicopter started to descend in front of his house.

"HIEE! Grandpa!"

9th stepped out of the helicopter, wearing sunglasses, and smiled sparkly. Tsuna grimaced at the sight. The old man walked up to Tsuna and said Tsuna's name. The boy looked around, seeing that most of his neighbors have already stepped out of their houses to see the commotion. Tsuna panicked because of this. Still, he wanted to know why 9th would go all the way to visit him from Italy.

"9th? Why are you here? You even brought that helicopter! Uwaaah! People are looking! Please remove the helicopter!" Tsuna pleaded as he ran his arms frantically, trying to slice the invisible air.

"Ohoho, let people look," he glanced at Tsuna who was now glaring at him, he shuddered, "But since you asked, Okay then." He turned around to the helicopter and clapped his hands. "Chauffer of the helicopter, pick me up later."

The man appeared all black and mafia-like, and saluted 9th. "Yes boss." Then the helicopter took off, leaving Tsuna and 9th alone.

They were at Tsuna's room, even though it is mess up because of the papers scattered around, much to what 9th commented as he entered the room. Tsuna glared at him, and thought, "THIS WAS YOUR FAULT, you old man!"

Both of them sat at the floor, staring at each other. 9th abruptly grabbed Tsuna's hands, which made Tsuna raise a brow in confusion, and said with sparkling eyes, "Even though it's fast, please find a husband, Tsunayoshi-kun."

Tsuna froze with the words that 9th dropped on him. Thinking it was because he heard it wrong, he asked, "Come again?"

"Please find a husband," 9th answered seriously.

The boy stood and was clearly shocked. He came to his senses, and yelled,

"Ehhhhhh? What are you talking about 9th! I'm only 15! And you even said husband! Shouldn't it be wife? Besides, why should I find a husband?"

"That's because I'm already old! I might die soon! That's my last request for you," 9th exclaimed, faking sobs.

"What's this old man? Was 9th really this selfish?I feel sorry for Xanxus," Tsuna thought.

"Besides, you're not a husband material,"9th cried out, clenching his fist. He continued, "

You're a wife material! Right! An uke(1)!"

Tsuna felt an arrow hit him in the chest, right on the word manliness. Just a second, what's an uke?

"You're the type who would look good in aprons, maid, and nurse outfits or even regular girl's clothing! Yes! Just like in my fantasies," the elder shouted, blushing at the same time.

Tsuna felt a vein popping on his face, his face darkening. YOU'RE ONE OF THOSE RETARDED OLD MANS! Tsuna hated when someone insults his manliness, truly he does look feminine, but after all the fights and trainings he had because of Reborn he have already grown! Imagine his reaction when 9th brought out a box, saying it was a fantasy box, where all your fantasies can be transferred and seen there. Wait, did he have that when he came to my room?

The scenes in the box made Tsuna's face dimmed darker; it was probably the biggest mistake of 9th showing that box to Tsuna.

The box showed a scene where Tsuna was wearing a pink, frilly apron. The only reaction that Tsuna came up with, was his mouth agape, clearly shocked, and he thought, "What the."

"Welcome home, Dear! Would you like a bath? Dinner? Or me," Imaginary Tsuna asked, blushing furiously, looking so adorable.

9th blushed, pointing at the screen then looking at Tsuna, and said, "Right! Just like that!"

Retarded, Crazy.

While blushing and drooling, 9th said "Or like this!"

The scene was now Tsuna on a maid outfit. Tsuna didn't want to explain it any further because he's at the point of killing 9th.Die old man!

However, even if the killing intent was present in the air, 9th simply didn't notice.

"There's still more! Nurse Tsuna, school uniform, bondage, handcuffs, everything!" 9th wiped off his drool and sighed contently. Before the box could show any more fantasies that 9th thought, Tsuna quickly transfers to hyper mode and destroys the box.

9th stared at the debris and felt the world crushing down on him. He pushed his hand forward, and cried, "Ahhh! My beautiful fantasy box!" The man cried over his loss.

Tsuna grimaced as he dusted of his hands. He shot a glance on 9th, uttering, "Please don't use me in your fantasies 9th. It's disgusting."

"Ouch! That hurts Tsunayoshi-kun! I'm not the only one who's doing it you know," he retorted, one of his hands clutching his chest.

Though it's oblivious to Tsuna, a lot of people fantasize him, especially boys.

Tsuna's face became darker. "So you're not the only one who is doing it? Then there are still others. Mind telling me who," the boy asked, crackling his fist.

9th started to cower in fear as he backed away from Tsuna, who only stepped forward for each step 9th backed away. He put a mental note on his head, don't make tsunayoshi angry. He's scary.

"AnywayFindAHusbandOrElseI'llDieOfSadnessGoodbye!" 9th immediately yelled while running out of Tsuna's room.

The brunette sighed heavily as he felt the world on his shoulders. Knowing 9th, and possibly Reborn, he knew he had no choice but to do it. Ah, but what's an uke? Hmmm…

In the meantime, as Tsuna ponders what an uke is, news about Tsuna wanting a husband spreads to the guardians, to some friends like Dino, Spanner, Irie and the others, and even to the small family they've fought recently, namely, the Shimon Family.

TBC.

Omake!

"Uke…..u-ke. Ah! Uke! Hmm, it says here that an uke is one who receives. Receives what?" Tsuna asked his self, after reading the definition on the dictionary.

"Dame-Tsuna, that means you're a person who gets penetrated by the seme(2)," Reborn replied, which only confused Tsuna more.

Tsuna glanced at Reborn, and said, "Eh?Penetrated? By what? Seme? What's a seme?"

The brunette heard a snore, clearly, Reborn went back to sleep.

"Ah! Reborn! Don't sleep while I'm still talking to you!" Tsuna complained as his brows furrowed.

"AHH! Mou! What's an Uke and Seme?"

(1)Uke – In yaoi(3), uke is the one who receives, or bottoms. In biology, they are the lesser dominant in a relationship, especially in sex. Though no idea, why is that connected in Biology. (It's not connected really. In short, if it's a boy and girl relationship, he is the girl.

(2)Seme – Also in yaoi, seme is the one who penetrates the uke, or tops. More dominant figure in the relationship, also in sex.

(3)Yaoi – boy to boy relationship.