He slipped through the lair's living room while glancing back and forth. No one was about yet, which wasn't surprising and was a relief. He didn't want anyone to see him as he slipped into Raph's room. The resident hot head wasn't there, so he curled up on the bed and covered himself with Raph's blanket.

It had been awhile since he and Raph had hung out like they used to. Not quite as long as Leo'd been gone, but a while just the same. He longed for the old days; Raph and him battling imaginary villains, saving the city and the world without the scraps and bruises actually doing so brought, joking with each other about who was tougher. Trying to beat Leo and Don at one of the many games they played, never guessing that most of their games made them better ninjas. He missed his brothers. More importantly, he missed his friend. As the familiar scent of Raph surrounded him, he finally relaxed enough to sleep.

----****----

Raph groaned and stretched as he pushed open the door to his room. In a way, he was grateful Mike and Don's jobs had put a cancel to the old practice schedule. Master Splinter hardly ever took them into the dojo anymore, trusting his sons to get practice in for themselves. And I do. Just not in the- He froze at the soft snore of "dude" reaching his ears. Mike?

Sure enough, glancing at his bed showed a turtle shaped lump already on it. Raph blinked a few times, but the image didn't vanish. What the shell? Why's he waitin' in my room for me? Haven't even fought with Don the past few days… He racked his brain for a few moments, but gave up trying to figure out Mike's reasoning. Who knows why he does stuff anyway? He considered waking Mike up, kicking him out of the room and risking Mike waking Don and Splinter as he tried to say whatever he came in here to say, before deciding he was too tired to mess with it. Shoving Mike over a bit, he curled beside his brother, remembering just in time that Mike was a drooler and shifting again so he was using Mike as a pillow instead. With a mental note to clean his pillow in the morning, Raph let the darkness of sleep take him.

----****----

Mike woke up slowly, a rare treat for him. No alarms, no one telling him he had to get up…he just woke up. He grinned at the delicious feeling of laziness and started to stretch until he felt the weight on his chest. Glancing down, he realized he was still in Raph's room and that Raph had come home sometime while he'd been asleep. Raph was currently still sleeping, his head on Mike's chest and his body stretched out alongside Mike's. Which meant Raph hadn't thrown him out of the room, a plus, but Mike had no clue why not, a minus.

He watched his brother sleep for a bit as he considered things. It wasn't unlikely that Raph had been too tired to deal with him last night and figured this would be the best way to keep him around for punishment. Since he and punishment had a hate/hate relationship going, getting out of Raph's room, and possibly the lair, was probably a good idea. Normally, he would, or would at least give himself some room to escape when Raph came chasing him, but…the last time he'd seen Raph asleep when he wasn't plotting some prank had been back as kids. It wasn't that Raph looked like some innocent angel or anything. He could see the toughness that Raph wore like second skin, the attitude and confidence that made Raph Raph, but it was softer in some way….

Raph could feel someone watching him. Judging from the slight movements that had woken him, he guessed it was Mike, but if so, why? It wasn't usual Mike behavior. Then again, sleeping in my room ain't really usual Mike behavior. He should probably get up, kick Mike out and maybe bug him for the reason behind his late night visit, but that would require moving. He really didn't want to do that just yet. Mike was really comfortable as a pillow, surprisingly.

Mike shifted under him and he lifted his head, eyes blinking open. They stared at each other for a long moment before Raph managed to break the silence, trying to ignore the odd feeling in his chest. "Ya make a decent pillow. Think ya got softer as we grew up." The comment was worth the stricken surprise on Mike's face. He sat up with a grin and looked down at his brother, an odd tightness in his throat at the sight of Mike lying in his bed, the blanket teasingly shadowing Mike's hips. Raph mentally shook his head of the thought.

"Nah, your hard head thinks anything is soft. But thanks," Mike teased, wondering what he'd seen in Raph's eyes. His brother wasn't usually one to hide his emotions well, or even bother trying. "Uh, thanks for letting me crash here."

Raph's eyes narrowed. "Yeah, 'bout that. Why did you? Break your bed or something?"

Mike hesitated, not sure how to explain what had driven him from his bed to the safety of his brother's. "Just wanted a change of scenery, you know?" he tried, hoping Raph would buy it. Raph didn't say anything, just watched him and waited. He sighed before continuing. "I just…remember when we were younger? The four of us would hang out and play and…and…and just have fun. And then we got older and started doing our own things and you and Leo were fighting all the time and…" Mike's voice dropped to a whisper, "And then he left. Now you and Don fight and Don's working and all stressed out and no one's ever ihere/i anymore and…I miss us."

Raph sighed softly and laid back down, arms wrapping around his brother comfortingly. "We're still us, Mike. We jus' grew up."

"I don't like it."

"Who does? 'Cept maybe Leo. It happens anyway. 'Sides, you don't really want us to do everything together all the time, do ya? We have different interests, and we need them."

"What do you mean?"

He would make me explain. Raph considered his answer for a moment before replying. "Well, Don's interest is science right? Without him, we wouldn't have the lights, or plumbing, or TVs, or appliances for the kitchen. We wouldn't have the heat and cool air when we needed them, we never would have done anything in that TGRI lab 'sides break stuff. And you hate sitting through his little lectures on how stuff works."

Mike made a small, non-committal sound. Raph took that as a sign that Mike was at least paying attention. "Leo is the voice of reason, even if he does over do it some. He focuses so hard on being good at everything; it takes some of the pressure off us so we can goof off. He also sets a standard for us, something we can compare ourselves to whenever we think we're good enough we can slack off. 'Cause he's always workin' to be better. And ya make sure we all remember to goof off. That Leo remembers how. It's like a balance thing you two got." Raph sighed and commented softly, "We're all off balance without 'im."

Mike grinned. "Aw, Raph, I think you miss him!"

"Ya ever repeat that and I'll make turtle wax outta ya." The threat was natural, easily given and easily received. The silence stretched between them for a moment before Mike asked a question.

"What about you, Raph?"

"Me? I keep ya all in line. A warnin' for when ya stray too far, a kick in the shell when ya ain't movin' fast enough."

Mike laughed softly, snuggling closer to Raph's warmth. "You also protect us."

"What?"

"You do. You want to fix it when we're hurt, you're the first to move between the villains and us. You don't always go about it the right way, but you protect us. You could've kicked me out last night."

"Eh, was too tired."

"But you could have."

"Figured ya had some reason for coming. Figured it'd wait till morning." The simplicity of Raph's logic made Mike smile. "Ya gonna be okay?"

"Yeah."

"Good." Raph shut his eyes a moment. It was really earlier than he was normally about, especially given how late he stayed out, but he oddly wasn't tired. His eyes opened again to find Mike studying him. "What?"

"I dunno. You just seem different like this."

"Goofball."

"You do. Like…I dunno."

"Like I said, goofball."

Mike smiled and shook his head. He knew when Raph was avoiding something, but this time he'd let his brother do so. There was a connection between them right now that Raph hadn't allowed anyone else to have. It was fragile, but there. He was hyper aware of Raph right now, of the muscles and scars that defined his brother's body. It seemed natural to snuggle closer, nuzzling his face against Raph's throat. He felt one of Raph's hands slid over his arm, up and down, leaving a tingling sensation in his belly.

The feelings in Raph's chest refused to leave. He didn't understand why he was reacting to Mike so oddly. Sure, this was the closest they'd been in months, but…there was something going on inside of him that made no sense. It felt like he was balancing on some fine edge, about to fall one way or the other, with no way of knowing which way was safe. His brother shouldn't make him feel like that, right?

Raph looked down at the same time as Mike looked up. On accident, on purpose, on instinct neither knew how to acknowledge, their lips met. They didn't move, didn't kiss, just stared into each other's eyes as shock and fear faded to a sense of peace. Mike pulled away first, opening his mouth to question, then leaned in again, pressing their lips together for the unfulfilled kiss. It lasted a heartbeat and an eternity before he moved away again. Their eyes met with so many questions unasked between them, their breath mingling.

"I- I'd better go make breakfast," Mike's voice cracked slightly. Raph stared at him a moment before sitting up and letting Mike scramble out of the room. Once on the other side of Raph's door, Mike breathed a sigh of relief. At least, he thought it was relief. Whatever. No more visits to Raph's room, that's for sure!

He shut his eyes and wished for sleep, wished for an answer to the questions burning inside. This was something he could never ask Master Splinter about….