Everlasting Snow, a hikaru no go fanfic

Disclaimer
Hikaru no Go belongs to Yumi Hotta and Takeshi Obata. Characters from it are used without permission. The song Everlasting Snow is sung by DREAM and therefore, also belongs to all figures involved in its production. Translation of the song is taken from Hikaru no Go 2004 Special, translated by Fansubs (I'm not sure of the exact name of the group who translated the song... So sorry to them...-frowns with a sigh- ).

A/N
A songfic I've wanted to write ever since I'd first listened to the song. If you listen to it, I'm quite sure you will like it too. Anyway, may this story be a good one that you'll enjoy and remember forever.

-Everlasting Snow-
by FloriaCharms

The dim evening light from the hidden setting sun was her only source of light for vision. Soon, the street lamps would light up, and the bustling city of Tokyo would be swarming with people enjoying this winter season. But she knew she would be different from them even if she was one of the many who trudged on the same snow-covered path; she knew she was not enjoying the winter season; she felt lonely, and missed someone badly—someone so dear and so warm...

"I'm sorry, Hikaru..." she recalled, just a year ago, where she had been standing near the fountain in the park, together with Hikaru. It was then snowing—heavily.

Her eyes had gleamed with tears as she spoke, "I- we-... Let's stop seeing each other for now..."

She had waited for him to ask for the reason, but the question never came. Instead, he had tenderly pulled her into his arms, and had whispered to her, "Akari, I don't know what happened... but when the day comes, if you need me, I'll be there for you... I believe in you..."

She had been grateful to him for his understanding, but it had made her cried, because she really treasured the times she spent with him.

It was like a dream come true, to be with the person she had liked so much. But her heart had wavered then—was it love, or just infatuation?

She had known when they had pulled apart, that Hikaru had loved her with all of his heart. His eyes had shone with the deepest warmth she had ever experienced, and his face had had on a worried look. But that was what made her uncertain. He had given her all of his heart, but had she loved him?

She had doubted herself when he had believed in her. She had even wondered what the relationship between them was. It would not have been fair to him, if her feelings for him were just infatuation. It was not fair... That was why she had chosen to leave him—to give him his freedom, and to find out if her feelings for him were true love, and not just only little feelings of liking.

Many things then changed—she moved to a new house with her family, and days passed with her heart possessing a strange feeling of emptiness. Sometimes, she would suddenly find tears flowing down her cheeks unknowingly. Months had passed when she finally realized that she needed him... and that the feeling for him was something special, something that she could not find among the other boys in her life.

She had wanted to tell him that, but when she had looked for him, his mum had told her that he had left for another country to work. "I'm not sure how long it will be..." His mum had said.

Despite having obtained his contact from his mum, Akari did not call him, because she believed if anything is more important, it couldn't be as important as to tell him her feelings for him only when they meet.

Me wo mitsumetara, sugu atatamete
When I looked at you, your sight was warming me
Shinjiteru garasu ni kaita moji
I believe in you, were the words I etched on to the window

Her slightly damp hair swayed in the almost icy breeze. She subconsciously rubbed her gloved hands and looked down on her brown boots. Her eyes then looked around her, noticing the thick white snow that covered the ground and the many different footprints imprinted on it. She strolled on, without any particular direction in mind, and soon came upon the place which had great importance to her.

Before her stood the white fountain which blended so well with its surroundings. The water had frozen and water no longer splashed out beautifully from the top. Just as her hand reached out to touch the clear ice within the fountain, something white fluttered down onto the back of her hand. She looked up and discovered in mild amazement that it was snowing. Small pieces of snowflakes came falling down from the almost dark sky. The street lamps around her gave out light which made the snowflakes seemed to be dancing. She stretched out a hand and let a small ball of snow fluttered down onto her palm. She smiled bitterly. Winter—the season she loved, yet it was also the time when she faced sadness and loneliness. How ironic...

She looked around and thought about how similar it was to one year ago—the snow, the frozen water of the fountain, and where she stood. The only difference then was that he was no longer around. She peered into the distance between the trees as though she would see him standing there, but it only turned out to be an empty pathway...

Ima furi sosogu, kono yuki no naka
In the midst of this falling snow
Tada hitori, sagashiteru
I walk alone, in search of you

Akari walked over to the nearest bench and sat down. She watched as the snow came falling down in greater amount. She pulled her coat closer around her body and arranged her scarf to make herself feel warmer. But no matter what she did, the tinge of coldness in her did not leave.

Shaking her head as if to shake away her thoughts, she then laid back and let her eyes wandered around the place. She was at the centre of the park where the fountain was, and the four paths leading to the fountain were deserted. On both sides of the paths were trees with empty branches. The shrubs and grass also laid bare in the cold weather. She watched as snow find its way and settle on the bare branches. Being mesmerized, she lost track of time, with her mind fully occupied by the beauty of the snow.

She only regained herself when she heard people approaching. A couple strolled hand in hand past her, talking in low whispers as she distinctly saw the both of them smiling to each other.

Her eyes followed them to where they soon disappeared, and she wondered to herself if it was a feeling of envy which she had felt all of a sudden. Just then, another couple walked past in the distance and it was then did she realize how popular it was a place for couples to come. She began to feel uneasy about her presence in the park. She felt out of place; she felt minute; and more significantly, she felt alone. She knew she missed him—terribly...

Shiawase to, aruite iru ne
All these couples walking around town
Machi jyuu no, koibito tachi wa
They seem happy, don't they?
Ano koro no, futari no you de
I am heartbroken at the sight
Mune ga kurushiku naru
As they remind me of us, back then

"Hikaru! Look at this!" Akari pointed to a spherical musical box.

Hikaru turned around behind her and looked at the object Akari had picked up. She wound the spring of the musical box a few rounds and a sweet melody rang through the shop. As she settled it on the shelf after inverting it twice, Hikaru then saw, at last, what she wanted to show him.

"It's cute, isn't it?" Akari said, looking at the sphere unblinkingly.

Within the transparent sphere were two adorable figures—a boy and a girl. And pieces of white flew around within the sphere, making it seemed as though it was snowing inside the sphere.

Akari, who was so captivated, said nothing more and gazed at the orb. It was when they left the shop did she noticed Hikaru behaving strangely.

"Hikaru?" Akari called softly, and Hikaru blinked as if his soul had just been called back.

"What did you say?" He quickly replied.

"I didn't say anything..." Akari giggled and walked ahead, while Hikaru shrugged and followed behind.

As they arrived at a less crowded place, Hikaru started, "...uh Akari?" He waited for Akari to face him before taking out a little package. "This is for you... You like that musical orb from that shop, right? So, I –uh- bought you that..."

Akari watched, surprised that Hikaru could be so thoughtful, and exclaimed when she finally regained herself, "That's so nice of you!"

In her delight, she hugged Hikaru, but quickly withdrew with her face blushing and she hurriedly whispered, "Sorry..."

For a split second, she had the faintest idea that Hikaru was smiling...

That, was their first date... the very first which she will vividly remember eternally...

Samishii yoru wa, koe ga kikitai
I want to hear your voice on lonely nights
Namida no hi ni mo, tsuyosa kanjita
I would still feel you even on those days I cried
Deaete koto wa, guuzen jyanai
It was no coincidence that we met
Itsumo norikoerareta
I was able to overcome anything
Anata ga itakara
Because you were there for me

Having decided to leave, she stood up but shuddered as a gust of cold wind blew past her. She did not wish to leave, for this was the place she loves, the place where he first held her hand, and the place she last felt his touch...

All of the memories of him flooded her mind and a single tear fell from her eye as she tried to hold back her tears. She looked up at the sky and gazed at the falling snow, just like the tears which flowed within her heart.

She knew she regretted her decision. She knew since long ago that she had betrayed her heart when she thought she was letting him go. But it was even more painful when she realized she might have hurt him greatly then.

Nevertheless, there was nothing she could do now. She felt helpless, lost and sorry. Maybe everything would never return to how it was in the past; maybe all were lost since long ago.

But as she watch light shine on the snow which fall through the air, she felt that there was hope—though small but significant. And she closed her eyes, and quietly prayed and wished in the snow, for the chance to see him again and to be with him forever...

Moshi kanau nara, sugu ai ni kite
If this voice can reach you, please come right now
Te no hira de, toketeku hikaru yuki
As the shining snow melts on the palm of my hands
Mada todoku kana
Maybe if I spread my arms
Te wo sashi daseba
The eternity falling before me
Furi tsumoru eien ga
Will reach you in your embrace

Akari gradually opened her eyes to the serene environment around her. All the things she could see then—the snow, the bare branches of the trees and shrubs, even the dark sky—seemed to be able to calm her down.

She smiled faintly and put out her hand, then waited as a single snowflake descended onto the palm of her hand. She had always loved to touch snow, even if it was not a direct contact with her fingers. Just then, something on the path ahead of her caught her attention.

She lifted her head and looked in the direction. The figure stood alone on the path and just as Akari looked at him, his eyes, which had been watching the snow on his hand for a long time, looked up as if he sensed her attention on him.

Akari peered at the person who then looked back at her.

She could not believe her eyes—standing in front of her, just few metres away, was the person she had missed so much. Blond bangs, tall, and his usual winter dressing—it couldn't be wrong. Although she could not see his features clearly, she was sure it was him. But she hesitated. Could that be just a figment of her imagination?

She stood rooted to the ground as thoughts ran through her mind where she mentally searched for a possible reason that she had not noticed him. Perhaps the darkness of the night had previously concealed him; perhaps she was too involved in her thoughts.

Her eyes followed his figure as he advanced towards her. He stopped when he was few steps from her, where the both of them could noticeably see each other. He tilted his head slightly and asked in a voice filled with astonishment, "Akari...?"

That voice! Akari stared astounded at him as she bit her lips in anxiety. A sting rushed through her lips, and tears soon flowed down her face when she had finally realized that she was not dreaming.

"Hikaru..." she called softly as her legs carried her forward. As a pair of arms received her so that she fell right into his embrace, she felt the long lost warmth returned to her and all her sadness and helplessness disappear.

"Akari, I've waited for you for a long time...ever since last year...but never did I expect to see you here..." Hikaru whispered tenderly into her ears.

"Neither did I... it's so surprising...," Akari sobbed though her tears, and she lifted her teary face and looked at him, so that their eyes met. "I'm so sorry, Hikaru..."

Hikaru studied her for a moment, then grinned, "I guessed you were just unsure then... it's alright... I'm happy that you're okay now..." and lowering his voice, he uttered in sincerity, "I missed you lots..."

Akari smiled and laid her head on Hikaru's chest as he caressed her softly. As she listened to his heartbeat, she couldn't help but felt assured to be with him again.

Perhaps her wish that was made moments ago had come true. Perhaps it was predestined that they would meet. Whatever it was, she could not be too sure.

"Hikaru... can I stay with you forever?" Akari asked gently.

Though Hikaru did not answer, he held her even closer to him and the both of them then realized that the love between them had grew more then just words, it had evolved into a mutual understanding between them.

As they embraced in the snow which fell as though it was for eternity, Akari noticed how beautiful it was to be snowing at this peaceful night. Maybe it was destined that her wish would come true in the night with snow and at a place filled with her love...

Hikaru...I love you...

I love you too, Akari...

Me wo mitsumetara, sugu atatamete
When I looked at you, your sight was warming me
Shinjiteru garasu ni kaita moji
I believe in you, were the words I etched on to the window
Ima furi sosogu, kono yuki no naka
In the midst of this falling snow
Tada hitori, sagashiteru
I walk alone, in search of you

-The End-